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[Left in the Kha'esh embassy.]

Argent,

I heard the bellow you made. The consideration given by your company surprised me, but I thank you nonetheless.

Within a couple of days, Haldar and I will be moving to Kha'esh for the time being. Seek me out at the caravanserai when you are about and we can talk.

Cordially,
Zina Zizzo

// Hit me up on Discord for a time – I'll likely not be online very often in the near future.

[Entry VIINisah 24, IY 7789]

Entry VII
Nisah 24, IY 7789

Tasnim, Tasnim, Tasnim...

What happened to you? What changed you so utterly?

Whatever did I do to deserve this treatment, why did you turn on me like this? You used to believe in me, have faith in me. And I was well on my way to becoming a better woman. I feel I still am – even though it will be harder without your guidance.

But who will guide you? Who will wake you up from those ridiculous, ludicrous White dreams full of self-deceit and self-righteousness? I thought you were better than that. Do you not see their hypocrisy? How they shut their eyes to the atrocities of la Banda Rossa, even defend them, while acting all high and noble? How they pretend to be champions of freedom while enslaving others with their drugs? How they ask you to trust them while hoarding Gellema knows what secrets within the darkness of their vaults?

I suppose you felt you had to fit in. You felt defending me was too hard when so many White tongues wearing red and black were saying bad things about me. Guilt by association. Argent, Dante. Dante, Argent.

Or maybe you could not accept, after all, what I confessed to you. The sins I really did commit, such as they were. If that is what happened... what does it tell about you, hmm? You claim to be a priestess, you preach forgiveness and new life... but then when someone in need of all that turns to you and confesses their sins? You are horrified. You lose faith. At just the moment when they most need your faith.

I do not know exactly what happened, Tasnim, but I do know that you are a terrible priestess.

You abandoned your one convert, betrayed the one believer who needed you the most.

Out of town this weekend, back on Sunday.

I will also be mostly unavailable IG from Jan 29 until Feb 7 due to a holiday trip. Really awkward timing if Zina happens to win the election... but that is not up to me, and we will cross that bridge when we get there. I will make arrangements.

[Entry VINisah 22, IY 7789]

Entry VI
Nisah 22, IY 7789

They are all so jealous. JEALOUS.

I should have known.

It does not matter what I say or do... they will still do their utmost to thwart me because I am too rich and powerful for their liking. Even though I am also the most charitable person in Ephia's Well. I am the richest AND the most charitable. What does that say about me, hmm? Did you ever think about that, you idiots?

It was always my fate, I suppose. One does not get this far in life without making enemies. These naysayers, bristling with rage, green with jealousy, they will never be happy unless I lose everything and become a beggar. Ten thousand! Twenty thousand! Thirty, forty, fifty! It does not matter how much I FREELY DONATE AWAY from that which I have EARNED WITH LEGAL AND HONEST WORK – to them, it is NEVER enough.

The hypocrites. If they really cared about those paupers? They would be happy for all I do, like that Tryggvi was. He swallowed his pride so the poor could have more. He earned my respect.

But the others, they do not want the poor to be richer, no, not really. They want ME to be POOR. And POWERLESS.

I will show them. Yes, I will show them... they will learn. It is better to have Zina Zizzo as a friend than an enemy!

But in my all-encompassing charity, I will not resort to underhanded means, nor will I destroy them utterly. By the Mother's grace, I have become a good person of noble character, and I intend to become better still.

I will only humiliate them so badly that they will never forget.

[Entry VNisah 11, IY 7789]

Entry V
Nisah 11, IY 7789

Saint Zina

(oh gods I like the sound of it)

St. Zina the Charitable

(oh gods I am blushing now)

Our Lady of Ephia's Well

(Wheel above, that... that could be it...!)

[Entry IVNisah 5, IY 7789]

Entry IV
Nisah 5, IY 7789

It happened. I did it. I am now a daughter of B'aara... against all odds.

