The Journal of Bashir Khatara

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 11th, IY 7788

Ahmet won the election! What a surprise! Seems like he got all of the Accord on his side... Reminds me of Domhnall's scheming promises... Hopefully he didn't promise too much, and hopefully that's one of the few similarities that they share. I don't want another crazy boss! I've had enough of those!

Selwyn played an impromptu game of Efuddy with me... The word was "Bashy"! I wasn't able to guess it. It's kind of a new nickname... Everyone else calls me Bash, Big Bash, Bashi, or a bitch, so, I probably could've guessed those rather easily! Also, Selwyn tried shaking hands with me... I don't like that! I don't like shaking hands with closer friends, even... Even hugs need time. I don't trust folk to keep their hands to themselves... I hope they weren't offended! It's not them, it's me and decades of trauma!

Shaking hands is real weird in general, though. Cultures that hug and kiss instead have it right! But I guess that'd be even harder with strangers...

Anyhow... Whenever there's a new Legate, we have to familiarize them with a ton of stuffs and things. Thankfully, Ahmet seems like a fast learner. I hate repeating myself, and I didn't have to do that a single time!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 12th, IY 7788

Today mostly just involved showing Ahmet the Divan, and familiarizing him with the War Council a little. The Terrace certainly wows a lot of folk when they first see it, for understandable reasons! Surely one of my favorite places around here... I wish I got to visit more, well, I mean properly, I take papers to the Divan daily, but to the Majordomo and the Princesses...? Relatively rarely. I like the garden... I took a nap there once... not by choice... and surprisingly, nobody cared. Maybe they just didn't notice me due to my petite frame?

I did take a lot of naps in the Divan, too, when staying home was too dangerous... Gave me a lot of strange dreams, due to all the shaking and trembling.

As for the War Council, I'll probably have to give up my seat to someone else. Being the DCS is just so much work, and logistics involves a lot of numbers. And since as DCS, I work with logistics, and on the War Council, I also work with logistics, I have to cut down something so that I can work with a toleratable amount of numbers! That sort of thought involves numbers, too, it seems... I hate it!

Anyhow, I hope that I can still continue being the correspondent to the Princesses, though. Very few numbers involved, and I still get to hear all the juicy gossip and such! It's a wonderful position... For some reason, people don't really share much with me lately, unless they want it to spread around the Well...? I don't share the top secrets, only the bottom secrets, the ones that are simply intriguing, but don't endanger the Well, or the desert as a whole, if they're shared!

They also seem to think that it isn't completely and utterly obvious that they want just that... Which is where I want them, myself. Being seen as the ditz makes things far easier!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 13th, IY 7788

Apparently, Jamileh's moving...? I think. I thought that she was living with the Torchbearers, or in that room at the fore of the upper corridor in the Krak, but the latter belongs to Dante, I think. I don't know why she's moving...? Did the Torchbearers and her have a big ol' fight...? I wouldn't be surprised, everyone involved with such would have quite a volatile personality. With the exception of Eclair, I suppose... She's just a little strange.

Triffi's back in the Well. It's a little awkward, because she seems to have realized that I don't take well to relationships that simply assume an element of friendship from the get-go...? It's the assumption, really, some friendships can start real quickly, like the one I have with Richo! But that's just how everything with Richo is... fast! Anyhow, I don't really know what to say to her. I don't know what to say to a lot of folk that assume that I'm their friend...? It's just so awkward.

Some of the fan letters that I get...? Even they make such assumptions! Either calling me their friend, or themselves my best friend, or both... It's all so awkward and strange. I kind of just thank them for liking my books or my latest designs...? Oh, yeah. I have to categorize my fans, now, so I don't confuse what they like. Some like my books, some like the fashion, some like both, some just have the hots for me...? Thankfully, Inky helps, because they love organizing paper.

ALL MUST BE COMMITTED TO THE ETERNAL MEMORY, AND WITH AN ORGANIZED PROCEDURE. THE PECULIAR INTERCONNECTIONS BETWEEN PERSONAGES REVEAL MUCH ABOUT THEIR NATURE. MANY MALES CRAVE BASHIR OF KHATARA WITH A MOST INCULT TENOR, DUE TO THE RAW AND UNREFINED SENSUALITY CONTAINED WITHIN YOUR AESTHETIC QUALITIES. LIKE A GEMSTONE UNCUT, YET CHIPPED.

Oh, shut up!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 14th, IY 7788

BARK.

STONE.

SILVER.

STAR.

THESE ARE OF THE AGES.

Oh, don't you start doing that, too! I've had enough mystical... mysticism... to last a lifetime!

