Adar 11th, IY 7788
I...think I should have started this months ago. I have been taking notes on many things, and almost everything that I am learning thus far, but...I never stopped to think about writing for myself. So...maybe today is the day.
I find myself thinking back to the first days I arrived. Lost. Alone. Scared. The only thing I had was Agaslakku at the start, so I had to perservere. Through a lot of hardship, I found a home. And with Dwarves too!
But...that was months ago. It almost feels like a liftime now, and things are hard. A lot has happened you see. Obviously you know. I just need to find my footing again. I have to think, what would Agaslakku do? To be strong, stand tall and proud, and find the victory from defeat.
It's just...I feel so defeated. But, when you look back on this day. You'll be so happy you didn't give up. I promise. Katya said..."Sunrise always comes." I can't wait for this cold night to pass. I want to see the sunlight again...
[A drop falls upon the page.]
Do you think that Rhuk and Colmes get lonely too? That they wish that someone would give them a hug? I think they do...I'll be strong. For us all. The flame has to keep burning.
Flame preserve you...me.
Adar 12th, IY 7788
Today was...okay, and not okay at the same time. This morning, when I woke up I was afraid to face Durgin. To have him look at me wearing the Rose cloak. Some in the Duunthall are really mad at me, and with good reason I suppose...I think I can help us more this way. The Sisters say they will help us find the heir, and...I believe them. Though, I've been told I believe people too easily.
Turns out...Durgin didn't hate me, or maybe he just always did? I don't really know. He never uses the word 'Agaslakku'. It's always 'Murderer'. I guess that's fair though...but, in my eyes, Durgin is still one of the best Warriors I have ever seen. He sacrificed himself for us today, for the Duunthall, for me. He -
He was exiled. I spoke with Sister Zoe...she told me when I asked that people can come back from being exiled. It's rare, but...it's happened. That's my hope at least. Sometime to strive for, like a Priest of the Warrior should. Always looking up. Trying to find the victory in defeat...so this is mine.
He gave me something though. He gave me his Voice. I will treasure this, and I hope in time. When everything is okay again, I can hand it back to him as he steps off the Ash-sail and back onto the Eagles Mount. Maybe I would even hug him too! He might not like that though.
The nice thing is...the Jannisarys are kind to me out on the Scald. I appreciate them, and I think we all should. They do really hard work, and I think they feel that most people don't like them. They're just trying to protect people. Like me!
Anyways, it's late. Aurelio snores really loud though. Oh! And his closet smells like Sandalwood. Don't forget that, it's really nice. The sun is slowly starting to rise again, but maybe clouds will form on the horizon. I'll just have to keep burning to see it.
Flame preserve me.
Oh! A little note; I think the world would be a much better place if people hugged more.
Adar 13th, IY 7788
Sometimes Sarek can be SUCH a fool. Why, why would he bring up Crowbell. Calling me 'Pearl'. That wasn't very nice...Ugh, he's so annoying sometimes. But...he is like a brother to me. And brothers can be SO dumb and annoying.
It was Aurelio who actually came to comfort me, and he told me kind words of a person he once loved, and...it did help. It eased the pain a bit, something he said was; 'You simply learn to live with it, become numb to it'. He's right. There are many people I love. Ulfgrim. Durgin. Even you, Crowbell. I guess, you just have to live with it. I...keep the dead in my heart and my memories, they are a part of this flame that keeps me going.
Though, Aurelio did say something kind of irritating. I'll just...try to move past it. That 'You'd make a good priest of B'aara.' I don't think he meant any harm by saying it. Maybe it's a test from my Lord. I am a proud Priest of the Warrior, if a bit unconventional.
---
I told Rhuk some things about the tendrils at the War Camp. I'm starting to think that it may not be related to the Duunthall at all, and this is something else. A being from Lake Rayyan itself. The Sisters told me that there was something there. When I spoke to the Marishyen, there was a cold breeze that came from the lake when I brought up the tendrils...just maybe...it isn't the presence that followed us hurting people, but that thing inside of Lake Rayyan? I guess it doesn't matter, people are hurt, and I need to help them.
I know some people would tell me to stop talking to the Jannissary, that some of them are just rotten. But, I don't think Rhuk is..all the time at least. I joke to my self that he is like a prickly thorn, if you rub him one way he's really soft, but the other way and it can hurt a lot. Maybe he can still help me. I put my trust in him, so we will see how that goes.
He did tell me not to use my blessings on people who want to duel. I...feel bad, but it's what is fair. Agaslakku would frown on me if I did do that again. Got to learn from my mistakes, I'll stay out of the way of people wanting to duel each other, and merely watch. Be the eyes of the Warrior and praise the victor.
That time was different though...it was Crowbell fighting, and it was outside of the Well, it was the one who followed the Ninth...I didn't know if he would kill him or not. I had never seen a duel before in these times. Everything back then was so new...
---
I found out something I already knew though, in a way. We all are fighting wars inside of ourselves. That is what a Priest of Agaslakku does. They help with those wars, the ones on the inside. The ones people don't see. I'll do my best to be the warm campfire they can come to in the cold night. Though, a healer cannot heal, unless they heal themselves first.
What is broken...
Flame preserve me.
Adar 14th, IY 7788
Ulfgrim got hurt yesterday in a raid. The Brass Vandal clan...that was the Clan that killed his daughter. Loreli. I think he wanted to avenge her. Which is understandable. Who wouldn't want to bring an inferno of wrath upon those who hurt you, took something from you, broke a piece of you...I tended his wounds as best I can, but...the healing now is up to him.
Afterwards, Durgin pulled me aside to speak to me. Telling me that joining the Rose would ask a lot of me. Questioning my position there based on the words the Agaslakku told me so long ago. He told me not to lose who I am, and to not let others take hold of the 'chisel and hammer' and shape me into something I didn't have a hand in...
For how much he says he hates my faith, that he wants to kill it...by all means he should hate me. I'm sure he does, in some ways, but puts up with me for the Quest. Though, some part of me, deep down thinks that this was a small, tiny way, of him showing that maybe he does care though. He cares about me. Though, Durgin would NEVER admit that.
[There are some drawings of hearts and axes floating around the above paragraph. Especially around a name.]
---
We got to go to the Tower to the west. Thanks Lyceus! Vae Mojem. I have no idea why people keep calling it 'Vajay Mojo'. That sounds gross. Supposedly some wizard lived there, a potent Cryomancer I would imagine. Aurelio and Sarek were there, and Sarek always jumps to the Courts first thing he sees. I guess that makes sense, considering his past. The Court of Light and Water. Oh! The items we found there will be super useful in the Scalding War! The 'Mupps' as people are calling them, are really weak to ice, and there's plenty of ice-related items inside!
Two things of note; the first was that Aurelio prepared a spell. No one has ever cast it on me before. Granted, not many can, but it was a spell to protect another, and he used it on me. That gesture was not lost upon me. Neither was Baelerie, she protected me from the strange creatures that walked the Tower of Vae Mojem. I should thank her again.
The second is that the others may be right. In one of the rooms was a large statue, it looked undead in nature, but the others didn't seem to think so. I've always been fascinated by undead, spirits that linger for some unknown reason. Usually unfinished business. I would help them, finish their business I mean. A flame in the dark draws many things near I find. I've spoken to the dead before, it's not that far fetched of an idea to offer it now. My thoughts are a mess clearly. Basically, the statue is 'haunted', but not by undead. By the Courts, and Aurelio wants to return with the Sisters to consecrate it. So, guess that'll happen soon.
I just wish I could have stayed there a bit longer. Catch snow on my tongue, you have to do that of course. It's a classic from where I am from, a distinct memory of cold mountains and catching snow upon it. But, it was the sky really. The air was cold, aye, but the sky was so clear. Stars dotting and sparkling like beautiful dots of far off journeys and unknowns. I could have stared at it for hours, it would have been really nice with a cup of hot chocolate. - Wait, does the Well have Chocolate?! I should find out. - But, it would be nice to sit with someone else there too. And just...think?
---
The Quest to find the Heir of Got Valdhazr continues. The first order of business is finding a way to 'un-exile' Durgin. I think if we, the Duunthall, continue to show how important he is and useful to the Well. We might be able to save him, and he could come home back to the Well and see me us again!
I could also try asking the Sisters, but with the newly sprung up tower of ice. They might be busy. It never hurts to ask though.
---
We raided against the Orcs today too! Once super early in the morning before bed, and one later in the evening the next day. Cort had a funny sending, it made me laugh. Cort's a great guy. He's really tall with those long legs of his, but he has a beard. Beards look great on men. He looks great.
That's beside the point...as the day got worse. Real bad.
The...raid was bad. Durgin, Vellyn, Ulfgrim, Cort, and Sister Zoe were all hurt. There was a flurry of fireballs at the top of the mountain fort. The people I care about keep getting hurt, and I'm not sure Durgin will recover well from this...how can he? They won't let him do tasks in the Well to regain his strength. So what does that mean? Slowly...but surely I am coming to the realization. If we don't do something soon and...somehow un-exile him...he's going to die out here.
I think I should just go to bed now...
I can't lose him.
Flame...preserve us.
Adar 15th, IY 7788
I forgot my journal in the Hall of the Duunthall when I went on my Pilgrimage of Fire. It went quite well though. But there were some things that I did want to write. Let me try to get my thoughts from my mind to the quill and paper.
It was odd...getting the map to Vae Mojem. It kind of fell out of the sky, literally. There were some flashing of lights and then it dropped. Santiago, a new arrival to the Well, said that it was almost as if the Tower was calling to me? That's...silly. I have no claims to ice or anything of the sort. From the past times I've gone, it seems related to the courts of Light and Water, but...I'm not entirely sure.
I'm just glad I get to take people with me. Everyone has to follow the tradition when seeing snow. What is it? You must stick your tongue out, tilt your head back, and catch the falling snowflakes upon your tongue. Just...don't eat yellow snow. Cogs told me that, it's good advice.
---
I was thinking, that maybe some powerful conjurors could teleport Durgin out of the Scald, and nearby the Tower of Vae Mojem. Greydon told me that it wasn't possible, it was too far. It would be really, really powerful magic though. Vilia even tested it out for me, that was so nice of her.
Cort suggested a few things, that I could rent a private ash-sail to drop him off outside the Well, and then take him back. I bet that'd be really expensive. Or to pay a Captain to make an extra stop somewhere before the Eagle's Mount, but...I don't know if a Janissary would do that.
One can dream, sorry Durgin. I tried, and even he thinks that there isn't a way, but...I won't give up just yet. We'll find a way to free you from the Scald somehow. To un-exile you. You've got friends here in the Well, people that still care.
---
I saw The Elder today. He looked away from me, scowling as I glanced at him when I went to record some information on the Ancestor gods. I...think, no I know he hates me. Part of me worries that he will do what Durgin wanted to do when he was upset, which was to burn down the Hall. I don't think he will though...It's hard to fix years of hatred, it takes time, but...I'd be willing to mend it with the warm flame and forge something new.