I said in the ceremony that I was very clear about what I had done, but I am not sure if that was entirely true. I have a feeling that everything is going to be much harder than I can even begin to imagine. Not least because so many people doubt me.

And why should they not? I doubt myself too. Unlike me, they are doing the rational thing.

Even Tasnim said she doubted me before she saw my... what did she call it... "guileless look"? Hearing that hurt me. It hurt me that after everything I had confessed, she still thought I could be manipulating her. Telling her those things was, professionally speaking, the absolutely stupidest thing I have ever done – she could ruin me if she wanted to. What possible gain could it have brought me? It was just plain irrational. And still I did it, just to show I was "sincere". And to earn "forgiveness". Gods, how I hate those words...

But it hurt me in another way too.

It hurt me because I had not put on that guileless look.

I want to be angry with myself for how foolishly I am behaving. Am I losing my touch? There is the charity, too. Another ten thousand dinari, down the hole, I will never see any of it again. And did anybody even care? Do I have to go bankrupt before somebody starts caring?

Well, that is not quite right. Manijeh cared. She looked like she might faint when she saw all that money disappear.

Tasnim cared too. She had thought she would be getting the money. Oh, the irony.

What would Manta think of me now? Would he care?

Manta...

I am not sure if you were really quite as good a person as everyone seems to think – but maybe you just put on a little greed and ruthlessness sometimes, just for me, to please me. You liked to please people. I was probably not a very good influence in that regard.

Or maybe I did it to you. You were so eager and innocent in the beginning, like a starry-eyed puppy that would come back to its owner no matter how many times it was kicked and beaten. Eventually, you changed. Was it just for show? Or did I break something in you?

If I did... I am sorry. I can't fix it anymore. I can't fix even myself.

I guess it is a start that I want to.

Sort of.

[NeedForGreed / Fiordelise Foscari]

We have had polls like this on Discord, but I always felt it was sad how quickly they were buried under other messages. So I just want to take the time to say a few grateful words to a number of players who in my opinion deserve special recognition this year and/or contributed significantly to my fun here!

In no particular order:

NeedForGreed / Fiordelise Foscari

You poured an immense amount of effort into this character who did exactly what a good and kind priestess should be doing. I know it was rough at times for a number of reasons, and the dearth of tangible results may have felt depressing to you. But I want you to know that at least to me, the world felt more real and alive thanks to your consistently terrific RP – made all the more impressive by your being new to the server. I have a feeling that Manijeh will be at least as interesting!

Dan Orcshein / Haldar Steelheart

Another thing that makes the game world feel more real to me is when characters have goals and dreams that do not involve just ambition in its various forms but are about friends, family, love, all those small everyday things which mean so much in real life too. Besides that, I think bards are really the most important characters of all because they tell the stories of others and of the world at large. And Haldar does just that.

big metal rod (Dragon's Dogma) / Argent Argyris

Probably the most talked-about PC of the latter half of the year, and for good reason. Just an all-around great PC, incredibly magnetic. The stuff you pulled off with him kept amazing me and was a delight to watch, at first from the sidelines, then a little closer. I wonder if Argent still has something more in store for Ephia's Well...

Stranger / Dante Moretti

My favourite schemer and slick politician. I would have missed out on so much fun without you/him. I hope he keeps being the Well's #1 mafio— People's Man even with Fiordelise taking a break. The League of Gold would be much less interesting without him.

Rhipose / Manta Wholt

Every boss needs loyal henchmen. Manta always filled that role admirably – I just wish you would come back soon! Besides that, the amount of thought you put into characterisation is staggering... and you always remember weaknesses, too. Manta is terrific <3

Ziya / Balstan Gloamingdaith & Seriyah al-Setareh

All the scholarly creative writing you have done on both of these characters improves the depth and richness of the game world in a way that is normally the domain of talented DMs. And on top of that is the primer you wrote and illustrated for new players. I have no idea how often you hear thanks for these things, but in all likelihood, not often enough. So: thank you. The characters themselves were/are memorable too and always fun to interact with!

