*Written in his usual untidy hand*

I have been meaning to start this for a while, but i never got the chance to get around to it. So much happend in such a short space of time the deaths of Danni and Linda, Najara leaving. (i miss her so much) but i suppose that it's about time that i started putting my thoughts down on paper that way if it happens again i would be able to remember things quicker than i did before.

So where do i start.... The begining i guess.

I was born a slave to the drow, at least i think i was i don't ever remember seeing the surface world or the sun. I remember being a house slave and performing chores for my "masters" the drow treated us pretty badly. There was a women who called me Kyle, I don't remember her well she died when i was young. I think that she may have been my mother? I remember that she was afraid of them, of what the drow would do to her.

I learned fast you had to. It was the only way to avoid being whipped and beaten i was always a quick learner so i never got beaten, well at least not often. I watched the drow as i watched me fellow slaves and from them i learnt how to speak other languages, how to read and write, the drow would speak to us in thier tongue they would rarley speak to us in our own. It was from one of the "Masters" that i earned the name Fox, The name kind of stuck i didn't even know what a Fox was until Linda (poor Linda how i wish i could speak with you now) told me.... I hope i can see one someday.

*Stops aburptly as if he has something else to do.*

I spoke with Eleina last night, she is still mad at me for insulting her Honour. That wasn't my fault how did i know that Amendir would actually go through with using one of those stupid lines on her. Still it was funny.

I would still like to be her friend after all she is.. was close to Najara but i am not sure that is possible now. I should try and find a way to make it up to her.

Now where was i....

Life was tough but i survived as a house slave, that was until i offended one of my "masters" somehow.... i still have no idea what i did to make them do that to me and i have asked myself why over and over, but still i have never had an answer to that question.

I was still a child when they sent me to the prison i had no choice in what happend next, they took me away stripped me and left me in a cell. At first i cried out i asked what i had done but the drow "gaurds" ignored me i shouted for hours but i got no response. Then that Female "Gaurd" (the bitch) led another man into my cell, the other "gaurds" stood behind her and then that was when everything changed.

The other prisoner was older than me, (I was young i had not reached maturity yet) he ran at me and attacked me, i remember him hitting me over and over... his hands wrapped around my throat choking the life out of me...I fought as hard as i could but it was not enough he was killing me... i scrambled with my hands looking for something that i could use i found a rock... i hit him with it over and over.

He fell back and i let my anger take me, i smashed the rock into his face again and again, i remember it breaking his head, cracking it open. I looked down after i had stopped the blood slick on my hands, he was dead his face a red ruin. I tried to clean the blood off but it wouldn't leave my hands it was so sticky... I went to the corner of the cell and sat in it. I cried for what i had done.. no for what they made me do i remember looking up at the "gaurds" i saw thier faces.. they started laughing at me. Laughing at what they had made me do... they found it funny.

*Stops again suddenly*

Last night went well, not really, Verisa led a group of us consisiting of Feriyn, Merien, Dezria, Saphia and myself to hunt down a gnomeish cult in the mine. Needless to say i took a hit to the head when i woke up i was Naked.

Some Gnome decided to strip me, Saphia too apparently.

I talked to Dezria quite a bit i like her is it wrong to have feelings for someone so soon i know that i have grown close to both Jallia and Morewen but i am so confused part of me still loves Najara i think that it always will. But i have feelings for others, Espically Jallia she is to be married though so i will keep them to myself.

Verisa and Feriyn found the whole thing funny making jokes as if the gnomes had abused my body while it lay there. I am angry with them but they don't know how could they....

Now where was i...

I don't remember how many men i killed it was a lot the fights we had where always to the death and the drow made it clear what would happen if we refused, that they would kill us both. Some of the ones i killed no doubt deserved it others... perhaps not. One day i was taken from my cell the "bitch" took a knife and shaved my head, i had by this point reached Maturity then they put some kind of potion on it it burned and my hair never grew back. At first it hurt and i wondered why they tortured me later i figured it out they where marking me.

I fought several more times after that against similar men... all of us had bald heads... they where selecting the best singling us out for a purpose. Slaves need to be replaced and slaves must be strong... This i learned later. The wanted us as stock... Breeding stock.

*Stops again ink staining the page*

Elly told me last night that she and Alsendt are to be married, i am happy for them but at the same time sad... Everyone seems to have some one who they care about Jozan has May, Alia has Fryian, Jallia with Geleiod, Gailing and Meldor, Jon and Ruby... I fell so alone... Kaddaz would understand but i don't think he will even speak with me he lost Two wifes (poor Jirala i liked her) and another person whom he loved ( I miss Danni too i could use her honesty now)..... I miss her so much, why did she leave.

Back to my imprisonment.

The first time was odd, one of the "gaurds" led a women into the cell i got ready to fight but was informed not to bother, They stripped her so she was naked like me, A Moon Elf she was Beautiful she took me to the cot that served as my bed and there she showed me what they expected me to do (I remember the "bitch" watching us)... For the longest time i thought she like the others who seemed "Willing" had been just that, the truth was they no longer had the strength to resist. I suppose they just wanted to make it as enjoyable for us both.

For the first while the women came and i did what was expected they brought elfs, humans... Half elves...others as well at first they brought the ones who accepted what had happend then.... they brought those who had been newly captured.

On the way back from the Blue Mushroom Maldure the dwarf attacked Verisa, that piece of short garbage i should have cut him apart for that... She was unarmed and he had his weapons drawn spouted some crap about not taking insults anymore and the like... No wonder they banished him if he goes on like that he will wind up dead and i don't think that anyone will be too sorry to see the back of him.

Kaddaz and i should have done something.....

Back to what i was talking about...

The "bitch" brought a young women into the cell with the other gaurds this one was fighting she kicked and screamed they tied her down and stripped her... She then made it clear what they wanted me to do and that if i didn't they would kill her and make me watch then have me killed.

So i did what they asked.... She screamed at me and begged me not to.. I hated myself for doing it, The others in the prison they enjoyed doing this i learned later, my "Fellow prisoners" I hated them all espically the Drow for what they made me do...

I still wonder if Danni was right maybe i should have let them kill me.

Najara i... *the entry stops here several lines are put through what is written next*

I dreamed of her two night's ago saw her face.. I couldn't get out of bed afterwards the dream was like the past when we had been together... like old times.... I spent the whole day in bed trying to get back to that dream trying not to wake up....

When i got out of bed i spoke with Saphia for a while. She told me that she didn't believe in love... Once i believed that but then i Saw her face and then i knew how i felt... i miss her. I wish Jallia was around i could use someone to talk too about my feelings. Alia and Fryian continue courting... I am happy for them but it is painful to be around them they remind me of what i miss.

I should continue.

I don't remember how many new slaves they brought me in my time in the prison (nor do i want too) it was a lot there was a time that i saw thier faces in my dreams accusing me... But that was then. I have no idea how long i was in the prison for, I was a child when i went in that i do know it could have been Eight years perhaps longer, i lost track of all time.

Looking back the violence and the things i did all blur together it's hard to seperate them. The drow wanted me to be a monster i see that now as clear as day..But i am not a monster nor will i become one... The only part that i have left to Write now is my escape... even after all this time i don't understand why it happend did the gods choose me.... was it chance...

I think i will go back to bed.... maybe i can dream of Najara again.

I spoke with Jallia about my feelings today told her that i think i was falling for three diffrent women, Morwen, Dezria and well i didn't tell her the third was her, after all she is to be married i will keep that from her i think... Is it possible to love one women and have feelings for others... i am still so confused.... My friendship with Jallia will have to suffice.... As for Dezria and Morwen... i guess i will have to choose..

Jon insulted all paladins by calling them Whores i nearly struck him as that would include Jallia.... It took a lot of self control... He should learn to keep his mouth shut.

Now back to my past.

My escape... I was being led from the cell by the "bitch" i am not sure what for perhaps another fight perhaps another reason, there was an earthquake and the floor collapsed, when i awoke we where in a cavern i had never seen the cave in had cut us off from the prison. I have no idea how long we fell but it was far. I had some injuries but nothing major, the worst was my rib that had broken i never have let it heal right, she was hurt but she would live.

I saw my chance for escape but something else took control as i watched her lie there injured i thought of her laughing at me laughing at the women she tied down and made me.... I wanted her to suffer wanted her to feel what i felt inside the anger and the hate... She begged me to help her and i felt my hate swell inside me. I. I... *The next several lines are scored through*

Last night was "fun" after helping to fight undead at a staircase, Saphia myslef Fyrian, Alia Merien, Droim, and Issa went to clear a temple infested with them, we brought another called Andrew Webber with us. The man was a fool he kept charging at the undead and nearly got us all killed, We asked him to leave as he was putting the rest of us in danger but he refused so Arthan, and Droim defended us from this fool....

He left and reported us to the watch, Aristotle (an arse) Barellion, Fined those who stepped forward Droim, Arthan, Alia, and Issa that we had accompany us.... I then recounted what happend between myself, Nebbel and the watch to them. But that's a tale for another day.

I told Alia how i was feeling and admited to her my feelings for Jallia i made her promise never to tell anyone.. Jallia is to be married and it is not right for me to interfere with her happiness, she advised me to think on my feelings and choose between Morwen, and Dezria.... How can you choose when you heart wants so many diffrent things.... Back to the escape.

I ran into the underdark as far and as fast as my legs could carry me for the first time in my life i was free. I don't remember how long i wandered for but it was a while then i came to the city of sanctuary after avoiding trolls, and the other monsters in the underdark. I had found a place that i could truly call home.... A place where for the first time in my life i actually had family.

I spoke for a long time with Dezria last night... She wore the dancing outfit for me... i wanted to see her dance she looked so good in it i wanted to hold her to.... I think i am falling for her.... i am so confused... she is attractive, and i like her, does she like me? Is it wrong to be so confused to want more than one thing...

I took some paid jobs yesterday nothing big just enought to get me some coin i worked with Alia and spoke with her and Saphia for a while about how i am feeling.... I look forward to seeing Dezria again.

I was talking about nebbel....

It was actually the first time i had met Najara.. Myself and Nebbel where in the rock with Koli talking with Najara and some others, Talath came in and ordered him to put Koli away which he did, then he summoned Poochy some kind of beetle... Talath attacked Nebbel and so myslef and another leapt to his aid, I didn't know he was a watch man and so i found myself up on charges after being knocked out. I was fined 1000 gold and banished from the rock for a month.... Najara spoke in our defence i fell for her the first time i saw her.... She was beautiful and spoke so elegantly in our defence i still love her......

Arthan has fallen.... he fell in the temple of hoar, and i was unable to save him. The circumstances surrounding it are confused at best he was attacked and killed by a half orc (whom later denied all knowledge) this was seen by one of the party who managed to escape. Fryian Myself and Alia along with one of the original party memebers went into retrieve the body after Legodia failed to return with it.

