EFUPW Forums

Categorize lightning under the element of fire? It burns like fire. Or does it feel like it burning because pain sensation is intense burning by default? Maybe lightning its own element?

Reorient for new perspective: element determined by source. Rules out fire. Evocation of lightning generated by surrounding air. Air generates lightning when threshold of agitation is reached. Surpassed. The greater the aggrovocation suffered by the air the greater the ouch output of the lightning.

Make the air angry. Stronger jolts made by angrier air. Angier air equals angrier lightning equals angrier damage equals angrier pain.

Lightning sub-part of element of air. Lack of air also inflicts damage and ouches. Hold breath for long and lungs start to burn. Drowning does not feel wet.

Why is pain burning???

Friend maker.

"Animated" not right word? Doesn't move itself, but force applicadoed from outside to make it move; invisible force moving thing like a hand inside puppet.

Forces generated by evocation of air element? Can't rule out other elements. All elements have invisible sub-categories after all. Or small amounts of whatever element from right direction?

Funny halfling scribes (cute gold/black outfits) don't like my friends. Self-movitoring things still considered property of/"wielded" by evokifier. Floating mace not sentient but don't have to be rude to it. But halfling has point, floating weapons recipe for street brawls: prideful things.

Next time: make smaller, easier to hide friend. Knife!

Really like the ashfolk scribes. I should ask that one I talked about undeadites with what his name is. He's fun to talk with. Seems smart.

Starting to thinkurate I'm not in Toril anymore. Too much ash with unusually high ouchify rate. Should ask around. But too busy trying to manifest-make money. Dinars. All my stuff is gone. Or left back home. Need new stuff. So much to replace.

Can't focuslite too much on arcane study though. Not healthy to be obsessed. Expand interests. Find a hobby.

Maybe politics?

Inviso-displacement excellent spell for keeping others alive. Not fun standing back watching others do all the fighting though.

Work in new hobby of politics slow. Politics closely tied with religion. Religion also another hobby to develop?

Chat with Mari revealed close parallels. First thought was Loviator. Then remembered always mix up Loviator with Beshaba. Beshaba more accurate. Pray to avert bad luck.

Old names of unreachable deities. Prayers cannot reach them. But new gods fill old roles. Roles exist because of shared understanding/perception by sentients?

Mystryl. Mystra. Azuth. Savras. Velsharoon. Izdu has their mantle here. Except maybe Velsharoon. None of the Wheel want to touch necromancy with a ten foot pole.

Not everything is as it appears.

How does inviso-displacement and other related spells interact with light? Bend? Redirect? Teleport? Experiment further. Need un-biased sample. Surprise cast on people.

Finally had meaty-thick conversation about politics and underlying philosophy.

Enfranchisement of people as a whole (maximalization of voting bloc) key tenant of White League. Lucrecia made good arguments for masses of people being valued and important. But unsure if arguments entirely blast-proof, still heavily based in idealism with lesser consideration for real-practical conditions.

Politics constant experiment in wants conflicting with scarce resources. Results always intriguing.

Arson and pyromania surprisingly common aspect of political discourse. Thankfully yelling and shouting is the average standard. Politics is the organization of power. Fire is very powerful, even if most of it is outputted as heat. Hard part is organization.

Need to make decision on leagues soon. May not be able to buy voice before next election but making sendings is cheap.

Line of basic animal transmutations very basic, very useful. VERY BORING. Utility key when lives at stake. Can do fun-explosioning stuff on down time. Throw scintillating spheres at birds later.

For now: work. Need food. Need water. Need place to sleep. Need voice. Need money–dinars. League of Gold justified on their focus on financial power. Time scarce. Goods, service, and labour must be exchanged; goods, services, and labour poor forms of currency. Numericitation of value into coinage alacritizes flow of value and valuables. Work of others becomes work other others can use.

Does fetishization of this structure make for good policy? The system just a means to an end. The end is important. The end is policy. A systematic structure is not a morale compass.

Woke up, heard no news about the missing baby. Very sad. Shame I don't have a scroll of scrying. Or anyone else, apparently(?)

Child-finding mission went pretty badly. Janissaries arguing with Tablet people. Astronomers stealing flowers. Everyone running around with no solid plan or idea.

