A Brown Leather Bound Journal with soft Handprint Scorch Marks.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 1st, IY 7789

Happy turning of the Wheel.

---

Early this morning I spoke with Durgin. I asked him things so that I could know one of the men I love. He never knew his parents, an orphan to Got Valdhazr. He said they died to Orcs before he got the chance. That fills my heart with sadness. He had no siblings, at least none he knew about. His life before being a hero was that of a soldier. He told me, that sometimes he wished he could go back to the simple life. Things were easier then. I get that...

It's hard when everyone looks up to you. You can't mess up, you can't retreat, you can't make mistakes. Otherwise, it affects everyone. I told him I would help forge him into his old self. He's cracking. I know it, he knows it but doesn't know how to stop it. I don't want him to lose himself. I asked Ritz to make him some Dwarven food. Plus, I'm working hard on this petition. I think we surpassed twenty signatures the other day. So, people care.

I can't lose him.

---

I read some books today. I know, exciting. Truisms of the Wheel, The Origin of the Wheel (It was super boring.), and Ephia: At War - 1. The first and last ones were fascinating actually. Speaking of how the Wheel can be a denotation of time, and that there are four ages of the Wheel. The age of Birth, the age of Learning, the Age of Hardships...and the Age of Hot Flame. Even a Flamebringer such as myself does not want to see the last age.

The book on the War mentioned Never-Crown, Zosmere that is. The Prince of Got Valdhazr working with Rennik Colmes. Back when he was Warmaster. It talks of Iakmes, and how he wielded the bronze scepter to command the Ephians to kneel. That might be a problem later in the War. I think the Marishyen can help, they said they have some Silver words to force Iakmes to fight one-on-one.

The book even spoke about their being priests or robed figures of the Age of Silver. How they come and stop Iakmes with...some power? All interesting things I wish I could learn more about. Who were those Silver priests? Did they come from Bet Nappahi? What do they know of Agaslakku? What do they know of the world?

[There are various floating words, 'Orc'ah', 'Scepter of Bronze?', and 'Silver Priests?' floating about the page.]

---

I told Vorazol that I intend to stand at the Synod. I told him that I saw an Avatar of Agaslakku. Vorazol has believed me in the past, even witnessed when the spirits of war spoke through me. Claiming vengeance from Durgin. Something I would allow the 'worldly spirits' to do again. I hope they see my flame as a warm and safe place, a beacon in the dark to what I imagine is the cold dead lands. Often I find spirits just wish to finish their business before they go off to the Martyrs embrace.

Anyways, Vorazol was supportive. I was relieved that he was. I'm not really sure what I was expecting, shock for sure, but more of his weird sucking tongue popping noise that he does. But, instead he listened intently and understood. I appreciate him more now than I ever have. Though, I told him to be fair in the process of electing a Hakem. If his Spoke feels a certain way about who should be Hakem, I want him to follow that. It seems only fair. Besides, victory has to be earned, right?

---

Today is the day we march to the Tower of Vae Mojem... I'm nervous, scared, afraid. All of the emotions, yet I won't let them control me. If anything, these emotions make us cautious, which can be a good thing.

I hope it's not the Court of Air and Shadow. That one is frightening.

Cort's worried about me. I can tell, he came up to me asking if I had everything, fussing over me. It was sweet, and a new experience. Rarely do others do that to me. It's often me fussing over other people, but...it felt good. I'll have to survive, survive so that I can return to him, and all the others.

I don't want this to be my end. I'll trust in my allies.

[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]

[A simple drawing of fingerless gloves marred by fire countless times. As they are cupped together a small flame blossoms in the center of it through the use of negative space to show light in this black and white graphite drawing.]

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 2nd, IY 7789

All it took was one day.

One day for my world to light up in flames. We went to the Tower of Vae Mojem. There were so many people there, everywhere. The halls were full of Ephians, most of the time I couldn't get to the front. The Tower is not a place where one should rush ahead, yet, some did. Creatures spawn when one steps over a threshold, and so those at the back were in most danger. Aurelio, Vellyn, Inanna, Tomma, and the Sisters were with me near the back. Many were wounded because the 'Angry Grenths' would manifest out of thin air.

But, no...it was not the Court of Air and Shadow. We climbed the tower, still with all the danger that presented itself in the rooms, it was nothing compared to what lay ahead. The ascent into Vae Mojem itself, the realm frozen in time, almost literally. Held in place by ice and the workings of a powerful Djinn. Water and Light made themselves known. A brilliant display of light upon a basin of ice, surrounded by walls of frozen water. Our battlefield against what looked like a phoenix, but it was a trick. In the end...we defeated it.

As...I sit here. Alone in the Duunthall Hall. The bunks once warm with us all, now are cold. I merely look to my right and see what used to be. Crates with names of my friends, my allies, my kin. Boltha Hammersong, scattered to the winds Eastbound in search of the heir. My crate beside hers. Kraqq'tuth's crate, nestled closest to me now. I can almost reach it from here. Haldar Steelheart, his crate used to belong to Crowbell, I can see the old etchings in it from here. Durgin Doomed-Oath, I can touch his from here...a source of comfort. Druggnugdr Bruggnurggdurgn, his crate is looking at me, the furthest of them all. Ulfgrim...my warrior, my blacksmith, one of the three men I love.

Why am I writing about crates? You know, because...in some way or another, only four remain. Myself, Durgin, Haldar, and Ulfgrim. They are a reminder, a reminder of what's lost. Whilst some do remain, I am here. Alone. With crates. Like wooden simulacra of them staring at me.

