The Adventures of Rolo Bumbo

[The Beggar]

A few copies of these stories appear about the village, certainly a copy beside at a table in both the inns can be found near the fireplaces. The inside cover shows a stylized symbol and the letters VCD - Bard

The Adventures of Rolo Bumbo

Volume 1 - Rolo Bumbo and the Dank, Dark Cave[/i]

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there was a young man named Rolo Bumbo. Now, perhaps you should know that Rolo was a gangly, knobby kneed sort of boy, slender of build and thin in the head - for many things he did made little sense to others, and sometimes even less to himself.

One fine spring day Rolo was walking along the seashore and heard a sore rumbling and grumbling from a nearby cave. So, dimwitted as he was he made straight for that dank, dark cave and saw that something lived there - for it had a long doormat made of bones large and small and a flowerpot made from a skull off to one side. Seeing no door with which to knock on, he picked up two fine, smooth stones and clacked them together to announce himself - for he did not want to be rude.

Clack. Clack! CLACK!!, sounded the stones, and from deep within the dark of that cave shone two large yellow eyes, each as large as a bakers loaf of round bread, and a guttural growl. "Who. Has. Disturbed my Slumber", rumbled out across the sea shore. All the crabs in the sand scuttled for their holes in the rocks, all the furry little beasts scurried away quick as they could, and all the birds within one days travel took flight. But Rolo Bumbo smiled back at those big, yellow eyes and that guttural growl and said, "Why it is I, Rolo Bumbo, and I hope to be your friend."

A great, grand gravelly chuckle came forth from the dark, and along with it the fetid stench of long dead remains and half eaten carcasses. Rolo could not help but wrinkle his nose at the smell. "I say", said Rolo, pinching his nose "It smells as if you have not cleaned in some time." And from within the stink came the reply as the yellow eyes narrowed, "Oh, but I am so very small...and sick. Perhaps only a little hungry. Come in, and we will share a meal."

There was a small thought in Rolo Bumbo’s thin head, that spun about for only a sliver of a moment, that something was not quite right. But he promptly put it to rest - for only someone who wanted company would have made such a large doormat inviting people to the cave, and no evil thing would ever have a flower pot out front of a cave, even if in an empty skull. Flowers were beautiful things after all, and therefore good. Wanting to be a good new friend though, he took a few hesitant steps forward, but stopped and scratched his head. Calling in again he said, "I could, I think, get us a nice lunch of fresh clams and crabs. I’ve seen many in the sand as I walked along the shore. Would that help?"

"Oh, no", was the reply, "For you see nature has already provided. We’ll have just enough." With that reasonable answer Rolo nodded and took the last steps into the dank, dark cave, a smile on his face - for he had made a brand new friend. And Snip Snap Snup, Rolo Bumbo was eaten alive, knobby knees and all.

Rolo would have you know: Never trust a monster, for they are what they are, and can not change. You should just kill them, and be done with it.

-VCD

[The Beggar]

The Adventures of Rolo Bumbo

Volume 2 - Rolo Bumbo and the Changeling Twin[/i]

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there was a young man named Rolo Bumbo. Now, perhaps you already know that Rolo was a gangly, knobby kneed sort of boy, slender of build and thin in the head - for many things he did made little sense to others, and sometimes even less to himself. When last we had heard of him, he had been Snip, Snap, Snupped up by some great, dark monster - for that is what monsters do best. They Snip. They Snap They Snup, and they eat you all up.

But Rolo, being thin in the head had forgotten to wash himself for the last 3 winters, and when that great, dark monster snapped him up whole, it couldn’t bear to savor the flavor of such a stinky, knobby kneed boy - and promptly Spat. Him. Out. For even monsters may have standards - sometimes.

The poor, slobbery and only slightly chewed on boy flew through the salty morning air, across the dunes along the sea shore, over a small hillock, and landed with a rather large SPLASH and a slighlty less grand Plop right in the middle of a bubbling, gurgling crystal clear stream in the middle of a beautiful forest glen. Rolo gave a broad, good natured grin and a happy laugh at his luck - for he had just remembered he needed a bath, and here he was, already half way through it with most of the work already done for him. And so he splashed about for a few hours more, found some apples and nuts and berries for dinner, and laid down to sleep on the nicest, greenest grass he could find - under the shade of an old oak tree and inside a nice, neat ring of odd looking mushrooms.

And sleep he did.

And dream he did, of beautiful fairies and fey swirling about his head on gossamer wings, with their pretty emerald eyes, who came and stood upon his chest and pricked his nose with a long, slender sword that shone silver in the moonlight. “Ouch”, cried Rolo Bumbo, and rubbed his sore nose. “Why did you do that, pretty little fairies?” The most beautiful of them all glided to him and perched upon one of his knobby knees. “I am a Fairy Princess, she said in her magical, tinkling voice, and all I want to do is to give you things, silly man. For I am immortal, and what purpose is there with time now other than giving and games.” Rolo thought this was quite nice, and he clapped his hands with glee - for what sort of person doesn’t like presents.

The Fairy Princess smiled a magical smile and the boys heart melted a little bit more than it had been already. “How about a trade, she said, with you receiving all the gifts, and myself taking nothing from you. I will give you the rights to a great treasure of gold, and jewels, and magical things, and all you will have to do is to say, I want a brother.” Now Rolo had always though he had wanted a treasure -and- a brother, so he said “I want a brother”, and the Fairies clapped with glee, and their Princess waved her magic wand and said “So let it be.”

When Rolo Bumbo awoke in the morning he found to his right a map drawn in silver ink, showing the location of a great treasure that sat under the watchful eye of a powerful, old dragon, and to his left he spied his twin brother sitting and smiling at him. “I have a brother!” Rolo yelled, as he danced about in glee, his brother dancing along with him. Rolo looked his brother over, and found his same knobby knees, his same touseled hair, but his eyes shown emerald green and were full of a wicked intelligence. *Hm* Rolo though as he looked his new brother over *my brother is not exactly the same as me...I wish that I could have pretty eyes like that*. And that was the last thought that poor Rolo Bumbo had, for his new brother SMACKED him in the head with a nearby rock, and then tossed him below the old oak tree for the crows to pick at.

Then the Rolo Bumbo twin then went about, from town to town, killing and dancing and eating and stealing babies.

Rolo would have you know: Fairies may give, but they always take more in return. Be ye wary, with the Fairy.