The Journal of Bashir Khatara

Started by Fabulous Secret Powers, July 05, 2023, 07:02:29 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Fabulous Secret Powers

Tesrin Hray 26th, IY 7788


Kha'esh comes knocking, and with a flourish... Usually only see so many shirtless men on the weekends. I guess it's just sensible, having a big ol' party before you march to your death. Should probably be doing that, myself, but... I don't really feel like dancing. Feel like grabbing my stuff and running, yet I know that there's nowhere to go.

Especially not there. Did entertain the notion of dressing up like one of these mercenary bands, but only because my desperation was clouding my judgement... Their destination is probably a fate worse than whatever's planned for me. And, well... I don't really have a mercenary's mien.

Can't even talk about baking with Manta without it being interrupted. He can be a bit pushy... I don't design menus. I know nothing about that. Why would I...? If you actually let me decide, it'd just be pistachio, and nothing but, and everyone'd whine about it. Interruption forced me to write letters, letters that they'll use to kill me. But if I wouldn't write them, then they'd use that, instead.

I can't do much.




Fabulous Secret Powers

Tesrin Hray 27th, IY 7788


Already making their moves. About as subtle as a brick. Less so. Maybe that's the point. Ever oh-so incompetent. Superstitious fucking idiots. They'll have their sacrificial goat, but it won't help them any. Don't know if I'm riot-worthy. Probably not, not to the locals, at least.

Make one mistake and half the town hates you, and the rest pretend that it's no big a deal and tell you to calm down. Sure, I'll calm down when folk are building a bonfire around me. Fuck you.

None of it mattered. None of the labor, none of the feigned smiles, none of it. One mistake. That's all that it takes. I keep living that evening over and over again in my mind, desperate to go back and change it. Childish.

But I'm desperate.

Tomorrow's the fashion show. It'll be the last one that I attend.




Fabulous Secret Powers

Tesrin Hray 28th, IY 7788


What a busy day...

The fashion show went well. I think I achieved a new personal best, score-wise. And well, it just might be my best design, in general. I sure hope so. I want to return to bringing smiles, even if for however short I've left. As for the other fashionistas... I really liked Selwyn's asymmetrical design. They need to work on color, a little more, next time... Others, on the other hand, need to work on that a lot. Contrast is so important. You can't just have one color, and that's it! Well, you can, but it's so boring and unstylish...

Also, Jaecop brought in a piece made out of slug ooze, or something...? It was one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen. He'd be a perfectly ordinary guy, if it weren't for his obsession with slugs. It's so weird.

Then, I volunteered to be one of the witnesses for the mock trial. I became "Sloppy Sam", the ash pirate! I think I do a pretty convincing pirate. I think. Maybe I could become a cabin boy...? Sounds awful. Anyhow, I didn't have much time at the trial, before Manta was screaming for my help with his big ol' cake. Turns out that baking a cake involves a lot of improv...? It didn't make much sense to me. I just kept making frosting flowers, and making them, and making them, until there was about a badjillion gadjillion of them. Then he tells me that they were supposed to be purple...? Or the layer was supposed to be purple...? But I was told to make flowers, not layers...

Anyhow, I think I made the prettiest frosted frangipanis ever! They were delicious, too... Even though I only had one slice of cake! Cake should be had in moderation!

Still seen fit enough to stand aside the Majordomo... Confusing. They don't care, or do news really reach up top so slowly...? Still useful enough of a tool? Just the Fourth being the Fourth? Are they just going to embarass themselves, again? Half the town doesn't even seem to give a shit, so, why exactly are they preparing a trial...? Is it just incompetence, or pure madness? Did I misunderstand what they were talking about...?




Fabulous Secret Powers

Tesrin Hray 29th, IY 7788


A jaunt to Frostport... I wish I could just stay there. I'd get one of those shaggy ponies... No, I'd get a shaggy unicorn! And then I'd just ride all around the tundra, all day long! And then, I'd return to my log cabin in the evening, where my handsome husband would be waiting, before a toasty fireplace... and some toast, with cloudberry jam!

Well, it's nice to dream... In actuality, the only way I'd get to stay would be if I was assigned to that whiny Ambassador, and there would be no tundra, just a frozen wasteland full of snow ogres or whatever, and I'd just have a stinky ox for a friend, instead of an unicorn... And then the town would probably blow up because of an Astronomer's stupid experiment. Something like that, anyhow. Reality stinks!

I don't know if I can distract myself with dreams and such, this time... I've been doing that all my life, though, so maybe. It just gets more and more challenging. Yet it's comforting... And dreams aren't really lies, because you can make them the truth, if you keep striving for them!

But I guess lies are like that, too... Are lies just bad dreams?

