Letter sent to Herald Hill

[thegn]

[An envelope smelling of oud and other exorbitant perfumes arrives... somewhere... carried off by an orange bandana-wearing refugee.]

Adar 30th, IY 7787

Herald Hill,

For your full services as a personal herald and full-time employee of my newspaper, al-Hamdan Herald, I will pay you a five thousand dinar commission (a Voice!). However, I can not give you a wage presently, unless your work is so extraordinary that a wage may be earned through promotions and bonuses. Alternatively, I can give you a starting weekly wage of about, let's say, four-hundred instead of the lump sum of five-thousand.

What do you say? Will you become a proud employee of the Well's finest paper?

- Grand Strategist, Poet-Extraordinaire, Swashbuckling Bravo, Known Philanthropist, Baz'eeli Debonair, News Mogul, Tourism Magnate, Purple League Patriot, Vizier of Ephia's Well,
   The Most Esteemed Hamdan al-Hamdan