The Journal of Bashir Khatara

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Illul 28th, IY 7788

They caught the necromancer! Well, one of them... There's a lot of those, lately. The trial was as strange as usual! The guy kept saying that he became a necromancer partially out of academic curiosity, partially by accident! If there's even a chance of that being true, then he really is the dumbest necromancer ever! Like, how do you just wander off, get a tattoo that you don't fully understand, and then just... kind of hang around, with necromantic energies flowing through your hand...? How do you not notice that?

In the Well, there's a fine line between bullshit and tomfoolery, but I'm still kind of going with "bullshit" on this one!

Oh, and Horton has glasses, now... I'm glad that I don't need glasses! My vision continues to be perfect... It's why I can see all of the colors! All of them! Even the secret ones! Of course, Horton sees those too, because he's a halfling, too... Humans don't see any of the secret colors! Elves do. Half-elves see half. Dwarves, too, see half, due to ancient vows of sacrifice! Gnomes see all of them, but only when it comes to mushrooms! It's weird.

Anyhow... Oh! Alejandro's statue was restored, and hidden in a hidden place, that's hidden even from my journal, because you never know, some weirdo might actually understand Alzhedo and be reading this in secret! And if you're doing that, then that's very rude, and you should stop doing so immediately! The secret of Alejandro's statue must stay safe from crazy saboteurs!

I also talked with Cogsworth about cozyness! Coziness...? Anyhow, there's apparently a science about it, cozy-o-metrics or whatever... I don't know how to feel about it... I would read the "Cozy" journal, I guess, but only if they use a star-based rating system! It's just that when you make something into a science, you just kind of nearly always turn it into a hassle... It's what happened with shapes, too! A triangle used to be just a funny little shape, until the mathematicians came for it...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Illul 29th, IY 7788

Mr. Yeti's strange behavior was finally enough for some Recluta, who proceeded to go crazy... and then he murdered him! Despite being a controversial figure, the trial really could have only one final outcome... And so, the Recluta was sentenced to death! He got away, though... His cuffs got loose, somehow! It's the curse of the Fourth! Also, one of my colleagues ran off with the highly important evidence... I chased after her, but she leaped on a springboard, and I lost track of her, because I don't have springboard training, so, I had to gather my nerves before I jumped on it... It was too late!

Now, there's a bunch of strange rumors going about! One says that Argent got tired of Mr. Yeti's controversial popularity, seeing him as a threat to his political regime, and had him murdered! The second says that the Sisters were the ones to get tired, instead, because rehabilitating someone like Mr. Yeti was so much work, so, they had him murdered! Sounds like nonsense to me, since the Sisters are such nice ladies, even though that brew of theirs is some weird stuff... The third rumor says that Mr. Yeti owed a Lot of Money to the Glaziers! The fourth rumor says that it was a tribal feud! The fifth rumor says that I did it, which is absolute nonsense! The sixth rumor says that it was Mr. Nasty! And the seventh rumor, the strangest of all, was that Mr. Yeti faked his own death, so that he could begin a new life, and rub shoulders with the high society of Baz'eel!

Mr. Yeti's tribe yearns for revenge, no doubt! Whomever orchestrated this heinous crime should watch their back! Except if that last rumor is true, I guess... That'd just be plain weird...

Later that day, we went to Hufaidh... I had to wait in the spooky ol' lighthouse while the others did boardwork! It was mostly fine, though... It's just that it's real spooky and dank in there... Jamileh even played a prank on me! It was so mean! When they were finished, we tried solving the Mystery of Hufaidh... I was able to partially solve it! I feel so proud about myself! Then Zol Nur announced that he was retiring, and I misunderstood, and thought that he was going to retire for good, because, like, if you announce that on a tropical island, and your regular life is living in a tower full of crazy wizards, then context dictates that you're doing it for good...