Oh! Also, a little reminder Aldric wanted to speak with me. I should find time for him.
Flame preserve me.
Adar 16th, IY 7788
I went to the Valley today. The Black Ichor is still running rampant. I've always believed that good and evil is like a scale. One cannot exist without the other, overabundance in one causes an imbalance and the other rushes to meet it. The Peak is an example of this. Light, attracts dark. For the absence of light, is nothingness, but shadows can't exist without light. It's just something to think about.
The good thing though, is I found my third leaf from the small sapling atop the Mount. I swear, I think it got bigger from when I visited it last time. It seems to be growing. The prayers of warmth and strength I whisper to it are beginning to take shape. The sapling itself thanks me with a gift each time and I treasure them dearly.
[There is an ink-stamp of three leaves on the page. Likely the ones taken from the Sapling atop the Black Ichors' Peak.]
---
We, the Duunthall, got to speak to the Warmaster for a bit. There might be hope for us in un-exiling Durgin. We just have to keep pressing on. Keep moving forward despite all the hits we are taking, we have to find the heir. With Durgin being in the Scald, it's hard to do that. But, I believe still, we will keep adding logs to the flame, my friends and allies, and we'll keep doing good!
It...it just won't be easy. Boltha has gone. Left to go East in search of the heir. She said her farewells and went on her way. I keep staring at the box she has in the Hall. Staring at the name engraved upon it. It's not hard, since it's right there across from me. 'Boltha Hammersong'. I hope she is well and okay wherever she goes. She said she would write to me when she got somewhere, or if she found anything about the Prince. I guess...time will tell. I hope you find victory Boltha. I'll pray for you.
And...thank you. For when the rest of the Dwarves were cruel to me when I arrived, you were kind. I'll never forget that. I...think I'll revisit the first place we met in honour of you.
---
I got to speak with Drugg about being Agasian. He asked me what it was like five millennia ago for me, and why am I Agasian. There were all great questions. For the most part, though, I don't really remember much from the past. I know I got these awful scars from the flames back then. Makes it hard to walk sometimes, and painful too... I don't think many notice that though.
So, why am I Agasian? Well, it's because I want to inspire, I want to lift others up, I want to show them that they can forge themselves into what they want to be. I want to heal their hurts, to strengthen them, to encourage them. I want them to see the glory, to feel victory, and to know honour.
It felt nice to talk about faith again after what feels like so long. I love many people dearly, and I am in love with a few, but my truest love is for Him. For He has always been there, at every step of my journey.
Agaslakku.
---
Today was a good day. I smiled. I laughed. I teared up. But...most importantly, we survived. We live to fight another day. We persevere. He lives. I live.
I perservere.
Flame preserve me.
Adar 18th, IY 7788
It's been really nice to watch the Agasians grow in strength. Cort is getting so strong, and not only that, but he's a really good person too. He helps me carry heavy things to the Hall when I can't carry them. Which is often.
Dudley, the incredible woman she is, is always an inspiration. I've always found with a cleric, or Speaker, that follows a Gods aspect, or domain. It's fairly clear what part of Agaslakku's domains she follows. But, besides that. She has honestly been such a source of support and inspiration. I remember my first days here she was there, encouraging me, and teaching me. I like to think she's proud of me for the man, and Speaker, that I have become through time.
---
Honestly, as of right now nothing too crazy is happening. Which in some ways is a good thing. It's important, especially so, in times of war to find the moments of peace as one makes ready for more war. On that note, the Scalds progress seems to be going well. I'm doing my best to help Durgin, keeping him afloat and what not. I also need to look out for Ulfgrim. He often gets wounded as he triest to find his place on the field. I think he wants to stand side by side with Durgin at the front, but we all have our roles in battle. His is not there, it's just slightly behind Durgin.
What else is there? Oh, there was another expedition to the Tower of Vae Mojem. That's always fun! I wish Cort could have gone, but I think he went to bed. The Sisters took me on a sacred Rite to Kula. That was wonderful to be a part of. I should search around the Nusrum for something of note to Agaslakku. Perhaps I too, one day, can lead Agasians to the sacred places and hold ritual for them there too!
Still though, we, or at least I, wait for the Sisters to receive some form or portent or divination from their dreams about the heirs' whereabouts. I believe that the Orcs of the Scald have the Prince of Got Valdhazr somewhere in their clutches. It's just a matter of where. Boltha...she gave me the swaddle that we retrieved from our excursion at the Scald. The Sisters can use that as a sort of tether? I guess. To better locate the heir, it's mostly a waiting game for the next crumb in the trail to pop up for the Duunthall.
Don't worry Prince, we'll save you!
---
[There's a bunch of doodles around four names in particular; Durgin, Ulfgrim, Cort, and Aurelio. Some with floating axes and hearts scribbled around their names. Other various doodles show things like campfires and hearths.]
In a few days time, Durgin has requested me to perform a ritual to the Warrior. I'm looking forward to it, but I don't know if I should be. I hope it's him taking ownership of his mark, or something to that effect. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
It's just important to keep smiling, be strong, and spread warmth. I believe that everything will work out, and my Lord will bring me the victory that I deserve.
Flame preserve me.
Adar 19th, IY 7788
I got to go for a whole bunch of exploring today. Some friends; Selwyn, Elara, Regina, Kazadun, Cort and I wandered around the Spindlebridge. Regina is really interested in learning more about the world we live in. I got to get a translation of the Pillars of Wisdom in the so-called Valley of Wisdom. Very well named I might add.
It was a lot of fun! I was even bold enough to ask Cort out on a date. Though, I didn't tell him it was a date. I don't know though, asking someone to go stargazing with you does kind of sound like a date... I doubt he knows it is one. I bet he thinks it's just two bros hanging out or something, oh well. If it is that, it's not the worst thing in the world. If anything it will bring us closer as friends.
---
Then in the evening, more exploration! We got to go to the Ruinous Road. Of which I am still searching for those bones of Yffrid Cawr. I swear the sixth one does not exist. I've been searching for them for so long. It's supposed to be some sort of healer pilgrimage, and I can't even do it. Though, Dudley says challenges like these are perfect for an Agasian. I agree, we will continue to strive for victory, thus I will continue to search for the final shard. During the morning search, I could have sworn I heard it near the Broken Spires...but I am not sure.
But! We found this mirror, and once making it past by saying a passphrase, we found a wizard and his three daughters. Apparently, Phinelio has been working on a way to rouse the girls from their dreams. It was more like they were having a vivid nightmare of sorts as they were moving around a lot, and their faces looked like they were in discomfort.
---
I managed to pay off Ulfgrim's debt. He is no longer indebted to Dante and if he so chooses, could be free of the Gold. Of course, it's all his choice now, but it feels good to free a member of the Duunthall and one of my closest. No, my best friend.
He did say to me there were much better things to spend my dinar on, but what is better than buying freedom? Very little. Plus, Agasians care little for coin. Show me a beautiful blade and that will get me drooling.
---
Now, we're going to go defend the camp in the Scald, then tend to the Tower of Vae Mojem. Aurelio wants to strike out at it whenever the ice thaws. He wants to weaken the Djinn trapped inside the statue every chance he gets. I believe it is beginning to work.
I wonder if Rhuk and Colmes like steak? Maybe I should treat them to some when I get the chance. Being a Janissary does not look like easy work.
Overall, things are starting to look up. I can stand near a flame and smile now. Let us hope it stays this way for a while.
Flame preserve me.
Adar 24th, IY 7788
It's been a while since I've had a moment to myself to just sit and collect my thoughts. This 'Wintermas' has been very busy. I've been taking the logs from the Tower of Vae Mojem and using them to set up campfires along the desert for the weary wanderers to rest at. Agaslakku's flames provide shelter and warmth for many. In a few days, I will have to undertake the pilgrimage again for a few days before everything settles down again.
---
When I came back, Ulfgrim called together an offence against the Orcs in the Scald.It went quite well, though there were a few near injuries during the battle. We had to scale the wall with grapples, and I do not like doing that. Agaslakku gives us many challenges. Climbing is one of mine, it's the worst. I like my feet on the ground, preferably stone too.
From there, we moved to aid the defence in the Scald. It was incredible. Full of action and danger. Adrahesis, the Hound appeared. Bringing wonderful blessings to the battle. I wish I could pet him, I bet his fur is super soft and fluffy. There was also this huge Orc, taller than Aurelio on his horse. It was one of those 'Berserkers'. The really dangerous and formidable foes, that light themselves on fire, and swing around their great axes. Through our combined efforts, no one was hurt, and we managed to take him down.
---
When we were standing around in camp, there was this strange turtle like creature. It had this long serrated knife and said that I had bad manners. I was pretty confused by it, and when I seemingly didn't appease it. It approached and stabbed me. I was the only one able to see it at the time. Thankfully there were a bunch of people to rush to my aid and tend the wound it left behind. Whatever it was, it's dangerous...at least when it's strange 'rules' aren't followed.
If I see them again, I will try to have good manners, say hello, introduce myself, and do that sort of thing. Maybe that will prevent me from getting stabbed. Linlett says to just run away, and so does Cort, but we'll see. Maybe they are just lonely, and looking for a good-mannered friend.
---
Cort is...well, he's an amazing man. I need to take him out stargazing soon. I need to remember that he likes Bazeel Blue drink, is it wine or beer? I don't really know. I get so nervous talking to him, but I like being around him. He's got a great beard too. I saw his room today, it's alright. Very manly, and with not too much care about decor.
I almost had him alone for a while, but Kraqq was with us. I would have felt bad just being like; 'Kraqq, go away, I'm trying to spend time with Cort.' I don't get him alone very often. He is quite a busy man, as am I. So...it's nice to get moments with him. I should be grateful for them, regardless of if we are alone or not. He waved to me when he left the Hall. Either way, I think I need to find a way to let him know how I feel...
It's getting late, and my ribs hurt. Plus, Kraqq is telling me that he thinks Cort is going to join the Janissaries...I don't really want that. But, if you care about someone, you support their decisions, you support them. So, that's what I'll do.
Flame preserve me.
Adar 27th, IY 7788
This morning, the Tower of Vae Mojem did not go so well. I was able to amass a decent group to explore the Tower, a mixture of new and some returning people to it. It seems that the Tower is becoming increasingly agitated. It was very dangerous, and many of the new arrivals to the Well were injured in the ascent. Even Cort was injured. The bronze lining was that I met a new wizard, an elven woman named Ahraket.
Then after that, a defence was had. We had very few people who took to the front. Meaning the backline of the Orcs were un-harassed which led to their warlocks and void-callers raining death upon us. Three were injured here too. A new Scarab I have met by the name of Tariq. He seems kind, and I gave him a statue of the Warrior afterwards. It always seems to bring me comfort to have them close by. Solina, the poor girl. Oh, and Saman, Vorazol's bodyguard of sorts. I'm still mad at him for using my god to taunt me when we were going to the Sibilant Canyons just because I didn't want to go deeper into their tombs.