We found Legodia's body but we where then attacked by a necromancer who bested us the greatest horror of all was Arthan's body had been turned into one of his undead servants.... he let us live but we could not reach a comprimise that he would agree upon... The Druid we had with us was out of control..... no wonder he fell.

I spoke with Dezria again, i find myself enchanted by her.... Kara told me that she was tainted... But i still care for her... The last person whom i knew was tainted and i was close too was Teredrift... i hope this ends better. We went to lower in a group with Kara, Jallia, Tarnis, Myself and others (after some nut paladin tried to attack Dezria he kept insulting her i challanged him to a duel but he backed down the coward). Dezria followed us and we saw some kind of trial... Conducted by Ellie and lower they have destroyed the lift though i don't know why...

After that Tarnis took us to see thomas i was impressed with the amount of self control that both Jallia and Kara showed in a shop run by a necromancer and filled with undead.... He had no information but i am hopeful that if he hears anything thomas will forward me a message, it was a good thing that i was there as Tarnis, Kara and that bloody druid would have made a mess of things..

I hope we can save him.

No luck with Arthan.... Erin and Ian are to be married i some how got roped into his engagment party along with Ashlee, we all wound up horribly drunk. Afterwards i think i talked with Ashlee for a while i don't remember much about it i hope i didn't say anything stupid apparantly i told Ashlee she was beautiful...She is seeing some mystery man... i wonder who it is, I saw her and Kaddaz later he told me that he is sworn to protect him and her. I wonder why.

I took marvelo to the shop of undeath to see thomas, he says that they have been enemies thankfully thomas did not recognise him.

I talked to merien again she is quite brilliant.. she told me of her dream of the spellgaurd tower being the centre of the web and the agents being spiders.. syphoning of the magic, that was the dream she told me about yesterday... Today she told me about her dream of the marble being attacked and the played with by the Lizard, i find her fascinating... she is a very good friend and she sat and listened to all my problems... I think i may have told Ashlee them as well although i was very drunk at the time of ian's party. Merien is afraid of the spell gaurd she thinks that they are out to get her...

I duelled with Ruby Fyrian and Kaddaz.... Ruby later on called me a pervert because i am attracted to Dezria and Morwen at least i think that is why i will have to speak with her i found it difficult to follow what she is on about.... I can't help they way i feel for them..

I told merien about Teredrift it was good to get that weight off my shoulders i have been carrying it for a while she is a good listner and an even better friend.

Hmmm i should talk about the past.

Phyrria tried to recruit me into her devil cult not long after being in sanctuary she took me aside and told me she was working for a counciler and asked me all of these bizare questions... What if an entity could grant me power would i take it... she even offered herself to me as part of the deal i had to leave before we could come to an agreement. I wonder what happend to her i know the cult had something to do with Shauna's death and Kata's disapperance. When she was offering herself to me all i could think of was Najara... She got me through it i think.

Afterwards i told Najara about it i told her what she offered she was proud of me, then i told her what the drow did word for word.. she then told me she was raised in the ilithid slave pits about how she managed to avoid them and how she escaped i felt my feeling for her grow then..

Why does everything get so complicated quickly... Verisa found out about Dezria's taint and told Kaddaz who in no uncertain terms thretend my life he even had the audacity to mention Teredrift..... I held my tongue back well enough i told him he had no right to lecture me i did not tell him why.... What right does he have he drove his own wife a women he loved to kill herself... and then he brought back mention of her the women who's lies he beleived He stood there and stood there and watched me be attacked...

Verisa and Dezria got in an argument Verisa left When Dezria stated that she had saved her life..... I think she will be okay but i don't know... Even Jallia told me to stay away from her... i want to do what Jallia says but she has someone i still care for her but...

I spoke with Dezria i told her how i feel and what has been said... She understands i hope that will be enough for now.. we can not be together not when all around us it causes problems....

I met Shayne and Nina when Shayne told me his last name i was taken aback but he is no relation to Danni or Chell.. Both have become good friends.. Issa is scared she feels Mallgor is after her.. we spoke on the subject but not much came of it we just told each other to stay safe and trust only those we know...

I saw her *A line is scored throught the rest of this paragraph*

I should talk about Teredrift but i am not in the mood maybe next time.

Maalgor is dead..... I can't beleive it we encountred him hours before he died near Hrunpur the mushroom farmer... Verisa, Shayne Myself, Nina, Lasswen... we all fought him and we couldn't put a dent into him.. He killed Issa i managed to grab her body and things and take them back to sanctuary we asked the priests to revive her and they did... She knew Maalgor was after her so why did she draw him out why didn't she stay in sanctuary i am glad we got to her but had we not been there by coincedence she would be dead... maybe the gods helped us.

The Staircase nearly claimed Gailing as well i don't know what i would have done had she died i wouldn't want Meldor to blame me for what happend but we got over run so fast... i went back and pulled her out she was unconcious but lived. I am glad both are okay her and issa i don't want to lose anymore friends.

I talked to lasswen for a while about her past she told me about the surface it sounded so beautiful.... I did something i always wanted to do to an elf i touched her ears they are so delicate. We talked for quite a while and she told me about the seasons and the forest i can almost picture them.... almost.

I was talking about Teredrift.... I know that she is no was my friend she was always so full of life a part of me misses her... it was because of her that Najara and i got together i think she spoke to her of me i know that she told me what her Father did to her the killing of her baby and the banishment of the devil she loved... she still loved him i have often wonderd if he loved her back.

It was in the temple of Hoar where she went beserk and started to act out of charchter that i knew something was wrong i asked Shadila for help and Eleina... When Teredrift found out she was furious she used my guilt and lied to Kaddaz he watched as she killed me... I still remember looking into her eyes as she did it... it was almost as if she wasn't there anymore.

No one has seen her for months i wonder where she went.. Part of me hopes she still lives if she understood why i did what i had to, even although she felt i had betrayed her and the other part of me hopes that i never see her again.

Jallia found out the truth of who i feel Gearoid must have noticed how i looked on her and he told her..... I wish he hadn't i never wanted her to know how i felt... I do care for her deeply but there is nothing i can do about it she is to be married and we can never be together because of that....

Kaddaz was right i am a fool Dezria.... Her beuaty enchanted me and i would have fallen for her had she not done what she did she tried to *Seveal lines score out the next Paragraphs* I can't beleive she did it... She is incapable of Love I wanted to help her but i can't they where all right i should have stayed away... So much like *Name scored out* i didn't even see it. I still have feelings for her and she accused me of just wanting her body... But that is not the truth i wanted her to help her.. to one day even love her but now that is impossible the price would be too high..

I wish Linda was here i could use her guidance so much... She was such a good person so sweet with a steely resolve in to her core. She would have found away to help me I know it.

Shayne's relationship with Nina troubles me greatly.. i saw his behaviour with Cleo and thought that they where together rather than himself and Nina when in fact Nina and Shayne are engaged. Nina asked me why i had thought that Shayne and Cleo are together i told her it was the way they acted around one another that raised my suspicion's she was afraid she would lose him "he doesn't play with me the way he plays with her" she told me.

Later on Lasswen and Nina and myself explored round sanctuary we found a cave that led into a hot area and then we went into the underground passage there water fell from the roof to the ground i stood on it and Nina said it was so much like rain that for the first time i was happy since she left... I have never been to the surface but i know now what rain feels like..

She has sent me a letter it smells of her perfume i should meet her.

We went and visted the temple last night with Verisa... she went crazy and tried to kill herslef she thought that she was saving us... but all she was doing was throwing her life away. I wonder why she did that it was so out of charchter.

She puts on this shallow demeanor but i can see through it i know that she cares for people deeply i think that is her armour and that is why She does it she wants to protect herself from others.

I answered the letter and we*the next part is scored through* Maybe i can help her, maybe i can come to love her fully.

Verisa told me they are planning on reopening the house of light in know that i can be usefull in that endeavour. She spoke to me about Kaddaz and that she distrusts him i told her why i do it's hard to trust a man who has made it clear that he despises you.

Verisa and Dezria then got into an argument... I left them to it i will not be drawn into thier petty squablings. I just wish things where not so difficult but they are.

Sanctuary has come down with some kind of plague... i saw Dezria as it broke out and she threatned to kill me as she was infected... they got her a cure, i think and she left.. After that i locked myself in my room with what supplies that i had and Tried to wait it out but i couldn't. I made a break for it and have fled to the blue mushroom i am not infected and i hope to stay that way.

I saw Gearoid today... we got in a fight he had no right to tell Jallia how i felt, i know he is to marry her but it was none of his buisness she was never meant to know... He didn't understand though said that he had to tell... I hate him for doing it he has destroyed my friendship with Jallia and any chance i had of being friends with me.. He kept saying that he had not betrayed me but he told her without even speaking to me... how is that not a betrayal then he wants us to be friends.... I hope i don't see Jallia in a while, it is too painful i wonder how she can care for such a man.

I miss Linda she was such a good person always someone who i could turn to in trouble... the first time we met i think was when Rissi was drunk she helped put him to bed i knew then that she was a kind and good person.. we became close friends she was like my sister.. i could tell her anything ask her for advice and she would listen and not judge me... But now she is gone and with her and Danni and Najara... and Now Jallia there are fewer people i can turn to with my problems... Kaddaz will kill me if he gets the chance i know that and Jozan is burdend down with the problems with the house.. Maybe i should try talking to May or Nina. Maybe they can help.

The house is reopened.... I am sorry i missed what has happend but i am sure that it was just an oversight on Jozan's part he would remember the oath that i made to shadila wouldn't he.... I told Nina and Merien about my oath and asked Nina to remind Jozan that i must speak with him....

Dungal was attacked and kidnapped, Dezria witnessed it i don't know the exact details but we have been unable to find any trace of him as such i am unsure what has happend to him... Not that i miss him by all accounts he seems to be a bit of an arse but it was strange that he would be attacked in his own estate.

Eowung i have heard is back i must speak with her... The last time we spoke she thretned to kill me the drow did terrible things to her, she never told me what but it was pretty clear she was raped.... I remember the anger in her eyes and the look of hate.. i hope she can understand but at the time she would not even let me explain... Najara spoke to her asked her to try and forgive me... I hope she has, i hope she lets me explain what happend maybe then she can begin to understand.

I spoke with Dezira and she made me the same offer i nearly agreed she found out what i had done tried to use that against me i.*next part is scored through* i will not see her again... maybe that is for the best.

Lasswen is dead we went to the trog caves looking for her body but couldn't find it they must have eaten it... so i killed every trog i could find. The last one even tried to run but i cut him down..