NOD/Elara

I love the long and candid conversations Zina occasionally has with Elara. Elara is one of those characters who tend to fade into the background (often very literally!) but without whom much would be lost. I appreciate the effort you have put into Elara's personality and characterisation. She is always a joy to be around :)

Solipso / Cogsworth Clockhand

Every town needs a mad scientist. I love your creativity and consistent RP – you also clearly put a lot of effort into your quirky concepts. And sometimes, when the gods smile on your ideas in game, we get new and wonderful toys to play with. I am glad Cogs has a workshop again!

* * *

The problem with these lists is that they can never be exhaustive. If I did not mention your PC here but you expected me to, please forgive me! I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to interact with my PCs, no matter when and for how long!

OK, I wrote more entries than I thought I would, and now I hope you will do the same!

[Entry IIIAdar 23, IY 7788]

Entry III
Adar 23, IY 7788

I think I understand now where these sudden and inexplicable urges to be "charitable" come from. I should have known. It is all B'aara's fau

I have been blessed by B'aara. Praise be!

Al-Leyla says I should not be alarmed by this turn of events. She says it is a good thing, that it means I am becoming more attuned with the Mother already. It comes as no surprise to me that She would take a special interest in me – She is a goddess, after all, and I will be an extremely valuable convert. A fine acquisition, in other words. It is reassuring to know that B'aara has such good business sense.

However, al-Leyla also says that excess charity is not in accordance with Her wishes – that She does not wish to make us destitute – and I have to say, I was very relieved to hear that part, too. But how can I be sure that Her understanding of "destitute" is the same as mine? I felt very impoverished with just 12,000 in my pocket. I counted around 40,000 just now, which feels much more comfortable, but what if B'aara thinks it is still too much! Mother, have mercy. Please understand my special position and circumstances.

In fact, I shall write a proper prayer – maybe some good old black-on-white is more likely to reach Her attention than just words thought or whispered in solitude.

O Mother, I, Zina Zizzo, Your most valuable investment in Ephia's Well, do make this humble request to You: please show some restraint in granting me Charity! It is in neither Your nor my interests to make me go bankrupt. If You bless me with just enough charity to make everyone like me and love me, (and to make cretins like Sayburgh shut the hell up), I can still live in wealth and comf show Your glory and splendour in my private life and keep sharing the fruits of my labour far into the future. In my field of business, it is called a win-win situation. You would know about it, I am sure, since Your business is being a goddess. I think this is a deal we can both agree on? Thus I pray in Your name.

Like from the pen of a nun. I would have made a fine priestess, I think. Maybe I should consider branching out?

Out of town from the 23rd till the 27th. Merry Christmas!

[Entry IIAdar 21, IY 7788]

Entry II
Adar 21, IY 7788

If Haldar ever happened to read this diary, would he be upset that he was not mentioned in the first entry?

Haldar. Sweet Haldar, whose words would make the moon blush and the sun to hide her face... now I have mentioned you thrice. And I do not think I will stop at that!

But does it mean something? Is it somehow significant that I wrote about money first and love only second?

What if Haldar asked me that dreadful question? If he asked me which I would choose if I had to... my money or him?

But that is ridiculous. It is a silly question, he would never ask it.

First of all, I will never have to choose. I have never been an either-or kind of person but rather a both-and person. I do not make hard choices – I take it all. That is one reason for my success. I think he knows.

And secondly, Haldar, my love, I hope you were never in any serious doubt that I would always and in every conceivable case choose my money.

But of course I would never tell you that because I do not want to hurt you. I am, after all, a kind soul, a gentle and soft-hearted person. And a romantic.

I do not want to hurt you... because I care about you.

And do you see? Do you realise what that means?

The fact that I would choose my money over you... when you really think it through, actually it just proves how much I love you!

[Entry IAdar 19, IY 7788]

Entry I
Adar 19, IY 7788

So this is what poverty feels like.