They kidnapped me! Shot a sleeping dart right into my neck... Then absconded with my petite form, and threw me on an ash sail! Wanted me to take notes about the Titan's recovery! Why can't someone else do that...? I don't want to be anywhere near highly aggressive constructs that are a thousand times bigger than me! Thankfully the thing didn't wake up... If it had, I would've ran far out into the dunes, and prayed to Warad to guide me!

It wasn't all bad, though... There were plenty of cute little critters abound, and foliage, and such! Apparently, that's what these Titans bleed...? Nature? I don't really get it... Well, I kind of get it, I think. Also, there was a big ol' peacock, running about! So, I chased him around for a bit. I named him Pearis. He had been there long enough to molt a few feathers? So, I gathered a big ol' pile of them. I've a few ideas for such beautiful plumage! I miss Pearis, though.

And then... when the Titan was being lifted high above... we were surrounded by strange mists! And fell into a deep sleep... and dreamt a dream of curious portents! At first, I thought it was just the sleeping dart, messing with my mind, but everyone else had the same dream! And in that dream, I saw...

...a tree that wasn't a tree!

...a face that wasn't a face!

...a mask that wasn't a mask!

I suppose that doesn't make much sense, but it's dream logic, so, it only makes sense within the dream...?  Who knows. I'm not a dreamologist. What I do know, is that I don't ever want to have such horrid dreams, ever again! I want to have pleasant dreams... Like the one where I just ride an unicorn across a big ol' rainbow. That's all that happens, and it's simply grand!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 15th, IY 7788

What an annoying Allotment! When everybody gets to ask for money, it just turns into another Assembly... And then they have the gall to complain that there's no Scribes on the floor, immediately! I always make announcements regarding the happenings first, and this was the first time that there's ever been complaints regarding that! But if you don't make at least ten bellows, some folk will complain that they had no idea that something was happening... They'll do that, anyhow, but might as well try to reduce the number of such dinguses!

Some student from the Sandstone asked for a loan of ten thousand to buy an entire alley... First of all, alleys cost way more than that, unless it's like, the tiniest, shittiest alley to ever alley! Second of all... How's a student supposed to pay back? They make no money. Unless they sell drugs! Third... there was no talk of interest! If there truly was to be no interest, then that'd effectively be the same as just giving them the alley, because it belongs to the state, so, transfering all that money around would be completely meaningless...?

Also, Azimi spoke about hypersomething. I think my doctor, Vijaya Bollimunta, said that I have bouts of that, well, I thought so, but apparently this time, it's related to money...? I wasn't really paying attention, I think finances are real boring, unless they bring a lot of money to the treasury, because that means that folk can have nice things. I think this hypersomething means that folk can have less nice things for the same amount of money...? Maybe. Again, it's real difficult, and dull. That's awful, though. Folk should get plenty of nice things!

At least me and my colleagues got paid! That's great! Slightly less great if the hypersomething is real...?

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 16th, IY 7788

Jamileh dyed her backpack with a most horrid pink! Most of the time, I approve of pink, but it was simply too much, and clashed with her outfit to such an extent that even the blind would shoot judgmental glares at the eyesore! So, I volunteered to help her a little, to steer her onto the path of righteous fashion! Yet she kept suggesting further crimes against color coordination... In the end, she agreed to a light brown, with ochre detailing. The day was saved!

Then there was a War Council meeting up on the Divan... It really made me realize that despite not knowing a whole lot, I still know just a little more than most! Well, regarding some things, at least... I kind of wish I didn't, though. Ignorance is bliss! At least sometimes... There's a careful balance to knowing about the right things, and not knowing about the nightmarish stuff that keeps you up at night.

They're building a big ol' cannon... I kind of don't understand why some were opposed to it...? Can't win a war without a big ol' cannon or two! Well, maybe in the past, but as the Wheel turns, so does the exacerbation of violence! Which is horrible, but what are you going to do about it...? Not much, since people are kind of fucked up.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 17th, IY 7788

Az-Rans the Choker was such a menace, choking everything and everyone he could get his disgusting hands around... including my poor goat friends! They have it hard enough already... Thankfully, the Choker choked himself, for some reason. It was real weird. He's dead now! Hooray!

Oh! I've considered a choker for myself, but my androgyny is a most deliberated harmony, where going too much in one direction or the other will ruin it! So, no choker for me... Unless I go lighter on the kohl. That works!