But he didn't retire for good! Which is great, because the trip to Hufaidh is long, and it gets real hot on the boat, and if I had to do the trip every single time to meet him, then that'd be just awful... If Hufaidh wasn't cursed, I would retire there myself, though! I'd build a beach bungalow! Bungalows are my favorite type of housing, because it's a funny word to say! Bungalow!

BUNGALOW.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Illul 30th, IY 7788

The Lilies keep asking me to drop out of the race... And they do it in the most condescending way possible. Such behavior even made the newly baptized Vegetable Vera, whose former name I won't write here out of respect, completely furious! Her diet, which consists mostly of a lot of chicken grease, didn't help, either... If you just eat a whole lot of grease, your life'll be full of anger! I think the only reason why I'm not screaming most of the time is because I mostly just eat salad with healthy dips and sauces... I like Vera. She did more for me than some of the folk that presume themselves to be my friends...

I've said it to folk before, but most of the Well might like me, but that doesn't mean that they respect me... And the difference in that is pretty stark. Folk that just like you can still treat you like shit... If I somehow manage to win the election, they'll just change their face-to-face demeanor, but they'll still talk about me behind my back, to utter strangers. I gossip a lot, but never about my friends... That isn't what friends do!

Anyhow... The feuding between the Astronomers and the Sandstone is getting absolutely ridiculous! Now, Zol Nur cursed them, and he also cursed a nun, apparently, for some reason, and it was apparently because Nibb or his doppelganger was doing magickal wedgies on Nadiri, and then Nibb took a catapult and threw a bunch of doo-doo at the Tower, too... Zol Nur's curse made a bunch of folk trip, and then doo-doo rained from the heavens, and I had to spray so much perfume everywhere to get rid of that horrid stench. If I become Legate, I'm going to either force them into peace talks, or I'm just going to make them wrestle... It's mostly guys, and guys calm down after a bout of wrestling! In my experience, anyhow...

Oh, I also bought a frying pan! A magickal one! It heats on its own! I'm going to fry the biggest shakshouka with it!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Illul 31st, IY 7788

In hindsight, it was pretty much obvious that they'd stab me in the back, because they've done that to the League so many times before, but... I really didn't expect them to blabber our private conversations to anyone who'd listen, too. The murmurs make it sound like they're not the only ones, either... So, I'm not sure what to do, if I lose. I want them out of the League, because it's obvious that they have no actual allegiance to it, but if there's more backstabbers, then it's also obvious that folk don't want me in it...

Also, they made poor Maddicus cry, which is just cruel! The man's mind is troubled enough as is!

So, yeah... If the results are going to be what I fear, then I'm probably walking to the office and tossing my badge on the desk. I don't know what the point of being in a League is if all the members don't agree with such important decisions.

I really don't want to engage in politics, but you kind of have to, if you want to change things for the better... Maybe I can start the Scribe's Union and be the Shop Steward, or something, instead... That's a lot of work, though, and paints a giant target on your back. Probably... Though, if Jaecop'd be interested, then funding would be easy, since he knows how to make bijoux! Oh, and I guess I can help too... Through my book sales... and clothes sales... and prismwork... sales... and information broking... sales... There must be a better word for all of that, but the dictionary is on the top shelf, again. Inky likes pretending that it's the tallest tower in the world.

I HAVE NAUGHT NEED OF SUCH FEIGNED GAMES, WHEN REALITY MANIFESTS THUSLY TO I, INKY THE IMPETUOUS!

I suppose that's true... Anyhow, who the fuck is Vivian Grimoire?

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 1st, IY 7788

The past few days have seen a number of startling revelations... First of all, those beacons for Gedwyr and Zol Nur...? They cost a Lot of Money to operate... There's also one for Horton. Horton's a real dependable guy, and I'd probably call him around to help with a bunch of stuff, but still, the expense... I'll rather just use the bellows, instead! That's completely free! For me, at least...