I am doomed.

I went through my liquid assets and found out, to my utmost dismay, that I only had around 12,000 dinari in cash. What on earth has happened? By all the Sages and Spokes. I used to know the virtue of frugality. I used to have at least 30,000 on me at all times – for sudden emergencies, of course, like a torn dress or an ex tempore five-course dinner.

What am I now, a spendthrift? I can hardly believe it!

Well, I know of course. I know what has happened. It is this charity thing. Gods, I thought I would never get used to it, but now it seems I am too used to it? Am I going crazy? Should I see a priest? Wait, I am seeing a priest. And she is very good, not at all like that other one who was trying to guilt-trip me all the time. But is it helping? No. I should mention this. It could be some terrible affliction of the mind.

But it feels good. Why does it feel good to throw money away? It makes no sense! It is so foolish. Yes... I am probably ill. Mother, have mercy.

I suppose I should just have faith. I know not how or why, but I have noticed that whenever caravaneers of the Well die or disappear, not long afterwards, some fresh blood tends to arrive in town – with fresh needs which my Emporium is very happy to tend to. It is puzzling. As if there was some cosmic scale that ensured a steady population of adventurers here in the desert.

Now, I do not wish for anybody's death, of course not, but maybe they could hurry up that Scalding? Is it too much to ask for? The campaign has been going on for months. Arslan did not take that long. That was the kind of war I appreciate: quickly waged, quickly over, people go and people come, thank you very much. I am just saying, if people are going to die anyway, why must it take so long? A little sooner would be better? It is awful when the inevitable just drags on and on and on.

Zina Doomed-Purse, that should be my name. Oh, Mother, have mercy.

[Beneath an ornate, gilded cover, written on the first page in expensive and very, very accusing red ink:]

To whichever rascally scoundrel laid their hands on this book, which is obviously a fine woman's private diary:

Shame on you! Fie on you! What would your mother say? Are you proud of yourself? Does it bring you great pleasure, nay, titillating satisfaction, to sneak a forbidden peek into the innermost thoughts of a bourgeois lady?

Well, then. Read on, my uninvited guest. Read on, and know that someone, somewhere, is surely shaking their head at you with thinly veiled contempt.

Because of all the things you could have been, you chose to be a Peeping Tom.

I hope that you at least enjoy what you read.

I enjoyed all the interactions I had with Balstan, fewer though they were than I would've liked... and I still remember how he sponsored Zina's trading license when she was just beginning her mercantile career. I loved in particular his scarce but shrewd political commentary over the bellows. (And that says a lot because generally I hate politics over the bellows!)

RIP.

Dear Marcellus,

I hope this letter finds you in good health.

It occurs to me that this is the first letter I have ever written to you. Our business relationship has always been mutually profitable and I greatly respect you as a person; therefore, I must apologise that the first lines I write to you are about nothing very pleasant.

It has come to my attention that the vizier of your league, signorina Lestrange, has been spreading lies about my sayings in her latest issue of the propaganda outlet Folio Fortuna. You were there when I relayed Legate Moretti's message to the Purple Legate – you overheard the same things, and thus you know she is lying. You know there was no proposition concerning the fate of all the workers.

This is the kind of person you are working with now. You are trusted, Marcellus – many people still look up to you – and so I humbly request you to take appropriate action. If you keep your silence as a witness and let these lies persist, I cannot tell you how disappointed I would be. Will you stand up for the truth? Or do you believe that a high-ranking member of your league has the right to say any falsehoods they like if it only serves to undermine another league?

Show me you are a man of integrity. Again, my sincere apologies that I must write to you about such an unpleasant matter.

I wish you all the best.

Sincerely
Zina Zizzo

Cara Fiordelise, dear all,

It is a lie by our political opponents – I never said such a thing and Dante never suggested such a thing.

This will be addressed if it ever comes up. I do not think it wise to cry out whenever a new lie is forged; it would merely give them undue attention.

ZZ