[A pause, the page begins to have circular impressions. Tears.]

The dance of death continues, He knows.

Eight fell at the summit, a realm of pure ice, the home of the Djinn. Remember them well. They will live on in memory. Haldar comforts me; "Eight fell, where nine would have without you."

Saria Silverlocke.
Sister Zoe.
Lyceus Eleutheros.
Tomma Scamper.
Manta Wholt.
Kraqq'tuth Stoutbreath.
Regina Yn'vylyn.
Druggnugdr Bruggnurggdurgn.

---

I went to see Ulfgrim. Before we left for the Tower. I told him that I loved him. I did not get his response, for I would have fallen behind as the Guide for those going...

When I returned, and he had heard the news of the Duunthall's loss, he was angry. Understandably so. I went to him in the Scald, where he seems to reside. He - [A splotch blurs the ink.] -ed me, called me a 'Priest of the Murderer', that it was my fault they were dead, that I should have been by their side healing them, and that because I didn't save them, their deaths were on my hands. He screamed at me, raised his axes to me and commanded I leave. Stripping me of...that title we shared together. He was my Warrior, and I his Priest.

Now, he hates me, and I love him. Can - [A splotch blurring the ink.] - be reforged?

I give him time, in the throes of grief people say things they do not mean. Even still, once a word is uttered it is not so easily taken back.

---

"Suffer and Survive! Scream the truth to the world that hates you! You bring death to the deathless! Live and reason to whose without!"

I suffer, I survive.

I am not alone. I will bring warmth, glory, and honor to my friends, my allies, my loved ones, and my God. I will not give up.

[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]

[A drawing of two dwarves. One is a bald-headed man with a bushy beard, his eyes are closed in laughter, his teeth are bucked, but the joy radiating from the image is palpable. The other dwarf is one with a darker beard and longer too. Wearing a wizard's hat and smiling with their eyes closed, crows feet wrinkling adorably. Their names are written below. 'Drugg and Kraqq.']

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 3rd, IY 7789

I will try to speak more positively, to attempt to lift even myself, however the day began with strife. The defence was called, and with it a raid. I had to see them, Durgin and Ulfgrim. Ulfgrim was still upset with me, hardly saying a word to me the entire time, and still refusing my blessings. I don't care, I'll protect him anyways.

Durgin? I don't know. He seemed upset by something, but I'm not sure. He wanted to be alone after the raids and defence were over. I told him the entire story of Vae Mojem, Aurelio's desire to fight the Djinni, the map, the climbs to the tower, Auselgryd, and how... how Drugg and Kraqq met their ends. He asked me; was it worth it?

No, of course not. Eight are dead, and so is a Djinni. However, those people in their frozen tower would they have stayed there? Seemingly disconnected from this world. They were peaceful, they were happy, until we came along and destroyed it. Why? What did they do to us? It was all Aurelio's idea, his want to destroy the statue started it all, but why.

So no, it wasn't worth it to me. But, was it valuable, did it mean something? Yes, of course. It still brings about goodness. Maybe in time, in decades from now. The results of our actions will save others from harm from the court of Water and Light. Still, I will miss my friends now, and the harm my actions seemingly have caused to my loved ones.

I love you Ulfgrim. Durgin. I hope. I believe you will come back to me in time. Until then, I'll heal you, I'll bless you, I'll protect you.

---

I finished the memorial to the fallen at the top of Vae Mojem. I put the stone near Khiva's resting place in the Southern Encampments. Three Agasians fell, so three Agasians strife are recorded upon the slab. The other five are mentioned, but they will have their place in the Maq'bara. For my Duunthall kin, a flower was planted outside the hall, and their names were etched into it. Thank you Asherias.

Aldric came to me, wanting to become Agasian. He took the tenets of us Agasians in front of the altar that Ulfgrim broke in his rage. The one in the Scald. I mended it thanks to Ulfgrim's donation, and with it brought another into the warm and strong arms of my Lord, Agaslakku.

Then, a few hours later I had an elemental duel with Dandrik. He seems convinced he can convert me to B'aara. It's fun to see him try. I consider him a friend, and I think he enjoys that we are 'rivals'. Though I don't actually consider him that, he's my ally. I lost, but in my defeat I was victorious. I seek to lift him through trials and tribulations. He can be strong, he needs to be for what comes of being a Squire.

Aeronwy told Solina and me her life story. How she came from one of the earlier Rings before it fell. She's a ring runner. She asked us who we would consider teaching us as a Balladeer. She's a good woman; Aeronwy. I'm worried though, she has asked of me to be her Student, but... My Lord has spoken to me, I must do as He commands, not what the Balladeers wish at times. I'm worried because I want to help the Rose, truly. I want to find the Cup, as they will help me find the Heir of Got Valdhazr. But, I must heed the words of my Spoke. I must do what He asks of me.

What will they do when they find out? Will they remove me from their ranks? Will they hurt me? I am a Priest of Agaslakku first. Will they scorn me and hate me too, like half of the Duunthall now does? I want to stay me. I want to be Grenth Flamebringer. I don't want to let anyone else hold the chisel. I guess...time will tell.

"Suffer. Survive. Scream the truth to the world that hates you."

---

I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to remain positive. To be the source of inspiration, to lift others up. I'm going to keep doing it, I'm going to smile. I carry the dead with me, but I must keep fighting. I must survive. I must suffer. I must persevere. Until my Lord looks down on me, and smiles. He will utter my name again, and praise me for the 'Thousand Cuts' I wield when I heal my friends when I save them from the 'Dance of death' that we all seem to be moving to.