Looked in tents. Followed grass. Looked in dry well. No baby. Didn't know what else to do either. But at least I figured that out and went to bed.

If you don't pay attention a thousand dinari can quickifily disappear. Big lizard fight included acid projectiling totems, used up insulation potions. Brew more insulation potions. But need to brewtrate equal amounts between three potencies.

Can't have three lesser insulations, zero moderate insulations, and three greater insulations. Unbalanced resources is poor preparation. Results in un-efficient applicication of resources. Efficiency is having the right tool for the right situation.

Potion ingredients use up a lot of dinari if you don't pay attention.

Then Nasreen shows up to trade scrolls. Bought some from her for often requested potions.

Then Wajeeb shows up with a BARREL of electro-lightning. Had to buy that. Couldn't say no.

Was half way to buying a voice but now back to a third. Work work work. Dig for dinari. Brew for dinari. Kill for dinari.

Keep this spell perpetually active. Maybe perma-tattoo onto my palm?

Politicking fun! Thinking about policy after policy. Calculizing problems. Formucriting solutions.

Thought being supporter of Purple League would sate interest but proposal from Marquis from Savary invigorating.

So much to learn. So much to solve. Even basics opportunity for expanding mind-knowledge. Assembly? Allotment? Accord? So many A-words. Need to finalize glossary in mind memory space with proper definitions.

Conscript a scribe to provide private tutoring on intricacies of Well's governance.

Arrived late to Assembly, still saw hours of it. Very interesting. Exciting.

Barely contained self. Wanted to yell and argue at so many points. But no Voice. Not yet. Passing paper to Bashir was probably bad idea. Probably against rules? No one yelled at me though.

Surprised by Legate Alriyh. Smart, insightful. Quick to speak to core of issue. Also the problem just beneath the surface. What he said over Bellows was dumb. Why say dumb thing when actually smart?

A trick? False opening? Feint?

Really good at picking battles? So good, can't tell what the battle about and where it is.

Two sub-factors of politics. Politics of policy. Politics of people. Alriyh taking poorly of caravneers dumb. But who was he speaking to? Why? What for? Mind constantly busy with policy. Can't forget people.

What's wrong with how I talk!?

What's wrong with my name?!

Am I weird?

Is this another part of the politics of people? People have varying degrees of expected behaviour. Mine often not in line with average. As that astronomer with the fancy head-piece said: I am beyond typical deviation.

Deviations good. Means greater effect of unexpected variables and factors. Things worth isolating, searching for, studying, discovering, confirming.

But if the goal is to garner political support, facilitate cooperation, achieve communal goals, deviations that repel people becomes a liability. Hindrance.

Good reason and opportunity to continue work on sonic-recupping-device. Talk into cup. Record own voice. Play back. Study own speech. Identify differences compared to typical speech patterns.

Also ask others? Deviation is relative to the mean. I am not the best person to answer question: how am I different?

Severe lack of speech pathologists/therapists in Well.

What time is it? What day is it? So busy. Need to think of more efficient time/calendar system.

Haven't stopped since primaries started. So much data to collect. So much data gone unrecorded. Need to catch up where I can.

Numbers related to policy. Valuations of appeal of policy. Rates of peoples' interest, disinterest. Numbers of dinari. Numbers of signatures. Numbers of prospective votes. Reactions of debate crowd. Reactions to my modified personality, speech patterns. Number of times voice slips, people commenting me being weird.

Data. So. Much. Data.

Reviewing as fast as I can. At this rate, impossible to confirm all data.

But then there's the calculations with too many unknown variables.

Cosine both helps and hinders. Why? Initially favoured Nasreen. Constantly asking me to become nadiri. Gave advice on Purple League supporters. Then probably manipulated Estellise into endorsing me? Me winning or losing primary both benefits Cosine. He probably already calculated this. Increasing social capital with me would be good next step for him if he is satisfied with range of possible outcomes to all variables.