Jozan has asked me to join the lower gaurd so i have moved to the crone and am going to sing up i spoke with Tommy about it and he advised me to speak with Daniel Tane and sign the notice which i willl do... Jozan also advised me to send a letter to Barry Wesh which i will do as well.

I met Barry Wesh and we went on a quest with some others to deal with a problem with Trolls out in the underdark, it was a difficult fight but we prevalied.. Jozan says i should send him a letter in regards to my application for being a footman and if it's a slow process i will but for the moment i am willing to wait...

I spoke for a while with Nina Cleo and some others today and fought a couple of practice sessions in the arena... didn't do too bad either. Cleo is odd i like her but....

We joined the watch expidation to clear out the ruined stairway Nina Cathal Issa and myself, went pretty well, Issa go arrested by Contegio and i believe fined for spell casting we didn't do too badly as a group... well until i discovered the horde of undead beholders behind the building.... i shouldn't have wandered off but we hadn't checked there and i thought that there may be more of the flying beasts but we dealt with them all pretty quickly all and all a good days work.

I have sent Eo a letter i hope that i get a response soon.

No response yet from Eowung i hope she got my letter. Today i didn't do much i had a couple of sparring sessions both with Merien and Shayne both beat me i was suprised at how much shayne has improved.

Fought some more of the flying chosen with ruby the shaft goes down a fair distance she suggested lowring me down on a rope.. ( i think she was joking.... at least i hope she was) it was pretty uneventful. I also met Aleena she seemed nice enough she wears a helmet the whole time apparantly she was scarred in some fire and that is why she does not take it off or talk very much some kind of damage that not even holy healing can fix.

I spoke a great deal with merein some spellgaurd associate called her a strumpet.*Next bit is scored through* I like merien she is beautiful and funny and a good person such a kind soul... I said something stupid to her but she just smiled and said it was okay..Geaoroid saw a letter that thretned the house he passed it to Merien who read it she refused to discuss it with Tarnis which annoyed him.

I like Merien a lot i wonder if we can *next part scored through* If only i where smaller or she was taller.. She said that her polymorph spell was probably a subconcious thing to do with her height i wonder if that is true... She talked about how she feels being small but she isn't so small she makes up for it in so many ways. I spoke to her about najara a little...

It's been a while since i wrote i guess that i have been recovering from what has gone on... Jozan dead and the house has gone... I saw Verisa today and she was just like she used to be made me smile and laugh like i haven't done in Months, not since.... i was with Najara...

I also met Arminas and ornyx both seem nice enough. Arminas myself and this other guy we went and killed some Trogs and i suppose in a small way i got revenge for what happend to Lasswen.. I still miss her. I need to speak with Verisa again i haven't seen Merien either i hope that she is alright.

Today i met sindel we talked for a while, she had a message from Najara, I am happy to here that she is okay and that she is helping people...

Najara told her everything about us about our love and what the drow did to me... Sindel didn't judge me though i found her enticing, she refered to herself as a witch but i think the term enchantress suits her better. We talked for a long while about her past and feelings and about each other then.. (there is a gap in this part as if he was thinking about what to say)

I saw frum as well i wonder if he is still up to his old tricks. I should see if he has got anything worth buying.

I spoke to Nina for a while today and took her and someone who was new to the blue musroom we spoke for a while... I saw Dezria as well but we didn't speak perhaps that was for the best.

I met Cara a follower of Sune.... she seems like a good person we went to the arena and i made a deal with Nina if i won the duel she would wear a dress if i lost then well she would have thought of something i am sure. I won the duel and so Nina bought and wore a dress..... Shayne is a lucky man Nina looked like an angel in the dress it made me tongue tied her beauty and the long flowing blue dress i think Cara was Jealous..

Hmmm Cara kissed my head before she went to bed i wonder....

Worked with Verisa again today we went to the temple of Hoar with Manus and Cara and some others it didn't go well we where able to clear the upperfloors but the lower one drove us back.

Afterwards i spoke for a while with Cara and we kissed.... We then got shouted at by Private Schaffer before we left the rock... (next part is scribbles as if written quickly)

I wonder what i should do now.

10 Days i wonder what the ghost meant and what it wants from me. Sindel did a reading but i found a hard time making it out i have a choice to make i think but what that choice is i don't know. I prayed again to torm for guidance and wonderred what Jozan or Linda would advise me to do.

Ruby has a ship The Great Seeker Captain Ruby Cannonball, i think it suits her and her ship the Deep Iolite. She told me she knew what i had done that Kaddaz had told her. I asked if she hated me but she said that at first she did but then she realised that it wasn't me..... Ruby's like a little sister i still remeber the first time i met her a trouble maker for sure but i knew there was something special about her i guess i was right.

When i first met Ruby it was outside of the lower gates a group had gone looking for the people who had beaten up a paladin Lucas and robbing him... So Jallia myself and Eleina and a few others got involved in sorting it out. When we got to lower (the lift hadn't been built yet) I found Ruby outside unconcious Lucas had beaten her down and i think he wanted to kill her... i helped heal her and we took her to upper where Cail Durris let her go and told the Lucas to stop wasting his time the look on his face was pricless. Ruby impressed me the first time i saw her she stood up for herself even when out numbered and surronded. She was scared for sure but she held her own. I think that was when i knew there was something special about her, brave but with a good sense of humor.

I can only imagine what she is going to get up to know that she has that ship.

A portable catapult i would not have believed it if i had not seen it for myself but there is one on Ruby's boat. I wonder what other modifications that she will make.

Verisa talked about opening a new temple one for Sune i donated some money the plan doesn't seem that bad we talked for a while and she said i was like her big brother, she asked a lot of questions about Ashlee as well i have only met her a few times once i was fairly drunk... it helped to make things fall into place though. I hope she finds someone for herself soon... Sindel did a reading for her she went to medetate on what it said i should speak to her soon find out if she came to any conclusions.

I still remember the first time i met Verisa in Sanctuary she sold me a belt, i was with May at the time she was some haggler but she got her price. I liked her from the first moment i saw her she has a strong will and a beauty that befits a sunite.

Ruby is getting the crew together for her boat i saw her sign someone up and then Sindel voluntered to become a member of her crew, she asked if i would sign up but i told her not until i have some swimming lessons. Both Sindel and Ruby have promised to teach me to swim so hopefully i can soon.

Sindel asked to be taken to Thomas's shop outside of sanctuary i escorted her there and back Thomas was well Thomas i don't think that she bought anything so i think she was just looking at his wares. I.. (The writing stops as if he has been interupted by something)

I spoke to Morwen today i was glad to see that she is still alive, she is a good friend and i gave her that short sword that i found, it was similar to the one that i gave her before that she lost... the one that i was going to give to Najara ( in fact now that i think about it It may have been the same sword they did look very similar...) We tested the sword out on some undead in old dunwarren and it seemed to work well.

One of the undead put a spell on me and i attacked Morwen, she was able to avoid the blow and i apologised afterwards but i still feel a little bad about it. Still all and all it went well.. we made some gold from it as well...

(i just hope she doesn't lose the sword again)

The blue mushroom is gone destroyed in an attack by Lizardmen. I wonder how long Sanctuary can stay safe. Lower is now beseiged almost on a daily basis i think that the rebuilding of the stairs was a bad idea now it's clear that they can no longer hold the gates.

I worked with Morwen and two other elves Thrang and Fylia both seemed like good people and it was pleasent to have a chance to converse with them in thier own tongue, it gave me much needed practice which i think i was sorely lacking. She still has the short sword that i gave her so that is at least something.

Summer is alive i couldn't believe it.. i had to stop and check at first, Sunni told me that she had died that she and Dicho had made a failed attempt to get to the surface. I even lied to Rissi and told him that she had made it. I was so happy to see her.

We talked about old times and i informed her what happend to the House of Light. She is looking forward to seeing Rissi, i told her what happend between him and Sunni. That Sunni was Rissi's father and that he was forced to kill him. She told me that after Dicho fell that she left to wander the underdark for a while... I told her Najara had done the same thing... but they had not run into one another. I showed her where to buy nightshade and we spoke for a good while.

I wonder what kind of trouble she got into while she was gone a subject for another day.

Sindel is dead... murdered by fey on Ruby's ship.... i havent written in a while as i have been trying to get my feelings on the subject together. We burnt Sindels body Ruby Wyric and me... i left not long after to try and get my head together Najara sent her to me to be protected but i failed at that just as i failed to protect the others.

I was angry at Ruby a part of me still is... but she has lost the boat and she did try to cheer me up.. she is a good person i just miss her that's all. We talked for a good long while and i told her what i wanted most in the world... it suprised her but i understand why.

I did a few odd jobs with her... I also worked with some others Kale and Melina... The Druegar have stolen the gold that i put in my bank all of it's gone i will have to make it back.

I spoke with Shania she is new and is working as a waitress in the Rock Bottom the Drow held her as a slave and did things to her i can understand that after what they did to me she seemed nice enough i hope to see her again now if only i can get her to stop saying sir.

*the writing continues after Kyle finds his diary in his pack*

I thought that this book had been destroyed during the Lizardman attack when the rock was raised and spencer himself was killed. I joined in with the sherrif and others to drive them back but it was to late for the rock... I was going to start a new diary now but realise that i have no need of this one is still there.

For the last while i have been moping about with nothing to do.. The Seekers and Ruby where kind enough to take me in when i had no where else to go. Morwen is alive she was not in town during the attack but i fear for Shayne Nina and Verisa no one has seen them did they burn with the rock... i dug through the rubble looking for them but was not succesful in finding them i hope they are alive.

I spoke to Amywing when she was in the Seekers hall it was good to practice my elvish and i enjoyed our conversation i think i confused her when i spoke of Morwen... i shouldn't have spoke to her in riddles.

Bhast has rebuilt on top of the ruins of the rock The Last Stand the place is huge although a tad on the expensive side i have taken up reisidence inside it.

Hmm i should get back to work and find some paying job....

So what else has been happeing i met a Druid by the name of Xiatto who was attacked by a spellguard associate in the mines for being in her animal form.... Parsal i think was his name that was a little crazy it makes me wonder about the kind of men that they are hiring.

I was knocked out by a goblin... Ruby said i was dead and that she brought me back but i don't remember much about it. I woke up in the cave with ruby standing over me... Since then any jewel i find i have been giving to her.. it's the only way i can think to repay her for her kindness i was actually suprised that she came after me.. then again she does have a good heart. (and the ability to smell a gem at fifteen paces... her back was turned how did she do that.....).

Wyric was running for council too. He gave a speech last night and it went well he also bought everyone a drink.. I think i got a little drunk i was a little slow but it cleared up... Ruby said that if it came down to who was giving her gems that i was the winner...