Another night alone in the Duunthall Hall. The crates staring at me with the names of the dead and lost.

I am yours. Agasian, and I am not alone. Even still.

I love you, Agaslakku.

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 4th, IY 7789

The Assembly was today. Haknar gave me some advice, but...I don't want to be deceptive or trick people. I want to be honest. It's hard to play the games that the Legates play, the 'wars' they wage with words is a difficult one.

I took to the podium, and in doing so asked others to stand with me in support. I was amazed at all those who stood with me. It was a beautiful thing to see so many care, yet still. Achaeus did not budge. His unmoved by sympathy, instead he wants action. Cassandra says that I should seek to break this curse that afflicts those in the camp, then they will remove the exile upon Durgin.

Maybe I could have pushed for conditional freedom. Claudia said something, but there were just so many voices happening at once. Linlett was getting in trouble from Rhuk, I was so nervous I couldn't think clearly. What if Durgin had to remain escorted by my side? What if he was banned from bellowing about politics, only board work, war, and matters related to the curse?

How do I do that? How do I break the curse? The Taffavogh exist from a time before time was even recorded. They are beyond ancient. Not even the Marishyen speak of them or know them. To utter 'it' is to invite doom. How do you fight that? Silence? Nothing?. The grey things that existed before color, light, life; Anathema existed.

---

Not only that but the rules of the Synod. No member of the Accord can stand as Hakem. I need to then find a way to get the Warrior upon the Stele. As commanded of me by Him.

Agaslakku, if you can hear my prayers. I ask you, show me the path to victory. Show me the way to defeat this 'curse' that plagues the afflicted at the war camp. Show me the fires that will burn it away. Light the path I must walk with flame. I will do it, to save them all. Even if they are to hate me afterwards.

I am not alone though. I have asked my friends to help me. To aid me. My fellow Speakers for their knowledge and their Spokes wisdoms.

---

Then Rhuk states that Aurelio is brooking. I'm just so exhausted. I'm so tired of it all. How can I focus on everything all at once?

I'm never speaking to him again. First the Duunthall, now the Rose. If Rhuk needs my blessings of War, so be it. If he needs my council as a Priest, so be it. But, the bonds I have with him are breaking. Just this morning I stood close to him, comforted by his presence. Now my words of story are twisted, broken, snapped against me. All because I told a tale of heroism. Aurelio wasn't the only one there, many were. We all fought bravely. We were blessed by the Wheel.

I am a plague wherever I go. Mayhaps it is me? I am the curse.

[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]

[A drawing of a campfire resides at the bottom of the page. With it is a dying flame. Smoke and cinder are what remains of the burnt wood. A hearth unattended that is fading.]

Can this day get any worse? Three problems. No solutions.

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 5th, IY 7789

Things are beginning to look up.

I worked with many friends in the toils of board work to view the Azgals Valley again. The trees up on the mounts of Kulkund are beautiful. I got to work alongside Claudia, she is a potent witch and a great person. I met two new arrivals. Zalka is a woman with some power from the Axe as well. Fisher is a talented pugilist it seems. Finlay was there too, and she's going to blossom into a strong woman and Janissary under Rhuk's guidance. I know it. Milo was there, it was good to see him after the Vae Mojem...he was injured twice on the climb up.

The trees there, they give me a moment of peace. Like they are a reminder of a time before I fell asleep.

[There is an imprint of pine needles dipped in green ink from a branch on the page.]

---

I spoke to Haldar a bit. It always feels like I miss him by a hair's width. This time though we bumped into each other and it was nice. He came by the Hall last night in the wee hours of the morning as I asked him to. I made him beef stew before I went to bed and ensured that the hearth was warm and welcoming for him. I swear I felt him snuggle up to me, if only just a little. We both feel the loss of our friends, our loved ones.

[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]

[A drawing adorns this part of the page. It is a broken hearth like the one from the previous day, except there is a stark contrast in the mood. A fresh log is added to the fire atop the embers and ashes of the old wood. A fire is beginning to blossom and grow again with fresh tendings. A sign of hope, perseverance, and victory.]

---

I...told Dudley everything. Every word that Agaslakku spoke to me. She supports me fully in my path to stand as Hakem. I was...surprised to say the least. We Agasians do not want to lead the Wheel, we want to protect it. But 'To lead is to protect' sometimes. I told her my fears, my worries. I may have to leave the Rose to walk the Wheel's path. I don't want to hurt my friends... I don't know what to do.

I do know that I am grateful for my Sister of the Axe. Dudley has been there for me at every turn. Supported me. I will pray to Agaslakku this night, pray to Him that he rewards her for her faithful servitude and guidance that she granted me when I first came to the Well. Way back when I awoke in the sands thanks to His voice.

She showed me a place sacred to our faith. I will not dare write more of it, but...it is everything I could have ever hoped for, and more.

---

I...I went to the Balladeers intending to leave them. I cried telling my strife to Aeronwy that my Spoke was calling me away, heartbroken. She comforted me and inquired more as to the tale I told. As I spoke more, she grew concerned. She brought Aurelio to me, the amazing man he is, and we all spoke. What spoke to me was not my Lord. I was deceived and almost led down a dark path. The path of the Murderer...I don't want to murder, I want to heal. I want to be a Proud Warrior. It was all the works of one thing.

The Court of Fire and Blood.

It won't work. Thanks to the Lost Hearths' knowledge, protection, and guidance I am going to resist this being. I can't believe the fool I was. Looking back...it's so obvious now. The guise of a dancer, preying upon an emotional soul, masquerading as the Warrior, preying on my faithfulness. Perhaps...this was the true test?