Oh well. I am not one to hold a grudge.
---
Speaking of Cort, I need to talk to him. I feel as though I am not as important to him as I thought. He spends so much time with Selwyn these days, and I feel like I am second-thought to him. I've been wallowing for a bit, which is an awful emotion. I spoke to Durgin, who told me that matters of the heart are often the worst. Don't I know it. The wound Crowbell has left behind still stings. It never really does heal does it? You just get used to it after a time.
War comes in many shapes and forms, one of which is affection and the emotions that come with it. Katya told me I should confront him, softly of course, and tell him how I feel. Well, I feel like Cort likes Selwyn better than me. Maybe it's for the best though, I've dabbled in love, and it's burned me. Burned me worse than my legs when - [There is a large smudge of ink on the page here.] and I'm so young compared to other Dwarves. Maybe I should wait a century, it might hurt less when I am older.
I'm still at a loss as to what I should do.
---
In some positive news, I woke up to find a ring on the edge of the bunk bed. It left a circular burn mark on the wood. I think it is a gift from Agaslakku himself. Fitting that he would give me a ring. It's like I am married to him, which honestly, I wouldn't mind. I bet he's a great warrior, for he IS the Warrior. It helps me channel my flame to heal, and if I get lonely I can summon a flame to talk to. I guess. That part is alright, I can summon stronger flames if I need to though. Regardless, I will cherish this ring. It means a lot to me now. A representation of my unquenchable flame, maybe I'll call it that?
---
I, no...we need to get some sort of news about the Heir of Got Valdhazr soon. Ulfgrim is beginning to lose hope. His world is dimming. After Boltha has left, me joining the Balladeers, Haldar going away with Zina for some time...it's a lot. We feel...hollow. Like we're losing sight of our quest.
[Theres some dots, as if more writing was going to come, but someone decided against it.]
Flame preserve me.
Adar 28th, IY 7788
Narwen came to me today. She revealed a portent that she had a while back. That the 'Invasion of Greyness, where the moth returns in millions of thousands' is somehow a relevant line now. Way back, when I along with a few others were inquiring about the sickness. A man turned into a bunch of moths.
She and I both believe that this...presence. This 'It', is now somehow connected to the remaining members of the Duunthall. Maybe me most of all. Ulfgrim doesn't seem to pay much attention to it, nor does Drugg. Boltha is...well. And Durgin has other matters on his mind, which leaves it up to me. Narwen also stated that spirits don't really have much care for the physical world, but more so emotions, feelings, symbols. We were all members of the Duunthall, we all wanted to find the heir of Got Valdhazr. Perhaps, just maybe, the way we put this spirit back to rest is to complete our mission too.
Find the Heir and bring rest to the Presence who is also now invested in our mission. We're connected somehow. I made a promise a long time ago to Agaslakku that even the spirits, the 'worldly' good ones that is, deserve their victory too so that they can find rest.
I wonder if the spirits are drawn to the warm flames of my soul. Do they see it as a beacon in the dark grey space they are lost in? I hope they can, and see that it is a safe place. I'll always try to hear out them before jumping to violence. I never understood why people did that anyway...
---
Things with Cort are going well, somehow he is now able to conjure a hearth-fire. Him being a honorable and fine Agasian, Agaslakku must have sought to bless him with the power to summon a warm place to rest. That brings me joy. Or, he could be a wizard in training. I'm not sure. All I know, is that I am looking forward to our date.
He says he is a wizard in training, like an apprentice. That's interesting. I wonder what Dudley will think about that.
---
The rest of the day was pretty wild, I fought some orcs in their fortress. It was over pretty quick, but always dangerous. I hate climbing ropes, my legs always flare up in pain when I have to climb, I wish there was stairs. Or maybe Vilia or Greydon can teleport me up to the roof. That'd be nice.
Aurelio brought a small group to face off against a Titan. He wants to test out new ways to fight them. I think in this War we are going to have to face Titans and Orcs in the future, and we are going to need to be ready to face them both at once...Not an easy task. Since one steals magic, and the other flings it wildly.
What else? Aeronwy saw me as a Student for the first time! She cupped by my helmets cheeks and said it was nice and shiny. That was sweet of her. Oh, met a Kulkund Dwarf, her nose kind of wrinkled when Haldar told her I am a Priest of the Warrior. Understandably. I'll prove to her that I am no Murderer, but a Warrior with warmth, compassion, and honor in my heart.
---
Met an Agasian today, his name is Baler. I hope he grows into a fine Warrior. I'll do my best to forge him into what he wishes to become! He brought up a good idea though about the Tournament happening soon in Ephia's Well. Maybe Durgin would be granted a day to return to the Well to participate in the Tournament? Maybe.
All in all, a pretty good day.
Flame preserve me.
Adar 29th, IY 7788
Not good. Not good at all. Who will heal the war going on inside my heart, my soul?
[There are various drawings of broken weapons, axes, and wildfire drawn around the edges. Accompanying the drawings are red blotches.]
He came to me today. The Murderer, the other half of Agaslakku. Or maybe it's always been Him. He spoke to me, and stood in front of me, towering over me.
"Grenth you must make them bleed. You must take war to them all, forever. In that is true strength."
I feel lost. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt the people I care about. I want to help them. I want to forge them into something they wish to be. This being, were they really a god? Did I speak to a god? Did I really speak to Him? Who are 'They'?
"Grenth, rise the dead, not in unlife, but in life true. To die. To live at the edge of death. You murder them all a thousand times. Life is a dance, and each step a death."
I don't murder anyone. I fix their wounds, I reforge what is broken in them. So they can keep fighting, so that they can keep watering Bel-Ishun...I don't understand.
"To live is to die."
[A blotch of red crimson liquid stains the page here.]
"Each death is what gives meaning to your life. What death matters more to you? The Horde, or the Ally? You breathe death in your wake. Each wound you heal is a thousand cuts. You suffer and refuse to die. And so you kill the world in order to save yourselves. That is your murder."
"How many will you lose, Grenth?"
"Forge my name upon the Stele."
I do suffer. I do refuse to die. I won't let anyone else be broken before their time. I will wage the wars unseen by many. I will do what I can to place the Warriors name upon the Stele, for war is here. And yet, I feel lost. Many times, Dudley has told me that the path of the Warrior is a lonely one.
She is right.
'And so the warrior priest falls upon their blade. To bleed a thousand wounds. And rain the wealth of life upon the sands. Each wound recovered is a wound relived.'
I'll save us. I'll suffer. I'll survive. I'll keep the faith. I persevere.
'To protect, you must lead in War.'
[A clear drop upon the page this time.]
Flame preserve me.
Adar 30, IY 7788
I have pondered the meaning of His words. I believe what He said was actually praise: "Grenth, you must make them bleed, you must take war to them." This sounds intense, but of course, Agaslakku would be. "They only gasp for life because you feed them." I am beginning to understand. "Each wound you heal is a thousand cuts."
I believe, what He was trying to say, was that He is proud of me. It's a strange thought, to know that the God you devote yourself fully to, is proud? I 'murder' them all with the flames I bathe them in. Reliving their wounds upon their skin and healing it. That is my 'murder'. It took me some time to get there, but I think I understand. The Gods speak in confusing tongues. Even still I may be wrong.
I spoke to al-Leyla. She seemed to understand that I could be more than what I am, and in fact, encourages it. I will not become violent or bloodthirsty. I want to be me. The warm, soft, and caring man that I hope people see me as. I think...many forget that Agaslakku has no domain of violence or bloodshed. War has so many forms...even the smaller ones we forget.
Perhaps it was not strange that the Warrior would speak to me. I have grown a lot since I awoke in the sands. - Maybe it was He who woke me up? - I must break the Agasian code we have struck, and I must attempt to become Hakem. I have to place the Warrior upon the Stele. It is as He commands.
---
[Grenth Flamebringer's talent to Perform is Average.]
[There is an average drawing of a Dwarven helmeted man and a Human-sized individual man, both clad in Agasian attire dancing together in what looks like a ballroom dance from a very distant time. The dance is clearly intended to be romantic, but there is a sadness to it as well, yet even in the sadness there is a faint glimmer of hope. Longing in the Dwarves' eyes for something not yet found.]
---
Bad times are looming on the horizon. A defence was called, like any other. However, the field was different. A 'Dance of death'. Just like He said. Ulfgrim, Durgin, Lyceus, Marcellus, Narwen. Four of five of them were followers of the Axe. Struck down by orcs, berserkers and void-callers. One of their necromancers even raised the berserker after it had been slain. It was chaotic.
It...will be as I feared. Durgin is slowly withering and dying here. I knew it would happen, and the next step has been taken, the next part of this 'dance'. Closer and closer to the edge he goes. I've decided to make a petition. In honesty, I don't think it will do much, but it's better than doing nothing. A voice alone might mean little, but in unison, together in choir, we can sing louder. Shout so that we are heard. Maybe it will do something, maybe it won't, but it is better than nothing at all.
Hang on a little longer Durgin. I won't let your dance end. Not yet.
---
Solina became a Balladeer today. Or at least a Student. It has been something she's wanted to be for a while. I'm glad that she got it, hard work should be rewarded. I'll say a prayer for her to Agaslakku, He'll be glad to hear of this one. This victory should be celebrated, even in times of darkness, light still finds ways to show itself through the clouds.
I'll revel in this for a while. Before the light fades, and the clouds return. Hoping ever onwards for that next glimpse of light.
Flame preserve me.
Adar 31st, IY 7788
Today marks the Year's Gasp. A day for the ninth as the Wheel turns. For good, and for bad. For shadow cannot exist without light, and light cannot exist without casting a shadow. They define each other in their dance of contrast and balance.
It has got me thinking, in twelve days it will be four months since I awoke from the sands at Agaslakku's behest. It feels like it has already been such a long time, but in the grand scheme of my life, it is but a blink for a Dwarf. I worry for my shorter-lived friends and loved ones, but I will cherish every moment I have with them all the more. I hope this year is a good one, I know many challenges await. I will do all I can to meet and face them with the flames burning in my heart.
---
Early this morning, or rather before I went to bed. Cort came to the Duunthall Hall. We...held hands. I think that's important. He said he would be my shield. It amazes me how few words can mean so much. Yet, deep down I always worry when men make such promises. It's easy to say words. Air pushed forth through chords of flesh. It's action that proves our merit. Still, I trust him, I believe in him, just as I do Ulfgrim and Durgin.
That night, when Agaslakku came to me. I told them they could run, that they could flee. But, none of them did. They stared at death, the blades of the God of War, and did not flee. They trusted in me. I will remember that.
I...love them.
