Officer Barkely fan fiction

[Dr Dragon]

--a normal day in the Spellguard lobby-


The fat Officer Barkely downs a mint and eyes Othur walk in.

Associate Captain Othur strides in "Keeping your lips minty fresh just for me Duke?"

"Captain come to the back we need to talk said Officer Barkely"

Barkely wandered the dark halls remembering his past before the underdark for he was a skilled wizard he had to do many many things to get to the position he is today.

Barkely whispers

"Othur no one can find out about us for one your an elf what would the others think, what would the commander think, What would Sanctuary think?"


Othur responds with a whisper

"Since when did you or the rest of the order cared what sanctuary was thinking about especially with what you do surely most would be repulsed when they saw the things you did just for fun Officer Barkely.

Barkely was unmoved Barkely had done many things within his time in the Order many would consider what he did unethical but he did what needed to be done for the good of Sanctuary for the good of the order and of course for his own sake......

and suddenly out of the blue a loud voice called

"OTHUR? OTHUR? MAKE ME A SANDWICH!"

and Bursting into the room came Operative Kyros Miller the 4th

and he boomed "WHERE IS MY SANDWICH OTHUR!?"


Officer Barkely was stunned the idea that his Othur could be with Operative Miller.......

" But Othur only makes me a sandwich!" boomed the Officer



"OTHUR WHY!? Said the Operative


Othur appearing silent just said

"Officer I...I...."

Barkely uttered a spell he had performed for years and soon many magical missles hit Captain Othur subduing him to a bleeding pulp to the floor. The officer then drew a wand and in moments Othur vanished.

"Come with me Operative said the officer"

Officer Barkely knew exactly what he would do with Othur he had done it for years....


He finally led the Operative to a cell Othur already bleeding in the cell......


"Operative you will torture Associate Captain Othur."

"Officer but........" said the Operative

"You will do what is expected of you Miller I need not remind you of the consequences of disobeying a direct order do you not?


Operative Miller then said "I understand Officer"


Operative miller uttered variouse spells and evocations greatly harming othur to the point of death while the Officer ate some mints. Mints the one thing that seemed good in this world Mints didnt betray him they only satisfied him in this risky world there was none he could trust but his mints.


Finally Miller asked "Do I do what we usually do Officer"


"No" Said Barkely "I have not gained my pleasure yet"


Barkely began pulverizing Othur some more with his magics and then said "You will forever stand in my quarters as a statue unable to betray me."


Othur was all "Officer we can still......." It was to late the Officer had finished his spell and Othur was just a mere statue.  


"Operative Miller construct a copy of Othur"


"Understood sir" Said Operative Miller



This was another day within the spellguard tower where Barkely had to be heartless to do his job for he was a member of the Order and had to do what was necessary he then returned to his chair continuing to chew on his delicious mints the only thing in the world that never betrayed him......

[9lives]

A fine effort, but ultimately lacking in the subtle socio-romantic contexts of the Azzam saga.

[Sternhund]

epic fail.

[Metro_Pack]

[q]A fine effort, but ultimately lacking in the subtle socio-romantic contexts of the Azzam saga.
[/q]

[q]Finally Miller asked "Do I do what we usually do Officer"


"No" Said Barkely "I have not gained my pleasure yet" [/q]

Subtext, sir.