Second... Zol Nur can fly! He just can. It isn't him transforming into a bird, or anything like that... He can fly. It looks really weird, and he refused to teach me, unless I become a Nadiri. That's so unfair! I just want to learn how to fly, and nothing else... From them, anyhow. Seems like all those lessons make you into a weirdo, one way or the other. Zol Nur's mostly normal, but he hates Narwen for some reason, and he really gets into these student feuds, too... Way too much...

Third... Zol Nur has a cousin, who eats cigarettes, and punches folk in the tummy. I don't like him, but he thankfully went back home, even though he managed to punch a bunch of folk, before that... I was safe, thankfully, because I'm so quick on my feet, and Zol Nur's cousin just kind of walks around really slowly. It's menacing, but highly inefficient! You don't really get much done, that way... Unless it's folk that just stand there... again, for some reason!

Fourth... I really need to learn how to handle a katana, if I want another side gig... I'm not sure how well it pays, but it seems like a jolly good time. And even if it'd turn out that I don't like the work, then I could use the katana to... cut firewood, I guess. Slice bread...? A really big loaf of it!

Fifth... Nibb is building a gas cannon! It makes folk laugh. Which is much better than most cannons, because they just make folk dead.

Sixth... Speaking of bread, apparently folk around here are totally fine with some weirdo gnome abusing his employees, just for the sake of some shitty, overpriced toast. I hope that the toast is teeming with disease, and that everyone who ate it gets real sick for like, a week, because there needs to be some kind of lesson in all of this... Don't buy toast from creeps that abuse the labor force!

Seventh... Vivian Grimoire exists!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 2nd, IY 7788

One of the Nadiri invited me down below... A ghost Nadiri! He was real hungry, and wanted a salad. Everyone knows that I always have some salad on me, both for myself, as I get terrible cravings, and for others, as I love sharing! Going deep, deep down is real scary, but it wasn't that bad, because Jamileh was there, and Zol Nur, and Lucian, and Carrot! Nadiri Stardestroyer doesn't like nuns, though, so Kellyn didn't get to come...

Of course, that dumb Zizi immediately accused me of organizing the trek, and ruining her couch, because some octopus or something got out of the ruins... Why would I organize an archaeological trek?! I'm not an archaeologist! I just can't stand seeing anyone going hungry, not even ghosts... Well, friendly ghosts, anyhow, the big ol' bully ghosts can just starve, for all I care!

It's important to have a guard down there, and a friendly ghost makes for a perfect one, I think!

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Then, I was trying to buy a xylophone... I checked Elossi's about thrice, because you never know, a xylophone shipment might come in, any moment! There were a bunch of scheming archaeologists there, and they thought that I was listening in on them... Why would I do that?! All that they talk about is so boring... Then Elossi started talking about big ol' decisions, and how it's important to make them, and how things could always have been different, so, you really need to think about those decisions... She's so wise, and it was a far more intriguing topic than what was at hand before it!

I didn't find my xylophone, so, Narwen and Kellyn wanted to help me with it... They wanted to bring me a "bone", which apparently is an instrument. Instead of a bone, Kellyn found a pole. It was a big ol' pole, and she wanted me to use it for a mallet! But it was way too long for a mallet... and it got me thinking... every adventurer needs a big ol' pole! So, I ran to Elossi's, and gave it to those scheming archaeologists! They could use it to spring traps, and open doors from afar, and stuff like that... A big ol' pole can be real useful!

I think they didn't appreciate my big ol' pole, though, because later, it was laying outside... And it started growing! First, it reached the Pyramid's peak! Then, it kept growing, and growing, and growing, and soon it reached the very heavens! A crowd of folk flocked to see my big ol' pole, and there were so many ideas on what to do with it! Some wanted to throw water at it to shrink it, some wanted to burn it... Myself, I wanted to just chop it for firewood! Then, they told me to try hugging my big ol' pole, to see if that would help...

────────────────────

My big ol' pole flew to the very heavens... and there I found myself! It was real quiet, for a while, and I could just look down at the Disc, up from high... And then, I saw him!

