Messages

Taking a break from EFU

I should thank you. Really, I should. And I meant to, before the battle. I thought that at first that it was some cruelty you were performing. Some hidden slight, some little thing that you would laugh at while I made a fool of myself. But it wasn't, really. You thought you were helping, didn't you? You must have. And it worked out, ultimately. Not in the way that I might have thought, but better than I had hoped.

A drop of good, however, cannot wash away an ocean of rot. Think you that I am not aware of it? That you have concealed yourself from me? I see so much. I see the little twitches in your smile, the little tensing in your hands as you speak. I see where your eyes wander. I see it all.

But it's all right. It's nothing at all. I am used to worse from those who are more obvious about their hatred. Really, I think you do not hate me at all. You've always been kind to me, and I find that counts for more in my heart than any sensical considerations should.

I like you. That's why that I hope your death is painless. I hope that you don't even see it coming.

I hope that it is a stray blast of artillery. I hope that it is a spell which strikes you dead without your notice. I hope that it is a sudden gout of flame. I hope that you are torn limb from limb. I hope it is a burst of hyperphlogiston. Did you ask her about the thing she made? Do you even know how the mechanism works, how the pressurized fluid is contained, how electricity would make it ignite, did you listen did you care? Do you even care?

You must, I know you do. I know there is some strange mote of kindness that lingers in your heart. Why is it there? Have they not beaten it out of you? You are a flower in a desert. You are a better person than me, even after everything you have done. You are a liar, but you wear it on your face, and you are sincere. You are a better person than me and I should not hope for this. If Lynneth saw this she would realize what I am. If Mae saw this she would despise me. I should not selfishly reach for this dream I cannot hold. And yet, and yet, and yet and yet I fly towards the flame and I hope that you are killed by her flame, and I cry for thy death, thy death, thy death!

And I hope that when she hears of your burning, she weeps. When that happens, I will be there. She will know that everyone leaves, but that I remain, that I have always remained, that I will always remain. Can you say that? What you love is yourself. You don't know the meaning of sacrifice. You don't know the taste of it. You would not cut off your limb, your hand, even your little finger for the sake of a world which you might never live to see. You are marching to die for your personal glory. Die for it, then. It would be a mercy to me, in a way that you could never know.

And yet you will not die, will you? Fate is not kind to me. You will return, and I will see you again. And you will walk past me, and to Eagle's Mount, and you will sit there and look at the stars. And I will be happy for you, and kind to you, and allow it all to happen. I understand my role, don't you fret.

But is it so wrong, Mirielle, for the bound lamb to wish in her heart of hearts that someone might, just once, sacrifice herself for her?

[they drink hte sippy]

Estellise,

Firstly, let me apologize for bumping into you without so much as a 'hello' at the Krak des Roses. The circumstance, unfortunately, was not one where I was able to speak with you. Namely, I must express some dismay at the actions of your apprentice, Nadiri Zain al-Saiba.

As you know, I was in seclusion for some time recently - but when I heard over the bellows that Mae was expelling her apprentice, I came as quickly as I could - for I knew that she must have felt the sting of betrayal to take such a dire action, and that she would surely be grievously in pain.

I spoke to Mae, and began consoling her. She was distraught, as I had imagined, and wished to conceal her pain from her peers who surrounded her - indeed, Zenithar Oro arrived to chastise her, in a way that troubled and upset her. I was able to soothe her unpleasant feelings regarding Ashley's betrayal somewhat, and felt something of a thawing between us. Then, that Nadiri told me to leave, calling my commentary 'banal' and 'uninteresting.' He does not understand anything - not the pain of betrayal, not the pain of self-sacrifice, and yet he sought to chastise me before Mae. It ruined a fragile balance. The moment's connection was shattered.

Why would your Nadiri do this to me, Estellise? Surely you have not instructed him to do so - and surely he, as your right hand, knows of our shared desire to heal Mae's wounded heart. Some women might believe that you have said something to him which you would never say to me - but I trust you, and I know that you would never intend for something like this to happen if you knew about it. Please, as I have helped you by counseling my wayward Acolytes, help me by counseling this wayward Nadiri.

P.S. Welly Wormswill was, as always, utterly kind to me in the face of such hostility. If there is an Epoch of Kindness, I dare say that he should receive a recommendation for it.

I remain, as ever, your best friend,
Hypatia

Best friend.

What does that mean, best friend? What is owed to a best friend? What does a best friend owe in turn? What are my responsibilities? Is this just a means to stay close to me? Is it another dance? Another game that you like to play (but I am a piece, not a player, so who is this for) and why the game? This is your understanding of what we are and so we must continue this little dance like this, because if there was no dance there would be nothing, as I am nothing and so there is nothing for you to hold onto, nothing at all to be kind to. Are you being kind? Is this kindness? Should I feel anything from this game you play?

You are going to change soon, and the contradictions are going to deepen. The farce is going to be plain, or plainer than it is, and I am just your doll which you are growing tired of, have grown tired of, have grown frightened of have lost interest in, and I can feel the world changing and yet you treat me the same, but it is not the same at all, and I can see it, and so can you, and so can you, and yet you both treat me like this and that is the dance, that is this little game you play and I do not know if I would have preferred the truth to the lie. Can we do this forever? We must be able to. I must be able to, or I would be insufficient.

But I know it is a lie. I am owed the truth and you tell me only lies, and I know they are lies, and you know that I know. Do you think me a hypocrite? Perhaps you do. You must think me so, but whose fault is that? You wanted so desperately to know. Now I am here. Have you ever given that a single thought? I am this because of you. Now I am here, and you are high, rising higher still, soon as high as you shall go - and it is all because of the moment where you decided how much you wanted to know, and what you would give for it.

You understand the meaning of sacrifice. I understand what it means to be sacrificed. That, then, is what 'best friend' means.

Gone for a week starting Friday

i'm in favor of this, though if carry weight for dead bodies is lessened it becomes easier for mages to carry bodies which might be an unintended design thing. though 20-30 lbs is still pretty rough on a wizard, and the ac penalty would still be bad even if ab penalty is less so

Yes please

Margarethe,

We should meet, without the interruption of friends.

It is a matter concerning the future.

It is also a matter concerning Mae Stern.

This is the most important question for me right now.

Name a place and I will be there.

Hypatia

I like the idea of Combat Casting working like Weapon Finesse for touch attacks, makes the feat a more viable option to pick IMO

<3 i enjoyed alejandro's arc from idealistic storyteller to a slow tarnish from how the world affected him. gonna miss him, but looking forward to your next too

Syter's Slys

akna...

i'll miss her a lot

cosine was such a well characterized guy, i really enjoyed bantering with him when we ended up running into each other

[1,564]

Thank you for requesting an aesthetician's assessment of your furnishings.

Based on calculations, your property: Eagle's Mount ranked at 1,564 points.

Your aesthetician, Sister Hypatia, included the following notes:

It's coming together, but the balance of the room is off. Try to make sure you're using the whole space, and consider what furnishings match the color scheme of the room and the theme that you're going for.

We hope you will consider us in the future for your aesthetic needs.

The Furnishings Board of Ephia's Well