Doesn't really matter... I'd just rather think about anything else than the situation I'm in.




Fabulous Secret Powers

Tesrin Hray 30th, IY 7788


Kate brought me some odd leather to take a gander at... I had never seen such a thing! I've no clue what animal it came from... I touched the leather, leather, and it felt like it would have real good insulation! She should keep it away from any and all squirrels, or they'll steal it for nesting material. Although... Sleeping squirrels on the insulating leather... What a cute sight!

I don't like working with leather, leather, much, though. I vastly prefer textiles! Right now, I'm trying to develop a dye that's simply perfect for wild silk... Which is real hard, because I don't know anything about alchemy.

Also, I met one of Narwen's siblings... Her name is Kedra, and she's very curious about everything. Like ballet! I almost became a world-class ballet dancer, but pirouettes made me dizzy... So, it was another career that I had to give up on. Now, Kedra would very much like to see some ballet, but good luck with that! There's a dire dearth of culture, here... Anyhow, she brought two of her siblings with her. I think their names are Melon and Itchy Reed. Something like that, anyhow!




Fabulous Secret Powers

Kanön Hray 1st, IY 7788


Jaecop and Ekmel are both crazy! They're going to march through the Scald in support of Carrot! We finally get some competent and seemingly sane Scribes, and in the end, it turns out to be just a facade... I guess Jaecop's obsession with slugs should've hinted me of such! There's no hope of either of them coming back! In the Scald, your very blood boils, and probably takes on the consistency of tomato soup...

I can't even consider such heroics, because I'd probably keel over in less than an hour due to such horrid conditions...

Anyhow, Narwen taught Kedra about Yllaris. His statue is a big ol' mystery. Where does all that water come from...? Well, maybe it has some mundane explanation, like some Scribe of some office I've never heard of dumping water there, every morning, due to some tradition nobody remembers the origins of. I don't hang around there much, because it stinks of camel doo-doo! I like the groknaks, though... So, I kind of just have to deal with the foul stench, if I want to see them.

These new Spring Elves don't seem to like Narwen, much! I don't know why! I think family should stick together... Unless it's a terrible one, and any family with Narwen in it seems the opposite to me...?

Also... I'm so petite, now, that the wind keeps carrying me into strange places! Even the mildest of drafts is powerful enough... The breeze from the curtains lifted me over Jaecop's head, and tossed me from his left to his right! I don't know how to guard myself from the wind's assault! It's awful!




Fabulous Secret Powers

Kanön Hray 2nd, IY 7788


Apparently, someone went and torched some of the refugee tents, outside the Gate of Sand...? Just out right murdered a few of them, too. It's absolutely horrible. People are saying that it was the Kha'eshi... Now, I know that mercenaries are a rowdy bunch, but would they really risk doing something so stupid...? Even if they were drunk? Then there's all the evidence... It's a little too good? I don't know what to think. Sometimes the simplest explanation is the truth, but... I just don't know.

Also... Some elf bought "Strawberry Bisquit", dyed it brown and renamed it to "Caramel Biscuit"! Not only is that highly disrespectful of Strawberry Biscuit's memory, it's also completely disrespectful of me as an artiste! It got me so mad... I simply had to yell about it on the bellows. I worked so hard on that outfit, and somebody just goes and does that... So uncouth! Admittedly, I think I allowed myself to get so mad about it, because it's just a simple thing, borne out of bad taste, and I wanted to yell about something. I'd yell about the refugees, too, but what would that help...? And if I were to show how I really feel, it'd just be a few minutes of non-stop screaming, and I don't think anyone wants to hear that.

Apparently some folk are now starting some kind of community outreach to help the refugees...? That's good. I'd help, but I'm absolutely swamped in paperwork. And, well... Everytime I try to help, especially lately, it kind of just ends up making things worse.




Fabulous Secret Powers

Kanön Hray 3rd, IY 7788


Selwyn seems to be shrinking...? They fit right into Manta's bag, now. I hope it stops eventually, so that they won't become the size of a mouse. Selwyn seemed real excited about that prospect, though... Personally, I would never want to be so tiny. Well, unless I lived in a neighborhood of chore mice? That'd be fine. I'm not sure if they would let Tonka live there, too, though.

At least I won't have any trouble with tiny things now, because I bought a magnifying lens from Ekmel. It was real moldy, though. It came from that spooky pirate island that people go on vacation to for some reason...? So gross, but I dumped it in some vinegar, and then some citric acid, and now it's spotless! Well, it has a spot for the lens, I guess... Anyhow, it already came useful. I checked my flowers for aphids with it! There were none of those pesky pests!