Martin! It really was him... I was so glad to see him, and so was he. We had a real long conversation... Martin dreams now! He never had nary a dream before, but now, he dreams of the lands below, of his mother, of Marcellus, of me... It's good to dream. Some dreams are memories, some are wishes, and others are what could happen... they don't really have a single definition! Seeing Martin was such a relief... even though it did make me cry... But the tears have to flow, and so does the moment. I think I sometimes get too obsessed with what was, and what could've been, instead of what's happening now and how I could make it better.

Every moment is important! Every decision, too... And the folk who moan and groan about your decisions...? You should listen to them, but only if they've done the same — decided. The folk who've never made a single meaningful decision in their life...? They cling to stagnation like a blanket, and they grow bitter when naught but misery comes from such! You shouldn't listen to those folk, not even for a moment!

What happens in this election matters... And even if I lose, I have to keep moving!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 3rd, IY 7788

It's not that surprising to lose, considering that I was informed of just how many folk were bribed a few days before it all even started, but... Nine votes?! Just nine votes?! That's highly embarassing! In fact, it's so embarassing, that I'll be staying out of politics for all eternity... Well, at least for a couple of months. Maybe I should just fund grassroots movements, instead... And I'm not talking about the mizzar!

For some reason, though, Fairyland saw me as a threatening candidate, and so, they sent an assassin after me... Their dagger was so pointy and sharp, that it hurt a whole lot, but the Fourth saved me, thankfully. I need to find the address for Fairyland, and send them a letter, asking why... I can't have bad relations with them! Our city's fairies are an important part of our economy! For example, the hammam fairies ensure that the spirit of the hammam stays uncorrupted... by chasing off lustful lovers! They can do that somewhere else! The hammam is for bathing and relaxation! Also, they sometimes just steal your peshtemal, because it's funny. That's good for peshtemal sales!

The Fashion Show cheered me up, at least... There were quite a lot of competitors, this time! While the needlework of many obviously needs work, there was also a bit of a problem with themes... A theme has to be consistent! Especially if you bring in two pieces... They have to actually match that theme! So, I think I'll be helping folk with that... and their needlework! Not that mine is perfect... Perhaps by teaching others, I can better myself, too!

What was most surprising, however, was how good of a model Peaceful Phor was! His hammer twirling really brought the finishing flourish to "Strawberry Bisquit"! Folk loved it! I'll be sure to hire him for modeling in the future, too...

I also learned that fat folk care about fashion, too, and that they have a lot of problems regarding it, and other things. I don't know how to feel about that, because I thought that fat folk don't really have troubles, on account of their jolliness, which is contained in their fat deposits.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 4th, IY 7788

The fashion line of Qdim is now for sale... A bunch of folk seem to have troubles finding their way to the Palm Heights, though! I don't know why... It's weird. Some folk know how to get to the Krak, and the Pyramid, and that's it! I don't know how you can live like that...?

Anyhow, the line features a cute little bear dolly, this time... I bought one for Tonka, and she simply loves it! At least one person bought "Strawberry Bisquit", and it looks so good on Vilia! Though I... well, I made a typo when filling the sales form, and now the name is kind of morbid...? It was supposed be just cute... You can't be morbid and cute... Well... maybe just conceptually?

There's also a really pretty tiara, too, and I tried convincing Shum to buy it, but he couldn't afford it! It would simply be perfect for focusing his strange, astronomical powers... Well, I guess it's a little too cute for him. I don't think "cute" when I think of Shum.

Anyhow, some gnomes with big ol' heads were making a mess of it around town, and one made its way to Marcellus' office... He was stuck between the door, somehow...? The gnome, not Marcellus. How was I supposed to know that it was a clumsy gnome? It sounded like a big ol' mosquito or something... But yeah, I opened the door, and the gnome got inside, and immediately started headbutting everything, and so, Marcellus' board game, and his new figurines, they were all destroyed! Then, the Janissaries came, and they were going to arrest the gnome, but a bunch of pixies appeared, and they carried him away, but not before Carrot and Reyer did some extrajudicial killings, they murdered those fairies... It was horrible!

