Light v. Night: Probably a bad Poem

[Seanzie]

This is a poem I wrote. Probably is bad. Trolling is allowed.

The light so bright
Makes the day feel right
Like there is no blight
You can reach any height
But when light turns to night
No amount of lefts will make it right
You feel lost, out of sight
Blending in with the dark shroud
Trying to slither through a crowd
But everything will be alright
Night will soon go away
Light will make everything okay
Just believe and pray
Nighty night, here comes the light

[Spiffy Has]

Nice work. I encourage creative prowess. All poems are shit, then after a hundred years, some fucker will find this website and go wow, this guy is great.

[Drakill Tannan]

The "ight" sound is too repetitive. The other ryhms seem drowend in an "ight" avalanche. Rhyming so often doesn'0t add musicality, it substracts musicallity. I'd recomend you use lest "ight"s and alternate the rhyming sounds

Ight
owd
ight
owd
ay
ight
ay
ight

So it souns more musical and less repetitive.

As every single thing that has ever been written it needs to be written 2 or 3 more times before you can tap into it's potential. I advise you correct it, re-read it, re-write it, correct it again, and do so untill you're satisfied.

[Knight Of Pentacles]

poetry is for nerds

[Seanzie]

And gangsters