---
Dandrik is...an interesting man. He thinks we are rivals, which I find quite humorous. There is much to be gained from a rival though. I moreso consider him a friend. Though we often debate about B'aara and Agaslakku. I think the Orcs jade his viewpoint. Agaslakku is not about meaningless bloodshed and violence. We have our purpose too, glory and honour. To die so that others can live. He likes to use that argument against me, that five faithful to the Axe fell at the defences, but... It is the Agasians who would die so that others might live. We wage war, so others know peace.
I hope he finds what he is looking for in the Rose, and as Aurelio's Squire.
Dandrik's good-looking too. Dammit. So's Aurelio...
That reminds me, I need to go get some meaty soup for Aurelio, and likely a cold cloth for his forehead.
---
[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]
[Another Average drawing depicting an Agasian-dressed Dwarf catching snow in front of a large tower. A taller humanoid figure clad in armour stands, arms crossed, watching. The ground beneath the taller humanoid is hot enough to form a ring of melted ice. Despite that, the Dwarf has a faint smile that can be seen in the shadow of the helmet as he attempts to catch the falling snow, all the while watched by the taller figure.]
Remember to smile and laugh. Compassion, warmth, kindness, these are emotions of hidden strength. Wield them well.
Though love, love can be either or. A weakness or a strength. Depending on how it is wielded and protected.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 1st, IY 7789
Happy turning of the Wheel.
---
Early this morning I spoke with Durgin. I asked him things so that I could know one of the men I love. He never knew his parents, an orphan to Got Valdhazr. He said they died to Orcs before he got the chance. That fills my heart with sadness. He had no siblings, at least none he knew about. His life before being a hero was that of a soldier. He told me, that sometimes he wished he could go back to the simple life. Things were easier then. I get that...
It's hard when everyone looks up to you. You can't mess up, you can't retreat, you can't make mistakes. Otherwise, it affects everyone. I told him I would help forge him into his old self. He's cracking. I know it, he knows it but doesn't know how to stop it. I don't want him to lose himself. I asked Ritz to make him some Dwarven food. Plus, I'm working hard on this petition. I think we surpassed twenty signatures the other day. So, people care.
I can't lose him.
---
I read some books today. I know, exciting. Truisms of the Wheel, The Origin of the Wheel (It was super boring.), and Ephia: At War - 1. The first and last ones were fascinating actually. Speaking of how the Wheel can be a denotation of time, and that there are four ages of the Wheel. The age of Birth, the age of Learning, the Age of Hardships...and the Age of Hot Flame. Even a Flamebringer such as myself does not want to see the last age.
The book on the War mentioned Never-Crown, Zosmere that is. The Prince of Got Valdhazr working with Rennik Colmes. Back when he was Warmaster. It talks of Iakmes, and how he wielded the bronze scepter to command the Ephians to kneel. That might be a problem later in the War. I think the Marishyen can help, they said they have some Silver words to force Iakmes to fight one-on-one.
The book even spoke about their being priests or robed figures of the Age of Silver. How they come and stop Iakmes with...some power? All interesting things I wish I could learn more about. Who were those Silver priests? Did they come from Bet Nappahi? What do they know of Agaslakku? What do they know of the world?
[There are various floating words, 'Orc'ah', 'Scepter of Bronze?', and 'Silver Priests?' floating about the page.]
---
I told Vorazol that I intend to stand at the Synod. I told him that I saw an Avatar of Agaslakku. Vorazol has believed me in the past, even witnessed when the spirits of war spoke through me. Claiming vengeance from Durgin. Something I would allow the 'worldly spirits' to do again. I hope they see my flame as a warm and safe place, a beacon in the dark to what I imagine is the cold dead lands. Often I find spirits just wish to finish their business before they go off to the Martyrs embrace.
Anyways, Vorazol was supportive. I was relieved that he was. I'm not really sure what I was expecting, shock for sure, but more of his weird sucking tongue popping noise that he does. But, instead he listened intently and understood. I appreciate him more now than I ever have. Though, I told him to be fair in the process of electing a Hakem. If his Spoke feels a certain way about who should be Hakem, I want him to follow that. It seems only fair. Besides, victory has to be earned, right?
---
Today is the day we march to the Tower of Vae Mojem... I'm nervous, scared, afraid. All of the emotions, yet I won't let them control me. If anything, these emotions make us cautious, which can be a good thing.
I hope it's not the Court of Air and Shadow. That one is frightening.
Cort's worried about me. I can tell, he came up to me asking if I had everything, fussing over me. It was sweet, and a new experience. Rarely do others do that to me. It's often me fussing over other people, but...it felt good. I'll have to survive, survive so that I can return to him, and all the others.
I don't want this to be my end. I'll trust in my allies.
[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]
[A simple drawing of fingerless gloves marred by fire countless times. As they are cupped together a small flame blossoms in the center of it through the use of negative space to show light in this black and white graphite drawing.]
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 2nd, IY 7789
All it took was one day.
One day for my world to light up in flames. We went to the Tower of Vae Mojem. There were so many people there, everywhere. The halls were full of Ephians, most of the time I couldn't get to the front. The Tower is not a place where one should rush ahead, yet, some did. Creatures spawn when one steps over a threshold, and so those at the back were in most danger. Aurelio, Vellyn, Inanna, Tomma, and the Sisters were with me near the back. Many were wounded because the 'Angry Grenths' would manifest out of thin air.
But, no...it was not the Court of Air and Shadow. We climbed the tower, still with all the danger that presented itself in the rooms, it was nothing compared to what lay ahead. The ascent into Vae Mojem itself, the realm frozen in time, almost literally. Held in place by ice and the workings of a powerful Djinn. Water and Light made themselves known. A brilliant display of light upon a basin of ice, surrounded by walls of frozen water. Our battlefield against what looked like a phoenix, but it was a trick. In the end...we defeated it.
As...I sit here. Alone in the Duunthall Hall. The bunks once warm with us all, now are cold. I merely look to my right and see what used to be. Crates with names of my friends, my allies, my kin. Boltha Hammersong, scattered to the winds Eastbound in search of the heir. My crate beside hers. Kraqq'tuth's crate, nestled closest to me now. I can almost reach it from here. Haldar Steelheart, his crate used to belong to Crowbell, I can see the old etchings in it from here. Durgin Doomed-Oath, I can touch his from here...a source of comfort. Druggnugdr Bruggnurggdurgn, his crate is looking at me, the furthest of them all. Ulfgrim...my warrior, my blacksmith, one of the three men I love.
Why am I writing about crates? You know, because...in some way or another, only four remain. Myself, Durgin, Haldar, and Ulfgrim. They are a reminder, a reminder of what's lost. Whilst some do remain, I am here. Alone. With crates. Like wooden simulacra of them staring at me.
[A pause, the page begins to have circular impressions. Tears.]
The dance of death continues, He knows.
Eight fell at the summit, a realm of pure ice, the home of the Djinn. Remember them well. They will live on in memory. Haldar comforts me; "Eight fell, where nine would have without you."
Saria Silverlocke.
Sister Zoe.
Lyceus Eleutheros.
Tomma Scamper.
Manta Wholt.
Kraqq'tuth Stoutbreath.
Regina Yn'vylyn.
Druggnugdr Bruggnurggdurgn.
---
I went to see Ulfgrim. Before we left for the Tower. I told him that I loved him. I did not get his response, for I would have fallen behind as the Guide for those going...
When I returned, and he had heard the news of the Duunthall's loss, he was angry. Understandably so. I went to him in the Scald, where he seems to reside. He - [A splotch blurs the ink.] -ed me, called me a 'Priest of the Murderer', that it was my fault they were dead, that I should have been by their side healing them, and that because I didn't save them, their deaths were on my hands. He screamed at me, raised his axes to me and commanded I leave. Stripping me of...that title we shared together. He was my Warrior, and I his Priest.
Now, he hates me, and I love him. Can - [A splotch blurring the ink.] - be reforged?
I give him time, in the throes of grief people say things they do not mean. Even still, once a word is uttered it is not so easily taken back.
---
"Suffer and Survive! Scream the truth to the world that hates you! You bring death to the deathless! Live and reason to whose without!"
I suffer, I survive.
I am not alone. I will bring warmth, glory, and honor to my friends, my allies, my loved ones, and my God. I will not give up.
[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]
[A drawing of two dwarves. One is a bald-headed man with a bushy beard, his eyes are closed in laughter, his teeth are bucked, but the joy radiating from the image is palpable. The other dwarf is one with a darker beard and longer too. Wearing a wizard's hat and smiling with their eyes closed, crows feet wrinkling adorably. Their names are written below. 'Drugg and Kraqq.']
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 3rd, IY 7789
I will try to speak more positively, to attempt to lift even myself, however the day began with strife. The defence was called, and with it a raid. I had to see them, Durgin and Ulfgrim. Ulfgrim was still upset with me, hardly saying a word to me the entire time, and still refusing my blessings. I don't care, I'll protect him anyways.
Durgin? I don't know. He seemed upset by something, but I'm not sure. He wanted to be alone after the raids and defence were over. I told him the entire story of Vae Mojem, Aurelio's desire to fight the Djinni, the map, the climbs to the tower, Auselgryd, and how... how Drugg and Kraqq met their ends. He asked me; was it worth it?
No, of course not. Eight are dead, and so is a Djinni. However, those people in their frozen tower would they have stayed there? Seemingly disconnected from this world. They were peaceful, they were happy, until we came along and destroyed it. Why? What did they do to us? It was all Aurelio's idea, his want to destroy the statue started it all, but why.
So no, it wasn't worth it to me. But, was it valuable, did it mean something? Yes, of course. It still brings about goodness. Maybe in time, in decades from now. The results of our actions will save others from harm from the court of Water and Light. Still, I will miss my friends now, and the harm my actions seemingly have caused to my loved ones.
I love you Ulfgrim. Durgin. I hope. I believe you will come back to me in time. Until then, I'll heal you, I'll bless you, I'll protect you.
---
I finished the memorial to the fallen at the top of Vae Mojem. I put the stone near Khiva's resting place in the Southern Encampments. Three Agasians fell, so three Agasians strife are recorded upon the slab. The other five are mentioned, but they will have their place in the Maq'bara. For my Duunthall kin, a flower was planted outside the hall, and their names were etched into it. Thank you Asherias.
Aldric came to me, wanting to become Agasian. He took the tenets of us Agasians in front of the altar that Ulfgrim broke in his rage. The one in the Scald. I mended it thanks to Ulfgrim's donation, and with it brought another into the warm and strong arms of my Lord, Agaslakku.
Then, a few hours later I had an elemental duel with Dandrik. He seems convinced he can convert me to B'aara. It's fun to see him try. I consider him a friend, and I think he enjoys that we are 'rivals'. Though I don't actually consider him that, he's my ally. I lost, but in my defeat I was victorious. I seek to lift him through trials and tribulations. He can be strong, he needs to be for what comes of being a Squire.