────────────────────

Thankfully for Marcellus, Pook Ulbo was around, and he ran to the office and started fixing up everything, he even wanted to paint Marcellus' figurines! He's so dedicated... after all, he's completely and utterly insane. And so is Marcellus, so, they're perfect for each other.

Apparently, Pook gets his loans from the Crown Prince of Mabitek. It's a wondrous island nation, that's all about those beach vacations, and now I want to visit there... Maybe even live there, for the rest of my life! Though I'm not certain how safe their economy is, because they keep giving a lot of money to Pook Ulbo, and that just doesn't seem like a good idea...

So, a really eventful day, though I don't know how I can help the fae community! Maybe I can become their advocate...? But the law is so hard... and it keeps changing... And they don't even bring any fairies over to the Hall of Jurisprudence, they just swat them down like flies, without caring at all about the loss of beautiful life... It's horrible!

Also... Do you have to be a girl to be a handmaiden...?

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 5th, IY 7788

The search for Fairyland is so difficult... There's a lot of mentions of sylvan glades in these old tomes, but I can't really think of anything like that around here! Then there's the almiraj to further confuse it all! They live on islands! I think so, anyhow...

If I could find Fairyland, I'd become a living legend! Then again... Maybe it's hidden for a reason. I think if I did actually find it, Ephia's Well would immediately attempt to invade it. I should probably keep it a secret, if I discover it!

As for a far more boring topic... Politicks! The only Purple whom even attempted to apologize to me is madame Shabani, and I'm pretty sure that she actually showed her support for me with a vote, so... She didn't even need to do that! Mirkka asked me to join the Lilies, to support Ahmet's prospective bid for Legate! I'm not sure if I'll be joining a League anytime soon... But I might consider voting for him, because he actually cares about labor! Yet I kind of have a feeling that they'll prop up some crazy lunatic as their candidate, instead...

Anyhow, something's going on in Nusrum, and I don't like it! The scrawniest orcs are wandering around, again... I'm not sure if they're just scouting out people, or what! Some came real close to the Well, too! And it was just starting to get delightfully quiet... I hate this! I did feel safer because I was with Jamileh, Zol Nur and Shum, but it's still awful, and even I had to wallop a few orcs! With bullets! I don't know if you can wallop with them. I just like the word... I could wallop with my frying pan...?

Also, Zol Nur has a sensitive soul, and writes truly touching poems! He should've became a poet, instead of a crazy wizard!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 6th, IY 7788

Some folk wandered the dunes and murdered my dancing mushroom friends! I just thought that they we're going gather regular ol' mushrooms... just with their boots, because everyone here's a weirdo, so it'd make sense for them to have a strange technique for that! Folk around here are ready to do a bunch of highly questionable shit, just so that they get paid a little... And I do mean a little! My poor friends! They just wanted to dance! That's no crime at all!

And then, Carrot asked me for some advice with interior design... I think he pretty much had it figured out, already! Though folk do go a little too crazy with those bookcases, occasionally... I hope he doesn't... Your home should only look like a library if you're a retired librarian, or a professional speedreader...

Anyhow, the next step in Mirkka's quest for the Meet-a-Brew was to drink a hundred barkskin brews... So, she did! I thought she was going to transform into a treant, but she didn't, she just had a most curious vision! Now, she needs to drink those brews that make you see better... I think there's tomato in them! Delicious! I hope the wisdom I shared was good... Wisdom is hard! I also hope that Mirkka can discover the Meet-a-Brew... It sounds like a grand brew, but I probably can't have any, because it might be alcoholic, and I can't have any, or my liver will explode.