Ruby told me everything what her parents did to her how they allowed her to be..... How can the people who are supposed to protect you allow such things to happen her own Father how could he live with himself, all i know is that i am glad that he is dead and that Ruby is free of him... she ran off got knocked out cold in the mines... Merle and i gave chase and we beat off two large earth elmentals....

My bad rib broke lose and came through from the beating they gave me... i tried to heal it myself but couldn't so Ruby and Fen assisted me.. I shouted at fen i won't let the rib heal right.... it's pain reminds me of what i could have been of what for one moment i was.

My feelings for Ruby are growing but i don't think that she could recipricate them how could she.. what was done to her.. I told her everything.. I know that Kaddaz had told her some but i felt that it was time for her to know the truth and so i did i left out no detail... After telling her she has seemed distant.. I guess being told it from the point of view of the person who did it....

Something i think happend between her and Wyric... is what Merle said true is she in love with him.... If they are then i hope they find happiness if not.....

I need to sleep the wound still hurts and changing the bandage has taken a lot out of me..

Reminds me of a saying "time heals all wounds" maybe but i don't think all of them heal right and some well they heal better than others.

I have healed up now.. so what's been going on. I told Ruby how i felt and she took it as well as can be excpected... she wasn't happy and got angry with me i swear i don't understand her.

Merle is dead at least i think no one is sure what happend and all i can get are half truths and second hand accounts, i wrote to Quinn but i hear he is dead i will try and speak to the watch again soon to see what happend.

I saw Shayne he and Nina are alive and this is a piece of good news as is Verisa. She is still up to her old Tricks... What the hell is wrong with the colour of my armour.. She makes me smile but i wonder sometimes i think that shallowness is an act at other times.... she was right though it was smart to stay out of trouble... Verisa as sherriff... she would make breaking fashion rules a crime i fear.

The sherrif was killed and then a battle took place in Sewer Town lots of people where killed apparantly the seekers where involved i need to see Ruby... I hope she wasn't there.... Please Torm let her be smarter than that we have enemies outside the gate yet all these idiots want to do is Kill each other. I saw one of the posters and had to respond... How can we figh amongst ourselves when there is the possibility of our enemies taking us as slaves.... do these idiots welcome it.

i should speak to Wyric and Ruby.

A rebellion took place in lower those who massacred the watch came up and slaughtered those they could find on the streets of lower with thier cries of for Ubel and Freedom all they did was make us come closer to becoming slaves again.

Ruby and Worn where involved in it and i don't know what to make of it she said they tried to stop the fighting and i believe her but it was too little too late.

Bhast is now Mayor Ivlysar and Bresley lie dead killed by chosen Ruby saw thier bodies so i have no doubt that it was the case, they used the attack on lower as a distraction. I feel that we are all pawns in some larger game, Ruby and Wyric suspect...... Something about a condemned man claiming he was feeding the chosen.

Verisa then tried to get me to shave my beard i trimmed it a little then told her that It magically grew back... i think she believed me.

We attended a speech by Winston in lower he used a lot of pretty words but didn't say anything. They are still going around in circles, A new Watch for Lower new leadership. Wasn't Bill in charge of the lower watch and before that the footman didn't they have a lower council. Hasn't the ideas and Rhetoric that he has spouted already failed.

What's that saying "They who do not learn from past mistakes are doomed to repeat them." that is what is happening in lower now.

A lot has happend the last few days i should write it all down.

What First i spoke a good while with Carmen she is a lower sancturian born and bred. It went quite well although she did not apporve of Verisa.. Her highness is what she called her, i don't know she made me smile. I met her after she had escaped from the drow and found her way back here i gave her a ring as a gift she still has it.

Ruby was still hiding something from me, she took two people to see something but not me turns out it's some kind of group related to the seekers for those who seek the way or Freedom Fighters, I asked why she didn't take me but said i didn't belong that i was a defender... i like that it sounds good.

Verisa has her servent Sandy he is a weird one in fact whenever those two are around each other chaos seems to follow, i think someone tried to lure her to Thomas's in the underdark but that in itself was weird Narr'ghull came with a card to offer her work as a muse i fear it may have been a trap but we could not get through the Auction House to see them so Verisa left in a huff.

Eowung is alive we spoke i was so happy to see her i thought that she had died when the temple was destroyed but she lives we spoke for a while and i was so happy to see her. We talked about the past for a while and i hope that we can speak again i could use her guidance i miss her friendship she is a good person and i know that she cared for Najara... Her anger has diminished she even apologised for what happend in the House of Light that time.

Wyric went on a date with Verisa as well... i tried not to be jealous as i don't think of her... well i tried not to be jealous but i found it difficult i fear that i pestered her a little too much after the date but i was curious, Sandy then tried to sell a pair of undergarments as if it was Verisa the whole thing was.... weird she nearly got in a fight over it claiming that she does not wear Hessain undergarments... her insult was unique what was it... "You look as if you have been dressed by a Blind Monkey*.. i think that was close to what she said.

I wonder what madness is going to happen next.

*This entry has some stains from beer on it*

A lot has happend recently where do i begin. Wyric and Worn both got on to the council i think that we have made a good choice in both of them and i see Wyric going about his duties but only time will tell. There was a big party after the election and i went to it i had a good time and from what i saw Wyric did too.

Ruby has left the city she didn't even say goodbye... i hope she finds the letter i slipped into her back she deserves to get to the surface and to be happy, i wish she could have loved me the way i loved her but i don't think it was meant to be, I kissed her when she told me she was leaving a proper kiss not a peck on the cheek, Wyric saw it... then i watched her go into his room....... Merle was probably right i think Ruby loves him or did before she left.

I spoke to a woman Taarna last night she seemed a little odd espically her accent but she was nice enough, then i spent the rest of the night talking to Issa she seemed to be okay i am glad she is alive, they have made her Senchanel of Barak-Tor which means that she is in charge of decoration... perhaps she should speak to Verisa, Wyric wants to see her too.. there is something funny about the decoration of his office i advised speaking to Verisa but he was not happy with that.

I think that since Ruby has gone i have spent most of my time drinking i know i should get up and do something but i just can't seem to focus.. i miss her so much. She left me just like Najara did and Merien.... *scored through* nah.. can't be

Merle is alive i finally found her body in the Mausoleum and was able with the help of Morwen and Oryx to raise her.. her memory was gone at first but it came back quickly. She ate what sandy..... No i can't even write it. How i stopped myself from being sick is a miracle. I spoke for a while with Kaddaz and Verisa we caught up on old times i think Kaddaz and I finally put things behind her then i insulted Verisa she deserved it but i did apologise.

What else.. Verisa and Wyric are to marry i wish them both the best of luck with that but i am a little Jealous. Not of them but of their relationship they have each other and i don't have anyone.. Verisa asked me to give her away? I am not sure exactly what that means but i am sure that it's important that and i will be able to play a part in the wedding makes me happy. I spoke with Wyric for a while about a good many things i think he and I see Eye to Eye on this he will take good care of Verisa and he makes her happy so that is all that matters.

Merle got herself arrested by the watch in lower.. (i didn't think they could do that) she had attacked some druegar who had tried to take her as a slave when she defended a Kobold, Carmen overheard some of what they said.. the watch made her pay a fine at least i think they did i should talk to her about what happend. After that Verisa made me have dinner with Herself Wyric.. and they roped Oryx in to be my date it seemed to go okay i told them that i had known Oryx for a while and she had helped me to bring merle back she seemed happy but we had to buy Oryx an outfit to have dinner, Verisa did not approve of Armour at her table.

Lets see what else has been going on in sanctuary. I had a good talk with Morwen she said that i was the one constant in her life we talked about relationships. Cleo turned up soon after that she told me that she had been raised with the Drow as a... How do i describe it as a slave keeper almost, i asked a lot of questions about her history and past but i didn't get any straight answers then she kissed me.... she ran off soon after that.. was that her trying to distract me..

Verisa's Sister Clara has turned up in sanctuary we first met outside of town hall. All i did was comment on how they look alike and have a similar shape that set Verisa off she pulled a sword on me and threatned me... She was very overprotective i stomed off after it. Later she apologised i told her i understood.. i am still mad at her though what did she think i was going to do. Clara seems nice enough but she is not Verisa.

I have promised to give Clara some lessons in combat show her some techniques i have learned i hope she is a good study but i am sure she will do fine.

Clara's Friend Illiana i can't place it but i don't trust her.. she reminds me of Teredrift and for some Reason Dezria, they way she moves and acts. She was prentending to the whole bar last night that she and i where intrested in each other while she threatned me to stay away from Clara. I don't know i get a bad feeling about her and i have told this to Wyric and Verisa hopefully they will keep an eye on both her and Clara.

I warned illiana though if she hurts Clara or Verisa that she will answer to me... she acted all playful and tried to make me intrested i am sure, but i don't fall for the same tricks twice.

Ruby found her way back to sanctuary after such a long time i was so happy to see her, She was disguised at first apparently the spellgaurd are after all the seekers for the Murder of Bhast a funny situation since they had just as much motive for the attack after Bhast stabbed them all in the back...

We talked for a long while i even kissed her, i was just so happy to see her i told her about wyric but she didn't take that well how was i to know that Wyric had never told her about his engagement to Verisa. He should have said something the look when i told her the confusion i never meant to hurt Ruby but she had a right to know the truth. The talk focused mainly on that after i brought it up it was as if she couldn't accept it.

After that i ran into Clara again and i took her to the arena she isn't to bad with a sword but has some way to go her form and her poise are too rigid and she does not attack aggressively enough but that can be worked on it is important if she is going to survive down here.

We spoke for a while and she told me that Wyric had pushed her that he had pestered her for Details of Verisa's "other Suitors" the nerve if he had any strength he would ask Verisa himself. I used to have a high opinion of Wyric but now... I don't know what to think if Clara has told me the truth his actions are base why is he Jealous he has Verisa know she agreed to marry him. I hope he has enough sense to realise that if he pushes on Clara he may lose Verisa...

Ruby has put up a poster talking about.... i think she has gone again that they have all left the seekers. Well done guys you where supposed to lead all of Sanctuary out instead you have just looked after you own interests and Ruby she never even bothered to leave me a letter...

I need a drink.... why is the ale always gone when i need it.

*on this page a copy of the poster is inserted*

[quote:9f390fa614=""] To the people of Sanctuary,

There are many enemies roaming outside the gates of your Sanctuary. Keep your heads high and fight with all your strength to protect this place.

But also keep weary of the more dangerous enemies, the ones that lurk with in the walls of sanctuary. The people in high places who will corrupt you.

Fight against the oppression and corruption - if you can't experience true freedom on the surface then at least experience free life in the dark.

As long as someone Seeks freedom and desires a free life - The Seekers will alway exsist.

Never give up!

Fight for freedom!

