A Letter for the Deputy Chief Scribe, Bashir Khatara

[Synclair]

Dear Bashy,

I am writing this letter from the comfort of my home to say hi! I feel like I haven't seen you in SO long, and it's just not fair! It's just not fair at all!

Thank you for always being my bestest friend in all of the Well... and my first love, too! Isn't that funny? Many months have passed that we can both look back on it and laugh. What a time! It took me a long while to realize that your eyelashes weren't just long, but you coloured them in with the richest kohl, too! And that just isn't what I am looking for in a man... you understand, I am sure!

Anyway.

Enough reminiscing of the past. Let us look forward to the FUTURE! Where we'll grow real old and drink tea together. Oh! We should do that. Drink tea! Catch up on the latest gossip, talk about people, places, things. You know A LOT! of stuff!

Speaking of; do you have any idea what one can do for a bald head? I am sure you know of some treatments or serums that can induce hair growth, and if not... how does one style a naked scalp!? It is not for me, you see. Corty's Prelate now, he should be most presentable for his higher station!

Anyway.

Let's catch up soon, please!

Your bestest friend who loves you lots but not like that anymore obviously,
Selwyn Najm

P.S. I think you forgot the outfit I asked you to make! But that's okay, I am sure you are incredibly busy and I don't want to stress you out anymore than you probably already are, considering everything going on!

P.S.S. Always here for you!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Dear Selwyn,

Thank you for being my bestie, too! However, I don't really get what you mean by that stuff about the kohl. The kohl is the manliest of facial accoutrements! Now, if your reluctance was in regards to my radiating femininity, inherent to my very essence... sorry, that's what Inky says, anyhow, and I kind of like the sound of it... Anyhow, if it was about my femininity, then I'd understand, because not many can handle such... After all, the contradiction hints of great bravery, so, they think I'm a knight or something. I don't know.

As for tea, I have a lot of noomi basra. It's why I'm never sick. So, you can just knock on my door, and I'll get the kettle brewing! Boiling...? Steaming...? Whichever! Just, like, come up with a secret knock, so that I know that it's you. I get a lot of weirdos knocking on my door, you see. Sometimes it's my neighbor, though. She's a kindly ol' grandma, and real nice. She gives me a lot of fruit, which is nice.

Are you going bald...? Or is this for Cork? I hope it's for Cork. Since him going bald is no big deal, because he already is. Bald, that is. Anyhow, there's no cure for the curse of baldry, as far as I know, anyhow. Some smear their noggin with castor oil, but that just makes your head smell real weird. It's also a laxative, so, if you have pets that that sit atop your head, they'll probably need to poo a lot.

Anyhow, yes, I forgot about the outfit, sorry! Maybe we can work on it together, next time we meet. Someone made an order for pillows. I'm also working on a laurel. And then there's my own designs... and all the socks I make for the orphans... and a bunch of other work! Sorry!

Let's meet soon!

Bashir

[Synclair]

Dearer Bashy,

Yay! You wrote back!

If kohl truly is the manliest of male accoutrements, how come I don't see Mr. Burak wearing it! He is most manly... I do hope he's okay after what happened with Kha'esh. Have you heard from him at all? I'm noticing a severe lack of Big Chums on the Scald...

Anyways.

I know all about radiating feminininity! Perhaps that's what got between us... so much feminine energy can be dangerous (Just like how too much masculine energy can really stink up a whole room! Like when all the men from the College of the Lost Hearth are together!)! It's liable to be intimidating, making us unapproachable! And that'd be real bad! We have to stay approachable for our jobs, you know!

Lately, I've been getting a lot of migraines and tension headaches. I suffer a lot of stress! I'm blessed to already have unnaturally-but-natural white hair to hide errant grays... so maybe a tea of this noomi al-basri will do me some real good. I'll be sure to knock-knockity-knock-knock... knock-knock! on your door (that's the secret knock rhythym).