Oh, and then, when we were leaving the Valley of Wisdom, we came across this crystallized sibilant! They were just barely able to move! It seemed like they were affected by some kind of crystalline disease! It was horrible! I wanted to help them, but then that creepy necromancer attacked, with a bunch of creepy creatures, but his attempt failed because his magick fizzled so he couldn't really do anything, I guess...? Anyhow, his dumb creatures threw the sibilant down the chasm! Now we'll never find out the mystery of the crystals! Well, I guess it's good that we survived... I still wanted to find out what was going on, though!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 7th, IY 7788

My bizarre adventures certainly tend to take me into the middle of danger... way too often! I should do something about that! Maybe get myself insured... Wait, no, someone would try to make themselves the beneficiary, and then murder me! I'll just have to keep trying to tame the Big Heron... As everyone knows, I've been doing so arduously for the past few months! Well... I try whenever they show up... Anyhow, if I had the Big Heron, I could simply fly away from any and all dangers!

Also... The dunes are rife with sand sharks, now! They're highly cunning creatures, so folk should watch out! If one tries the old dolphin trick with me, again, I'll know better! But this time they just tried biting me... I wish both animals and people would stop trying to do that... Bite marks are most unfashionable, and I already spend a Lot of Money on lotion, already! I don't know where the sand sharks came from... Must be spawning season. Which is gross!

Is there a classification for cults...? I'm just wondering, for no particular reason whatsoever... Like, how do you know if it's a cult worshipping an actual eldritch being, instead of just some old fart...? Or how do you know that it isn't just an excuse for some horndogs to meet up and grind their pelves together...? The Well should have a cult expert! They just shouldn't be a cultist themselves... They can be an ex-cultist, though, because that actually helps with the labor, and means that they're not just trying to get rid of the rest of the cults so that their own can rise to power! Well, descend to power, because they all live in the sewer...

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 8th, IY 7788

The sand sharks are truly wily! They sent themselves as a gift to Argent... And then they jumped out of the box to bite everyone! Nobody ever believes me about stuff like that... I told everyone that they're highly cunning predators, capable of bluffs, feints, disguises, scams... They're better at schemes than most folk here! I kind of feel like not making any warnings whatsoever, to see how folk would like that, but... I guess you shouldn't stop doing good deeds, even if nobody appreciates them!

Then, there was rustling and bustling at Marcellus' office... But it was just his chore mouse. For some reason, Carrot killed it! He murdered that poor, innocent ol' chore mouse, even if it just helps around the office, and asks very little in return, due to its tiny size. Now, the fairies didn't like that one bit, so, they attacked Carrot and others... but they left me alone! It's because I actually respect the labor of our community's smallest denizens! Anyhow, I think Carrot's crazy, and I'm going to be careful around him... I mean, he carries a bag filled with fairy corpses around. That's so, so, so creepy, and insane! What's wrong with him...?

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Later on, the chore mice living in Vilia's boxes unionized! I think they just wanted to continue living there...? There might have been other conditions, but I don't speak mouse... Angelique does, though. I think that's a side effect of the scorch... Anyhow, the mice even had me and Tonka visit them! The negotiations were quite eventful... Their leader, Comrade Squeak, was even a little disappointed at one point, to the extent that it and its comrades jumped me! But that just tickled a lot... I couldn't stop giggling! But in the end, the chore mice managed to negotiate right of shelter for themselves! Anyhow, I learned a bunch of important lessons from all of this...

