The Book of Big Bash

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Iyar 28th, IY 7789

You'd think Shum would behave himself after disappearing without telling anyone... especially not me... but now he's hiring kids to go to some dangerous tropical island with him! That's no good! Maybe all that time stuck in the Tower made him go stir crazy... though I kind of find his explanation dubious. Personally, I think that the Crone of Dance really did kidnap him, and force him to dance endlessly for months, and the trauma from that was just so horrid that he started lying to himself that it never happened!

Of course, in most cases, ceaseless dancing is simply a joy, and not traumatic in the least... But being forced to do that by a peculiar crone? Simply harrowing!

I want souvenirs from that island, but I'm totally certain that nobody will bring me anything at all, like usual. It stinks! I always bring souvenirs to my friends... except when I forget. That's completely different, because it's not a lack of consideration. I just can't remember everything. And usually, my trips around the desert have so much going on, and folk start yelling at me when I try do so some shopping.

I'm pretty sure we'd have a surplus of apples if folk had simply allowed me to do a little shopping during that trip to Alkab, for one...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 1st, IY 7789

Selwyn has brain bugs, now...? Maybe? Seems like it? Peculiar beams of curious origin shot straight out from his noggin, towards seemingly random people, during the Assembly... Well, maybe they weren't that random. Anyhow, I don't know where Selwyn got those brain spiders from, because I'm pretty sure that you need to inject yourself with a big ol' needle to get them. Why'd they do that? Didn't make much sense when Narwen did that, either...

Maybe I'm misremembering, but I certainly remember some sort of injection being involved!

Anyhow, the Assembly was real long, and it was supposed to be even longer, because Vellum brought in some big ol' board that had a bunch of stuff about merits and such, and the Accord were supposed to list all the good that they had done for the Well. Seems like a school project, or something... At least they do stuff like that at the Sandstone. I think. I just peep inside the classrooms, occasionally. They just let you walk in! They don't even ask what you're studying!

Also, folk keep asking me questions about utterly boring shit! What do I know about accounting...? I'm not an accountant! They can never, like, ask me about the stuff that I'm actually interested in... Like, "what's Alkab like", or "what dyes are imported from Banafsi"... I think it's obvious that I know about stuff like that, instead of dumb, utterly boring, and completely useless numbers...

In general, folk want me to handle everything. And then they get real mad when I tell them that I'm already assigned on something! If you're so interested in the damn thing, why won't you do it yourself? Especially because they all seem to know so much about the utterly dull subject already... I hate this job! All nineteen of my other jobs are far more pleasant!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 2nd, IY 7789

Blame.

Don't really know where to direct it. Piled it upon myself, at first. Felt like simply disappearing into the night without a trace, after I saw what they did to that tree.

Not a tree. Not a tower, either...

Stupid fucking vagueries, really. All of this is surrounded by those.

Don't know if it's part of the cycle. Feels like it is. Would fit, really. Make someone's attempts at breaking out an integral part. Never let go.

Endless.

Don't know how many of them are actually going against the grain, or think that they are.

Don't know which spoke they represent.

Don't know shit, really.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 3rd, IY 7789

Horton, and his big ol' hog, are back in town! He said that he was "sacked"... and I think I know the truth about that! He really does mean that he was put in a big ol' sack... because that's the sort of thing that happens to him. It's just the same thing as with Shum... being kidnapped is just so harrowing, that you start lying about it to yourself. I know, because I've been kidnapped about fifty times. That is not the exact amount, because the truth, again, is just so harrowing.

Also, he was also metaphorically sacked, because they really did fire him, because he was gone for so long. Also, also, he helped me with my latest design! It's very Banafsian! Also, also, also, Cork is jealous of his big ol' hog. Also.

ANAMNESIS!

I told you already, I'm not calling it that! I don't even know what that means! Nobody does... other than you... I'm going to call it... "Lovebird"! Or... "Lovebug"! Wait, no, mentioning bugs is just gross, no matter what the context...

ANAMNESIS! ANAMNESIS! ANAMNESIS!

Fine, I'll consider calling my next piece that! As long as you explain what it actually means!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 4th, IY 7789

I learned something new about Selwyn, today... They're a shaman! Well, they carry a lot of totems around, anyhow, apparently, for some reason. I think carrying totems around is a sure sign that you're a shaman, though, so, they just are that to me, now. A star shaman! Then again, I don't really want them to be a shaman, because they do a lot of drugs, and I'm pretty sure that Selwyn can't even handle coffee, so, yeah, maybe they should just stick to being... a card... magickian. I don't really know what Selwyn does? Like, for magick? They throw cards around, that much I do know.

Also, Zol Nur got mad at me, because I had heard some outdated rumors about him having a ton of water, so I told folk not to give him any for free, because that's just greedy, well, it would be greedy if he actually had as much water as folk were talking about... I'm still not sure if I believe him, though, he kind of just lies occasionally? He just does it in that annoying half-truthy sort of way. That's no good! So, he really shouldn't be so mad at me, if I have trust issues towards him... I'll still try to respect his water needs, because I'm a real nice guy.

Oh, and that Mr. Quigsby? A total tosser! He got mad at me because I'm too busy to help him with his card tournament! I'm already tied to the Fashion Show, and the Bloodsands, too... I can't do everything... Why do folk always ask me about everything, and then get real mad about it, when I'm just so busy? It's not fair...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Hziran 5th, IY 7789

Selwyn and Cork are having relationship issues, again... Lately, all they seem to do is just fight, fight, and fight, and then they make up, and then it begins all over again! I don't really know what the exact reason for that is, because they used to be such good buddies, before. Maybe they're just a really dramatic couple! Who knows... I do wish that they'd just go back to how things were. It's no fun seeing them be sad and sour about it!

Maybe the local matchmakers should also offer counseling in such cases... but bringing money into love and friendship is no good!

Anyhow, I finally finished the adjustments that Alice had paid for, a long, long, long time ago. It's just that whenever we run into each other, we're usually both real busy! But now, the horrid counterfeit toga that Dogretti had bought for her from Spokes knows where... is a most stylish tabard! So, some good truly can come from really bad things. Or something. I'm not really waxing poetic today... Oh, and I also did some chromawork on Nigel's robe! Well, I dyed it. I'm not sure if "chromawork" will catch on. Not one of my best...