Messages

Taking a wee break. Will be back in the future. x

Gone from the 10th to the 12th or 13th!

Roadtrippin'!

Dear Chief Scribe Frederica Ashbury and Scribe Kulam Kulan,

I hope this message finds you well. On behalf of Apothar Zol Nur and Q'tolip's Tower, I am reaching out to discuss a potential project atop Eagle's Mount. Specifically, we are interested in the supply and installation of a "Sending Bellows Head."

For this endeavor, we are initially prepared to offer ten thousand dinari, though we remain open to adjustments based on your expert evaluation and the requirements you might identify. We would greatly appreciate it if you could provide us with a preliminary outline of what might be needed from our side to facilitate the completion of this project.

We truly value the work your organization carries out and are eager to enhance the cooperative relationship that exists between us. Looking forward to future collaborations and the mutual benefits they will bring.

Warmest regards,
Nadiri Selwyn Najm

it is all my fault

im sorry sally
im sorry fior
im sorry dudley

im sorry everyone

i had to make a decision
i did not make it
my indecision led to this

i do not deserve these robes
i failed

i have to do better.
i need to be better.

A small letter is cut and pasted to fit into the journal.



i just want to be loved

I believed I was losing pieces of myself every day; whether given freely, or taken away.

It is what I do. And that is what this place does.

I give and I give and I give...
and it takes and it takes and it takes and it takes and it takes and it takes.

Lost forever.

But perhaps that isn't true.

Maybe it has all gone to this other me.

Frigid indifference.

I will not let it consume me.

Selwyn Najm

I should have started something like this a long time ago. I hear it's a good way to get your thoughts in order.

But mine are so chaotic all the time.

It's easy to put on a smile, it doesn't take much to be kind. Sometimes, at least. Nobody likes a sourpuss, nobody likes someone who's sad all the time. Play the part, make them love you.

But why? What for?

Friend to all, ally to none. That's what he once told me. Truthfully, who can I actually, really, TRULY count on?

Everyone has an agenda. Everyone wants and needs something. The history of this place runs so deep, people carry vendettas, people hold grudges, people hate people.

I suppose it's far easier to focus on the negatives.. but that is all this place is. It's rotten to its core. I've seen it.

Oh, no. I know why I never wrote in a journal. This is far too lonely. Too sad.

Just talk to someone. That's a far better method. But who?

Who...

I constantly feel as if people hide things from me. Isn't that funny, though? Ironic? A Nadiri of the Tower, upset that they feel people conceal things from them.

Who gave me the right?

Al-Basri called me stupid today. I think she's right. Far too trusting, because I want to see the good in people. I need to.

But everyone does the wrong thing. Everyone is continuing to do the wrong thing. But is my judgement much better? My own greed has caused much turmoil.

So much wrong.

Don't lose that shine.

On and on.

But I am not strong.

[The letter is... stained. The handwriting is... frantic.]

starlight,

i want halim back
how do i bring him back
please help me