Oh, and I was so worried, this eve! I thought that Magnifica had laid an egg. Never mind where she would've found a rooster... Anyhow, she was just sitting on a ball of yarn! She's not giving it back. Thankfully I have plenty of yarn, and well, that yarn wasn't particularly fancy. She's such a prissy lady, that you'd think that she'd want one of my ritzy hanks, instead... But I guess those aren't great for sitting?




Fabulous Secret Powers

Kanön Hray 4th, IY 7788


Richo took us to Tlonsiyya... Apparently, the road there had been open for quite a while! How embarassing! But nobody tells me much, these days... I didn't even know about Dölgöön breaking up with his boyfriend, until the 2nd of this month... And they broke up on the 1st! That's far too late for gossip! It's basically sour milk, at this point... Who cares? That vamp goes through men like I go through handkerchiefs... And it gives me a bad reputation, because he kind of looks like me! Supposedly. I don't see the resemblance, really...

I don't want a hussy's reputation, because I'm no longer one!

Anyhow, not much going in Tlonsiyya. Not much for sale, either. I think Baz'eeli influence on the town might be slipping...? Makes sense. It's not good. In fact, it's real bad. I didn't meet any familiar faces, either! Vice-Chancellor must be real busy. I wouldn't want "vice" in my title, personally, for obvious reasons. Fits Dölgöön better... I need to think less of him! What a pest! What else...? Oh, the port was closed, too. I kind of wanted to rent one of their boats and go on a jolly holiday 'pon the Edutu. It would've been simply grand!




Fabulous Secret Powers

Kanön Hray 5th, IY 7788


Selwyn gifted Richo a book... It's all about proper puppers! What a grand gift! We had such a great time, reading through it. There's a lot of drawings, and some of those pooches are way bigger than me! My ancestors used to ride big ol' hounds into battle... A menacing sight, to be certain! If I had such a dog, though, I'd ride them into adventure, instead... with Tonka atop my shoulder, of course!

Melon wanted to peruse my stylish attires. But I only had some unfinished pieces and Divan outfits at the studio! Kind of embarassing... Most of my finished designs go to Angelica's. I should probably have a few representable samples of my work laying about. I do have my personal outfits, but I'm not selling those. Not that anyone could wear shorts as well as me, anyhow!

She and her kinband seem a bit grumpy. They really don't like it if you make a mistake about their names, no matter how small. They also don't like nicknames. I don't get people like that...? Getting a nice nickname is one of the greatest gifts that you can get! I fully embrace being "Big Bash"!




Fabulous Secret Powers

Kanön Hray 6th, IY 7788


Redecorating around the office... Mostly just putting up boards regarding the labor, though. I wish I could find fancier ones. They'd look far nicer, and capture the attention of any Junior Scribe! Well, I'd hope so, anyhow... Some people just don't read, at all! And they're not even illiterate!

I want some planters in there, but nobody's telling me where they got theirs!

Oh, and today was the Changing of Hands... It's a Waradim holiday, where you exchange gifts with others! It was great fun... I gave Narwen a powerful Wajeebi relic... Tasty food to Richo... A powerful blackberry brew to Dervish Bajica... A bijou full of stars to a Seris, a new refugee... I forget the rest! I love giving gifts! I just wish I had prepared more... But I'm always so busy, and there's always something going on, except when there isn't, and then I take naps, and I can't plan while I'm doing that, so...

There was also an exchange of tales! Richo's had an important lesson, as always! Don't carry around too much wealth! Seris told a tale, too, but I didn't really get it...? Maybe I needed more context?

After, we visited the Spring. Well, me, Richo and Narwen did, anyhow. We checked on Richo's bees, who were thankfully thriving in their new home... and I bought some more blackberry brew. Narwen was looking around for a tree seed...? I wish I could find seeds for lemon trees, myself! I go through so much citric acid, so, having my own tree to source it, would save me a Lot of Money.




Fabulous Secret Powers

Kanön Hray 7th, IY 7788


Selwyn was talking about the different kinds of love. For some reason, they think that one of them, the one between close friends and family, involves plates! They said that it really doesn't, but it has plates in the name...? I think that's dumb. I think fancy names for lovely things like love is dumb, too. You should give stuffs and things simple names, so that everyone can understand the intent. Academicks are so dumb and pretentious!

I spent so much time just sitting next to the voting booth, that my legs fell asleep... and so did I! Well, for a few minutes, thankfully. I think so, anyhow. There weren't a whole lot of people coming in. Some people keep saving their vote until the last moment, so that they can get a lot of bribes and promises. I think that's so boring. I just vote at the very first moment! Then I don't have to wait around for anything. Waiting around stinks!

Other than that, it was a real dull day. Well, sitting around like that was dull. I also missed a tortoise, too, which is so disappointing! Oh, I don't know if it was around today, but it certainly was around on the 6th! I wish I could've seen the tortoise turist...