It's just...I am saddened to hear this. I almost followed the path laid out by this being. Now, it is I who must resist this being. My Lord makes me resistant to flame, I will, I can do this.

I tell none this, save for merely penning my thoughts to paper but, I am afraid. I am afraid of this being. I have felt its blades upon my skin. I know it's strength.

Yet, even still. I persist, and now stand ever stronger, ever faithful with new knowledge to my God. Not the Murderer, but the Warrior!

---

Drugg.

Kraqq.

Walk onwards, guided by the flames we wielded. Find the Edutu and rest in the arms of the Martyrs, the Shepherds. Kali and Gali. I'll miss you two.

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 6th, IY 7789

A time wherein all things Begin. That's what they say at least. Is it also a time for endings? I hope not.

I stood today at the Synod. Scared and afraid I was, I did. I heard a voice, it did not scream at me this time. It told me to be brave. To not be meek, to not be a coward. Otherwise, I would not be worthy to wear the Golden Galea of the Proud.

This voice was different, so I stepped forward. I stood brave, but deep down I was afraid. I spoke my truth. I spoke that I would lead the faithful to victory. To help them pass the many 'wars' we face. The ones that linger in our hearts, our minds, and our souls. Not only the war upon the fields, but the smaller ones too.

A new arrival to the Well defeated me. A Halfling man named Yogi, a Speaker for the Wyld. He seems a good sort. I will support him in his endeavours. For the next cycle, the next Synod. I will stand again. For there is victory found in defeat. It just means I must grow more. Be more. Do more.

What is broken...

---

In walking this path, I had to turn away from another. A piece of my heart was torn off and broken. No Hakem may be a member of the Accord so that they are free from the potential weight of the politics within. That the Wheel may move along unobstructed by it. I had to look at Aurelio. I had to bare my heart to him and inform him that I must walk the path of the Warrior. All whilst in front of everyone. In doing so, I had to ask of him to remove the oaths I swore to him and the Rose.

Was I right? Was I wrong?

I know this. I intend to aid them wherever I can. To bring about the warm flames of the Warrior and guide them to victory. Alas, I do not know if I can don the cloak though. An ally to them I will be, bonded I cannot.

What is broken...

---

The spirit, the Djinn, the something returned to me. At the end of our warring upon the Orcs, it spoke. Telling me that I was weak, that I failed, and that I was a coward. I didn't believe it. Those around me thought me insane. Understandably so, but those of the Speakers are strange folk.

It...said more hurtful things. Calling itself the Murderer, and not the Warrior. That I was undeserving. It took one of my most prized possessions.

The Golden Galea of the Proud, forged by Augustus Zan. The Smith of Got Valdhazr's destruction, member of the Brass Vandals.

I blacked out and awoke within the Krak. A strange place, but perhaps Aeronwy carried me there. I am rather light for a Dwarf. I walked out to the Hall and...the Tower had questions, the Rose had questions. It was then that I saw Him again, or...It? It spoke to me, calling me a fool, and yelling at Aurelio for trying to pull a faithful away. That I would have granted honor and victory to the Rose Order.

It spoke of 'tests of faith'. To strike it would mean it...or He? Would leave me alone forever. I took the sword, the one Aurelio used to strike the Djinn down. I stood before the form, it towered over me. I called out to my God, Agaslakku. Shouting my love for him for all to hear. Plunging the blade into the creature. It did nothing as one would expect. Retaliating with a flurry of blades.

Painful...it hurt almost as bad as the fire. The fires of my youth. A time five millennia ago before I drifted to my slumber amidst the sands.

In this strife, I have lost my divine spark. My connection to my Lord.

What is broken...

---

I returned to the Duunthall. For a new helmet when the Balladeers called out to me. My faithful Speakers of Agaslakku and they were concerned about me. I returned to them, to tell them I was 'okay'. As 'okay' as one could be when their divine spark had been taken.

They wish of me to return to the place I found the Djinn. Where it first tried to call out to me and tempt me. They hope I will find answers there. For all it's worth, if I do not return to the Rose. They are still my heroes and have done a great deal to aid me. They are truly the heroes of old.

What is broken...

---

On our way there, an Ash-sail from Baz'eel sailed in. With it, the Princess Hasheema herself! She wished to meet with Durgin. She had heard the plight of Got Valdhazr and how he was the last remaining son of it. I stood there, waiting atop the Mount. Moments ago I was to go and attempt to investigate the home of this Djinn with the Balladeers and Sisters, but then I waited for a new reason. I waited for a man of whom I loved to step off the Ash-sail. Whilst it may have been by invitation, it was a dream come true to see him again standing in the Well.

She wished to hear the whole telling of Durgin's tale. It's a long one, but one fit for a hero. Perhaps, one day a bard will sit and write it for all those aspiring heroes to hear. As Durgin was once like that too. A simple guard, reading tales of heroes going on adventures. Now, he is ours.

I think people forget, that we are all people to. We all live lives amongst each other and it's easy to forget that when out of sight of another, we still keep on living.

It is in this that Princess Hasheema, in B'aara's kindness has granted the mercy to remove Durgin from exiledom.

What is broken...

---

I walk this path now, lacking a gift that my Lord has bestowed to me, and yet still I will stand as faithful. Agasian, for I am a Priest of the Warrior. Keep the faith; the devout warrior claims victory from defeat. So I will do just that.

For you, Agaslakku.

What is broken...shall be reforged. Even you. Even us. Even me.

