Letters to Princess Shaimela [DM]

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

[These fancy letters are scented with lavish perfumes, and are almost always accompanied by a set of abbreviated reports, focusing on recent events of the war against the Thousand Clans. The details are concise, with almost all of the technical minutiae expunged. Even with this abridged nature of the work, certain sentences are still further underlined to guide the reader.]

Your Royal Highness,


I hope that you are in good spirits, such as it is allowed by the harsh conditions that we find ourselves in.

The work on your scarf continues. As shipments to Ephia's Well can be quite sluggish, I've unfortunately not yet received the finest of silks meant for your most stylish accessory! I am certain, however, that you will be pleased to hear that I've trimmed down the number of prospective designs to a mere twelve! Please let me know if there is a particular color or pattern that you favor.

As to the war, it is quite a strange affair, as you will see in the reports. Currently, we find ourselves amidst a season of splits, you could say! A split between which city to focus on, Arslan or Got Valdhazr! Yet there is another division... Who should be Warmaster? The current Warmaster, Rennik Colmes... I am not certain if you have met him, but he's handsome in that weird rugged sort of way? Like, if he didn't have any battle experience, you kind of wouldn't pay attention to him, because then he'd just be some dirty bum on the street... Anyhow, it's a split between him and Mirielle Roussaeu. She's this really tiny lady, who's excessively violent, and she kind of says "wee wee" a lot, and other weird stuff like that. I think she's foreign.

I'm not sure how big the division is, because a lot of people respect Colmes, but he's made a bunch of weird decisions lately, like firing me, which you're already aware of! Sometimes, getting a decision from the important folk of the Well can be an arduous task... You kind of have to force them to do it! But most decisions here are really difficult, like this city business... I really was hoping to make the parachutes, but it seems like that the project is on hold, for now. Which is kind of another thing that just happens around here...? I'm kind of just told that the task I was given isn't going to happen! It's awful.

Please let me know if you have any further wishes, whether regarding your scarf, further apparel, or the war, or anything else!

In service to the Sublime Gardens,

Senior Scribe Bashir Khatara

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Your Royal Highness,


A lot has happened, in such a short time! We shall march to Arslan, soon... It is a frightful notion, and not just because the dwarven prince got real mad, and cursed the Legates for making the decision!

Now, Legates Argyris and Saenus glow and wrestle, occasionally... Well, Legate Saenus is kind of see-through, really, while Legate Argyris shines like some sweet strawberry wine! Legate Saenus' hair also looks kind of black while this curse is ongoing... It's curious... That might've been his original hair color, before he went gray! Warmaster Colmes avoided the curse, probably because he keeps tossing ash around like there's no tomorrow! It makes me sneeze a lot. Anyhow, I'm glad that he wasn't cursed, because threeway wrestling is much more difficult to break off than a twoway! The Janissaries have their hands so busy because of this curse... and the war!

As for me, I'm still waiting for the silk shipment... Everything's so slow, because of the war. I really want to get started on your scarf! I've been able to whittle the prospective designs down to six... I like all of them, so much! Perhaps the other five shall be a future labor...? Oh, that would simply be so grand!

In other news, Tonka met a tomcat, but I didn't approve of him, because he seemed like a real lazy layabout! Tonka's husband should be a most diligent gentleman, who brings home the mice! If Tonka has kittens, the father shouldn't be napping all the time...

Oh, and I was also kidnapped... I think it was about the seventh time. I've kind of lost count... Oh, and the seventh time here. My life is quite eventful!

In service to the Sublime Gardens,

Senior Scribe Bashir Khatara

[Abala]

Bashir,

Thank you for these quite amusing stories. Have you been published yet? I think you should consider it. You have quite the creative mind.

Regards,
Shaimela

[Fabulous Secret Powers]

Your Royal Highness,


I've had two books published! For some reason, they were most popular in Frostport... I get a lot of letters from there! I'd visit my fans there, but the trip is quite long, and it's so cold...

I had a third book in the works, which was just about these amusing tales! I wanted to call it... "Tales from Ephia's Well"... and make it a serial! Or maybe call it... "It Came from Ephia's Well"... for that horror crowd. But my agent looked at my draft, and said that it was too implausible... Which is troubling, because everything in it was true, just actual events! Her wife liked it... but then again, she's actually been here, so, she knows how it is. Maybe if Ephia's Well becomes more renowned, such a series would actually sell...

Anyhow, I have a good feeling about the silk! I'm certain that it will arrive soon!

In service to the Sublime Gardens,

Senior Scribe Bashir Khatara