Aeronwy told Solina and me her life story. How she came from one of the earlier Rings before it fell. She's a ring runner. She asked us who we would consider teaching us as a Balladeer. She's a good woman; Aeronwy. I'm worried though, she has asked of me to be her Student, but... My Lord has spoken to me, I must do as He commands, not what the Balladeers wish at times. I'm worried because I want to help the Rose, truly. I want to find the Cup, as they will help me find the Heir of Got Valdhazr. But, I must heed the words of my Spoke. I must do what He asks of me.
What will they do when they find out? Will they remove me from their ranks? Will they hurt me? I am a Priest of Agaslakku first. Will they scorn me and hate me too, like half of the Duunthall now does? I want to stay me. I want to be Grenth Flamebringer. I don't want to let anyone else hold the chisel. I guess...time will tell.
"Suffer. Survive. Scream the truth to the world that hates you."
---
I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to remain positive. To be the source of inspiration, to lift others up. I'm going to keep doing it, I'm going to smile. I carry the dead with me, but I must keep fighting. I must survive. I must suffer. I must persevere. Until my Lord looks down on me, and smiles. He will utter my name again, and praise me for the 'Thousand Cuts' I wield when I heal my friends when I save them from the 'Dance of death' that we all seem to be moving to.
Another night alone in the Duunthall Hall. The crates staring at me with the names of the dead and lost.
I am yours. Agasian, and I am not alone. Even still.
I love you, Agaslakku.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 4th, IY 7789
The Assembly was today. Haknar gave me some advice, but...I don't want to be deceptive or trick people. I want to be honest. It's hard to play the games that the Legates play, the 'wars' they wage with words is a difficult one.
I took to the podium, and in doing so asked others to stand with me in support. I was amazed at all those who stood with me. It was a beautiful thing to see so many care, yet still. Achaeus did not budge. His unmoved by sympathy, instead he wants action. Cassandra says that I should seek to break this curse that afflicts those in the camp, then they will remove the exile upon Durgin.
Maybe I could have pushed for conditional freedom. Claudia said something, but there were just so many voices happening at once. Linlett was getting in trouble from Rhuk, I was so nervous I couldn't think clearly. What if Durgin had to remain escorted by my side? What if he was banned from bellowing about politics, only board work, war, and matters related to the curse?
How do I do that? How do I break the curse? The Taffavogh exist from a time before time was even recorded. They are beyond ancient. Not even the Marishyen speak of them or know them. To utter 'it' is to invite doom. How do you fight that? Silence? Nothing?. The grey things that existed before color, light, life; Anathema existed.
---
Not only that but the rules of the Synod. No member of the Accord can stand as Hakem. I need to then find a way to get the Warrior upon the Stele. As commanded of me by Him.
Agaslakku, if you can hear my prayers. I ask you, show me the path to victory. Show me the way to defeat this 'curse' that plagues the afflicted at the war camp. Show me the fires that will burn it away. Light the path I must walk with flame. I will do it, to save them all. Even if they are to hate me afterwards.
I am not alone though. I have asked my friends to help me. To aid me. My fellow Speakers for their knowledge and their Spokes wisdoms.
---
Then Rhuk states that Aurelio is brooking. I'm just so exhausted. I'm so tired of it all. How can I focus on everything all at once?
I'm never speaking to him again. First the Duunthall, now the Rose. If Rhuk needs my blessings of War, so be it. If he needs my council as a Priest, so be it. But, the bonds I have with him are breaking. Just this morning I stood close to him, comforted by his presence. Now my words of story are twisted, broken, snapped against me. All because I told a tale of heroism. Aurelio wasn't the only one there, many were. We all fought bravely. We were blessed by the Wheel.
I am a plague wherever I go. Mayhaps it is me? I am the curse.
[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]
[A drawing of a campfire resides at the bottom of the page. With it is a dying flame. Smoke and cinder are what remains of the burnt wood. A hearth unattended that is fading.]
Can this day get any worse? Three problems. No solutions.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 5th, IY 7789
Things are beginning to look up.
I worked with many friends in the toils of board work to view the Azgals Valley again. The trees up on the mounts of Kulkund are beautiful. I got to work alongside Claudia, she is a potent witch and a great person. I met two new arrivals. Zalka is a woman with some power from the Axe as well. Fisher is a talented pugilist it seems. Finlay was there too, and she's going to blossom into a strong woman and Janissary under Rhuk's guidance. I know it. Milo was there, it was good to see him after the Vae Mojem...he was injured twice on the climb up.
The trees there, they give me a moment of peace. Like they are a reminder of a time before I fell asleep.
[There is an imprint of pine needles dipped in green ink from a branch on the page.]
---
I spoke to Haldar a bit. It always feels like I miss him by a hair's width. This time though we bumped into each other and it was nice. He came by the Hall last night in the wee hours of the morning as I asked him to. I made him beef stew before I went to bed and ensured that the hearth was warm and welcoming for him. I swear I felt him snuggle up to me, if only just a little. We both feel the loss of our friends, our loved ones.
[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]
[A drawing adorns this part of the page. It is a broken hearth like the one from the previous day, except there is a stark contrast in the mood. A fresh log is added to the fire atop the embers and ashes of the old wood. A fire is beginning to blossom and grow again with fresh tendings. A sign of hope, perseverance, and victory.]
---
I...told Dudley everything. Every word that Agaslakku spoke to me. She supports me fully in my path to stand as Hakem. I was...surprised to say the least. We Agasians do not want to lead the Wheel, we want to protect it. But 'To lead is to protect' sometimes. I told her my fears, my worries. I may have to leave the Rose to walk the Wheel's path. I don't want to hurt my friends... I don't know what to do.
I do know that I am grateful for my Sister of the Axe. Dudley has been there for me at every turn. Supported me. I will pray to Agaslakku this night, pray to Him that he rewards her for her faithful servitude and guidance that she granted me when I first came to the Well. Way back when I awoke in the sands thanks to His voice.
She showed me a place sacred to our faith. I will not dare write more of it, but...it is everything I could have ever hoped for, and more.
---
I...I went to the Balladeers intending to leave them. I cried telling my strife to Aeronwy that my Spoke was calling me away, heartbroken. She comforted me and inquired more as to the tale I told. As I spoke more, she grew concerned. She brought Aurelio to me, the amazing man he is, and we all spoke. What spoke to me was not my Lord. I was deceived and almost led down a dark path. The path of the Murderer...I don't want to murder, I want to heal. I want to be a Proud Warrior. It was all the works of one thing.
The Court of Fire and Blood.
It won't work. Thanks to the Lost Hearths' knowledge, protection, and guidance I am going to resist this being. I can't believe the fool I was. Looking back...it's so obvious now. The guise of a dancer, preying upon an emotional soul, masquerading as the Warrior, preying on my faithfulness. Perhaps...this was the true test?
It's just...I am saddened to hear this. I almost followed the path laid out by this being. Now, it is I who must resist this being. My Lord makes me resistant to flame, I will, I can do this.
I tell none this, save for merely penning my thoughts to paper but, I am afraid. I am afraid of this being. I have felt its blades upon my skin. I know it's strength.
Yet, even still. I persist, and now stand ever stronger, ever faithful with new knowledge to my God. Not the Murderer, but the Warrior!
---
Drugg.
Kraqq.
Walk onwards, guided by the flames we wielded. Find the Edutu and rest in the arms of the Martyrs, the Shepherds. Kali and Gali. I'll miss you two.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 6th, IY 7789
A time wherein all things Begin. That's what they say at least. Is it also a time for endings? I hope not.
I stood today at the Synod. Scared and afraid I was, I did. I heard a voice, it did not scream at me this time. It told me to be brave. To not be meek, to not be a coward. Otherwise, I would not be worthy to wear the Golden Galea of the Proud.
This voice was different, so I stepped forward. I stood brave, but deep down I was afraid. I spoke my truth. I spoke that I would lead the faithful to victory. To help them pass the many 'wars' we face. The ones that linger in our hearts, our minds, and our souls. Not only the war upon the fields, but the smaller ones too.
A new arrival to the Well defeated me. A Halfling man named Yogi, a Speaker for the Wyld. He seems a good sort. I will support him in his endeavours. For the next cycle, the next Synod. I will stand again. For there is victory found in defeat. It just means I must grow more. Be more. Do more.
What is broken...
---
In walking this path, I had to turn away from another. A piece of my heart was torn off and broken. No Hakem may be a member of the Accord so that they are free from the potential weight of the politics within. That the Wheel may move along unobstructed by it. I had to look at Aurelio. I had to bare my heart to him and inform him that I must walk the path of the Warrior. All whilst in front of everyone. In doing so, I had to ask of him to remove the oaths I swore to him and the Rose.
Was I right? Was I wrong?
I know this. I intend to aid them wherever I can. To bring about the warm flames of the Warrior and guide them to victory. Alas, I do not know if I can don the cloak though. An ally to them I will be, bonded I cannot.
What is broken...
---
The spirit, the Djinn, the something returned to me. At the end of our warring upon the Orcs, it spoke. Telling me that I was weak, that I failed, and that I was a coward. I didn't believe it. Those around me thought me insane. Understandably so, but those of the Speakers are strange folk.
It...said more hurtful things. Calling itself the Murderer, and not the Warrior. That I was undeserving. It took one of my most prized possessions.
The Golden Galea of the Proud, forged by Augustus Zan. The Smith of Got Valdhazr's destruction, member of the Brass Vandals.
I blacked out and awoke within the Krak. A strange place, but perhaps Aeronwy carried me there. I am rather light for a Dwarf. I walked out to the Hall and...the Tower had questions, the Rose had questions. It was then that I saw Him again, or...It? It spoke to me, calling me a fool, and yelling at Aurelio for trying to pull a faithful away. That I would have granted honor and victory to the Rose Order.
It spoke of 'tests of faith'. To strike it would mean it...or He? Would leave me alone forever. I took the sword, the one Aurelio used to strike the Djinn down. I stood before the form, it towered over me. I called out to my God, Agaslakku. Shouting my love for him for all to hear. Plunging the blade into the creature. It did nothing as one would expect. Retaliating with a flurry of blades.
Painful...it hurt almost as bad as the fire. The fires of my youth. A time five millennia ago before I drifted to my slumber amidst the sands.
In this strife, I have lost my divine spark. My connection to my Lord.
What is broken...
---
I returned to the Duunthall. For a new helmet when the Balladeers called out to me. My faithful Speakers of Agaslakku and they were concerned about me. I returned to them, to tell them I was 'okay'. As 'okay' as one could be when their divine spark had been taken.
They wish of me to return to the place I found the Djinn. Where it first tried to call out to me and tempt me. They hope I will find answers there. For all it's worth, if I do not return to the Rose. They are still my heroes and have done a great deal to aid me. They are truly the heroes of old.