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 7th, IY 7789

I walked around the streets of the Well. For a time, I went to the sacred place for Agasians, staring at the 'symbol', hoping that it would give me some clarity. I walk around without the spark of divinity, and it's a different feeling. I feel...colder.

The new Hakem, Yogi, told me the Speakers of the Wheel would stand with me. I believe that most will, but I am unsure if all will. I should speak to Vorazol and get his opinion of what is happening to me. Saman was...hurtful to me. Saying that I might be a 'Brooker'. How did that thing know my name? I led many expeditions into the Black Vaults. Many called out my name in that dark place.
 
I will bring the Warrior to my allies. This is my test of faith. I will inspire them, I will stand with them on the fields of war, spark or not. I won't lie, I am scared and afraid, but I will still stand. It warms my heart to know that I am not alone. I have many allies and friends who are pouring forth and offering their support.

---

I'm not sure what else to say today. I'm hurt. I'm broken. I'm afraid. Even still though, I find the joys in my life from the past victories I have waged alongside others. Durgin is no longer exiled. Maqqari got his promotion in the Sandstone. Evan is now a fully-fledged Janissary.

I've been taking music lessons from Khurgal over the past two weeks. I've been late to one or two of his lessons as of now, maybe he'll call out for me. Milo recommends I take up a hobby to pass the time whilst I wait for the war horns to sound. I hope Khurgal does call for me, I miss that silly, kind Dwarf. He's got a great voice. Good looking too... Oh - And the piano lessons are great!

If you're watching me from up above, Agaslakku. I stood up to that thing. It won't take me, I am yours. I was brave, even in my fear. I was courageous, even in my anxiety.

---

I went to the war today, a raid and a defence. It was...different not wielding the divine flame gifted to me. I had to remain out of the way of the healers, the frontlines, and those more adept at inflicting harm. I held my bow tightly and did what I could. I counted maybe fifteen or twenty fallen to my name.

Some were injured though, Durgin, Gideon, Marcellus, Ritz, and this new arrival that I've not spoken to as of yet. I hope he recovers. I know many will recover from their wounds, but still, I wonder if I could have done more. If I could have lifted them up, instead of watching them fall.

---

Vellyn and Inanna are the most interesting people. The other day, Vellyn said she would tell me a story of someone I chose. I know who I am going to choose, but she should know it first. It's a good surprise I don't think she will expect. She didn't expect me, a Dwarf, to wield a longbow like her elven people. But, those who know me know I am a bit of a strange Dwarf after all. Inanna granted me this new helmet, so now I don't have to wear the slimy green ooze one.

I'll kind of miss it, it jiggled when I walked.

However what really surprised me was Rhuk. He called me over and we spoke. I learned that he is a Kulamet. I should try to find him one of those Royal Favour Flowers, they just seem to be so rare. I was worried that he might attempt to try me for 'Brookery', but he knows me too. He said kind words that made me cry.

'No need to be afraid of the unknown, the darkness that consumes can only be broken by the brightest of lights. Just continue to be that light, the people will gather, rally to your aid. So just keep being Grenth. It will work out.' - Rhuk Nor.

So. I'll be me, Grenth Flamebringer.

Flame preserve me. 

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 8th, IY 7789

Not a good day today.

I pick up my pieces, and I struggle to put them back together again. Each step is a step forward. I have to remember that. Healing takes time. I've hurt, I've broken the trust I built with those I care for. Cort. Vorazol. It is no easy thing to heal. Yet, I will still try.

---

I spoke with Dudley, and she inspired me. As we faithful of Agaslakku do. She said that 'what is broken will be reforged'. Of course.

She speaks of my divine spark not being gone but merely broken. She says that as time passes, it will rebuild itself stronger than it once was. For example, when a bone breaks, it heals stronger than before.

That, or I will have to fight for it back. Agaslakku, I hope you're watching me, your faithful. Also, if that would have been you testing me in that way, I would have stabbed you. Like I did that thing.

I find a bit of humor in that, I hope you do too. That I would have been brave enough to stab even you.

What is broken...

---

[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]

[There is an average drawing of two male figures, one dwarf, and one humanoid. Both of which are dressed in Agasian garb. One of the pair is more 'divine' in being. Faceless, features obscured by the bronze helmet and donned in a red cloak of warm-looking fire. The humanoid figure is holding the dwarven one in its arms. An embrace meant for more than just friends. Jutting from the back of the dwarf is an arrow. Medically accurate as to where the heart would be. Above the figures is a small flame, not small enough to be but an ember, nor bright enough to be a fire, more akin to a wick.]

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 9th, IY 7789

I spoke with Peter in the morning. He, too, is a Priest of Agaslakku and a talented pugilist of war. He told me that he believes this is a trial of my faith, and that so few Priests are tested in this way. The gods don't often look upon one of their faithful.

Peter said that this occurring is rare, that it means a Priest is capable of channelling blessings beyond that of most others. But, first I must satisfy the tests of the Warrior. He said that his challenges might be more dangerous than most, but He is watching.

I must dispel my companions' worries, find my foe's weakness, and remain faithful. I will succeed. I have to. I miss mending the wounds of my friends. I miss shielding them from harm.

What I need now is knowledge. Knowledge of my enemy, their strengths, their weakness. So that I may defeat them.

---

Then, it was off to the Crypts with Aurelio, Cogs, Marcellus, Peter, and Claudia. It went better than I expected. I did my best to fire arrows from the backline, and I actually did quite well. Especially thanks to Claudia's magic. She's a wonderful person. I've learned that she too, likes to lift others up and inspire them.