The Seekers will never forget the ones who wish to Esacpe the Undedark - we will fight for you, even from the sun kissed surface!

The Great Cannonball Ruby, Seeker and ex-captain of the Deep Iolite.

I came out of my room for the first time in days i have spent most of my time in there drinking. I spoke with Sol for a good long while she seems nice enough and i love that red hair and green dress, we talked for a while and then she sang and played an instrument her song was beautiful and sad but i found her enticing.

Two hin Sarah and rap where misbehaving as well.. it's obvious they are in love you don't behave like that if you are not especially the way they sat next to.. or on top of each other.... Although the kick between the legs was a little much i wonder if Rap is okay i think he was still on the ground when i left.

The elections are being held now i wonder who is going to get back in.. maybe Wyric. I have spent a lot of time talking to Sol over the past couple of days, i told her about Teredrift and Kaddaz she took that well, then we spoke of her past. The drow captured her and her family they ran into another patrol and the ones that had taken her, killed her family everyone even her twin sister.. She thinks that her brother got away.

I found out why she shivers so much she fell into an icy lake as a child and it was her brother who saved her she has had the cough ever since she sang a song for me, to think of when i am ever low thinking of what i did

"Find it in yourself look deep inside. Each time you forgave the others for their trespasses, each time you bestowed the gift of mercy, each time you fought for what you thought was right, each time you gave the gift of life, each time you healed the wounded, each time you loved, remember how those felt about you.

Buried somewhere in your heart, the forgiveness you seek, is within your inner self, waiting patiently for you there."

I spoke to Laura too she is looking good i didn't know that she was a Hoarian and a member of the lower temple she seems nice enough and i have seen the posters around town that she is selling stuff. I wonder what else has been going on.

I wonder if sol wrote that song for me?

So what has been happening i helped Sol and a group out of a bit of trouble, met Rose a warrior of Torm she seemed nice enough and had more weapons than perheaps even me...

Sol thanked me for my help and we went back to the rock where she decided to play me a song.

Verisa came back i was with Sol and she was singing a song when Clara came over to join us i gave her a seat and then Verisa came down the stairs she proclaimed that she had just been at a two week Hair appointment.....(i wonder what in the hells she was really doing) she then made a sending for Wyric to come meet her... we talked for a while about Sol and me training Clara.... She kept taking the wrong meaning out of everything i said i swear i think that she was looking for a fight.

Wyric turned up with the new Councillor Elizabeth Durfoid i think.. I didn't recognise her at first, then again the last time i saw her she was running about the Last Stand Inn naked after being beat up by an elf (she is the one the posters talk about being and enchantress and trying to raise an army of the dead).. She was all over Wyric.. kept calling her Dear... Verisa Took Wyric to her Audiance Chambers... Well Clara kicked up hell and started calling people names i must admit i did have a little bit of fun too but that Arse Rak started moaning about respecting the council...(i wonder if he respected Victoria Colvin somehow i doubt it) and how much he had gave up in defense of Sanctuary he then had that big half orc kick us out...

On the Street Sol talked about going back in and i managed to talk her out of beating the shit out of Rak (it would have been funny but they guy only has one leg) Then Clara talked about storming the place.... I held her back when Verisa came out she was in a foul mood... she pulled out her weapons and adavnced towards me as i tried to speak to wyric.. Sol told her that i was only trying to keep her from harm. That seemed to calm her down then i spoke to Wyric as Verisa went to talk to Elizabeth in her council chambers. I warned him about the rumors regarding her but he seemed unfounded.. he said that he didn't believe he was under mind contorl and for the most part that seemed to be the case certainly he complained a lot about Verisa...

When he went back to the offices a man came out and told us what happend he said that he saw her ask to raise the army and suggested that we contact a woman called Friday at the beacon.. Verisa came back at that point and said that he was tainted but that didn't mean he was not telling the trugh. At that time she sensed no taint from Elizabeth.. she said that it went well enough but she suspects she may hire an assasin to kill her in ten days time.... She saw Elizabeth and this time she said she could detect her taint.. perhaps it's true and she is blocking it.

Verisa and Clara went to bed and sol and i went to my room we spoke of Dez and Phyrra as i said to Wyric Elisabeth's actions reminded me of them.... also of Clara's Friend Illiana.. i fear the women needs watched with a close eye.

I forgot i had this it's been a while since i wrote in it so what has been going on...

I spoke for a good while with Morwen and we have become even closers friends she is cold to me sometimes but we have come to an arrangement i told her a little about Dez and what she told me back about what she was doing in lower.. I don't doubt it was true but it made me feel sorry for her.

Clara's training progresses well i didn't find out if she fought in the tournament but her skill with the blade has improved greatly and i was most impressed she nearly beat me... I just pray that Verisa doesn't catch her wearing some of those outfits they barely cover her up.

Speaking of that i met a girl named Heidi and we have become friends the first time we spoke i was with Sol and for some reason we got onto her Tribes Customs for reproduction which involved a large stick and hitting people over the heads... i duelled with her the other night... that was interesting i haven't lost that quickly since i went up against Majre and i think heidi beat me even faster than she did... that and she distracted me by fighting in little but a loincloth... it's an interesting techique but i fear perhaps too dangerous.

Afterwards i went and had a bath when i met the Hin Leah she was full of fun and we had a good talk it was good to relax my wounds and rest my bruised body even if it is for a while.

Let see what else Elizabeth is dead killed by the Hoarain Dilandau i heard from sol she was trying to raise an undead armies.. They have installed tolls in lower and new dunwarren although Wyric has assured me that they are going to be gotten rid off..

I made a friend in the Elf named Valen he is brooding would be the word i think but still i find him to be a great warrior and not to bad to have a chat with i think we wound up talking about drow the first time we met then after that about Alyssara who blamed herself for the death of a child they had tried to save i tried to reassure him i hope Alyssara is still okay she was fine the last time we spoke but that was before that happend.

Sol and i have grown closer too she has suffered greatly at the hands of the drow and after dealing with the undead at the temple of Hoar we spoke for a long time in the bath.. I know that she thinks her brother is alive that she believes he got away when the drow slaughtred them after taking them as slaves.. she spoke of her sister Briony how she forgave her every time she hit the others, how she healed her... and how she cried out for her as Sol escaped she didn't look back and she can still here the screams. I hope i can help her the way Jozan and Linda helped me maybe i can get her to forgive herself.

I have to try she loves me... and i will i know it, i saw verisa briefly as well she came to the bath house while i was there with Sol she said we made a "cute couple" i hope her and Wyric work things out he makes her happy and she deserves that.

Sandra Marie is alive too i missed her and thought that she was dead she has sent me some letters and i should do what she says i just hope that she is not dead.. if she is then i will speak to Cyrus and see if can carry out her last wish. Maybe i can get her song book published.

I shall contact the library about this as well as her works should be for public display... The nancies threatned her without cause i hope she is alive i don't want to have to mourn any more friends.

Verisa is now able to use the weave and can cast spells how this has happend i don't know i asked her about it and all i got was half answers, her and clara jumped about and made each other laugh and giggle (that was good to hear, i wonder if that was what it was like when they where kids) her familiar Sweetpea on the other hand just worries me he is a mephit whom.. well like all familiars they seem to take a dislike to me. I swear if it does a Koli i will drown it. Apprantly he convinced Verisa to summon him as he was a "Pixie" and she believed him i have warned her to be careful as you can never trust those things and i hope that she is.

I bought Sol an axe of the cleric Leah Seline but it turns out that she had just bought a halberd herself, at least i managed to give clara her potions but now i have a Rapier on me that i don't want.. I should put it up for sale i think. Someone will buy it of that i am sure.

I am back it's been a while since i wrote.. Sol is gone or at least missing what is left of her things are covered in dust in her room so i have packed them away. Verisa and Wyric are still alive and i am glad Wyric is still on the council out of most of the people down here he is the only politician that i trust. Verisa was talking about getting the gang back together and here me and Merle got a group together to go clear the temple of Hoar again but we got driven back by the numbers in the lower part again there are just too many of them.

Morwen is now a Sentinel a group she helped form, i look at her and her friends in armour they guard the paths around sanctuary but i think that it's elfs only. I never understood her need for that it's as if she thinks that as a human i am inferior that i should "find one of my own kind" She knows how i feel i told her that a long time ago outside on the hill a top sanctuary... Together we freed a lizardman who goblins where holding captive and managed to retrieve a drow shipment of weaponry that had been captured by the lizardfolk and left there I got a new bow and gave my old one back to Morwen, hopefully someone else can get as much use out of it as i did. My new bow works really well i am sure that i can put it too good use. As for her and me who knows only time will tell. Norin is alive too that's some good news as well it gives me some hope for some others.

Verisa wants to reform the old group i wonder if it can be done?

I have contacted the library and had a response now i will do what she wanted and have it put in the library that way her songs will not be forgotten. I think Sandra Marie would be happy with this. It was what she wanted. Clara was very upset last night she says that in lower she was accused of being well... a... some people have no taste or manners she was so angry the first outfit she said was racy i haven't seen it but no outfit deserves such a thing to be said.. I held her as she told me how angry she got and how it happened a second time how she had to hold herself back.

I will help her work on her anger she needs to learn to control it otherwise it will destroy her as it nearly destroyed me..... i will speak to her later and then we can begin.

So what has happend i have had Sandra Marie's diary published in the sacntuary library, Wyric and i have spokent about the gortto and my suspicions, Illithid brain wine.....

I met a woman calld Sophia Van Durin, never have i met such an unpleasent and thourghly spiteful woman she seems to have tried to sink her claws onto Wyric as a Malar Beast would do with it's prey. I tried to be helpful and friendly with her tried to make her adjustment to life down here as helpful as possible and she has spat in my face, She is under the delusion that i was stalking her that i made her feel unsafe... what a complete pile of crap she is stuck up and spoilt and not in a good way i have never wished ill on anyone but on her i wouldn't even cross the street to pee on her if she was on fire in lower. I don't see her lasting long down here with such an attitude she will make too many enemies regardless of her attentions on Wyric.

I have sent Wyric a letter so that we may speak on this and i will then contact Verisa depending on the outcome. I trust Wyric to keep his word but i do not trust the word of that stuck up little brat. I told Norin to watch out for her and if possible give her a verbal slap.

She could bloody well use it.

It's been an interesting couple of days to say the least so what has been going on. I spoke to Wyric about Sophia and why she doesn't like me apparently it's got something to do with me trying to kiss her hand when we first met. Some people i told him to tell her to stay away from me. We talked about a few other things too mind.