Lawari issue. Sebastian, Anais, Joryn. Uncommitted anti-establishment attitude driven by impulse? Superstition? Unsubstantiated feelings unsupported by evidence? They say I do not "get it". But refuse or unable to define "it". Do they "get it" themselves? Can "it" be quantified? Cannot comprehend the ease they are in with their lack of data. Does not seem to be a problem they want to resolve.

Cannot stop shaking. Primary results expected soon. So exciting. Results are more data.

Result surprising. Chances of winning primary were not zero. But my calculations had Nasreen ahead and favoured. Possibility is not probability. Probability is a predictor, end result is never locked in. The result is the result when the equation is finally calculated. No other real, hard result exists until that point.

But something still feels off. Double checked numbers. Triple checked. Still feels like I missed a variable or two.

Surprise has not stopped me. Nor slowed me. The result was still a new point of data. Ideas flooded my mind. So much to write. So much to do. So much to draw--though drawing skills poor, maybe hire someone?

The flood is never ending. One question leads to another. Questioning an unknown variable leads to all the other unknown variables that could be included in the same equation and formula. Could swim in it. Could drown in it.

Could not sleep. Too many questions. Too many unknown answers. Too many contingencies to plan to discover, plan for. Too many conversations to schedule and plan. So many things to think about and so many things to do.

If this is what it means to be Legate, I'm going to like it.

Platform refinement in progress. Can't wait to see Narwen's work.

Speaking to people--Accorded, especially--less so. Doing more chasing than expected. Need to ring bells.

List of prospective magistrates and prefects shrinking. Only know so much of Purple League members. Some more active and about than others. Knowing people difficult. Each individual a wealth of variables.. Nasreen seems like obvious choice but some unknowns. Perfect if unknown variables ignored. Need to speak with her. Lack of data makes me hesitant about her on many issues. Could also use help/insight on ashfolk.

Sebastian possible decent choice but then conversation about Lawari happened. Wild ways of Kula may be partly antithetical to orderly society. Wildlife cooperate, participate in wheel of life. But the wheel grinds, inherently violent. Strong survive, the weak feed, fertilize.

Other good prospects are outside the League, have yet calculated if that is favourable or not.

Conversation with Qari, first look inside Legate office. Also deeper look into Qari. Preliminary knowledge compared to Qari's words points to paranoia. But more data needed to know for sure. Need to calculate whether (accidentally) calling Qari a potato benefits or hinders campaign.

Check with Bashir about Qari's concerns. Reliable. Aisha also seems reliable. Need to speak with her. Time and availability difference is bothersome. Maybe Estellise has a point with her time-traveling divinations.

Days since last notes? Lost track. Four? Five?

All been a blur. Even calmer, quieter days.

Impromptu speech turned disaster turned rallying success. At least think so. Tunnel vision. Focused on energizing campaign, on making noise, producing impact, failed to hear what was said by man ten feet away.

Then a pause in time. After the camel dung landed. Stared into the crowd. Eyes like lenses, saw everything despite dim light of night. Time stopped. Not because of spell. No data to corroborate. Time stopped. Simultaneously, so many thoughts in mind and no thoughts at all.

One minute. Two. Needed to decide. Act. All that data but not enough mind to process it.

Eventually mouth moved again. Regained ability of speech. Initial plan no longer suitable. Needed to improvise. Rancini and Domhnall rushed to fill in. Provided new opportunity, tactic.

Not enough in wider view of things. Election decided early, within first day of voting.

Lot of lessons learned. Lot to learn from own mistakes. Lot to learn from others' examples. Lot to learn from Domhnall. Lot to learn from Rancini. Lot to learn in discovering even most confident assumptions can be for granted.

Lessons for future use.

Maybe calculations, tabulations, and projections will be wrong. Maybe probability will be probability yet again. Unlikely.

Does not matter.

The science continues regardless.

Election over. Days ago. Work continues. Pressure lightened.

Interesting puzzle. Political environment was heavily lopsided. Raises questions on how to approach future elections. Appeal to the lop side? Build up the un-lop side? Lopsided balance of power unhealthy, makes the Well inflexible. Unable to adapt to changing conditions.

Reaction to voice and speech modulation generally positive. Still collecting data. Widening of spectrum from patterns identified as "silly" or "casual" to include "serious" and "business-like" elucidates social interactions. Greater communication with more people improves range and accuracy of datasets.