Marcellus, Peter, and Aurelio are really strong too, so it wasn't too bad. Cogs' magic is incredible as well, he has moments where he can briefly step through time. Something about entropy and stasis, it's a bit above me, but it sounds fascinating. He has these Shelagrin? Shalgrin? Shelgarn? summons that are very strong too! Maybe someday soon I will sit down with him and ask him more about it. He is still supposed to teach me about 'entropy'.

---

I wrote Cort a letter of apology. He feels that I have betrayed him. That I am working with that of Fire and Blood. Dudley says "He is being an idiot." I wouldn't go as far as saying that, I just think he's hurt. He's wounded. I don't even know if he read the letter, or threw it away. I guess time will tell. I think what is important though, is that I'm trying.

---

The most important thing is to smile, to laugh, to share warmth in these cold nights. To be the beacon of hope and inspiration that I've always dreamed of being. I'll do this. I can do this. I don't stand alone anymore. So many pour forth with their support, their aid. I'm not alone anymore. I've found the strength that most dream of, the strength that is found when we stand together.

Sina's Night of Lamentation is today. I should get some rest.

I'll keep tending the flame. All I ask is...

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 10th, IY 7789

I'll sleep soon, but there are some things I should write about. I need to pen them to paper.

I saw a Griffin early in the morning yesterday. It seems Amélie and Aeronwy were searching for it. It was beautiful to witness something regarding Kula. Amélie tended to the animal and comforted it with what sounded like birdsong. She gave it something that I adore giving others: choice.

She let the Griffin choose if it wanted to follow us, and for a time it flew away. But, it followed after it considered us as friends or enemies, and I think in the end it chose to stay with us because of Amélie giving it that chance. It's somewhere now flying around the Citadel. It seems to like Aeronwy a lot.

[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]

[There is a drawing of a winged creature; a Griffon, with a hooded woman, resembling that of a Sister of the Sibylline with her hand outstretched towards the majestic beast. Vines are sprouting outwards from the sleeve, but there are no thorns. The beast has its head dipped towards the Sister as her hand is about to connect with the beast.]

---

Narwen told me a story about how my battle with my spark may not be physical. It could be purely spiritual. There are parts of Agaslakku I try not to glance at, parts I don't like to see. But, to love something, to love someone, is to see all their flaws, all their broken pieces, and love them all the same.

That's what love is, right?

So, I went on a pilgrimage to know the Axe, it's actually where I ran into Sister Amélie, Melody, Aeronwy, Dudley, and Alexandria going on this task for Kula. After their works, I asked them to escort me to a sacred Agasian shrine, a place of sanctity. The Altar of the Axe in the Nusrum. I spoke with the Orcish Priest there. His name is -

~ Ag'kal, Bearer of Glories, slayer of three legions. Breaker of the Sibilant Zythlf'suen, the great maw of Northern Wind. Strategist of the Five Red Gates, Breaker of the Red-Grey Mountain. ~

...and I really like him. I think he likes me too. We exchanged names and our deeds that we have accomplished. He called me a 'A grave thorn, that he would do a service to remove me', which I found to be quite a compliment. He even said that should we meet on the battlefield, he would offer to dislodge the axe and offer his hand to me when I 'Reconsider at the time of their victory'.

He said another thing, which...I will tell none of this, but he made my heart swoon for him a bit. "Perhaps when we are done bringing peace, you and I will get rid of the enemies of the Wastes together." I was a bit baffled, but I found myself drawn to him. He would be willing to work together with me? Whilst I also have a great deal of respect for him, we of the Agasian faith know that in these sacred places, we smile, we laugh, and we share stories with one another. But, tomorrow, we may very well face each other upon the field.

It's a shame, in another life we could have been friends, maybe even more...

However, my pilgrimage was a success. I saw the cruelty of war, and I showed respect to it. The other half of Agaslakku that I look away from. I saw it. I understood it. I love Him all the same.

---

I met the man so few know. A bard has called him 'Darkhelm'. I've dubbed him 'Snow'. Through speaking with him I have learned that he is an Urazzir. I know so little about the Wroth, so it's a great way to learn more. He seems to often give me warnings and cryptic messages. "We are all but ash in an hourglass. Our time waiting to run out."

Why Snow? Well, there is a coldness to him, that much is obvious. But, snow also has this profound beauty to it, this air of mystery. A lot of it can make places glow at the faintest glimmer of light but also reflect the inky blackness of the stars. Enough of it blanketing you, and it can provide shelter, but at any time it can also cause discomfort and ice coldness.

I'm going to consider Snow my way to learn more about the Wroth. This way I can learn more about the Wheel for there is strength in knowledge.

---

Sina's Night of Lamentation was good. I shed tears, as I often do. It allowed me to put some of myself back together, and now I push ever onwards.

I can feel my light and warmth returning to me. I am happier now, learning more about my Lord, seeing the other sides of Him, and speaking to people again. My wounds are healing. I'll speak and meet more people, spread the word of faith, and just keep doing my best.

I'll make you proud.

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 11th, IY 7789

More wandering, more searching. Will I ever find what I seek again?

Each step is a step forward, and those steps led me to Ritz today. We spoke about a dinner party. Seems we might be having a Duunthall Dinner soon. My legs twitch with anticipation as I write this. Will it be delicious meat pie? Haggis? A roast? Maybe another one of her Pretzels? I've never really been one for food. Just give me gruel with a bit of meat and I'll be fine.

I'm looking forward to spending time though with those I care for. A dinner would be lovely to have with the Duunthall. However, we should treasure the finer moments of life before we meet our glorious ends.