What is broken...
---
On our way there, an Ash-sail from Baz'eel sailed in. With it, the Princess Hasheema herself! She wished to meet with Durgin. She had heard the plight of Got Valdhazr and how he was the last remaining son of it. I stood there, waiting atop the Mount. Moments ago I was to go and attempt to investigate the home of this Djinn with the Balladeers and Sisters, but then I waited for a new reason. I waited for a man of whom I loved to step off the Ash-sail. Whilst it may have been by invitation, it was a dream come true to see him again standing in the Well.
She wished to hear the whole telling of Durgin's tale. It's a long one, but one fit for a hero. Perhaps, one day a bard will sit and write it for all those aspiring heroes to hear. As Durgin was once like that too. A simple guard, reading tales of heroes going on adventures. Now, he is ours.
I think people forget, that we are all people to. We all live lives amongst each other and it's easy to forget that when out of sight of another, we still keep on living.
It is in this that Princess Hasheema, in B'aara's kindness has granted the mercy to remove Durgin from exiledom.
What is broken...
---
I walk this path now, lacking a gift that my Lord has bestowed to me, and yet still I will stand as faithful. Agasian, for I am a Priest of the Warrior. Keep the faith; the devout warrior claims victory from defeat. So I will do just that.
For you, Agaslakku.
What is broken...shall be reforged. Even you. Even us. Even me.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 7th, IY 7789
I walked around the streets of the Well. For a time, I went to the sacred place for Agasians, staring at the 'symbol', hoping that it would give me some clarity. I walk around without the spark of divinity, and it's a different feeling. I feel...colder.
The new Hakem, Yogi, told me the Speakers of the Wheel would stand with me. I believe that most will, but I am unsure if all will. I should speak to Vorazol and get his opinion of what is happening to me. Saman was...hurtful to me. Saying that I might be a 'Brooker'. How did that thing know my name? I led many expeditions into the Black Vaults. Many called out my name in that dark place.
I will bring the Warrior to my allies. This is my test of faith. I will inspire them, I will stand with them on the fields of war, spark or not. I won't lie, I am scared and afraid, but I will still stand. It warms my heart to know that I am not alone. I have many allies and friends who are pouring forth and offering their support.
---
I'm not sure what else to say today. I'm hurt. I'm broken. I'm afraid. Even still though, I find the joys in my life from the past victories I have waged alongside others. Durgin is no longer exiled. Maqqari got his promotion in the Sandstone. Evan is now a fully-fledged Janissary.
I've been taking music lessons from Khurgal over the past two weeks. I've been late to one or two of his lessons as of now, maybe he'll call out for me. Milo recommends I take up a hobby to pass the time whilst I wait for the war horns to sound. I hope Khurgal does call for me, I miss that silly, kind Dwarf. He's got a great voice. Good looking too... Oh - And the piano lessons are great!
If you're watching me from up above, Agaslakku. I stood up to that thing. It won't take me, I am yours. I was brave, even in my fear. I was courageous, even in my anxiety.
---
I went to the war today, a raid and a defence. It was...different not wielding the divine flame gifted to me. I had to remain out of the way of the healers, the frontlines, and those more adept at inflicting harm. I held my bow tightly and did what I could. I counted maybe fifteen or twenty fallen to my name.
Some were injured though, Durgin, Gideon, Marcellus, Ritz, and this new arrival that I've not spoken to as of yet. I hope he recovers. I know many will recover from their wounds, but still, I wonder if I could have done more. If I could have lifted them up, instead of watching them fall.
---
Vellyn and Inanna are the most interesting people. The other day, Vellyn said she would tell me a story of someone I chose. I know who I am going to choose, but she should know it first. It's a good surprise I don't think she will expect. She didn't expect me, a Dwarf, to wield a longbow like her elven people. But, those who know me know I am a bit of a strange Dwarf after all. Inanna granted me this new helmet, so now I don't have to wear the slimy green ooze one.
I'll kind of miss it, it jiggled when I walked.
However what really surprised me was Rhuk. He called me over and we spoke. I learned that he is a Kulamet. I should try to find him one of those Royal Favour Flowers, they just seem to be so rare. I was worried that he might attempt to try me for 'Brookery', but he knows me too. He said kind words that made me cry.
'No need to be afraid of the unknown, the darkness that consumes can only be broken by the brightest of lights. Just continue to be that light, the people will gather, rally to your aid. So just keep being Grenth. It will work out.' - Rhuk Nor.
So. I'll be me, Grenth Flamebringer.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 8th, IY 7789
Not a good day today.
I pick up my pieces, and I struggle to put them back together again. Each step is a step forward. I have to remember that. Healing takes time. I've hurt, I've broken the trust I built with those I care for. Cort. Vorazol. It is no easy thing to heal. Yet, I will still try.
---
I spoke with Dudley, and she inspired me. As we faithful of Agaslakku do. She said that 'what is broken will be reforged'. Of course.
She speaks of my divine spark not being gone but merely broken. She says that as time passes, it will rebuild itself stronger than it once was. For example, when a bone breaks, it heals stronger than before.
That, or I will have to fight for it back. Agaslakku, I hope you're watching me, your faithful. Also, if that would have been you testing me in that way, I would have stabbed you. Like I did that thing.
I find a bit of humor in that, I hope you do too. That I would have been brave enough to stab even you.
What is broken...
---
[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]
[There is an average drawing of two male figures, one dwarf, and one humanoid. Both of which are dressed in Agasian garb. One of the pair is more 'divine' in being. Faceless, features obscured by the bronze helmet and donned in a red cloak of warm-looking fire. The humanoid figure is holding the dwarven one in its arms. An embrace meant for more than just friends. Jutting from the back of the dwarf is an arrow. Medically accurate as to where the heart would be. Above the figures is a small flame, not small enough to be but an ember, nor bright enough to be a fire, more akin to a wick.]
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 9th, IY 7789
I spoke with Peter in the morning. He, too, is a Priest of Agaslakku and a talented pugilist of war. He told me that he believes this is a trial of my faith, and that so few Priests are tested in this way. The gods don't often look upon one of their faithful.
Peter said that this occurring is rare, that it means a Priest is capable of channelling blessings beyond that of most others. But, first I must satisfy the tests of the Warrior. He said that his challenges might be more dangerous than most, but He is watching.
I must dispel my companions' worries, find my foe's weakness, and remain faithful. I will succeed. I have to. I miss mending the wounds of my friends. I miss shielding them from harm.
What I need now is knowledge. Knowledge of my enemy, their strengths, their weakness. So that I may defeat them.
---
Then, it was off to the Crypts with Aurelio, Cogs, Marcellus, Peter, and Claudia. It went better than I expected. I did my best to fire arrows from the backline, and I actually did quite well. Especially thanks to Claudia's magic. She's a wonderful person. I've learned that she too, likes to lift others up and inspire them.
Marcellus, Peter, and Aurelio are really strong too, so it wasn't too bad. Cogs' magic is incredible as well, he has moments where he can briefly step through time. Something about entropy and stasis, it's a bit above me, but it sounds fascinating. He has these Shelagrin? Shalgrin? Shelgarn? summons that are very strong too! Maybe someday soon I will sit down with him and ask him more about it. He is still supposed to teach me about 'entropy'.
---
I wrote Cort a letter of apology. He feels that I have betrayed him. That I am working with that of Fire and Blood. Dudley says "He is being an idiot." I wouldn't go as far as saying that, I just think he's hurt. He's wounded. I don't even know if he read the letter, or threw it away. I guess time will tell. I think what is important though, is that I'm trying.
---
The most important thing is to smile, to laugh, to share warmth in these cold nights. To be the beacon of hope and inspiration that I've always dreamed of being. I'll do this. I can do this. I don't stand alone anymore. So many pour forth with their support, their aid. I'm not alone anymore. I've found the strength that most dream of, the strength that is found when we stand together.
Sina's Night of Lamentation is today. I should get some rest.
I'll keep tending the flame. All I ask is...
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 10th, IY 7789
I'll sleep soon, but there are some things I should write about. I need to pen them to paper.
I saw a Griffin early in the morning yesterday. It seems Amélie and Aeronwy were searching for it. It was beautiful to witness something regarding Kula. Amélie tended to the animal and comforted it with what sounded like birdsong. She gave it something that I adore giving others: choice.
She let the Griffin choose if it wanted to follow us, and for a time it flew away. But, it followed after it considered us as friends or enemies, and I think in the end it chose to stay with us because of Amélie giving it that chance. It's somewhere now flying around the Citadel. It seems to like Aeronwy a lot.
[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]
[There is a drawing of a winged creature; a Griffon, with a hooded woman, resembling that of a Sister of the Sibylline with her hand outstretched towards the majestic beast. Vines are sprouting outwards from the sleeve, but there are no thorns. The beast has its head dipped towards the Sister as her hand is about to connect with the beast.]
---
Narwen told me a story about how my battle with my spark may not be physical. It could be purely spiritual. There are parts of Agaslakku I try not to glance at, parts I don't like to see. But, to love something, to love someone, is to see all their flaws, all their broken pieces, and love them all the same.
That's what love is, right?
So, I went on a pilgrimage to know the Axe, it's actually where I ran into Sister Amélie, Melody, Aeronwy, Dudley, and Alexandria going on this task for Kula. After their works, I asked them to escort me to a sacred Agasian shrine, a place of sanctity. The Altar of the Axe in the Nusrum. I spoke with the Orcish Priest there. His name is -
~ Ag'kal, Bearer of Glories, slayer of three legions. Breaker of the Sibilant Zythlf'suen, the great maw of Northern Wind. Strategist of the Five Red Gates, Breaker of the Red-Grey Mountain. ~
...and I really like him. I think he likes me too. We exchanged names and our deeds that we have accomplished. He called me a 'A grave thorn, that he would do a service to remove me', which I found to be quite a compliment. He even said that should we meet on the battlefield, he would offer to dislodge the axe and offer his hand to me when I 'Reconsider at the time of their victory'.
He said another thing, which...I will tell none of this, but he made my heart swoon for him a bit. "Perhaps when we are done bringing peace, you and I will get rid of the enemies of the Wastes together." I was a bit baffled, but I found myself drawn to him. He would be willing to work together with me? Whilst I also have a great deal of respect for him, we of the Agasian faith know that in these sacred places, we smile, we laugh, and we share stories with one another. But, tomorrow, we may very well face each other upon the field.
It's a shame, in another life we could have been friends, maybe even more...
However, my pilgrimage was a success. I saw the cruelty of war, and I showed respect to it. The other half of Agaslakku that I look away from. I saw it. I understood it. I love Him all the same.
---
I met the man so few know. A bard has called him 'Darkhelm'. I've dubbed him 'Snow'. Through speaking with him I have learned that he is an Urazzir. I know so little about the Wroth, so it's a great way to learn more. He seems to often give me warnings and cryptic messages. "We are all but ash in an hourglass. Our time waiting to run out."
