Kiskit, Made of Fear

[granny]

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... fears...

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"You say my heart is tainted, that it is devoid of good. Although, how can you demand what was never given to me? I offer what I have."

Toril... a world of madness. It is not like it changed much since the Big Night. No. It was foretold that one day the veil of Maat would be removed and we would be faced with the uncontrollable force of Chaos, brought by the Father of Jackals, obviously. This terrible force has came was here before, enveloped, coiled, forced to be quiet, lurking in the corners of our eyes, waiting for the right time to unfold, unstoppable. It teased us with its nightmares, not so quiet, not so silent, not so unseen, underneath Maat... which was kept by Horus-Re and Osiris in such a fateful way, the unchangeable law of the Eternal Empire.

Myself, although, I was never denied the pain and the suffering brought by the servants of His sect, I knew little of the Maat the priests of the empire spoke of. I knew the words, the tomes... the old dusty parchments. Still, Maat never met my bed, my blankets and the silk that covered my body. Set did.

Maat was for the others, Kiskit's service was bellow the Chaos of the Lord of Carrion. His volupia, His cruel touch, His lustful proposals, this was my service and nightmare.

And still, Horus-Re would not deny me assistance, even if my prayers never met Him, his Maat would veil and conceal the madness of my servitude, controlling and holding back their talons and blades. I would live, if not for the keeping of the Maat, at least bellow its own existence my existence would go on marking the weave of life.

I knew, although: that would not last. The dreams would tell me. The visions of unsettling, unstoppable change... everything would transform and I would be required a much needed action. To wait and watch would not be enough anymore. Soon, I would have to flee, when Maat's veil would be torn in two. The Unending Night came and the priests fell silent in mournful awareness of the disgrace that was incoming. The City of Shadows, enveloped by herself, opened in terrible battles: the Jackals biting, opportunistic, they knew that their only real problem would be Gheldaneth and the mages of the Scribe. Skuld's priests, silent as they were, had to watch quietly as the Jackals took what they desired, from gold to slaves and to enemies. Soon the Pharaoh was brought down and the Eternal City was unrecognizable. I needed to flee, they were uncontrollable now. No respect, no fear, no need to hide their fangs, they would open me and serve my blood to Him while doing Gods forbid me to imagine.

I left my parents back. Not like they acted as parents in all the time I spent with them, but, still, I felt pity for their fate now that they lost their shield, the daughter that would appease the wrath of the Jackals, I was their sack of coins. They would need now to be creative, or soon face how heavy their own hearts had become in the scales of Osiris. Not that He would be there to receive their sinful souls, although.

Running from Skuld, I found myself facing even more horrifying things. Cities destroyed, strange creatures coming and threatening whoever that still lived. Deformations, mutations, horrid and terrible fates. I started to wonder if I had done the best choice in leaving Skuld. Maybe I should had tried to soften those hounds. Maybe...

A portal... well, if this isn't marvelous: a chance to escape this madness. The Lord of Carrion would cackle I am sure: I giving my body to chaos, jumping blindly into a portal that I did not know where it would lead me. It is not like I had much of a better chance. I gave it a try.

Underdark... a place even darker than it was the surface bellow the Unending Night. Maat had really been destroyed; I never thought to come to be in a place like this. I was scared... fear filled by being like it did my blood. My blood was pure fear matter, dissolved in panic and paranoia. I still do not understand why I gave myself to that man test and probe for what he spoke to be the dread influence. He was dreadful with such gear, I thought... and soon I would hear the tale of the creatures that were taking the world while Set and his Night Serpent devoured Mulhorand.

The horrors of the Underdark that waited the end of Maat to sprout and spread were now closer to me than ever and I wanted death to come. Still, she would not come. Not before I found myself amongst the dreadful, incompetent Thayans. I still do not understand why I joined the Mausoleum, but desiring death as I did, it felt right and safe to be amongst these that dealt with it. Death would be... it would not come to me, but I would bring these that she touched to their rites, my only way to mock Set and deny Him the soul of another person.

... and then: the Awakened came. That night I thought it was my last and I feared again. I thought they would give me a good slice of that cake of pain. Jacques saved me in time, or doomed me. I still tremble to think that I could have had my own consciousness delivered to some twisted experiment, which might still come... I hope not. I needed to be quiet. I needed to accept them. I would not like to be forced like the Jackals did force me. Not again... no, I would make them pleased, I would convince them that I could be trusted, that they would not need to be mean to me. So hard... I wished not to be seen with them. Not be related to them. Although, they kept pushing me back... they kept bringing me down. I barely know who I am... Kiskit slowly dissolves into this new self, whatever remains of me.