So, I will! Our conversations turned to the Valley of Black Ichor and, of course, my lack of a 'spark'. She was amazed by the sapling that continued to grow despite the darkness that encroached upon it. I had a profound thought: I, too, feel like that sapling. Darkness surrounds me, and I have to keep trying to burn bright so that I can grow too.

---

More warring was done, a defence, then a raid upon the Zadkaggog clan. Sorry Ak'gal. That makes forty-four clans slain.

---

I sit here, staring at the brazier closest to our bunks. Ulfgrim is sleeping beside me, Durgin above me. I've been staring at this flame for so long, that when I look back to the paper I can see the burning light in my vision still.

My talk with Ritz and my thoughts over these past few days have led me to understand something. Every moment we spend alive is precious. My legs burn from the pain of my old wounds. Yet, here I am, legs aching, painful tingles shooting up inside of me, and I am happy still.

I have this warm man beside me, and I have my Kin above me. It still baffles me that when I arrived in the Well, I was threatened with exile from my Kin, and here I am now. So close to them, a mere movement of my hand and I can run my fingers through Ulfgrim's mohawk. A hand above and I can poke Durgin's nose. Think Haldar's at Zina's again. Baelerie, probably in a shrub somewhere.

We've all had our moments. Ulfgrim has hated me before, shunning me as his Priest. Durgin had a moment were he snapped when we were all conscripted to the Banda Rossa. We've healed though. We still remain in this moment. I will look at them for a time longer. The burning flames etched into my vision as I stare at the men I love, and smile.

'Those who shall judge you the most are those who have never stood themselves at a place where they themselves would be judged.' - Rowan Ramcrest.

---

I believe that I will wield His flames again, someday. I will be able to withstand the pain of my wounds, physical, mental, and spiritual. I'll lift people again with healing flames.

[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]

[There is an average drawing of four Dwarves and a Hin laughing and sitting together. It contains the somewhat recognizable visages of the Duunthall. Names are etched beneath the drawings of those who still live in their respective positions. 'Haldar', 'Durgin', 'Grenth', 'Ulfgrim', 'Baelerie.' Most have their arms wrapped over each other's shoulders, but Grenth sits in the middle in what appears to be a hug from the others. He's wearing his non-usual helmet in this drawing. It looks like a rusty bucket.]

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 12th, IY 7789

I missed the War Council today. I must have stayed up too late staring at the flames and drifted off into the late hours of the evening.

Haldar caught me up as to the proceedings, at least some things pertaining to the Duunthall. I was staring up at the sky from the Plaza. He told me that Q'tolip himself arrived. What I would have given to speak to the man. He probably has answers to many of the questions that plague my mind. What does he know about divinity, and the trials that Speakers undergo? Could he help my plight?

Haldar told me that Q'tolip said that we were not the cause of the curse at the War Camp. It is something else, something inside of Lake Riyyan. It's what I've been trying to tell people all along. It's good though now that an official of the Tower has put that to rest. I will be glad to move past it. However, there is no denying that we are known to something in the Scald. Something followed us, something knows us. Knows me.

He continued to tell me that Durgin is followed by 'things', and if one listens closely they can hear them. It's likely the spirits of Got Valdhazr. I knew this, Q'tolip said that those who listen closely can hear them. I've heard them many times. They scream out for Vengeance. I've always been more sensitive to the spirits of this world. I think the flame inside me is like a beacon for them. They find the warmth in it that lingers in the cold places they dwell. I want to help them, help them find peace so they may return to the Martyrs' embrace.

I wonder what else happened at the War Council.

---

All of the 'Afflicted' were granted mercy, brought about by the end of an axe. It's a shame, but the Serdar mentioned that no known cure was found. Perhaps it is better to grant them this mercy, than for them to be walking around trapped inside their minds. Tormented and screaming, sleepless nights wandering the quarantined heat of the Scald.

How many Ephians died because of this decision? I will mourn them, and honor their deeds as soldiers, as warriors. Knowing I could not heal them.

---

I've begun my piano lessons again with Khurgal. He's teaching me how to pour my sadness from myself into my work. My music that is, not my warring. Though, I guess I could find ways to channel my sadness into that as well. I was telling Solina when she was writing her essay on the virtues of the people that it's important to 'set the tone'. I think I am decent at the piano, but not as good as I'd like to be.

Maybe though, I'll start to work on a song. I'll have to practice a bit more, and keep receiving lessons from Khurgal. I wonder if he likes meat pies? Maybe I should bring him one?

I've always found music to be beautiful. It can sometimes say things that our words cannot. Convey an emotion to others that you've kept locked up inside for so long.

[There are a few lines of music written out, basic chords of an amateur musician. The melody does seem somewhat sad, but it's not the best quality of work thus far.]

---

The statue of Siegward Eyck was broken by an unfortunate event. I repaired it. It seemed to be important to people I care about. Dudley is the only one who knows I fixed it. Plus, mementos and memorials are a good way to remember someone, or something, that is no longer around. They can resemble an idea, or a movement, and be sources of inspiration. And, to me, that's precious.

It was worth it.

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 13th, IY 7789

I told him I am in love with him.

I took off my helmet, at his request, and listened to everything he said. The heavy truths that I needed to hear. The truths of his past, his history, his life before the Well. His journey to know the Warrior, and the Murderer. Then I told him how I felt...

I'm a fool.

It was foolish of me to think their 'marriage' wasn't real. To think it was a joke. I'm tired of falling in love with men who could never love me back. Why do I torture myself in this way?

I can love things, yes, but it just means I can only fall in love with one thing, one being, one God.

Agaslakku.

I understand now, at least I believe, how Agaslakku feels. Felt? I don't know...