One of them was the attack on Agnes, she is a nice girl but what that was about i don't know she was attacked outside of town hall by a were creature, i didn't see it that time as i arrived to late but the Hoarian Dilandau and Sgt Blackbeard chased it off, we followed it into the upper ruins near the machine but it disappeared. Agnes went to the bath house in the inn after we couldn't find it and i stood watch. I allowed myself to be distracted though and she was nearly killed when it came at her i managed to drive it off i think though it did steal something from her pack and i think that is what it wanted. She was alright though i did manage to stop her from drowning.

Why would it want a cookbook especially one with recipes for elves that just seems a little odd to me, i don't know enough of the puzzle to work that one out though i do know that Agnes said she found it on a dead man so that might explain what happened to him, Wyric i hope will keep his ear to the ground about this.

I told him also about the posters for the grotto about the party they where holding and my suspicion lets get every current/former councilor the heads of the watch and spellgaurd in one place for a party? Sounded more like an assassination attempt to me he seemed unconcerned though but maybe i am just paranoid.

I spoke to Nyia as well she has joined the temple of the Red Skulls we spoke of my past and why i don't believe that this place is hell, I wish she would keep her helmet off more she has such a pretty face she talked about my soul and how she felt it was pure that i was a good person i know Sol used to say the same things and Clara has said the same recently. Nyia i worry about the problems with the red skulls at the moment she could wind up in the middle of them and i would hate for her to have anything happen to her, i just have this feeling..... I will say a prayer for her that will make her happy.

That reminds me Clara made me try on a new outfit it was good though i don't think Cytrine is really my colour. She promised to make another outfit for me and i can't wait to see it she is such a good person and i care for her a lot too and some of the dresses she has made have been stunning things of beauty she may even give Ghail a run for his money.

Actually that is something that has been on my mind for a long time Ghail sells the most expensive clothes yet his shop is in lower sanctuary not a place known for any kind of wealth or prosperity, so the two things i wonder is why he hasn't been robbed down there and second who in lower is buying his clothes so he can keep his shop going. Questions for another time i think i still have the mystery of Agnes's book.

I was asked to join the grey cloaks it was a little surprising but pleasant however it appeared no one mentioned the problem that i have with the gate in new dunwarren i don't know what it is but it seems to take a dislike to me i thanked him for the offer and told him that i would come see him when i am ready.

I wound up watching Verisa and Wyric implode they fought and then she handed back the ring.... i think Allivurn had a lot to do with it i spoke with her afterwards, i hope she was just angry they made each other happy or i think they did. I spoke with Allivurn who knows that i care for Clara they wanted to marry her off to the new owner of the Last Stand he must have saw my reaction written on my face. Afterwards i spoke with Wyirc about what was happening apparently someone again tried to Assassinate him but failed (as a councillor i imagine though this is fairly common) Anyhow he awaits an apology from Verisa which i hope is forthcoming, he seemed upset that she didn't seem to care.

I need to speak with Clara soon..

My head hurts, how much did i drink last night. It was a lot, Verisa new about me and Clara i don't know how but instead of killing me she seemed all for it, it started when Clara talked about her new sword she wanted to practice with me So i said yes... She beat me (although i didn't use my shield and she was wearing no armour the outfit she wore was indescribable but she looked great) After she beat me we went to the bath to relax Verisa decided to annoy the Supervisor in there by slapping the back of his head while Clara and i talked, during it i had the suspicion that she knew but she confirmed it then said that we had her blessing.

After Clara and i got washed i tried to arrange a meal for her in the inn Cookie whipped up something quick and i got wine, it was a disaster Clara got drunk and talked about traditions and making announcements i wasn't sure what she mean and i tried to make a joke about drow Traditions she didn't find it funny.. it went from bad to worse as she became upset and started to cry i felt awful... i wanted it to be perfect for her but it wasn't Verisa took her to bed then told me i shouldn't have kept plying her wine and she didn't know when to stop... After that i think i went to the clench and got drunk... i woke up in a room in the last stand (not mine) i think i spoke with wyric when drunk but it's fuzzy..

Why is everything so hard.

A lot has been happening Verisa and her uncle continue to move on the agenda of house fireheart. The other night in the Temple of Hoar i got nearly killed by a Doom Knight he beat up myself Verisa and a group of others, Verisa fell first and i went in to get her we managed to get her out when he beat me down and held me captive then she came back in to face him, she didn't stand a chance he beat her so easy after that i spent most of my time trying to shield her with my body, Gaesric showed up to fight him and was able to slay the doom knight but it was a terrifying experience after that even Wyric and Druss showed up i know they broke thier own laws to come get me and no matter what happens i will make it up to them.

The Red Skulls are gone they Temple was in worship to Cyric and most if not all of the cultists had been deceived i have not been able to find Nyia and i fear for the worse i don't think that she believed in them i am sure she wasy spying for someone but i don't know where to leave a letter for her or if she is still alive most said all of the cultists died. Druss himself died during the attack i will miss him and i never did get to pay him back for what he did in lower that makes me sad.

Why does Verisa keep insisiting on dragging me back to the temple i went with a group consistiong of Connar and we got so far before falling back, she keeps insisiting in going into the lower levels and the other night i died because of this she had a scroll to bring me back. I don't want to be scared but i am all that happens down there is wrong i think we should leave the temple to the hoarians i don't mind helping but it's up to them to get thier own house in order. There are enough problems to deal with...

Clara got her first customers i can not believe what that Agent said about her though Ellie needs a little slap maybe i should speak with Chelene about her when i get the chance.

Verisa, Clara, Connar, Myself and others entered the old Red Skull temple to deal with the threats that are in there, i found it a hard experience as i had to destroy the undead corpsed of Esmerelda and Thelonious i was glad Nyia's was not among them but that just raises questions as to what happend to her, I hope the others in there have found some kind of peace.

Elia continues to have goes at Clara and in fact that is the reason the her cloak was destroyed, since she has been harresing her i decided turn about was fair play so first i saw her talking to some begger child giving him a message to deliver in lower. I told the kid that if he didnt' do it i would pay him double, then told him that if he wansn't careful she would eat him as that is what they did. I felt kind of bad for the kid who ran off crying that he would never come to upper again. (I just hope they don't believe all spellgaurd agents eat children i did say just elia)

Kin was arrested by Elia for trying to be her friend we all decided that she had abused her powers, that included Sunnelier, Myself Alita Blake and her Husband. After a bit of tit for tat she decided to threaten to arrest me i left her at that and when kin was done spoke to him he seem to think that she is lonely and her heart wants company (personally i think they should take her into the tower and surgically remove that rod from her ass) i warned him to stay away and she was then up on the gates when we left to patrol the mines she threatned to arrest him again until i led him off. We did a patrol and then headed back when we went into upper there was a troll ( i have been around enough Wizards to know that they can do that so i guessed it was Elia but i didn't want to take any chances) So i shouted a warning a group of dwarves and a half orc myself and kin gave chase and around upper we went until she was cornerecd outside the last stand, Alyssaria showed up and told us that it was Elia and at that point she dismissed her spell i found the thing funny i guess she didn't. I tried to call it quits but i don't think that she will have it.

It's been a while since i wrote, i have been so busy i haven't got round to it so what has been happening. Elia is dead i know that much Kin told me that she and Agent Petrov attacked him and that it was in self defense i tried to push him on it but he was not having it. Petrov himself i learned attended one of the Prymio competitions i learned this from Serendipity as she was there as well.

Kin continues to trouble me Alyssara opened him up but there was no implant inside the act itself seems to have spawned some memories a girl called Eleanea and his village when Connar removed the stitches and sealed the wound he remember the village and the people burning, he blames himself or it all. I don't think he remembers enough to make that judgement and have tried to help him to guide his as Jozan, Linda, Danni and the others did for me i hope i am doing the right thing, The diary i gave him like Linda gave me something to write his thoughts in i know that it helps, i owe him as he saved Clara in the mines... she told me that herself. He has put back on the sentinel uniform good he can use it to make his life worth something, As i told him you can use the past to do some good turn the negative into a positive or you can let it eat you away.

I met Monica, Shirila and Briel all of them seemed nice enough i took Shirila and Briel about the city showing them odd jobs and places from the beetle farm to the lower ward. Monica i took through the sewers and out into the underdark i showed her around the underpart of the city and the junkyard, the curio shop she seemed so grateful for the tour. It was the most fun i can think i have had in a long time, this morning i showed her the mage shop in the residential district.

Morwen seems infatuated with Merin i feel a little jealous but she knows how i feel about her i think that i may have been making things awkward around Merin but that is not my intent i just want Morwen to be happy... like she made me our friendship is strong and i want it to remain that way i still have feelings for her but i will bury them as far as i can.

I spoke to councilor Chavel he asked me to see about Cathy in lower he seemed odd paranoid i spoke to Wyric about him and he found the request as odd as i did i will still see what i can dig up and it appears the performer Karlston Brass knows something about her so i need to speak to him about this as well, she appears to be wanting a rebellion and the council overthrown.. Upper leaves lower to itself and it tries to destroy upper i wonder what the correct course of action is are we all doomed to destroy each other down here... if i am to do this i need to speak to Clara i don't want to put her in danger.

I finally met Somniis she is a good woman there appears to be a drow in lower i will have to speak to Wyric about that, she appears to be some kind of Exile but she could easily be a spy of some sorts. Somniis knew who i was so i suppose that Kin has told her about me that or Morwen has been talking.

I need to see Clara too i don't know where Verisa and her have buried themselves but i am carrying a bag full of dyes and i have a gift for her a cloak i bought off her uncle a thing that will suit her i have wrapped it in a box i can't wait to see her face when she opens it. Also i should get the gold back from Verisa, i keep forgetting about that.... I need to see Clara smile again

I gave Clara a cloak and a ring and now we are to be wed it was not my intent on giving her the ring but she took it that way and I was too shocked to say anything now however I do look forward to being her husband, she keeps talking about wedding traditions a Dowry (whatever that is) and is trying to probably hire half a sanctuary to perform some function at the wedding (page boy leb, how does that work since he is a man). I tell her I love her but I need to find a book on Cromyr wedding traditions so that I can work out what I am supposed to do; the book store does not carry anything so I guess I shall have to search elsewhere. On the night of the announcement the Temple of Ascension was bombed I and several others struggled to save the people in there and put out the fire we saved the temple and many of the people inside though Tandra has slipped further into madness and Seeker Jamie no longer smiles her face scarred by the fire. Then the temple of Hoar was bombed there was something odd going on in lower, the Drow who walked the streets was executed by the scholar for being responsible after that the bombings stopped... I should have killed her when Monica asked me too that would have stopped all of the pain and suffering.

Monica continues to try and get in the spellgaurd I sent a letter to Chelene stating her quality and worth I hope that it helps her to get into the spellgaurd she is honest and the organisation could use someone like her.

