A Kinder, Gentler Tone

[Howlando]

I guess there was an incident that was controversial and suffered from a lack of clarity about what was happening, and by some outrage that sort of fed on itself.

Likewise a couple threads popped up with some heated words.

Now guys, I know we're on the internet, but this is all a bit silly.

I think it would be beneficial if those of us getting upset collectively (DMs as well as players) checked ourselves a bit. We are basically just playing a game here. I really don't think anyone is trying to damage anyone else's efforts in some kind of mean-spirited way. I can understand people losing their temper or getting angry, but if that happens, the proper reaction is to step away.

We need positive constructive criticism in order to improve. It is welcome. It is important for the health of the server. What is not healthy is actions, comments, or attitudes that make DMs not want to DM, or players not want to play.

Being supportive of each other and respectful is very important to me. I know that when asked I have said again and again that the most important thing is just having a good attitude about things (and that does not mean just blindly agreeing, far from it). I really think the true foundation of a healthy server is one in which where people are friendly, positive, trusting, amiable, cheerful, constructive in their OOC dealings.

A player that doesn't seem to have that important, core respect and constructiveness may absolutely be asked to leave the server.

I'm not trying to single anyone out, or blame anyone - I am a nice guy and I have absolutely lost my temper over this game - but let's all just try a little harder.

[I can has fun?]

I think everyone can agree on the following:

1. There is no one here who can afford to waste their time.

2. People who cannot openly express their frustration grow resentful.

3. Ad hominem attacks against individuals or groups are always unhelpful.

4. We are all here to have fun.

[Caddies]

It takes a second to wreck it
It takes time to build
You gots to chill

[9lives]

Only together can we defeat the Second Wave menace.

[p00d33m]

About the Faction post which probably originated all this, I have learned a interesting american farmers expression today: "Hope, spring is a turtle."

About being upset and angry, doesn't make sense, bottom line it is a game period. If you are not happy please don't spread it among those who really enjoy and contribute to this "awesomeness".

[Jayde Moon]

I really like your turtle.

[Letsplayforfun]

Let's play for fun. Keep cool.

[dragonfire9000]

Hey ya'll, I've been traitoring over at another server for a bit, but I just wanna say that we all just really need to kind of flow, ya know? Now, don't actually smoke any weed, but please try to have the pothead's outlook on life. Remember Bob Marley's words, and the Bible's. Have peace my children.

*throughout is nodding his head obnoxiously, blinking often, and waving his arms in random patterns*

Hug?

[Nihm]

Players should be able to communicate openly with the DM team about things they dislike or would've wanted to be different or thought could be better done.  The DM team should be able to communicate openly with individual players and with the playerbase in general about things they dislike or thought could've been better done, by the player (s).
If venting has a point, or a constructive element it should definately not be dissallowed, otherwise any criticism at all will be construed as pointless whining.
In all of the above personal attacks should never happen.  Critisizing the way someone does something has to be done in such a way that it isn't taken personally.  There has to be a distance between "that sucked" and "you suck."
I believe that as long as that distance is maintained, complaints are not a bad thing and can actually be beneficial to this community.

[Inquisitor]

Pleased to meet you,

Hope you guessed my name...

[PanamaLane]

People need to vent from time to time. It's alright. DM's defintiley understand. Players sometimes don't, though. I'd say 90% of the time its better to vent to a DM privately then to go after another player. You'll be surprised how much you don't care about it when you're finished, and then, if you need to, you can talk to the player in a much more reasonable and constructive tone.

Good rule of thumb though about the game in general is this: no one is out to get you personally, no matter how much it may feel that way. With that in mind, try not to get nasty. The game is only fun because we play it together.

[Gwydion]

I said this before about a year ago, but it seems like a vast majority of the angst that players feel is PvP related.

True?

That said, a polite Tell sent by a player either days, hours or minutes before PvP can totally change the experience for the "victim".

I don't buy the argument, "it takes away the element of surprise."  Long ago, Mort asked me via Tell, "Are you ready for this?", when I already knew his evil half-orc cleric was going to ambush me.  I didn't metagame it and change what I was doing.  Instead I relished the impending thrill and THOROUGHLY enjoyed the action.  

That opposed to being in the middle of a scripted quest and getting mauled by an invisible assassination squad with no warning whatsoever.  The players involved did nothing wrong in any way - nonetheless, I didn't enjoy it at all and it was very anticlimatic for me.

I'd suggest sending a Tell to intended victims at some point, if even to see if the player was going to be able to stay logged for the next 30-60 minutes at least so that the PvP and consequences could be addressed fully.  

Whether that Tell says, "FYI, your character is targeted at any time in the next few days", or "Are you ok with PvP in a bit, or would you prefer it not happen right now?"

Just a suggestion, don't mean to digress here.

[Yalta]

One of the great advantages of the new forum is the ability to post in Private to the DM's.
 
If you need to ask a controversial question, comment or rant and its fairly angsty, negative, controversial or whatever, maybe consider using the Private forums, rather than mIRC, public forums or IG tells?
 
I, like Howl, hope i am fairly decent person, but have screamed at the screen on occasions when things haven't gone my way IG.
 
Thankfully no one was their to hear, apart from the wife, who thought i was being attacked.
 
Venting (verbally or in writing) can be theraputic, but make sure you move on after you are done, it is only a game and we are grown ups (well most of us). Spreading the 'venting' to everyone on the server isn't usually a positive thing to do.
 
Anyway just a thought.

[Zip]

This is just a game. Occasionally something can be happen that might take a day or two to get over, or just ticks you off immensely, but that's when it's time to take a break, not time to start yelling at people.
Honestly, just two or three days off can solve a lot of problems.

[Nightshadow]

As has been said countless times, this is only a game, whining and complaining and making others feel bad will do nothing for you, it's useless and wastes time. When a problem arises look at what is going on around you and see why that problem is there, and work to correct it, I promise that if you approach things like this, rather than complaining to the person who just FD'd or mugged you, that you will have a funner time.

If your character that you enjoyed playing suddenly gets FD'd, and you feel it was uncalled for, calmly speak to the other player about it, see why they did it, and try to come to the most unbiased opinion about whether or not they made the correct IC decision in FD'ing you. If your opinion is that it was legitimate, then take a break for a bit, and then come up with another awesome concept for another character.