Adjusted emphasis of name has similar effect. But data maybe affected by timeline. Laws of time predicates more people will use "Margo" if they don't know what the B stands for. Interesting to note who continue to use "Boops" despite shift in name use.

Banafsi royalty is fascinating conundrum full of questions and unknowns. Provenance? Authenticity? Lineage? Military capability? What sort of republic sends own people to be turned into machines?

Almost glad Domhnall facing these questions instead of me. Almost. Perplexed why he treated Squeev poorly.

Had meeting with Marcellus and Nasreen. Fun. Much discussed. Problems mused over. Great brain storming.

Then: Assembly. Hephaestus of Banafsi sitting right there. Couldn't help asking; opportunity right there to gather data. So many others danced around the issue. So I asked. Upset Domhnall. Showed him up. Good. Let him see how it should be done.

Realize how much I wanted that Legate's seat. Asking questions. Coming up with ideas, solutions. Thinking, planning one thing. Executing another. Anyone can do the former. The latter requires power, authority. Opportunities and options passing by without consideration a waste.

Disadvantages? Domhnall and Marcellus tied to their desks. Or within Well's walls. But chance to make use of delegative strategies. Domhnall ran after Glop. He could have sent others. Psychic projection seen by others, not by Domhnall alone. Send Janissaries, Astronomers, Rose. They would have been led to children once closer.

Domhnall always needs to be front and centre?

Where did mango come from? How did it enter pack? Doesn't matter. Not important. Maybe. Or not as important.

Heard some whispered words. Confused at first. Then came possible realizations. Much provocation. Much intrigue.

Exciting.

Other side to excitement: misery of ignorance.

Elucidations satisfying but, unknowns are uncomfortable. Mystery intriguing, but being ignorant of data and information a nagging itch in every inch of bone and flesh. Not knowing is painful.

Unavoidable. Data and time is infinite but perspective is limited. Knowledge of world and reality will always be behind.

Another lesson learned during election: must become comfortable with uncertainty. Embrace it. Cannot hesitate. Cannot sit still and do nothing. Cannot deny that uncertainty always exists to some degree.

Gambling a vice but gamblers take action. Gathering as much data as possible is only improving the odds. Not omniscient. Therefore all decisions and actions inherently gambling.

Investigate. Ask questions. Gather the data. Then act. Follow through. Criticized others for lacking it, do not be hypocrite.

Getting lucky always a good feeling.

Ghost of giant serpent. Giant serpent in the sky. Giant serpent on the earth. Funnily, not worst serpent. Less worried of giant serpent than smaller ones. But snakes not usually bad. Misunderstood. Some social, friendly. Snake swarms just snakes having good time. Big snake cuddle ball.

Did not invent "boopsiedaisy" but is amusing. Add to lexicon? Want to. But carefully. Worked hard to appear serious. Don't step backwards.

Their smile unnerving. But welcoming? Felt welcomed. Encroaching on new territory, spurred on by curiosity, wanderlust. Small doubt in back of mind: taking big, unnecessary risk? But maybe will be nothing. Maybe will get what I want. Good excuse to speak with them more often. Opportunity to learn many things.

Work and plans progress. Proud of work enfranchising Janissaries. No guarantee of returns. Shifting political board still improvement. Accord exists for a reason. The Well better off when balance--even tenuous--prevents domination. Sandstone College opening also significant change to board. But how to fit all the pieces together?

Told myself don't contest candidacy this election. Sit back. Watch. Continue to learn. Caught off guard by all the encouragement. "Encouragement".

She was a sword, shield. Cast magic on her. Magic protected her so she could kill things. Many things. Big things. Rich things. We find treasure, dinari, supplies. Split and share. Worked together. Became rich together.

Loud. Abrasive. Stupid. Don't remember when all that stopped bothering me. Change, shift in relationship happened quickly, naturally, unnoticed. From "that idiot is going to get killed" to "Yes, Anais! Kill that sibilant!".

Did not track data. Did not notice the change. When was the break through? When did stranger become acquaintance become companion become friend? When was the change in trajectory? So many variables. Confluxing and entwining with one another. Our spats genuine at first, then jests by the end. Her screaming once ear piercing became smile-inducing.