Why Snow? Well, there is a coldness to him, that much is obvious. But, snow also has this profound beauty to it, this air of mystery. A lot of it can make places glow at the faintest glimmer of light but also reflect the inky blackness of the stars. Enough of it blanketing you, and it can provide shelter, but at any time it can also cause discomfort and ice coldness.
I'm going to consider Snow my way to learn more about the Wroth. This way I can learn more about the Wheel for there is strength in knowledge.
---
Sina's Night of Lamentation was good. I shed tears, as I often do. It allowed me to put some of myself back together, and now I push ever onwards.
I can feel my light and warmth returning to me. I am happier now, learning more about my Lord, seeing the other sides of Him, and speaking to people again. My wounds are healing. I'll speak and meet more people, spread the word of faith, and just keep doing my best.
I'll make you proud.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 11th, IY 7789
More wandering, more searching. Will I ever find what I seek again?
Each step is a step forward, and those steps led me to Ritz today. We spoke about a dinner party. Seems we might be having a Duunthall Dinner soon. My legs twitch with anticipation as I write this. Will it be delicious meat pie? Haggis? A roast? Maybe another one of her Pretzels? I've never really been one for food. Just give me gruel with a bit of meat and I'll be fine.
I'm looking forward to spending time though with those I care for. A dinner would be lovely to have with the Duunthall. However, we should treasure the finer moments of life before we meet our glorious ends.
So, I will! Our conversations turned to the Valley of Black Ichor and, of course, my lack of a 'spark'. She was amazed by the sapling that continued to grow despite the darkness that encroached upon it. I had a profound thought: I, too, feel like that sapling. Darkness surrounds me, and I have to keep trying to burn bright so that I can grow too.
---
More warring was done, a defence, then a raid upon the Zadkaggog clan. Sorry Ak'gal. That makes forty-four clans slain.
---
I sit here, staring at the brazier closest to our bunks. Ulfgrim is sleeping beside me, Durgin above me. I've been staring at this flame for so long, that when I look back to the paper I can see the burning light in my vision still.
My talk with Ritz and my thoughts over these past few days have led me to understand something. Every moment we spend alive is precious. My legs burn from the pain of my old wounds. Yet, here I am, legs aching, painful tingles shooting up inside of me, and I am happy still.
I have this warm man beside me, and I have my Kin above me. It still baffles me that when I arrived in the Well, I was threatened with exile from my Kin, and here I am now. So close to them, a mere movement of my hand and I can run my fingers through Ulfgrim's mohawk. A hand above and I can poke Durgin's nose. Think Haldar's at Zina's again. Baelerie, probably in a shrub somewhere.
We've all had our moments. Ulfgrim has hated me before, shunning me as his Priest. Durgin had a moment were he snapped when we were all conscripted to the Banda Rossa. We've healed though. We still remain in this moment. I will look at them for a time longer. The burning flames etched into my vision as I stare at the men I love, and smile.
'Those who shall judge you the most are those who have never stood themselves at a place where they themselves would be judged.' - Rowan Ramcrest.
---
I believe that I will wield His flames again, someday. I will be able to withstand the pain of my wounds, physical, mental, and spiritual. I'll lift people again with healing flames.
[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]
[There is an average drawing of four Dwarves and a Hin laughing and sitting together. It contains the somewhat recognizable visages of the Duunthall. Names are etched beneath the drawings of those who still live in their respective positions. 'Haldar', 'Durgin', 'Grenth', 'Ulfgrim', 'Baelerie.' Most have their arms wrapped over each other's shoulders, but Grenth sits in the middle in what appears to be a hug from the others. He's wearing his non-usual helmet in this drawing. It looks like a rusty bucket.]
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 12th, IY 7789
I missed the War Council today. I must have stayed up too late staring at the flames and drifted off into the late hours of the evening.
Haldar caught me up as to the proceedings, at least some things pertaining to the Duunthall. I was staring up at the sky from the Plaza. He told me that Q'tolip himself arrived. What I would have given to speak to the man. He probably has answers to many of the questions that plague my mind. What does he know about divinity, and the trials that Speakers undergo? Could he help my plight?
Haldar told me that Q'tolip said that we were not the cause of the curse at the War Camp. It is something else, something inside of Lake Riyyan. It's what I've been trying to tell people all along. It's good though now that an official of the Tower has put that to rest. I will be glad to move past it. However, there is no denying that we are known to something in the Scald. Something followed us, something knows us. Knows me.
He continued to tell me that Durgin is followed by 'things', and if one listens closely they can hear them. It's likely the spirits of Got Valdhazr. I knew this, Q'tolip said that those who listen closely can hear them. I've heard them many times. They scream out for Vengeance. I've always been more sensitive to the spirits of this world. I think the flame inside me is like a beacon for them. They find the warmth in it that lingers in the cold places they dwell. I want to help them, help them find peace so they may return to the Martyrs' embrace.
I wonder what else happened at the War Council.
---
All of the 'Afflicted' were granted mercy, brought about by the end of an axe. It's a shame, but the Serdar mentioned that no known cure was found. Perhaps it is better to grant them this mercy, than for them to be walking around trapped inside their minds. Tormented and screaming, sleepless nights wandering the quarantined heat of the Scald.
How many Ephians died because of this decision? I will mourn them, and honor their deeds as soldiers, as warriors. Knowing I could not heal them.
---
I've begun my piano lessons again with Khurgal. He's teaching me how to pour my sadness from myself into my work. My music that is, not my warring. Though, I guess I could find ways to channel my sadness into that as well. I was telling Solina when she was writing her essay on the virtues of the people that it's important to 'set the tone'. I think I am decent at the piano, but not as good as I'd like to be.
Maybe though, I'll start to work on a song. I'll have to practice a bit more, and keep receiving lessons from Khurgal. I wonder if he likes meat pies? Maybe I should bring him one?
I've always found music to be beautiful. It can sometimes say things that our words cannot. Convey an emotion to others that you've kept locked up inside for so long.
[There are a few lines of music written out, basic chords of an amateur musician. The melody does seem somewhat sad, but it's not the best quality of work thus far.]
---
The statue of Siegward Eyck was broken by an unfortunate event. I repaired it. It seemed to be important to people I care about. Dudley is the only one who knows I fixed it. Plus, mementos and memorials are a good way to remember someone, or something, that is no longer around. They can resemble an idea, or a movement, and be sources of inspiration. And, to me, that's precious.
It was worth it.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 13th, IY 7789
I told him I am in love with him.
I took off my helmet, at his request, and listened to everything he said. The heavy truths that I needed to hear. The truths of his past, his history, his life before the Well. His journey to know the Warrior, and the Murderer. Then I told him how I felt...
I'm a fool.
It was foolish of me to think their 'marriage' wasn't real. To think it was a joke. I'm tired of falling in love with men who could never love me back. Why do I torture myself in this way?
I can love things, yes, but it just means I can only fall in love with one thing, one being, one God.
Agaslakku.
I understand now, at least I believe, how Agaslakku feels. Felt? I don't know...
The mind is a fragile thing, mine is breaking, shattering, and falling apart into hundreds of pieces. It won't be much longer until I fully snap. The final twist of the knife that is stuck in my now cold body is drawing closer. I can feel the hand upon it, squeezing, twisting.
The questions are burning as they rattle around my skull. Was that really Him? Was it a Djinn? Am I really being tested? Have I already failed? Will I be able to heal again? Was I wrong? Was I right? Should I turn to another spoke? What will people think of me? What do they think of me? Will they shun me? Will they understand? Will the Agasians ever forgive me if I walk that path? What do I need to do? Where do I go from here?
I've only found one answer so far. The path I walk is my own; it is the Path of the Warrior. It seems I must walk it alone.
Suffer and survive.
Thrive and flourish.
Water Bel-Ishûn.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 14th, IY 7789
Vilia is dead. She was here before I even came to the Well. Once the bellows went out, she was dead within an hour. A frightening thing, not only that she's apparently a brooker, but how fast one can be brought to justice should the Well demand it.
I'll mourn the woman I thought she was. I'll miss the moments we spent together on the board work. I'll miss the good I saw in her. I'll miss her.
'Snow' was eager to bring about justice for her crimes. I bumped into him and some new people in the Krak today. He speaks very ominously, but that's also what's so fascinating about him. 'Every grain of time is precious.' Every moment we spend in this world can have an impact. Miniscule or grandiose. He was the one who ended Vilia.
'You are required to root out evil if you foresee it, never assume innocence.' - Tenet of the Wroth.
---
Eleo found me today. He came to me as I sat in that sacred place. He spoke to me. It was kind of amazing how he could convey so much enlightenment in only four questions.
"Why do you sit in reflection here?"
"How have you lost your 'spark'?"
"What do you mean to do now?"
"What have you found on your path?"
"You will not know all the details in each battle you face. You will have to act without all the pieces and carry the risks there. Gather your allies, what strength they will lend you, and seek what was taken from you. - Have courage, define what your role in war is."
I will. I will step forward, the Warrior's warm hand on my back as I walk ever onwards. I'll carve my path as a healer, someone who mends the broken, who lifts up those who have fallen, who helps. I'll reforge what was broken.
---
[A hastily scribbled note is on the page.]
Get Rhuk a pretzel, and give him a break.
I found the pretzel, Ritz gave me a few, and now find Rhuk.
He deserves a break.
---
It was nice to speak to Ritz. She's opening a restaurant in Manta's name. It's nice that he will be remembered. The heroes of our Well need to be memorialized and remembered. Manta was a chef, an adventurer, a clerk, and an all-around good man. 'Casa Manta' she calls it. I can't wait to see it when it's ready to be unveiled. I told her I could already imagine the laughter that would echo from within. I know Manta would be proud of how high Ritz has soared now.
So then I wandered the Well, delivering pretzels. I gave one to Snow, and he tried to hide a smile. He even said it was 'alright'. That means they must be really good! To get a somewhat neutral response from a Uzzarii, then he told me to 'Keep one eye open, and to not trust him.' Or, by extension, anyone. It must be a lonely road, that of the Wroth. I commend those who walk it and respect them.
---
Overall though, I find my mood improving. I know the path I must walk, do I know what awaits me in five days? No, not at all. But, I won't be alone, and just knowing that gives me the strength to stand again. I'll reclaim Agaslakku's divine spark, I'll wield his flames again...
For what is broken, mends stronger than ever before.
I'll be whole again, and I'll lift those around me.
I'll take back the Golden Galea of the Proud.
However, something weird did happen to me today. I found the Auld Formorian Coin that the Marishyen gave me. An omen, perhaps.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 16th, IY 7789
I think I caught some sort of sickness yesterday. I don't think it had anything to do with this 'Plague' I hear people talking about. I had a pretty high fever. Like the flame inside was burning me from within. My muscles were aching and I was sore all over. I could hardly walk. It was some sort of sickness, but from what? It could be a result of not having my powers, or it could be something else entirely.