Anyhow, the menace of the Choker was soon replaced by the Scorpion, however... Barfa the Scorpion! What a truly disgusting orc he was... Somehow even worse... Anyhow, I went along with the raiding party, just to make sure that everyone would be okay, especially my goat friends! But it all went awry, when a Titan stomped into the orcan fortress! It also stomped on a bunch of people... It was horrible! I kept far away from that horrid creature! I'm not going anywhere near them, because I don't want to be a pancake, I just want to eat them!

That Titan kept chasing folk around until it seemingly saw something, and wandered off... Where did it go?

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 18th, IY 7788

I haven't slept... I can't. Bought a bottle, but I just ended up giving it to a wounded Janissary. Maybe it'll hold off the pain, if even for a moment.

Not mine, though. I'm paralyzed, by the anxiety, by my own stupidity. Just following orders isn't an excuse... neither is ignorance. Especially when I really should know better.

Are the gates of Baz'eel open...? I don't even know if I care anymore. I'm too deep into this. Like a rat escaping the flood... Yet it just keeps rising, and rising. Hop on whatever makeshift raft there is, and you simply find out that the stream only goes in one direction.

I don't know if there were any other choices. It doesn't matter. I would still shoulder the blame.

And then...

I let them in. What's wrong with a little hospitability in times like these...? Everything, seemingly.

The doors are closed for a reason. I've learned little in the past year or so... Still a refugee, still an idiot, still the ditz... Even if I exaggerate it. In the end, you can only emphasize what is already there.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 19th, IY 7788

They did a ton of renovations atop the Divan! Now, it looks absolutely fabulous... Magnificent carpets, piled from silk, infused with the finest crimson dyes, purified from any imperfections... and I'm pretty sure that the accents are actual gold! The sofas are so comfy, that I nearly fell asleep when trying them out! And I mean... I might end up sleeping there, anyhow, might as well get some benefit from the job while I can... I'm pretty sure that yesterday was my last mistake... At least careerwise!

None of the other refugees seem to care, though... All the locals call me an idiot, though! Not to my face, though... At least not yet. Word still hasn't spread enough. I'm kind of petrified, still... I kind of have a feeling that they're going to hang me for this... Or assign me to camel statistics for the rest of my natural life!

Anyhow, the Divan also has a hammam, now. It has really strict rules... Understandably so! Some refugees, whom come from cultures without them...? They have no respect for the hammam! The only ones that should do buffoneeries, tomfooleries, or gaieties of any sort in a hammam, are the hammam fairies! Not that I'm going to let any of them in there... I'm kind of wary about guests, now. To such an extent that when my neighbor knocked on my door this morning, I nearly jumped into the ceiling... I'm just that paranoid!

She just wanted to know if I'd like some pistachios from the Souk... What a kindly ol' granny!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 20th, IY 7788

Seems like Eclair truly did leave! I thought that folk were just exaggerating... But she's completely gone! She didn't even leave a letter! That's so rude! If I left on a journey into the unknown, I'd always leave a letter, no matter what! Well... maybe certain circumstances would make that difficult... Like if my travels took me to the clouds. I should probably have a homing pigeon, just for such occasions! I do have Magnifica, but... she's too fat.

Because she doesn't have an address, I can't even send her a letter, complaining about the lack of one. It stinks!

I have so many good memories about her! Like all the times when her cousins came for a visit... I still don't know why they were gnomes...? Is Eclair a one-sixteenth-gnome? Anyhow, they were really peculiar... like most gnomes... That's probably why Eclair is particularly peculiar for a human! Yeah! That makes perfect sense!

And then there was that time when she destroyed my couch, by kicking it with righteous fervor, moldering it into a pile of dust! She did that because she thought that it was evil... Sure, evil furniture exists, like those chairs shaped like hands that feel like a giant is fondling your bum, but my couch was perfectly ordinary, and incapable of any moral wrongdoing!

There was also that time when she was tiny as a mouse... And that time when she really wanted some wajeebs for a gift, and insisted that it was the best present ever... And then, that one time, when we started a fashion trend, and everyone in the Well had parasols! And then, once, she was really scared of monkeys... and children... and the circus... and rainbows? Wait, that wasn't just one time, it was all the time, which is a lot of time!

She better come back as an accomplished explorer, one day, or I'll get real mad! I won't really be able to do anything about that, other than write letters that I'll immediately trash... I do that a lot when I'm frustrated.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 21st, IY 7788

A lot of folk around here know nothing about soap! They don't want anything to do with it... They never wash! And it isn't even due to some druidic oath, or something, they're just deeply unhygienic slobs! They have no excuse, because soap isn't even that expensive. Each batch of ghar makes probably a thousand bars, at least! Most likely more... If you have to be lazy, at least wash yourself with some ose dudu once a week! It's so strong, that at least you'll have a modicum of cleanliness...