The mind is a fragile thing, mine is breaking, shattering, and falling apart into hundreds of pieces. It won't be much longer until I fully snap. The final twist of the knife that is stuck in my now cold body is drawing closer. I can feel the hand upon it, squeezing, twisting.

The questions are burning as they rattle around my skull. Was that really Him? Was it a Djinn? Am I really being tested? Have I already failed? Will I be able to heal again? Was I wrong? Was I right? Should I turn to another spoke? What will people think of me? What do they think of me? Will they shun me? Will they understand? Will the Agasians ever forgive me if I walk that path? What do I need to do? Where do I go from here?

I've only found one answer so far. The path I walk is my own; it is the Path of the Warrior. It seems I must walk it alone.

Suffer and survive.

Thrive and flourish.

Water Bel-Ishûn.

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 14th, IY 7789

Vilia is dead. She was here before I even came to the Well. Once the bellows went out, she was dead within an hour. A frightening thing, not only that she's apparently a brooker, but how fast one can be brought to justice should the Well demand it.

I'll mourn the woman I thought she was. I'll miss the moments we spent together on the board work. I'll miss the good I saw in her. I'll miss her.

'Snow' was eager to bring about justice for her crimes. I bumped into him and some new people in the Krak today. He speaks very ominously, but that's also what's so fascinating about him. 'Every grain of time is precious.' Every moment we spend in this world can have an impact. Miniscule or grandiose. He was the one who ended Vilia.

'You are required to root out evil if you foresee it, never assume innocence.' - Tenet of the Wroth.

---

Eleo found me today. He came to me as I sat in that sacred place. He spoke to me. It was kind of amazing how he could convey so much enlightenment in only four questions.

"Why do you sit in reflection here?"

"How have you lost your 'spark'?"

"What do you mean to do now?"

"What have you found on your path?"

"You will not know all the details in each battle you face. You will have to act without all the pieces and carry the risks there. Gather your allies, what strength they will lend you, and seek what was taken from you. - Have courage, define what your role in war is."

I will. I will step forward, the Warrior's warm hand on my back as I walk ever onwards. I'll carve my path as a healer, someone who mends the broken, who lifts up those who have fallen, who helps. I'll reforge what was broken.

---

[A hastily scribbled note is on the page.]

Get Rhuk a pretzel, and give him a break.

I found the pretzel, Ritz gave me a few, and now find Rhuk.

He deserves a break.

---

It was nice to speak to Ritz. She's opening a restaurant in Manta's name. It's nice that he will be remembered. The heroes of our Well need to be memorialized and remembered. Manta was a chef, an adventurer, a clerk, and an all-around good man. 'Casa Manta' she calls it. I can't wait to see it when it's ready to be unveiled. I told her I could already imagine the laughter that would echo from within. I know Manta would be proud of how high Ritz has soared now.

So then I wandered the Well, delivering pretzels. I gave one to Snow, and he tried to hide a smile. He even said it was 'alright'. That means they must be really good! To get a somewhat neutral response from a Uzzarii, then he told me to 'Keep one eye open, and to not trust him.' Or, by extension, anyone. It must be a lonely road, that of the Wroth. I commend those who walk it and respect them.

---

Overall though, I find my mood improving. I know the path I must walk, do I know what awaits me in five days? No, not at all. But, I won't be alone, and just knowing that gives me the strength to stand again. I'll reclaim Agaslakku's divine spark, I'll wield his flames again...

For what is broken, mends stronger than ever before.

I'll be whole again, and I'll lift those around me.

I'll take back the Golden Galea of the Proud.

However, something weird did happen to me today. I found the Auld Formorian Coin that the Marishyen gave me. An omen, perhaps.

Flame preserve me.

[CrimsonMedicine]

Nisah 16th, IY 7789

I think I caught some sort of sickness yesterday. I don't think it had anything to do with this 'Plague' I hear people talking about. I had a pretty high fever. Like the flame inside was burning me from within. My muscles were aching and I was sore all over. I could hardly walk. It was some sort of sickness, but from what? It could be a result of not having my powers, or it could be something else entirely.

I still do not feel fully healed, but I'm getting better. Enough to walk around and war if I need to. It was so bad I couldn't even lift my arm and journal properly. I'm thankful that part of my sickness has passed. Ulfgrim kept checking in on me at night. Which was sweet of him. I'll remember that.

---

On the 18th I go to the Scald, to the place where this entity first appeared to me. I'm going to try using my words first to wage war against it. I know that blades did little to harm it. It has me thinking, it told me that I inflict a thousand cuts upon the world with my healing. Maybe I won't have to fight it to be victorious. Maybe all I have to do is heal it? I'm not sure, but it's good to be prepared for the worst.

I must ready myself. I know little about the fight that lies ahead. The constant worrying and wondering about what I might face is something I'm trying not to think about. I will just have to handle things in the moment as they come and prepare...as best I can.

Some have come forth and told me that they will stand by my side during my trial, my 'test of faith' perhaps. I'm grateful for my friends. Those who are willing to risk danger so that I can get my blessings back. It helps bolster my flame to know that people will stand with me.

Are you watching me, Agaslakku?

---

I sit here in the Krak staring into the hearth. I said 'hello' to a few folks and said a prayer for their victory on the board work they were undertaking. Something about heading to the Canyons to deal with the Sibilant.

I can feel the heat rising in me again, my fever is returning, and with it the aches and pains.

I think I'll head back to the Hall and find rest. Time to limp my way back. Tomorrow is a new day, and with it comes the many challenges it brings.

Flame preserve me.