Morwen and I spoke for a while I spoke of my feelings for her then she said something that made me angry that what the drow made me do that I enjoyed it...I never told her the full story and I lost my temper and stormed out I should tell her everything and I will when I get the chance, when I got her citizen stone I thought she was dead so I drank to block out the pain of the loss after I couldn't retrieve her body from the badlands (turns out Allivurn had it and she was out cold) I was happy to see that she is alive and I hope we can have a long talk soon. At the moment though she thinks something has happened to the sentinels something about a Drow Raid I don't know the details but from the look on her face I can say it's safe to assume all did not go well. I will start from the beginning and tell her everything.

Verisa caused a fight nearly to break out in the streets of upper with the group of mercenaries that live in the crone she slapped Clara though I missed this and then an argument broke out Gurien who is an arse and thinks he is funny I imagine (last night he called me beardy if that is the best insult he can muster he would be best just to give up) tried to hit on Clara one thing went to the other then we nearly started a street brawl, the watch sorted it then Felicia told Swift that Verisa had slapped Clara, Verisa was then arrested after she fled from the watch she tried to hand herself into Blackbeard but he refused and so she ran. She gave herself up in the watch house but then Lorthar beat her down I swear I nearly killed him where he stood for that, she was unarmed he is a right piece of filth and will get his in the end. She tried to kill herself in the work yard but we managed to stop her then last night she was acting strangely one of the jokes where she talks about doing something but isn't serious, she wanted to go beat up the crone with Clara, I put my foot down and stopped it. She worries me sometimes she is clearheaded my friend in everyway a woman of honour then other times it's as if she is mad it's like she is two people.

I need to find a book on Cromyr Traditions.. I wonder if such a thing can be found down here.

I told Morwen everything about me what I did the lot she seemed to take it well even commenting that what I did to the bitch was "A sweet revenge for an edan" she didn't understand I asked her had I done to her what I had done to others would she forgive me but she never answered. She told me about why she came to the underdark looking for her Brother and she found them, I know what the drow usually do to elves.... I felt so sorry for her then she told me... *the next part is scored through*

Clara and I progress well and I can't wait until the wedding I spoke to Monica and I think that she has a crush on Wyric I need to see if I can set something in motion in regards to that they both deserve to be happy.

I spoke to Myria she seemed so troubled by everything she described her time in captivity in strange terms "secure" it's not a word that I would use to describe my time among the drow we talked for a while and I think I reassured her, she is very pretty and she shouldn't be so sad... *next part is scored through* I hope what I have done will help her she seemed like she needed someone to support her.

I worked with Morwen and I wound up knocked out she even remarked that she turned round wondering where I was and then noticed that she was stepping on my head. We talked for a while afterwards even headed into the temple of Hoar afterwards I went with her to the beacon there we talked for a while..... I still love her I know that. It doesn't mean my feelings are any less for Clara though.

I spoke with Jaliah McNaig and helped her out to get her full plate she reminds me of Linda a warrior of Tyr she is. Seems like a good sort her brother died defending the Beacon and I went into the history of the place and what happened between Linda and the rest the troubles and the people who died in lower during the riots and how Linda fell like her brother defending the House of Light. I hope she spent the money on something good a nice new set of full plate her banded mail fell apart in the haunted temple.

I met Myria again and she was worried about Toman and Seeker Lysk apparently they are standing trial she worried about them not getting a fair trial and I reassured her as best she could I told her about Wyric and how he will do what is right and best for sanctuary we hugged as I tried to get through to her that she is not alone I think she wants to be a seeker as such I will tell her what I know about Ivylsar and Ruby... I told her that I think Toman is letting his anger consume him she thinks she can reach him I hope that she is right everyone down here deserves a second chance.

Clara stood me up at the altar... she said she couldn't not with out Verisa there.. it happened during the execution of Aurin for attacking the upper gates Myria was right he did only get himself killed for all his talk all his posturing the threats against Allivarn and in the end all i could feel was sorry for him he looked so pathetic as he had his neck broken, Myria didn't take it well at all i tried to get her to take the body and get it buried as i told Lucius to do, then i went to get married that is when she walked out on me and left me there. I got angry and took it out Aylana blaming her unfairly for what happened then i went to the temple of tyr to pray to torm for guidance i spent the night there......

When i woke up i took a walk about and wound up in a party dealing with things with Morwen i tried to explain to her what happened and how i felt but that didn't work she just didn't seem to understand me saying that i should go marry Clara... i told Morwen how i felt about her again my feelings for her have never changed she just never reciprocated i regret that more than anything that she couldn't love me the way that i loved her. I hope she understands what i have said it won't be long now though i write this after getting my head stomped on by some dwarf looking up at the statue of Torm i might take a walk out into the underdark.... maybe this time not come back.

I hope Allivarn's scar clears up and now that Aurin is dead and no longer causing trouble maybe things can go back to normal now. Lucius i have spoken to he is a good man and i think that he will be able to solve a lot of problems if given half a chance. Monica made spellgaurd agent but she seems to have changed she came across different but i can still see some of the old her in there when she smiled it's good to know that maybe what ever they did in the tests maybe i can bring the old Monica back.

I saw Morwen and Kin (now Alsatder together) They seemed so happy and all it felt to me was like a knife stabbed in me... Allivarn is sure verisa is dead some stupid sign from waukeen, I tried to explain how i felt but Morwen doesn't listen, Clara..... she attacked me the news over Verisa's death she tried to kill me. I didn't even fight back, had Connor not stopped her i think i wouldn't be standing... Maybe he shouldn't have shown up. I know now for sure that the gods have cursed me i have nothing left. Jozan and Linda no longer speak to me when i pray and for the first time the gates at the temple of new dunwarren didn't burn me as i walked through after Clara tried to kill me. I am not sure if i should be happy about that or just sit there and cry.

I sent a letter to morwen i will give her this book and then i think i will take my long walk.

I stuck around maybe I shouldn't have and I have now relocated myself to staying in the Crone. The Tyrant of a Sheriff launched an Assault that the council was in the process of approving on the canal ward, there was several explosions I was in upper when the locked the gates with Drin who had got turned into a statue. They marched through the temple of Tyr I can't but help and think that it was convenient timing. I have heard both sides of the explosions at the time I was told that it was caused by the spellgaurd now I am not so sure. Doesn't make much difference they shouldn't have gone down.

I took my place in the barricades of lower alongside Myria and Toman... even Winston. I waited for an attack to defend the people it never came though they stopped in the canal. Afterwards I got into a disagreement with Wyric alongside Drin. Agent Miller who is now demoted (I can't help but laugh at that) went to inspect the lift as Drin and I wanted to destroy it, later on Deepingdale (now on the council honestly where do they find the Arseholes who run and I can't imagine who is voting for them) forced entry into the temple myself and Drin fought back. Had he not been with his gnome friend and the two privates who attacked everyone we would have stopped him. Miller shows up and arrests me doesn't matter I have seen the inside of a cell before. I have been dealing with this through correspondence. If Wyric, Cheval, and Donrick had any decency they would all resign.

Lucius has asked me to help lower I will need to speak it over with Clara as it wouldn't be fair for me to jump and do something without her permission. Spoke to Kate for a while too I helped her at the funeral of William Daniel Pearson I hope she get over her death as she is a good person though the dress Cyrus makes her wear is indecent to say the least she has the figure for it though, turns out Sev is working for the crone too who would have thought of that I will need to catch up with her if Alastader will leave her alone poor girl she lost someone close and she is dealing with it he needs to learn not everyone is me.

Ingrid and Aylana showed up as I was talking to Kate, Ingrid wanted to know about Ruby I told her what I thought would help but she was looking for Technically information about the Canals so I pointed her Wyrics way who knows he may be able to help her. Monica showed up too a little wary as she was in lower turns out her and Miller got demoted at the same time over an incident where she had no choice but to fall back sounds as if the good Agent (not sure what is lower) is paranoid to me. Monica and I then left Port Lothar (they might as well call it port arse) and went and fought a duel in upper I only just beat her she is very good.

I worked some more with Morwen and Alstader I don't mean to get jealous but I still have the same feelings... he is a good person I know that he will take care of her. The mage Khazil he is quite powerful too and Melie the elf Druid helped us out again in the temple of Hoar.

Sometimes things go from bad to worse... i spoke to Sev again and we got to talking then one thing led to another we went into the basement of the crone *next part scored through* I enjoyed it though.

Allivarn sprang the wedding on us everything got together so quickly and I was impressed with the turn out, as Connar began the wedding some thug grabbed a kid he wore a vest filled with Alchemists Fire, Mille, Morwen, Wyric, Allivarn, Ingrid, Alyssara, even Jania who tried to seduce me in lower they where all there as things went from bad to worse... Allysara cast a spell that failed then, Ingrid and the others started taking potions, Jania I think turned herself invisible. I stepped in front of Clara to protect her and then I think Morwen casted a spell that's what brought in the Mage Eaters, things went from bad to worse as Allivarn fought them, the thug blew himself up killing himself the kid wounding all of us, Allivarn was near death and Jania she died. Even Clara didn't want her dead it turns out that she was blackmailing her.

After that things got fuzzy a whole bunch of watch and agents showed up including Agent Miller who arrested Connar, he is right though Miller is a complete buffoon how he ever got his rank back i don't know.

Nelas came to me after and gave me and Clara our wedding gifts I passed them onto her it was a good thought though I wish we had gone through with the thing.

Clara and I spoke to Kate in lower too looking for "A good Card" turns out that he is the same card who offered to kill Aurin for me I explained things to Clara and Kate was to keep an eye out for us turns out it wasn't necessary but there you go. I was upset though the way she spoke at Kate... I told her so and I hope that she watches this.

Things have gotten a little strange the man who attacked Taarna got caught by me and Miller when he tried to free one of his associates. It was a strange situation but he found himself surrounded and then arrested by Agent Miller. The other man he tied to the gate of New Dunwarren and it was awful to hear him scream as he got burned the gates however did not kill him and a watchman did that. Rabbit and Kaylee where beside themselves at the horror of this and Agent Miller was almost celebrating when he was struck down by the Triad’s might to see such a man brought low refreshes my faith in the gods and I hope he meets his end soon. Monica is missing the watch had reports that Miller had beaten her in the tower. I found this out from Allysara and Illis the former has fled the tower in fear for her life after she survived an assassination attempt from Agent Opalshore. I spoke to Myria and we have arranged something for her safety I left the details between them but I hope that it is worthwhile. As for Miller I suspect his involvement in the death of Monica. Kaylee was distraught after the execution and I took her back to the inn with Clara’s help.

Speaking of Myria she has offered me a job teaching at the beacon I am happy with this and can’t wait to help teach the children of lower how to read. Finally something in can do that doesn’t involve me just hitting things.