... and then: Fletcher. He took more than my leg, he took a part of my heart, of my soul. I said I was dissolving, after Walden Fletcher I say that I crumbled. Fear came again, my entire being, not only my blood, I was made of fear. I was pure fear. There was no place safe, there was no place where to be sure and calm. Wherever I would go, I would tremble and shiver, because he could be there, waiting.

A safe harbor was Sru... she was the strangest creature that I ever had seen, but her heart had trust, she made me feel safe and she gave me a chance to be the only true Awakened amongst the stupid monkeys. Zerthimon, Zerthimon... I hoped this could cover me away from the chaotic glare of Set. My personal Maat. And she died. Oh, Sru, why would you die on me? Of everyone... my safe harbor was gone.

Since then, I have been visiting the Lowerdark more and more. It is a dangerous trip, I am aware, but it is where I feel calmer and where the non stopping nightmares make more sense. The alien atmosphere, the raging wind, the dry sand and the silence, where I am not exposed to their nightmares, the dreams of people and the reflex of my own fears, this all changes to things I do not understand, to murmurs I can't phantom. Ignorance is such a bliss... and their patterns, so much more beautiful. The crazed desires of a hook horror, exotic... but such delicacy.

Maybe when...

... when the change Marcius promised me comes... then maybe I will be finally safe?

[tface=salt][COLOR="DimGray"]Kiskit, of House Yalspephrit[/COLOR][/tface]

She died before it came

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Fun Facts

• Kiskit planned to have tentacles with eyes instead of legs (she asked to be merged to a Nyth, but people are too conservative around here)


• I kept trying to change her personality, trying to make her humbler, but she never allowed it


• My goal was to explore paranoia and madness on her


• She mind programmed an assassin to kill Ksenia (do not worry, the assassin was an incompetent and died)


• She hoped to be akin to Sru


• She enjoyed more the nightmares of the aberrant than the nightmares of the mundane people


• She hated all factions she joined in, for one reason or another


• She had Set as her deity, but she hated (and feared) him. She joined the Mausoleum despite it being ruled by Thayans because she wanted to tease Set, denying him bodies (initially I hoped to mess with the faction, but it didn't seem fit as the character developed)


• She thought elves to be akin to Red Wizards


• She thought halflings to be malnourished dwarves


• She thought gnomes where deformed dwarves


• She thought that everyone else that wasn't Mulan were disgusting defects of existence


• She was half Turami, half Mulan


• She was daughter of a merchant that often sold her to the Set cult in exchange of favors and protection


• Fear was her reason for most decisions


• I tried to create an EFU Canon of Mulhorand's fate after the Darkening: the Dread had little effect in the region, the Set followers being the real danger and chaos, murdering most of the priests of the other, now silent religions (still to check with DMs, lazy that I am)


• She was a GSF Enchanter/ Diviner Dream Eater. I wanted to make her divine stuff through the dream of others

My thanks to Ladocicea and to the players of his prelude. Also, my special thanks to Somnis and Cmenden with whom I was able to toy with special shenanigans.

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[xXCrystal_Rose]

Walden Fletcher got her in the end.

[cmenden]

She mind programmed an assassin to kill Ksenia (do not worry, the assassin was an incompetent and died)

INDEED.

Kiskit was awesome, can't wait to see the next! :D

[Technologic]

so many plans!

[Knight Of Pentacles]

ugh so many plans!

[Pandip]

She mind programmed an assassin to kill Ksenia (do not worry, the assassin was an incompetent and died)

ksenia too kawaii, nobody wants to assassinate her!

Kiskit was cool. As always, I'm impressed by the amount of integrity you show to the characters that you roleplay. They're always fun to be around, even if it seems like we've always butt heads since Oya!

[The Old Hack]

O.o

Masterfully played!

[Gentlemen of the Empire]

Thoroughly enjoyed interacting with Kiskit on the few occasions we had chance to.

[Somniis]

Dear Kiskit, of House Yalspephrit,

Looooved the interactions this crazed human foisted on Sru. We both found out at the same time.... that I must be part elf as well as.... something else...:: Immune to sleep-spell attacks!  A resistance to Kiskit-shenanigans that happily surprised me.

Very well played. I am certain Kiskit-Sru 'conversations' will continue into the next world. Like sands through the hourglass... :D

Until then.... Peace..........