Some Nadiri is a hobgob, now! It's due to some kind of magickal mishap, maybe related to their bloodline...? So, their grandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandbaba was a hobgob...? Or entered a pact with a particularly powerful hobgob...? Or was cursed by a hobgob witch...? Perhaps for revealing the hobgob secret, which is the location of Mount Prism...? Well, there's a lot of possibilities, but what truly matters in the now, is that folk want to kill him... now. It's horrible, because despite their hobgobby appearance, their mind has none of that hobgobbiness, they're just kind of depressed. Understandably so! Hobgobs are hideous!

I suggested that he wear a thick veil, and apply some kohl around the eyes. Then he'd just look like the average human grandpa. But nobody was even considering my genius plan! Instead, it's all about rituals, and stars, and other stuffs and things that I don't really get at all. Sometimes the simplest solution is the best! Could at least try the veil for a while, before you cross over into all that convoluted stuff. Couldn't hurt!

I also don't charge that much for veils if they're not bridal!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 22nd, IY 7788

I checked, double-checked and triple-checked some old files...

Most of it is interconnected.

Felt like I was seeing something that wasn't there, at first... But it's all there. All of it.

And that realization opened the flood gates. This isn't something that anyone should know. None of it. I felt like screaming. I almost did.

Wish it wasn't me. Not cruel enough to wish it on someone else.

It has to end, but I don't know how to make that happen.

I don't even know if that's in the cards.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 23rd, IY 7788

Just trying to stay busy, keep going, business as usual. Not the easiest thing, but thankfully, I'm very familiar with the approach, already. Knit, sew, weave. Plenty of folk need socks and scarves. There's a joy to it all, seeing the finished labor in their hands. The smiles, the compliments. If only that was all there was to it.

I do need to ask questions regarding it. Admittedly part of it is to sate my own curiosity, as morbid as it all is. Yet if it wasn't related to work...? It would be one of the only times I'd just ignore my own nosiness...

Wish I'd just been a tailor from the start... But I didn't really get to choose the road.

Scribal work's either pleasant, or horrid shit. I like my colleagues, even if for all of their quirks. I hate many of the petitioners... Always so insistent on it being me, when there are so many others that could help them. Isn't just the amount of work, it's also the fact that they'd get better results if they believed my recommendations, and approached someone who's an actual expert on the subject. What the fuck do I know about taxes, or the law...?

Wish folk would understand that there's a literal fucking war going on, and that has all of us busy. But no, everything has to happen immediately. Explaining why that's not possible is pointless. They never listen.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 24th, IY 7788

Some questions shouldn't be asked. Did so, anyhow. Answer felt like a shot from a ballista. Right through the temple...

They truly bring just misery with them. Not sure if they take delight in such. Not sure if their ilk is capable of that. Not sure about anything, yet even the prospects are just... pain, nothing but.

Some mitigating circumstances, but I don't think folk will care. They'll be shocked, sure, but I'm still at blame. I think that's the point. Plenty of misery to be had from divisions.

Difference between fools and jesters... No such thing for me. Just an out of his depth idiot... Just the type that they love whispering their schemes to.

THE MIST IS THE MIST IS THE MIST.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Tesrin Hray 25th, IY 7788

A little bit of joy, a little bit of whimsy... Pretty flowers growing upon the Mound of Sand, and Usaamah going Full Kulamet at the sight. Kind of gross, but I still giggled... in private. I don't know where the flowers came from, nor do I have a clue what came over Usaamah! Maybe he was trying to emulate Mr. Yeti...? Oh, that makes sense. I suppose.

After that, a bunch of long meetings... Just waiting to deliver my report, really. A bunch of stragglers, loitering in the hallway, all for the sake of catching some gossip. I don't really blame them... I'd do the same. If it weren't against the law... rather spend those fines on perfume and good deeds.

A lot of trades, all for the sake of staving off an internal war, in midst of one that surrounds us from all sides. I wasn't paying that much attention... I pretty much never do. Get enough context from a few keywords. Get a migraine if you listen to all of it... Not that I could, even if I tried. Always distracted by something more pleasant... Though it's harder, right now.

Finally got to deliver that report, later. Both of them were shocked. Which isn't a shock in itself. It is stuff that keeps you up at night... and I even expunged a few details. The ones that make you sound mad when you say them out loud. Wouldn't really change much regarding the war, even if they're the underlying current beneath it all. It's complicated.

How much of a lie is there in a myth...?

Maybe it's all that there is.