I still do not feel fully healed, but I'm getting better. Enough to walk around and war if I need to. It was so bad I couldn't even lift my arm and journal properly. I'm thankful that part of my sickness has passed. Ulfgrim kept checking in on me at night. Which was sweet of him. I'll remember that.
---
On the 18th I go to the Scald, to the place where this entity first appeared to me. I'm going to try using my words first to wage war against it. I know that blades did little to harm it. It has me thinking, it told me that I inflict a thousand cuts upon the world with my healing. Maybe I won't have to fight it to be victorious. Maybe all I have to do is heal it? I'm not sure, but it's good to be prepared for the worst.
I must ready myself. I know little about the fight that lies ahead. The constant worrying and wondering about what I might face is something I'm trying not to think about. I will just have to handle things in the moment as they come and prepare...as best I can.
Some have come forth and told me that they will stand by my side during my trial, my 'test of faith' perhaps. I'm grateful for my friends. Those who are willing to risk danger so that I can get my blessings back. It helps bolster my flame to know that people will stand with me.
Are you watching me, Agaslakku?
---
I sit here in the Krak staring into the hearth. I said 'hello' to a few folks and said a prayer for their victory on the board work they were undertaking. Something about heading to the Canyons to deal with the Sibilant.
I can feel the heat rising in me again, my fever is returning, and with it the aches and pains.
I think I'll head back to the Hall and find rest. Time to limp my way back. Tomorrow is a new day, and with it comes the many challenges it brings.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 17th, IY 7789
I walked around late last night, thinking, pondering, and planning. Got brought into a group to take down some spiders in some nearby caves. I've never been one who likes Spiders. I find them terrifying, way too many legs, and way too many eyes. Plus the way they just...skitter around is nightmarish on its own.
I remember a while back a member of Air and Shadow manifested in the den of spiders. Saying how Kick'shazha. Khik'shashy. Khiq'shasha, or whatever its name is, was one of their servants. That all the spiders were spies for that Court, and that they were watching. Just makes spiders even more nightmarish.
Eugh. Spiders...
---
I got to meet another new person to the Well, though they may not be that new, but they were new to me. Jan. He's an interesting sort, wields a sword though he was once a lumberjack. Came from one of the far off rings. It reminds me I know so little of these 'rings'. It feels odd to think that I was here, in this one over five millennia ago. Just sleeping as people went about their lives, running from ring to ring, trying to survive, only for me to awaken now.
Either way, I'm getting off-topic. Jan seems like a nice guy.
---
Baelerie came to talk to me today, it's come up a few times over the course of the day about my 'divine spark'. She said some great and wise words that I needed to hear. She believes in me, as do many others I suspect.
"I have faith in you. - Faith is a funny thing, you know? Sometimes it means taking a step even when you can't see the stairs. - You got plenty of friends that want to see you succeed, and I think maybe the most important one of all wants you to succeed too." - Baelerie Buletta.
I guess that's why they sometimes call it a leap of faith. Her words give me strength. I'm going to be victorious. I have to be.
---
It was nice to do board work again with the Duunthall. It feels like it has been so long since we were able to get together and do some work. I'll remember this day and cherish the memory fondly. On the cold nights, our laughter of victory will keep me warm.
---
[Grenth Flamebringer's talent to Perform is Average.]
[An average drawing of a dwarven figure standing slightly in front of a taller humanoid figure. The dwarf has a new helmet in contrast to the other drawings, it is more bucket-like than the previous one, his hands clasped somewhat timidly in front of himself, yet his posture is clearly comfortable thanks to the taller humanoid. The figure behind rests a hand upon the Dwarfs shoulder, features obscured by the shadows of an Agasian helmet, standing confidently and gladiator-esque. The cloak pinned over the black and white armour is lit aflame in a brilliant blaze of orange and red hues.]
He is with me. He is watching. I'm going to make the Warrior proud.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 18th, IY 7789
I sit here in the bunks, staring at the wall. The crates of the dead Duunthall have been removed for a long time. Durgin made sure of that, and I thank him for it. It wasn't good to see the haunting images of their names staring at me. I swear I could hear their spirits crying out to me from across the Edutu.
Ulfgrim snores beside me, his hair is surprisingly so soft, and Durgin's mumbling about orcs above me. Something about the Ear-Seekers Clan. Haldar was here earlier humming a song before heading to Zina's. I think Baelerie fell asleep in the bushes outside the Hall. It is a brief moment of peace here in the Hall. I've heard that there is always a calm before the storm, this must be it.
Meanwhile, I feel like I can't sleep. Too many scenarios are running around in my mind.
What do I need to do? Will I do it wrong? What if this is the wrong place? What if it doesn't show?
I can't think of these questions now though, I have to be confident. I have no more room or time to doubt. He will be watching. Once I sleep, the day will be full of challenges. It's probably among the hardest ones I've ever done. I must stand and fight for my blessings. For the gift of warm flames and war prayers to be returned to me from Agaslakku. A test of my faith. Blind. Daunting. Frightening.
Here's the plan:
[Various written plans are scratched out, and a few images of battle are also scratched out. The one below seems to have made it through the gauntlet of ideas.]
I'm going to try to keep it simple;
Demand my spark to be returned along with my helmet. They are gifts from Agaslakku.
If not, then I will try throwing healing water at the being. "Each wound you heal is a thousand cuts." It said that once, wonder if it's a hint? A weakness?
If that doesn't work, with the strength of my allies, I will mend my friends wounds as we war against this being.
Even more simple; Demand, Heal, War.
---
I should try to get some rest now.
Hear me, Warrior. Hear me, Agaslakku.
I promise to make you proud.
What is broken will be reforged.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 19th, IY 7789
I am reforged. Whole. Connected to Agaslakku's warmth.
I sit under the night sky, near the graves that I have placed for the Agasians. As the night winds down, I can write my thoughts again.
I can feel the gentle flame dancing and burning again in my heart. My legs don't burn as badly, and the shaking has slowed. One thing is for sure, His flames inside of me have grown back stronger than they have ever been before.
---
I called forth for aid, for those who would stand beside me, and many rallied. More so than I would have thought possible came to me, to help me reclaim my spark. They heeded my words as I knelt before this unknown thing. The test of Agaslakku. The chalice of elemental warm flames in front of me. I mended the broken wounds between us with the most ancient of waters. Doing so...caused the towering six-armed shadow to disappear, or explode is perhaps a better description.
My plan worked, demand, heal, war.
In its place was me. Or rather, What I could be should I walk forward, forwards into the flame. So I did, I walked...and many followed again, to what could have been certain death. That is why, before we embarked upon our journey I asked those who would walk with me one question:
"Will you place your faith in me?"
And they did. It was beautiful to see such love, such support, such trust be placed in me. The path forward was a gauntlet, a trial, I was able to reclaim the Golden Galea of the Proud. I can sleep comfortably again with it hiding my visage from the world. It is a symbol, a symbol of the Warrior. With my spark restored, We stood bravely against the tides of Orc'ah and Sibilant. Rallying to a hill we fought bravely upon for a time, but the tides did not cease. Sister Amélie being a guide through the way out of the never-ending wars.
Though, whilst we were in there. People were surprised at some of the tactics I chose. To hide, to skulk. These may not be the tried and true methods of the Warrior, but they are effective stratagems nonetheless. They kept us alive, and in that lies victory. We carved our path around the fields, making it to the Temple, beyond it a path lie out. And so we made our escape. Carrying the wounded. Returning to the War-Camp.
To victory. To you.
---
[Grenth Flamebringer's Talent to Perform is Average.]
[An average quality drawing with what seems to be a lot of painstaking detail placed into it. It is now of two figures, one dwarf, and one humanoid, who are both wearing Agasian helmets. The cloak of the humanoid is ablaze in a beautiful arc of oranges and reds. The humanoid has its arms wrapped around the dwarf in an embrace, the faintest hints of a smile appear through the shadows cast on this humanoid's face. The dwarf clings tightly to the humanoid, clearly comforted by his presence. Like lovers who haven't seen each other for a time, finally reunited once more.]
---
I will continue now. Forged again, I will lift those who need a warm word. I will heal those who are hurt. I will bring warmth to those cold.
It is good to love and to be loved back again. To you, Agaslakku. To be seen, to be known, to be trusted.
To those that have stood with me, to those that still do, to those that yet will.
I will try to find some rest. Tomorrow is a new day, and with it comes new challenges. The War still wages, and I will be there. To stand with my friends, to do what I can to lift them through it. Together, we have found the strength.
"Not all battles is won by force alone." - The Warrior, the Protector, the Murderer.
Something worth heeding for the fights to come.
Flame preserve me.
Nisah 20th, IY 7789
I finally was able to find some sleep, though I might have slept in a bit too much. I feel great, warm, but not hot. My legs no longer hurt, they shake just as much as they usually do, and I can feel the Warrior's hands upon my shoulders. I did, however, have one of the most beautiful dreams I have ever had in my time amidst the Sands.
The meadow stretched endlessly, a sea of crimson flowers glowing faintly, their warmth palpable beneath my fingers. The air was rich with the scent of earth and the faint aroma of smoldering iron, while a stream murmured. It helped weave life into the dream.
At the center stood a figure, tall and still, clad in gleaming Agasian armor adorned with flame and bronze. Just like how I draw him, but probably much better. His cape billowed behind him, aflame with golden fire that didn't burn but radiated warmth. The flowers closest to him deepened into molten scarlet, leaning toward his light.
As I approached, his presence was undeniable. Somehow commanding yet reassuring, like a protective hand on my shoulder. His face was obscured by the fire's glow, but I felt his gaze, seeing through me without judgment. The air hummed with his power, I swear I could feel it on my skin. His flames.
He raised a hand, and the flames of his cape flared outward, spreading warmth across the field. It coursed through me, life-affirming and whole, as though he were reminding me of my place in the endless cycle of creation. Bel-Ishûn. Paradise.
The meadow wasn't just a dream, I think it was a vision. No, it was a promise. And in that moment, I felt his voice, not in words, but in the sense of purpose and belonging that lingered in the golden and warm light. I just can't remember the words right now.
It gives me hope, it gives me purpose. I will do the world proud, I'll bring my light to everyone I meet. I'll share the warmth with them all.
Are you watching me, Agaslakku? I'm going to make you proud.
---
[The page is splattered in crimson blood. The rest of the pages of the book are cindered and burnt to blackness. No more writing would etch these soft vellum pages. No more words of a Priest of Flame, a candle in the dark, a light extinguished. No more inspirational quotes, dreams, hopes, drawings, smiles, hugs, and wishes. No more. Only silence awaits the rest of the book. Inky black and cold. The flame will no longer preserve him, only memory will now.]