Fabulous Secret Powers

Kanön Hray 8th, IY 7788


Every year, hundreds of Wellfolk die in chair-related accidents! It's horrible... Some of these accidents are caused by stupidity, some by shoddy craftmanship, and some of them involve a nasty ruffian just breaking a chair over your noggin! Which, strictly speaking, isn't an accident, no matter what the Banda say. But sometimes you have to fill in a few forms with "accident", anyhow, because a sharpened knife is a mighty tool of persuasion.

My chairs are all cushioned, though, so I've reduced that risk. Manta, on the other hand, is real clumsy, and almost died, today, due to falling on his big ol' chair. Well, it's not his chair, but he sits on it a lot. They should cushion it properly, just in case, because of his utterly clumsy nature! I thought about broadening my business by getting into pillowcraft, but... I don't like plucking feathers, and waiting for them to molt takes ages.

Was there an Age of Feathers...? Probably. Sounds like a nice Age, anyhow. I'd live in it. Probably. And not just because of all the strapping lads clad in those feathery loincloths!




Fabulous Secret Powers

Kanön Hray 9th, IY 7788


Richo has a new rock friend... This one's head is on fire? They don't seem to mind? You'd think that'd be a miserable experience, but they seem like a real jolly fellow, judging by their gay gait! They're really strong, and they're going to be helping Richo clear up all that rubble around the Rest. Richo certainly makes a lot of friends, and quickly! I wish I had someone strong to carry my shipments to the studio... Being handsome would be a plus, too.

The Tenth Legion carried that big ol' cannon over to Yataghan's camp. It's so big, that it's colossal. They call it "Kusatma"! I asked what that means, but they really didn't want me to know. Maybe it's something really rude...? Wouldn't be the first time soldiers give a weapon a really lewd name. Or maybe it's something truly astonishing... Something that changes how you look at everything. Or, at the very least, how you look at cannons?

KUSATMA! KUSATMA! BASU BISU BIASU! BASU!

Stop that! Why do you keep doing that, anyhow?

MINE THOUGHT PATTERNS ARE OCCUPIED WITH SUCH CAPRICES, DURING THIS NEOTERIC STAGE OF THE SPATIO-TEMPORAL PLANE. WERE YOUR SENSES NOT SO IMPOTENT, YOU WOULD BE HEEDFUL OF THIS!

I'm not impotent!




Fabulous Secret Powers

Kanön Hray 10th, IY 7788


There's a certain art to making elections as exciting as possible... So, when you hear that the race is really close, you kind of get this urge to make it even closer! Well, I do, anyhow. I love me some drama! As long as it doesn't affect myself, of course. So, I started making a whole lot of noise, to get as many laggards as possible to hurry up with their votes! What fun! Though my throat got a little sore from all that hooting and hollering...

The problem? It got too close! In fact, it was a straight tie, multiple times in a row... And you don't want a tie! When it comes to elections, ties cause riots, and a whole bunch of other nasty stuff... The type of drama that I don't like! So, you put your ear to the grapevine, and try to figure out who hasn't voted, while dodging graffiti "artists", folks with weak fingers, water that's on fire, and crowds that are vigorously getting down with their bad selves to the tune of that Baz'eel Jazz'eel!


────────────────────

Turns out that the missing voter was Marcellus! With him, it's hard to tell if he just forgot or if it was some cunning plan... Doesn't matter much, in the end, but I knew that we had to get him to vote, somehow. So, I hired Manta to make a delicious burger, with plenty of cheese, and cloudberry sauce, meant as charity for his vote! For a while, it seemed that even that wasn't enough, and that I would be eating that tasty burger myself... But he did turn up to the voting booth, in the end. Grand!

And, well... He probably did end the tie. Maybe it was someone else. Lots of Voices bought, at the very last moment. Deciding vote could've been anyone! So, who knows... What I do know, is that ending that tie meant that Argent won! I was rooting for Ash... What a shame!


────────────────────

And of course, after the election, and because the Balladeers are a bunch of whiny babies, they come to me, and demand that I leak some guy's vote to them. I don't know why people think that I'd do that...? I mean, it'd ruin my career, so it'd be a real dumb move. And even if it didn't, it'd basically equate to painting a target on someone's back... Democratic integrity, too. That's real important!

And if I answer just one stupid request like that, then I'd get a deluge of such demands at my door, every fucking day! I don't want that! People ask me a bunch of stupid shit, already! Like what twenty meters of hemp rope from Alkab costs, midmonth of Tabbah, if Il Modo is closer to Alkab than it is to Qadira, and the Akhund's sermons that week were particularly fervorous...?

THE ANSWER IS THAT I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!