Margarethe Eisenberg's Diary of Dark Designs

[Atelier Margarethe]

Hziran 15th, IY 7788

What remained of my prior diary has finally dissolved. It is time to cease clinging to nostalgia and move forward. What happened happened and I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Besides, this book is also good. It has a symbol of a bottle on the cover, which I enjoy, as an alchemist. I have some catching up to do, however, so this entry will be less focused than I prefer.

They call this place Ephia's Well. It is a place on the brink of disaster. There has already been one murder in my time here, and I suspect that pattern will continue. So long as it does not impact my research, I do not care.

The Tower of Q'tolip is the preeminent mage organization here. I say "preeminent", but that does not mean very much. They are trapped in a miasma of their own making, widely ridiculed and mocked by everyone. You may think I have made a fool of myself donning their hideous half-hooded blue uniform, but I will make any sacrifice to see my mission accomplished.

The Apothars, this land's equivalent to the State Alchemist, are broken creatures perhaps beyond repair. There are three, but only two are relevant. Mae and Cosine.

I thought I liked Mae, but it turns out she is completely wretched! She actually refused to accept me as her apprentice. She speaks of commitment, but she is one to talk. She did not even have the strength to destroy the horrific omniscope of her own power.

Now I am stuck with Cosine, which is the worst thing ever. He is the epitome of the overly proud wizard who grasps at great heights only to one day fall plummeting to the earth. I must work carefully to fix this, lest I be caught in the blast. I absolutely refuse to call him my master. It will only make him more prideful.

There is one thing that continues to trouble me, however. Something so terrible I hesitate to even write it down. So I won't.

[Atelier Margarethe]

Hziran 16th, IY 7788

I want the election to be over I'm so tired of it.

Three more days. Marcellus will be Legate. Cosine will get his pawn back in office. It's only going to make him worse, unfortunately. I will need to redouble my efforts to keep him humble.

He confronted me, too. He spoke to me in his irritating way about masters and apprentices. What does he know? "You need to conduct yourself with some foundational respect for master-and-apprentice"? Why does that fill me with such indignity, such outrage?

No matter. I have already acquired my First Epoch. If things continue this way, I will not need to resort to drastic measures.

[Atelier Margarethe]

Hziran 17th, IY 7788

I wonder whether Selsi even comprehends the powers that she plays with. Does she realize how much is at stake, or have I vastly overestimated her? To put her carefully crafted image in jeopardy for the sake of that larval elf is a clear error on her part.

At least Cosine was of use in that situation. I have found he is most useful when he is a target for their ire. Still, being forced to sit outside that Priory like a disobedient child filled me with a great and terrible rage. They are fortunate I have not yet rediscovered certain recipes.

In better news, I have finally met Hypatia and she gave me cheese and snacks within my Domain. She was foolish to come within unprepared, but that's fine, I enjoyed it anyway. While Selsi is my rival, I actually find Hypatia even more stimulating as a conversation partner. I believe it is because Hypatia and I share certain areas of interest, even if for my own sake I have kept these interests concealed from the eye of the quarrelsome public.

It makes me wonder what her so-called Sins even are. Even more interesting, why keep them concealed? Why deny the existence of the text when I know it is real?

Perhaps it is for the same reason they pretend to be boring nuns. Each little lie is a bastion that they must defend with full vigor, no matter how tedious. It makes the most precious secrets all the more valuable.

But no matter how strong the fortress, it shall inevitably fall before a State Alchemist.

[Atelier Margarethe]

Hziran 19th, IY 7788

I don't know what she wants from me. So what if I like goats? That doesn't prove anything. Goats are the source of a number of useful trade goods such as milk, wool and other things.

Cosine is absolutely infuriating. How dare he? Does he think such betrayal is worth the cost? His trap was cunning, in a Cosine sort of way, but any trapper knows even the best trap can only be sprung once. I will never go and get falafel with him again.

Associate
Acquaintance
Colleague
Companion
Chum
Bedfellow
Sidekick
Amigo
Familiar
Workmate
Sister

[Atelier Margarethe]

Hziran 21st, IY 7788

We had a fight. It felt good, actually. I wasn't expecting it to. One of my greatest concerns since my arrival in Ephia's Well was that Mae was unable to feel and had become a spiteful creature of vengeance. This gives me cause to believe in her, even if only a little. Contact is not my preference but I will make any sacrifice if it means my goals are achieved.

Cosine fired Ashley and called it the "Estellise special", which was nearly enough to send me into a rage. That nonsense was ENTIRELY his own doing and he did not intend to teach her a lesson at all.

In any case, I was forced to reveal the secret of the Disaster to him. I could tell he was emotionally unstable and required a sign of trust. I do trust him, somewhat, only not in any of the ways he wants.

It was good to meet Naelin. Naelin is generally similar to me in many ways, including her struggles with Mae. Sephidra is also kind and makes good tea and is very tall. I have seen futures in which she becomes Legate, which are some of my favorite futures, admittedly. They invariably involve Marcellus dying and Cosine learning a valuable lesson.

I also started working on a poem, but it isn't very good right now. I hope to have it ready in time for the wine tasting, when I will read it quietly to myself for motivation and all of my plans will come to fruition.

[Atelier Margarethe]

Hziran 26th, IY 7788

It is time to admit it. Nothing is going as I had planned.