Gods forbid I ever go bald... that is the epitome of masculinity, and I can't ever be like that! EVER! It's Corty! Maybe there's a way to transplant some of his beard hairs onto his glistening scalp! Although, he is perfect just the way he is! Castor oil seems gross, maybe something like lavender! But maybe that radiates too much femininity. What's a masculine scent? Sandalwood? Musk? Are those oils?

I would love to work on the outfit with you! It'll be Corty's political regalia! The most important part are the sandals, you know. He says, and I quote: "You need to keep your toes spreadable." I think it's about staying well-balanced and mobile, or something.

But he's not a foot freak, I swear! No matter what the Sukaitza tell you! Fenton's the foot freak!

What strange timing. I quite literally stepped back into my home when I saw this letter, having just returned from running around looking for you! Now that I think about it, I didn't try knocking on your door...

Looking forward to seeing your pretty be-kohl'd face!
Selwyn Najm

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Dearer Selwyn,

Do you mean Barak? Babu Burak was that priest who kept asking me for money all the time... I don't really get what money has to do with faith. Anyhow, I'm sure Barak was really into kohl in his youth! Did you know...? He and the rest of the Chums come from a place called "Taridut"! It's a town that's always on the move... which makes sense, since the groknaks keep pulling it around!

Speaking of being on the move, I visited the Crown of the World yesterday! It was magnificent... there was a waterfall, and everything. Well, some water was flowing from one of the peaks. I think that counts as a waterfall, since it's water that's falling. Anyhow, we really should visit together, unless you're scared of extreme heights, and the Crown is the extremest of heights, because it's like, the highest point of the Disc, or something.

Coffee helps some folk with migraines! But it makes them worse for some... So, you'll have to experiment, I guess!

You can try giving Cork a head massage, while focusing on posive thoughts! Then those thoughts just might flow through your fingertips to his noggin, and give a jolt of life to the tiny hair follicles remaining... I don't know, that makes sense to me!

Also, musk isn't really an oil... You just mix it in it, usually. It comes from the musk deer! They look like vampires! It's really spooky... well, during midnight, anyhow!

I have over a hundred different designs for sandals! Please let me know which you like best, when next we meet!

Bashir

[Synclair]

Dearest Bashir,

PLEASE DON'T TELL BARAK I GOT HIS NAME WRONG!!!

I would very much like to see this moving town! I'm picturing great big yurts atop grand wooden chariots pulled by the most decorated and regal of Groknak... how divine! Perhaps we can ask Barak if we can do so!

I remember you telling me when I saw you on the Scald of this "Crown of the World." It's the first time I've ever heard of such a place! And it sounds absolutely phenomenal! But... I'm terrified of heights! I've only just gotten used to flying on an ashsail.

Coffee is an addictive substance, don't you know! Corty drinks it often, but I'll have to give your suggestion a try and see how I fair. Perhaps if we're both stimulated with coffee, these positive thoughts will be extra charged to encourage hair growth! It's a sound theory worth testing!

I'm looking forward to designing something with you! Corty is sure to trust me with his fashion choices!

Now comes the less fun part... I would love to hear your thoughts on the current state of the war, and our dealings with Kha'esh. You've got a real brain for politics, whether you like it or not, I think! It's one of your many jobs, after all, to keep tabs on these sorts of things. Do you think we'll be okay? Sometimes I wonder if Corty and I should run away and start a goat farm together.

Selwyn Najm

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Dearest Selwyn,

Sure, I won't tell him, but you better memorize his name, just in case, so you don't accidentally blurt it out to his face!

You can also try chanting words with positive connotations during the scalp massage... Like, "apricot", or "delight", or "keister" I meant "keeper"! I think it's better if they rhyme, because there's great power in rhyme and music...

As for the war, I think we're going to win, but it'll be real costly. I mean, they sent us the 11th Legion, and I hear that's usually not a good sign, because they come around like, especially desperate times, or something. As for the goat farm, I think that's a good idea. Just don't start it around here, though. I think Alkab or Baz'eel would be much more pleasant for such!

Bashir