When? Where? How?

Unanswerable questions now. No new data points forthcoming. Or expected.

Need keep better track. Many others in the Well with similar patterns. Many others could have similar patterns.

One supposedly fond of me. So am told. Very fond based on wider than average smile measurements. But them seemingly also a black box of data now. No further points to calculate, graph. Feels like robbery. Lost opportunities.

Then: Bashir. Hugged me. Can't remember when last hugged. Surprised, unexpected. But shouldn't be. Should have kept better track of hug-or-not-hug status of relationship. Should have calculated probability of hugging based on other socio-relationship patterns and cues. Should know these things.

These things still data. Important.

Data inconclusive.

What do I do?

Prepared for days. Knew possibility of trial. Wrote notes. Drafted arguments. Planned strategies. Prepared. Prepared. Prepared.

Tried to warn Lawcleaver. Told him of notes. Preparations. Other Janissaries questions leading to nothing. Overreach negatively impacts Janissaries' reputation. Reduces willful and eager cooperation. Didn't listen.

Should have. All went according to plan. My plan. Only minimal deviation.

Preparation; study; verified calculations of data: all worthwhile.

But why does same process fail in other cases? In this one case? Why still not know?

Been trying to meet with Domhnall for days. Trial provided face-to-face opportunity. Slipped into office. Spoke. Gathered data. Got everything I wanted. Answers. Satisfactory answers. Everything he said answered all my questions of him. Genuine answers for genuine questions. Could not imagine anyone being more honest. Could not think anything else I wanted from him.

Still--feels like all data points unknown. Have all numbers yet feels like they are all blank. Or changing. Unfixed. Shifting. Imaginary. Have all the data yet still everything feels devoid of surety. It is all--

Inconclusive.

What do I do?

No new plan. No new idea. More data--but nothing usable for building, for elaborating, for expanding the calculation.

Conversation with Marcellus. Needed it. Sought it for days. Dreaded it.

Felt concerns lifting, felt worry ease. He had said nothing yet. I had said nothing. Others in room spoke. Interrupted an unknown conversation but listening was elating.

The others treat him cruelly. Perceive senility, infirmity. Think him puppet that needs strings pulled. Fragile treasure to be locked away. Wrong. All of them. Despite age, he is keen. Full of ideas and faculties to calculate them. Despite age, enthusiastic--tired and old only in body, not in mind or spirit.

Never been more inspired in my life.

Then, just us two. Asked him question that flummoxed me, cursed me. His answer not much different from others. Still: more relief. Did not understand at first why. His answer was not satisfying, did not present a logical solution. Answer was more response that left question unanswered. Yet, still, good enough. An acceptable answer.

"One cannot solve for the heart--it must be felt within."

What, then? Did I feel?

He had no answer. But he recognized the question. Its validity, importance.

Fellowship.

Felt fellowship in recognizing a wrong.

Most data nonsentient. Most data don't exercise agency. Most data not self-aware of own existence.

Number does not choose what number it is. Fact does not change what truth it is.

Reality cruel, agency and power exist in so few things. But even living, thinking things have less control than they should.

Butcher knew the right, smart things but forced to make errors, nonoptimal decisions, mistakes. How many times he want to do something else? How many times he want to be somewhere else?

He knew this. Hope that, at least, comforting.

Could be trick. Anything can be trick.

But fondness probably natural reaction to someone opening up to you?

Caught of guard. Unexpected. He answered questions that did not know wanted answered, questions that would have been fine unanswered. What I learned elicited elation similar to conversation with Marcellus. Vindication and camaraderie in doubt.

If trick, if ploy, could be easy to turn tables. Could be easy to take what was told, use against him.

Despite all fun, interest, riddle of political machinations. Don't want to ruin him bearing himself to me.

One day left. Same rush as before. Data. Rumours. Factions. People. Putting it all together. Formulating calculations. Making predictions to determine best course of action.

Not even me running. Still fun. Exciting. Intriguing. Help where I can. Use dinari where sensible.

No regrets. Offers of help for Voices given to those I trust. To some degree. All meet minimum standard. Some standards lower than others. Ultimately, would not help if did not think them deserving.

