Chapter 6 - EFU: Sands of Intrigue - Rumors, Gossip & Tales of the Desert

[DangerousDan]

Hziran 20th, IY 7789

Old Man Trips on Wall

The Parchment can EXCLUSIVELY reveal the details of a brutal battle fought at an Orcish fortification deep in the Scald. It is said the so-called Purple Pair - former Legate Marcellus Saenus (you've got to love him!) and then-Legate Achaeus Saenus (any relation???) led the combined forces of Baz'eel and al-Nasr to a great victory over the barbarian foe.

All of Baz'eel mourned to hear that Marcellus, who was in his dotage even during his early Legateship, tragically tripped over the so-called 'Abulmahhu' and cracked his skull, dying some hours later surrounded by his loved ones. The beloved leader - who some call the Unifier, because he united the hearts of all the people - was buried in an official state funeral some days.

Any rumours to the contrary are categorically false.

The Emir's Gaffe

During the recent state visit of Emir Jaiyan Ibn Sharev to Golden Baz'eel, the hapless ruler committed a dreadful breach of protocol that remains the subject of lurid gossip and speculation within the Sublime Garden.

The Parchment can EXCLUSIVELY reveal the indelicate blunder of the bungling baron.

During a morning Water Service, the Emir neglected to refer to our Beloved Sovereign by his just and rightful title 'Overthrower of Abuses and Scourge of Bad Governance', and furthermore wore a turban that was off colour to the mutually agreed Water Service Palette.

Osman, being benevolent and furthermore gracious, merely smiled at this outrageous breach of protocol. However, in the weeks which have followed, courtiers have grown to see a shocking reality. Far from an innocent blunder, Jaiyan Ibn Sharev, as is typical from those of his treasonous line, instead intended this omission as a calculated SNUB!?

Something simply must be done.

Useless Old Trees; Kindling for the Front!

A genius strategem has been devised upon the front in the hateful Scald. So great are the corpse-mounds of the barbarian dead, our brave boys have been complaining about the terrible stench of their rotting flesh.

The Tenth Legion to the rescue! The Parchment can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that the brave Tenth have settled upon an ingenous strategy of using the great KUSATMA to blow up some rotten, useless old trees (who heard of trees out there anyway?) in order to build orderly and handsome pyres - eliminating the twin scourges of Toxic Odour and litter in one fell swoop.

Keep it up, boys!

Inside Kusatma - A Welder's Tale

Serialized EXCLUSIVELY in the Parchment over the coming months- the true story of how one metallurgist with a dream took some battered old bronze and fashioned it into a wonder if Baz'eeli engineering - the fearsome KUSATMA, whose howls can be heard even as far as the Sublime Garden itself.

With nothing but his hands, his humble workshop and an uncompromising vision, Tairan ibn Ghalish tells all, in:

I AM BECOME DEATH, DESTROYER OF WORLDS

Azarmidokht Parties while World Burns

The Golden Vizier's depraved and decadent diversions continue, with the salacious sorceror hosting yet another masquerade ball while the brave Janissaries of Baz'eel's Fourth fight and die beneath the wicked heat of Pra'raj (some say at his cruel bidding). The venue? Our very own Osmani Canal!!!

The Parchment can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that Azarmidokht the Golden, using moneys embezzled from the illegal sack and occupation of our dear little sibling Arslan, has purchased a luxurious pleasure barge from which he hosts weekly debaucheries.

What is going on in there? Are slaves involved? Why is the Parchment not invited?

Whatever is happening, it can't be good. Baz'eel MUST seize and impound this bawdy barge.

Sorazin Bey Recalled to Baz'eel

The Parchment can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that Sorazin Bey, the tragic scion of the antique al-Komayyad clan and commander of the Fourth Legion, has been urgently recalled to the Sublime Garden for a private audience with our very own Sultan Osman the Sixth, Sultan of Baz'eel &c.

At the time of printing the Scribes are currently drafting an exquisite letter of invitation that will no doubt dazzle the benighted Bey, who is (in our humble opinion) sorely deserving of such a fantastic and mysterious honour!

Oops, did we spoil the surprise?!?

Silver Drake's Baby Feast in Occupied Arslan?!

Notorious turncoat and murderer 'Silver Drake', lately the Envoy of the Sordid Vizier, is rumoured to be participating in cannibalistic excesses as part of the ongoing tragedy of Arslan. The Parchment cannot print some of the more shocking reports it has received, but it would encourage shrewd subscribers to read between the lines and make up their own minds.

He has been furthermore rumoured to be kicking street dogs for sport, and has a perverted shrine to a notable member of the Sovereign Clan hidden in a filthy den he maintains in that City, which the Parchment can EXCLUSIVELY reveal has not been cleaned in months.

[DangerousDan]

In the early hours of the mornning, a gilded Ashsail was seen berthing at the Eagle's Mount, arrived from the direction of Baz'eel. A hobbling figure daubed in green was soon seen boarding the vessel, which set off without delay towards the Sublime Garden.