The codeword was "Celestial Gravitation". Why was there no response? I was supposed to be her apprentice. She was supposed to become Zenithar and then my duty here would be complete.

It has taken so long that even my height enhancement has worn off. That was not easy to do, either.

Why is none of it happening? Why is none of this how I remember?

It's you, isn't it? You did all of this.

I don't care. I am older, wiser, and far more mature. I have seen things none of these people can even comprehend. I have endured a thousand woes and more. I have had my heart shattered, reconstructed and then shattered again. Yet I have not given up. I will never give up.

I will endure. I will overcome. And I WILL defeat you.

I will stop your Disaster.

[Atelier Margarethe]

[Atelier Margarethe]

[A small note between the pages, with names written sharply, often outlined or underlined multiple times.]


Mirit the Liar
Marcellus
Zorbo
Ovaldo - He's not here yet, I think.
Qari
Clarissant
Princess Hasheema
Ashley - Whatever. I only disliked her because of what her success meant for Mae, and the world.
Xon - Cosine's failure washed away. I only have to ensure it is permanent.

[Atelier Margarethe]

Hziran 31st, IY 7788

Youth.

I envy her. She does not know what it is like to make hard decisions. It is a trivial, trite thing to hire assassins to kill Cosine. It is far harder to sit down and suffer Mae's wretched game for sake of her growth.

I wish I could have that innocence back.

Billions upon billions of lives, all lost to the cosmic wind. She does not understand it the same way you and I do. She knows the word. "Disaster". That's all. The way a child knows the sound of many words but not their meaning.

Do you think I operate under such illusions? I do not. I will make any sacrifice, I will sink to any depth, I will destroy anyone who stands in my way. I will not allow it to happen again.

I still remember the way her blood looked. It was violet.

[Atelier Margarethe]

I am the girl on the other side of the mirror,
Lost in the depths of my own despair.
The one who is unseen, who longs to be nearer,
Yet is kept away by this glass wall's snare.

On the other side stands a girl, so fair and bright,
Her life seems perfect, with friends all around.
But I am the shadow, shrouded in night,
With loneliness and darkness as my constant sound.

Her eyes gleam with joy and laughter,
Mine reflect only tears and sorrow.
She has love, while I am the martyr,
Endlessly struggling for a better tomorrow.

And yet, this girl from the other side
Wishes to kill me, to end my being.
But I, the lonely one, cannot abide,
For life is precious, with purpose and meaning.

The stars above me twinkle and glow,
A reminder that beauty still exists.
I will not give up, I will not let go,
For hope still lingers, like the stars in mists.

I am the girl on the other side of the mirror,
Lonely and lost, but not yet broken.
Though my heart may quake and quiver,
I will not yield, my spirit is not yet awoken.

[Atelier Margarethe]

Tammuz 9th, IY 7788

I have found myself adrift since Cosine's death. Even knowing it was coming, it was not any easier. It may have been worse. Needing to comfort myself made it necessary to conceal my own true feelings, something I despise doing. And worst of all, the worst thought of them all whispers itself in my ear again and again and again.

The future refuses to change.

It is time to refocus on my attention on my designs. The path forward remains the same. If some things are set in stone, then I will use that fact to my advantage.

Margarethe builds the Alchemic Essence Evaluator. Margarethe becomes an Apothar.

You and I both know what happens after that.

[Atelier Margarethe]

She threads through time's tapestry,
Chasing echoes of what might yet be,
Yet fate's cruel hand, an ironclad decree,
Her every effort lost to destiny.

Through veils of time, her heart does yearn,
To rewrite the tale, to unbind fate's stern,
But every path she walks, she finds no gain,
Beneath the shadow of destiny's bane.

Her friends, like stars, fade into the night,
Their destinies entwined in sorrow's blight,
No matter how she struggles, they're bound to fall,
Their endings enscribed on fate's somber scroll.

Like whispers in the wind, Their schemes unfold,
A tapestry of secrets, ancient and cold,
Their hands shaping futures, bleak and grim,
To unmake the world and all within.

Yet still, she fights against the tides of gloom,
Her spirit aflame in this not-yet tomb,
Though they may yet hold this world in their sway,
She'll stand defiant until the break of day.

[Atelier Margarethe]

Illul 22nd, IY 7788

I know what's going on, of course. I've known from the start. Did I deceive you? I don't imagine so. But it's necessary to maintain a certain element of deniability.

There is a great deal that she doesn't understand.

I have thus far not worked too hard to change this state of affairs. Sparing her the pains of the past is my preference, obviously. Am I being too gentle with her, like a mother afraid to break the dependence of her child on his blanket? Perhaps I am simply selfish. But it matters little. I know she would not listen to most of my counsel to begin with.

It's not like I didn't try. Did I not tell her to pay more attention to him? Not once, but five times! I even warned her she was being far too much like Mae with him. She has herself to blame more than anyone else. It's entirely her fault. She treated him as an afterthought. She just casually tossed him off to Ashley, a piece in a ridiculous plan to force her to commit or break. Her most loyal apprentice! A piece discarded in a pointless scheme. Is it any surprise he grew desperate to be of use, that he clung to those who paid attention to him? She failed him utterly and completely.

Yes. I know what you're thinking. I know too. We both know what I mean. It's just easier to write it that way.