No guarantees. Of course. But don't seek any. They are free people. Respecting their decisions another thing they deserve. Plus, votes cannot be bought. Even if promises made, anyone can break them at last split second. All it takes is moment of whimsy. And closed voting booth door. Or just random button mashing.

Didn't need my help. He won by large, impressive margin. My work generated approximately five, six votes.

But still fun. Each new thing learned invigorating.

But so much to learn. Much to contemplate. How do I do what he did? Is learning everything enough?

Each election that passes makes me feel small, stupid. Then those feelings overcome by want of vindication.

Countdown to next election already begun. Many things to consider. Options vast. Also possibly limited by social pressure if current state of things continue.

Maybe not enough time.

Implementation of new name showing good progress. How people react interesting; hint at their true perspective. Some still use "Boops", but out of familiarity? Disdain? And those who use "Beatrice", out of respect? Relief?

Was asked if "Boops" was real name. Does not matter. Name decided by those who hold them. Whatever call self always real. "Beatrice" good name. Already very good monikers coined by others.

Aurelio asked deep question.

Why do I want to become Legate? Question touches many parts of who I am. Answer provided was practical, personal, philosophical. A good, deep question. But think Aurelio's take away was shallow answer. First thing that came to his mind tainted every word I said after.

Frustrating. But not surprising. Reminder that others have different mindset than me. Hopefully Aurelio re-evaluates in future.

Feels odd. When others speak as if I am the experiment. Evaluating numbers. Tweaking variables. So used being the one who tweaks, adjusts the numbers. Mustn't forget that the experimenter affects the experiment. Experimenter is an experiment.

Almost cringed, winced, when others spoke of me, despite visible presence. A tool to be moved about the table, worked upon material, gadgets, gizmos. But no reason to interpret as insult. The hand that drives the wrench, the mind that puts it into place, extension of the people that seek to build.

Feel better this time. Time feels short but, objectively, have fair amount. Planned from the beginning this time. Previously, inspired into impulsivity. Now I can plan better. Others can plan better. Hopefully all plans align. Or at least parallel without intersecting collisions.

Can't forget: as I observe, so am I observed. Disarming, when others speak of me, to me. Noting things about me. How others react to me. But good, it is all feedback. Important data. Bashir. Domhnall. Hu. Ironjaw. Many others. Nothing more jarring, nothing so strongly reminds of existence in the world--sharing in the grand experiment that is reality--than their kindness.

Anais only one who ever asked.

Forced it, even.

Because she was good friend?

Or asshole?

Doesn't matter.

"It is not personal."

When said, initial reaction is feeling insulted. Feels personal. But they're right. Those who say "it is not personal" work for greater things. Faction. League. Higher ranked superiors. Instruments without agency. Spokes of wheel.

Duty to a sworn oath. Duty to follow orders. Never swore an oath, joined Purple of own volition, just started acting like one of them. How different my decisions from an oath? Can leave any time. Can others?

Engida's tale lead to realization that agency lacking for many. Even if they deny it. Promises made have long lasting effects.

Need be careful. Don't be tempted by things not being personal. The saying won't be enough to calm everyone.

Already exhausted.

No surprise three week old plans fell apart. Flexibility, adaptability as important as forethought--maybe more. Especially in chaos, disorganization.

Conflicted if worth running. Others have strengths; vice versa: weaknesses.

Sephidra: Seeing her work, admiration grown tenfold. But polarizing with Astronomers, Janissaries.

Hu: Heart. Earnest. Honest. Best things to say of a person. Best things maybe not enough.

Hamdan: Eh.

Seeing Lady Shabani's signature surprisingly overwhelming. Pride? Accomplishment? Not first time but feels different. Makes running feel worth it.

Realization: elections unpleasant. Campaigning unpleasant. Contrarians unpleasant.

Still want to be Legate. One day. But path to getting there hellish.

Relieved when Sephidra won the primary; didn't have to suffer being candidate again.

Role and purpose in question. Talking, working with Sephidra has been enjoyable. Not preferred, not ideal, but still feels productive.

Don't need be at the top to get things done.