Lower brings me onto the trouble with the assassin Card I know that now the watch have all the information that they need hopefully they will be able to make an arrest or at least stop him from what he is up too he has sent several letters to Clara, one about me cheating (probably cause he saw myself and Myria chatting) the other was some kind of threat I never saw either of them and leave them to her to deal with as she seems a little obsessed by this.

Allivarn tried to launch a take over bid of the lower auction house and while I think it was ambitious it was very foolish he put himself and Clara in trouble as they went down with armed men. Apparently they got fruit thrown at them and then the bugbear enforcer did something the account I got off of Clara isn’t clear as she lost control and saw red, I need to find out what happened. The beacon and Winston know a little too and are understandably upset Allivarn needs to learn not to over reach. He should have worked slower. I have spoken to Myria to try and smooth things over and will speak to Allivarn to tell him how I feel and what I think he should have done. My idea would be renovate it using lower workman clean up the market place then higher lowers to guard and protect the place move very slowly and help with the trade situation.

I spoke with William he told me what the slavers did to him they… (The next part is unreadable) I know it was wrong but I couldn’t tell him what they made me do I hope that he can understand when I do and hopefully the book I gave him will allow him to banish his daemons like it did with Alastader. Afterward I helped Somniis up the stairs we spoke briefly and I offered my assistance in any way I can I will speak to her later I hope she seems like such a good person and I hope her time hasn’t damaged her inside as much as it seems to outside.

Edgar has shown up and everything has gone to hell i have not slept in days, i have been running about the city doing what ever i could.

I should start from the beginning. Allivarn had been threatned by Captain Thorn the same one who was after Ingrid, she demanded money and he refused. Her little men including plop have been running a terrorist campaign against the city and then... They kidnapped Clara and Edgar, the killed Ingrid too when they captured them and they where going to sell them into slavery if a ransom was not paid. He didn't pay though and i spent my time trying to find out what was going on.

Ingrid left me a letter to deliver to Lothor and after reading it and making several copies i did so, Kenning, Macasta all of it Rothe Shit. Big bad captain thorn is a lost little girl crying out for her daddy's attention it would even be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. I spoke to Morwen and asked for her help to get Clara back and she offered it when she found me i was in some state, i still have feelings for her and she got to see the part of me that i bury deep and hide away. Sev offered to help too more about her later.

I got Kaylee and took the Hoarian Dilandau and went out to mur there we ran into Thorn and her woman Plop, plus a fat man. Clara gave away my identity and they knew who i was.. i had hoped that she would have stayed silent but that wasn't to be, We headed back to the city taking the boat route i have heard enough about the Macasta bitch and her little hin too know that we couldn't trust them to attack us after all she had threatened me to be sold into slavery.

Back in town i was trying to drum up support to go out there i could not afford the bounties but plop attacked Allivarn in the Inn and then the bitch stole his body Dakul got a hit in apparently nearly killed the bitch she then ran out of the city or escaped somehow Carl and myself got a group to go after them and headed out to mur it was then that i leanred about Jach and his role in all of this he was working for thorn.

Out at mur the Macasta bitch let Clara and Edgar go maybe because of what we asked or maybe because she was scared the drugar came out and threatned us but i think he was scared too. Worried about what we a bunch of slaves would do to them it also gave time for Macasta and her people to get away, we got Clara back to town. I spoke to Myria she told me about Jach how he and her had been working to try and save Clara and how he had tried to stop them being sold into slavery. She gave me the best advice stay away from Thorn and stay with Clara.

I then got in a fight with Edgar he is head strong and going after Plop and Macasta he doesn't understand that this will only cause further grief and put more people into danger. I then got in an argument with Toman he grates at me a lot he calls me a malcontent yet he is the one who ran away from the city he is the one who abandoned us just like Ruby did..... Dawn she.. i there is something about her.

Sev is happy though i met her outside she is in love with Merebith she told me how, merebith doesn't like to share i can accept that i care for Sev she is a good friend and we have had some fun together so there is nothing wrong with remaining good friends with her.

I need to speak to Morwen as soon as i can and give her the bad and good news.

I told Kyros the truth about his nephew after he took them in for checking for Implants (they where held by Macasta not Illithids) I said to him that his nephew was a dick. Only the truth though as he is but he didn't take it so well. He cast some spell that caused me to be turned into a statue i didn't appreciate that much but there was not much i could do, Barkley turned me back i think as Clara and Edgar came out, worst part is they don't believe me but it did happen. I will speak to Wyric if anything it was an abuse of power.

Sev is dead, Merebith and her both died raiding a drow caravan i am sure that they will be happy together Sev was so happy the last time i saw her. I can't help but feel sad it's like a part of me died... we only *next part scored through* I saw such a change in her from the depressed leave me alone i hate the world person she became after Eindra's death to the warm happy woman who i respected. I know the gods will make sev happy and she will find some final rest and peace. I wonder in the end if she understood how i felt for her. I hope she did, friends are hard to come by down here. I will speak with Torm say some prayers for her and i just hope that she can hear them and know how i felt.

Edgar is in charge of the house. Clara keeps calling him My Lord, not if i have anything to say about it. He has a big enough head already and i will never call anyone master ever again that i can promise. I told William to just call him edgar too. i need to speak with Taarna and see to it that she does the same. Clara mumbled something about Cromyr Tradition, she needs to remember from time to time she is no longer in Cromyr.

Well things have gone from bad to worse Drin, Dawn myself and Elf and the Hin Frem went to lower and sorted out the temple of hoar, there was big trouble inside (not that it's not it' always teeming with undead) Some man tearing and killing undead like nothing on earth. I have written a report to the beacon and to the Firehearts. Once again the seekers have proven themselves to be useless. Toman is just a whining *scored through*, it would be funny if it wasn't so damn pathetic.

I really messed things up with the family, Edgar and I. We are at each others throats i don't understand why we don't get along but all we seem to do is fight with one another. I wish Allivarn was still around at least that way i didn't have to deal with this crap. What's worse is that i know that i am hurting Clara, i really don't want to i wish i could stop it. I have to try and watch my temper there is just something about Edgar though he gets under my skin.

I had a dream about her.... i wonder what it meant.

Toman fought me in the arena he won, with Rindlegauns help and the wands so Dawn got what she wants he won and he lives.

Edgar and i have tried to put the family back together and it seems to have worked well for that i am glad. Dawn told him about what happend between me and Myria. He asked me if i had been with dawn and i told him the truth though, Dawn and i have never been together the truth is that Myria died a long time ago only now do i see that.

She has quit as head of the Beacon i don't blame her she was never about. I am doing what i can to keep the place running but there are so few members of staff and i doubt that there are many healers among them, i try and clean the place though at least once a day and offer people a bowl of stew and a warm bed to sleep i have advertised for help and i need to speak to Winston. I still hate him Linda should be the one in charge and he stole her from me, but his men and him protect the place i can't fault them for that.

Edgar's girlfriend Angelica seems nice she is honest and strong not to mention Beautiful she brings out the best in him and i am happy for it though she keeps calling me Tubby, i have started to call her Thunder Thighs, this annoyed Edgar and Clara no end so i am not going to do it again in public.

I posted a couple of reports one in the beacon about the strange figure Drin and i encountered in the temple of Hoar the other i gave to the firehearts nothing seems to have come from them though.

I managed to keep William in the household at least i feel that i have accomplished something. And i need to get Bootsie and start his reading lessons, He makes me smile he is so kind.

I really screwed everything up; it’s been a while since I wrote anything here so I guess it’s time to start. Morwen told Clara everything she left no detail out she said about herself and how I felt about, Myria and about Sev, later on Edgar confronted me and I told him everything too I left the city and got ready to die. Hells I even messed that up I got jumped by monsters outside the city and I was nearly dead when Morwen found me. She was there; I think I saw Najara too. I don’t remember everything is so fuzzy I had lost a lot of blood. I woke up in a cave cold and alone. Angelica found me there and took me back to the city, it was then that I found out about Clara how she had run off she asked William to go with her, I just feel so alone without her. Nothing at all at the moment makes much sense. I did love her, but the wedding dragged out and out. I tried hard not to but I did cheat. It was only when she had been kidnapped by Thorn that I learnt how much I loved her I wanted to be her husband so much but now… There isn’t much chance at that is there.

Bootsie then told me that Edgar was dead, I was still injured and I had stopped eating I was letting myself waste away after that I started eating again someone needed to protect him, I was told that the Monzetti’s took his head in the streets of lower. Then I find out from Angelica that he is resurrected and looking for blood from me he feels that Clara leaving is my fault (which it is) and that by taking my head she will come back? I don’t get the logic in that but there is not much I can do, Angelica warned me to stay out of upper and I have been as best I can. But with the way things have been going that has not been easy.

I met Senestia she is very beautiful a true Sunite and I have talked to her about my past and my previous relationships I was in the middle of doing so when the Monzeeti’s announced their attack on the shrine of ascension. I tried to stop her from going but I saw the resolve in her eyes so I went with her, there were a lot of us the Horian, I, the Seeker’s including Myria, Senestia and Angelica we did what we could but the shine had already been massacred as we had gotten down. We chased them through the temple but we couldn’t find any. Later I chased the one called Throm into the sewers with the Horian close in pursuit we forced him back, I was injured however and had to fall back but a goblin jumped on me from behind, next thing I knew I awoke in the temple above. The goblin had slit my throat and then robbed from me though Throm was killed. I got myself together and headed down to rest as I was injured. Turns out that was a mistake.

The details of what happened next I am not sure about, the Monzeet’s came back and started killing people from what I can gather Angelica went with others to confront them and now she is dead as well they killed her for opposing them. I should have been there to help but I wasn’t. She did her duty to Torm though I know that and I have never been proud more proud to call her my sister. (I will talk more about her later it’s still painful now) I got ready to move myself out of the beacon, with the monzetti’s back I did not want to draw their fire near the children so I have moved myself into staying in the canal ward and the Siren it’s safe as Edgar and as far as I know the Monzett’s don’t go there. Before I left lower though I found out that they had Killed Myria. That alone makes me almost collapse I can’t believe that she is dead too. I seem to be drifting at the moment from one tragedy to the other. I need to speak to Senstia she will I hope understand. She makes me smile and at the moment I need that more than anything.

I told Senestia how i felt what a mistake that turned out to be everything was going so well i had the picnic set up and i told her that i cared for her, she said that she didn't feel the same way, i felt so crushed i think i had another break down, i don't remember much of what happened after i walked off except we got interupted by an elf and a couple of dwarves. She even said she thanked Sune that i loved her, i doubt that is going to help. Her and Nyia are building a temple to Sune in upper i hope that i can be of help. Senestia she seems so distant sometime and i wonder if she is pushing me away.... i'll just have to wait and see.