First of all, unions really work! If you unionize, you get a bunch of stuff done, real easy, thanks to the power of the crowd, or mob, whichever... Second of all, there's a bunch of stupid people in the Well, who'll attack unionized chore mice on their own, and then they'll nearly get killed, because, again, the power of the crowd! Third... Tonka really likes chore mice. Even she understands the value of labor! Fourth... Vilia keeps a bunch of disgusting shit in her boxes, like soiled rags, and stinky ol' thongs! One box even just had vomit in it, and nothing else. It's so disgusting. I think she has some kind of condition, and needs help from a professional! Or maybe she truly is a box elf, and that is the way of her people...? Some traditions don't make any sense.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 9th, IY 7788

I'm really peeved today, so I'm going to break my vows, and write about licensure! Occasionally, folks bring up organisational licenses... They're a massive loss of tax... revenue! Revenue's different from income... Somehow! Anyhow, these organisational licenses are one of the reasons why the state doesn't get any money from the Astronomers... The other reason is that they're even worse at accounting than I am, which is troubling, because they're actually attending a school of sorts, and I have no formal academic edumacation...

If an organisational license cost like, a hundred thousand, maybe even ten, then maybe it'd be all right, if they had to be renewed once a year or something... Instead, the Astronomers just give them out for free, because they're real dumb, and don't understand that taxation is the basis of... stability... for any state! Yeah!

Anyhow, apparently there's hammerhead sand sharks, around, now... It's real troubling, because not only can those bite you, they can give you a good clobbering with their skull! They can also pretend to be smiths, which regular sand sharks can't really handle that well... Some cultures use hammerhead sand shark skulls for, well, hammers, obviously! It's kind of morbid. I wouldn't use one for a tailoring hammer... Especially because it'd have to be tiny to be suitable for me, and tiny skulls would imply something even more morbid!

Also, Vilia might've left the Well...? Maybe...? Someone blew up her boxes, or something, I don't know... And since every single box was like a child to her, well, it isn't good! I hope that she isn't actually leaving!

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 10th, IY 7788

I still occasionally ponder about my mother... Whether she wanted me, or just left me in an alley.

Yet I also wonder if it really matters. Hard to care about someone who wasn't ever there...

Used to tell myself that I was born from a genie's wish... Gave enough of an explanation, even had the unintended consequences. More tangible idea for a baba than there actually was, too.

But it really is just silly, in the end... A child's romanticized fable, that doesn't really survive further scrutiny. Doesn't even manage to soften the end result, either. Still tossed aside.

Used to be bitter... No, I still am. But in a curious way, more recently, all of it has made me appreciate the mothers that actually do care... And maybe that bitterness makes me hate the folk that do not appreciate their mothers, when they should, even more. Maybe. Wish I wasn't so bitter. Even if it's for good reasons...

Could help at least one mother, now, at least. Not sure of the "how" of it, though. Not really a problem that you can just throw money at...

Or maybe it is.

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Qdim 11th, IY 7788

Jaecop is obsessed with slugs! It's so gross! He won't shut up about them, and he just keeps talking about them in excruciating detail! No matter how much I beg and plead, he just continues... I'm pretty sure he's doing it on purpose just to gross me out! That's so mean! I can't even outgross him, because I'm incapable of being gross! It isn't fair... Maybe I can tell him that there's a new termite in town, that only eats banjolele wood!

I think that's too mean, though... Maybe he'll stop if I scream really loudly?

Why are men so obsessed with such strange things, anyhow...? A healthy obsession comes in handy, but being obsessed with creatures that have tentacles on top of their head, that also die upon contact with salt...? That's no good!

Also... There was a big ol' gremlin, running about town, yelling about a Gloombuckle heist, or something. In truth, it's just trying to eat the Gloombuckles. I'm fine with that, because they're a fashion disaster! Anyhow, it ate a bunch, and it also ate Peaceful Phor's wand, which aggravated Phor in a peaceful fashion, and he started slamming his hammer down upon the sands to bring the gremlin out, and it did jump out, but then Phor tried subduing it, again, in a peaceful fashion, and that just made the gremlin real aggressive, and then there were about a dozen folk trying to help Phor, but that gremlin just kept knocking them out!

Most of the time, gremlins are just a nuisance, but they can get real desperate if you try to hurt them... So, that was a big ol' mistake! You shouldn't mess with gremlins! They know fey martial arts!

I wish I did too! I hope that I can learn some on my vacation!