A public apology

[Siren]

I debated over a few hours over whether I should make this thread or not, I didn't want the attention, but I wanted the opportunity to explain myself and apologise for having broken a server rule.

I've no idea if these issues are made public, debated amongst the DMs, or what have you, I figured that matters little when the real issue at stake is my conscience and feelings of guilt.

Last night I created a new character, after having spent the past few weeks trying to find one that I felt genuinely interested in. In addition to planning out the details to this character's background, I went ahead and decided to see if I could figure out how to get custom portraits to work... I had found the right portrait and it was just what I wanted, so I was determined to make it work and succeeded.

Now, foolishly, after a while of playing the character and doing a few quests, the server had a low player count and I couldn't find anyone to roleplay with, so I decided to head down to the House of Trade and try to costumize a suit of armour to make it resemble the one in the portrait I had found. After a bit of messing around, I decided I actually wanted to buy an armour, so I began tinkering with a suit of splint mail. Ideally I'd get full-plate, but I knew that was out of my budget. So I spent a while messing with the colours, changing the appearence until I was pleased with the result, I figured it looked almost as good as the full-plate one, so I immediatly wanted to buy it. After it was done, I noticed I was around 200gp short. It was quite late (early) and I was afraid of having to go through the costumization process again, not having memorized the names of the colours, so I logged onto my other character, dropped some healing trinkets on the ground and gold to partially cover the armour's cost... I then bought it and went to bed. I knew what I was doing was wrong and I knew that I was breaking a rule.

I don't know why I did it, I could've easily just gotten that stuff the next day, I could've just spent a little time costumizing that armour again. I just want to clarify that I didn't do this to get a mechanical advantage over anyone else or to gain some sort of edge over the other players... Had I been even stupider, I'd have went straight for a suit of full-plate, but it seems I wasn't that irrational at the time.

I had no intentions of "cheating", I never do it in single-player games, I surely wouldn't do it here either. The character in question wasn't meant to be strong, either... it was a rogue/cleric with INT, CHA and a rapier weapon focus. I hope that at least makes it clear that I wasn't intending on enhancing my character's mechanical prowess or make it competitive for PvP, because I'm not that sort of player. I'm a bit on the soft side about harsh death penalties, so the only thing I might worry about is survivability. When I came to EfU I was playing a completely broken Rogue/Wizard and Jayde Moon was the one who volunteered to help make a character that fit what I had in mind, while keeping it mechanically "viable".

It's a game and we're all here to have fun, but I can't say that I'm not feeling bad about it, when players and DMs alike have made their best to make me feel welcome in the server, going as far as to optimize builds for the characters I have in mind, explaining things, always being approachable... and then I violate their house's rules. I'm very sorry and hope that this event doesn't tarnish the way people see me, or somehow make them "wary" of me.

I'm dedicated to my characters when I like them and I'm here to roleplay, I hope whoever knows me still sees me the same and that whoever doesn't still wants to interact with me in-game.

It probably would've been best to stay quiet and not make this thread, but this has been chewing me up for a while now. I could've just as easily approached someone in private and explained, but ironically enough, this way is easier.

I guess nobody was harmed in this situation, but I believe it's still my place to apologize for going around a rule to acquire futile vanity gear. The ironic thing is that I was already wearing splint mail when I bought the costumized suit, so it provided literally no bonuses, other than the fact that I got to look at my character and see a resemblance with the portrait.

I should clarify that I didn't make this thread to get attention (negative one at that), nor do I mean to spark up a discussion on how I broke a rule, but I needed to get a weight off of my shoulders. I play to have fun and I wasn't having any after this.

I think that by now it's obvious that I won't do anything of the sort again and I just hope that everyone who reads this or hears about this is still willing to play with me as before.

(In case anyone's wondering, the character in question has been retired, so there's no need to worry)

Thanks for reading. =)

[Stranger]

Mistakes happen.

The dungeon masters will not hold it against you, nor will the community. Many of us have done something questionable before, not quite by mistake, but it's enough not to do it again.

This is a casual hobby for all of us, don't beat yourself up. I know I do so too often.

[Spiffy Has]

This would have been better posted in the DM private discussion thread, Siren.

http://www.efupw.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=121

[Moonlighter]

If this is the worst mistake you've made, then you're still alright in my book.

[Razgriz]

We all make mistakes, I think it speaks highly of you that you admitted to it and apologized, instead of trying to cover it up. We all get frustrated from time to time and say or do things we wouldn't normally do, sometimes we just get too into the game (cause its so much damn fun).

[goate]

All good Siren.

[scrappayeti]

I've been naughty lots of times, occasionally on purpose, but mostly because I forgot/misread one of the dozens of rules. EfUers are all pretty forgiving, provided you didn't really mess someone else up in a spiteful way.

[Bouquet of Roses]

Yeah. Something like this is pretty minor, I think.
I did the same thing, once, on CoA!
None of us are perfect, and we all suffer from the occasional momentary lapse of judgement.
That aside, I've liked your characters.
So just keep up the good work.

[The Old Hack]

Eh. People here are only human and human beings occasionally make mistakes. (Except for me, mind you. I'm not human, I'm actually a spambot. They just haven't found me out yet.)

Just keep trying to do better and it's all good :)

[Nuclear Catastrophe]

If it makes you feel any better, we'd have caught you anyway the next time our resident bloodhounds decided to do a cursory system check ;)

As has been said in here already, everyone makes mistakes.  It's rare that they go so public about it but truly the most fun you'll get out of any game is by playing fairly.

And if anyone is ever going through any tough patches with efu or finding it difficult and demoralising then I stress to you to approach the DM's.  There's a lot we can do to make things easier or fun if you're really struggling.   And if all you want is to tailor some splint mail or something similar just ask and we'll probably let you do it anyway :)

[Howlando]

We did catch her NC :)

Players are reminded not to attempt to item transfer, exploit or disregard any of the rules, as we will retire your characters for it (and maybe even ban).

In this case I think we can safely say that plenty of new players have made mistakes, and we can just move on. Apology accepted, and the offending PC has been restored.

[Dr Dragon]

Word of advice.......Stick to only 1 character. This prevents that temptation to metagame info you got on an alt or transfer gold/items between characters.

[Siren]

Thanks everyone for being understanding/supportive.

Sorry about having made this thread here, I didn't know where else to post and hadn't taken notice of the section Spiffy Has linked to.

Suppose I feel better today after reading these responses. Thanks also for returning my PC, it really shows kindness, but I'll make it a point to not play that character ever again. I didn't intend to have it restored with this thread, but thank you nonetheless.

I'll be playing a character with a similar name, essentially the same concept, but a fresh start with no stains like this on its carreer.

Thank you for making me feel at home once more. =)