I Jozan Silas, cleric of Torm from the shrine of Baldur's Gate have failed. I was entrusted to return our lady Idrial to the shrine after her disappearance. I left with my brother Balian who had taken the path of the paladin, to track her down and ensure her safe return. We found her captive of a Drow raiding party near the city of Waterdeep. We where fools to try the rescue. Balian fell fighting the beasts and i was captured. Along with many other slaves we where taken deep into the underdark to a hidden town. There we where tortured and worked day and night for our new masters. Upon the night of our one hundred and twenty firsts day the leader of the Drow commanded me to choose ten of our fellow slaves to die. My lady Idrial commanded me to include her in the group so that we might spare one of the others death at the hands of the Drow. I could not choose. How could I. But the choice was clear, choose or we all die. And so Idrial and nine others blood is on my hands. With the ten dead the remaining slaves where dragged to the towns limits and cast into the underdark to fend for themselves. I have lost track of them and now wander alone in this dark place hoping that Torm will give me guidance and that my sins will not destroy me.

For days i have wandered the dark passages of this terrible place with only my faith to keep my course true. I had lost all hope of seeing good and kind places again when i emerged into a vast and expansive cavern, where i saw it. A town standing where no town should be and with human guards. Quickly i made my way to the gates and entered this bastion of hope in the darkness. The town of Sanctuary. At last a glimmer of hope and a chance to redeem my soul and my sins. Torm grant me the wisdom to aid this place and the strenght to defend its cause. I have found meaning and reason to go on. This place shall be my home, and i shall do what i can to spread Torm's word to its people and in doing so perhap i can do my small part in helping this place and its people to grow and perhaps one day return home to the surface and my brothers at the temple.

This is a strange place indeed. People's of all the races living in a kind of harmony seldom seen on the surface world. I have met several strange and interesting people since i have arrived within the walls of this place. Perhaps i will be at peace here and be forgiven my sins.

I have had a strange dream on this my second day within this city. I have seen my brother Balian who i feared had fallen. He speaks to me saying he lives still but i fear this is my mind playing tricks on me letting me see what i wish to be true. I do wish he where here with me, i could no dout use his skill with the blade in the coming weeks as i find my way around this place.

These past days i have walked round the Dark lake alone in a bid to try and understand what it is that Torm wishes for me to do in this place. There is no shortage of good and noble people in this town and those belonging to the house of light seem amoung the best of them. Still i wander seeking answers. On the third day of my self impossed exile a torn peice of cloth was washed upon the shore near to where i had camped. The cloth contained a ring, but not any ring. The signet ring of my brother, Balian that i feared dead at the hands of those Drow that drought me to this place. The cloth is unblooded and the ring carefully rapped. This gives me hope for Balian's safety and that he has returned to Baldur's Gate and informed the high priest of Idrial's and my fate. This good news is a welcome break in the darkness of this place. May Torm watch over you dear brother.

I have returned to the city and found much to be differant. New market stalls in lower and the miners have been busy reconstructing there holdings. But the greatest change of all is in my friend Kyle. A man who i have fought with many times and fights with a passion that i have seldom seen is reduced to a shadow of his former self. He speaks of being killed and being sent back but knows not why this has happened. Perhaps i read to much into such things but i believe that the gods have some purpose for this man and i will do all i can to help him find this purpose. But alas this will have to wait for his heart is filled with a great sadness as his love, the lady Najara having feared him dead had moved on with her life and this has deeply wounded him. But i have faith in Kyle's strenght. In time he will recover and find what it is that the gods have set out for him, and i will stand with him giving all the aid that is in my power to give.

It is strange how much can happen over such a short period of time when you sit back and look at it. I have been back only a few short days and much has changed. Kyle's depression grows deeper but in time he will find the strenght to pull through but as yet seems content to wallow in his own self pity. It is hard to see such a fine warrior reduced to such but he will soon find his courage and strenght again.

Good news it would seem is running about the city as a fire sweeps through a parched field. At first i have heard that the man named Miquel that gave Lord Kaddaz such trouble, is now a wanted man on a charge of attempted assasination of a council member. But perhaps best of all, Kaddaz, my good friend is to be married. At long last he has come to terms with his life and all that has happened and can now move on and be happy. I have offered the happy couple my prayers and look forward to the wedding day with a glad heart. I only hope my other friends will find a touch of the happiness i saw in the eyes of Kaddaz and his future wife.

Indeed happiness does seem to be spreading through this place. I have met an elven priestess named May Nightwind, and she may well be the fairest creature i have ever set eyes upon. It turns out she knows my good friend Kaddaz and we spoke for some time of the city and its people and other things.

My happiness cannot be contained. I have fallen for May's beuty and charm and have confessed this to her. I told her of my brother and how i found his ring upon the shores of the dark lake and she has reinforced my hope that Balian is indeed alive and well on the surface. I have asked May to marry me and although we have but only met a short time ago i confess i will never love another as i do her. To my eternal joy she has agreed to my proposal and seems as happy as i am. As token of my love for her i have given her Balians ring, and i am sure that where he here my brother would understand. We walk the streets together and spoke with some of May's many friends telling them of the good news and although my heart is filled with joy i feel sorrow also for we met Kyle who although happy for us is still troubled. How i wish i could help him to find himself again. To get back his life and move on with a new path, to discover is destiny.

I have learned a new skill this past day that may prove useful not only as it may provide me with a small income but as it will allow me to help those who i would wish to protect but am not always able to. Torm has seen fit to allow me to brew potions from his blessings and as such allow me to provide others with them when I or another of the faithful is unavailable to accompany them on any of the dangerous tasks that thay may undertake. Although it pains me to say it will have to sell many of these potions as their production is of course not free, for i must still purchase some raw materials but those whom i call friend and those in greatest need will recieve them for no cost for Torm tells us that to aid others is the best a person can do and so shall I do in his name.

Today is a happy day and does me good in this dark place. I have discussed the wedding with May and we have begun making the preperations. I have also met with Chell at the house of light and been welcomed as an acolyte so that i may do Torm's will and help the people of this town in what ever fashion i can.

May Torm and the triad continue to smile on us and guide our path.

The world seems at once both bright and yet shadowy this day. May and myself have been wed and have celebraited with our dear friends but the events of the night have cast a shadow over the happiness of this day. The Drow have issued a demand of gold or a number of slaves and five brave soul's have left our city to keep those of us left behind safe from a Drow attack. Among the men was a good friend. Shan was a good man and he will be missed. I pray Torm will keep him safe and in time return him to us.

My life has been blessed, for May is both kind and beutiful and i thank Torm each day for her and to keep her safe from all harm. For my part i have asked Kaddaz to instruct me in the use of the sword so that i might better protect my darling wife if ever i need to. I have no dout that it will be a great challange but Kaddaz is a great warrior and with his help perhaps i will be able to use the weapon my brother so raved about.

My friend Kyle has come to me asking if i can help him to find his path to redemption. While his past is dark his sorrow and guilt at what he had done make me believe that there is good in him and with time we will push aside all his past sin and cleanse his soul of his past sins. To this end i have begun teachin Kyle the knights path that my brother walked before he became a paladin and in doing so I hope that Kyle will learn to control his guilt and anger to find peace within his own heart.

The path will be long and there will be many dangers but he will prevail and in time may become a great and noble servent of the gods. Until then we will continue our lessons and pray to the gods that his sins be forgiven.

This day brings news that is troubling. Chell, the man who welcomed me into the house of light has left with his wife and wandered into the darkness where we cannot follow. While I would wish to help them, i will respect their wishes and allow them to seek the answers thay are looking for. May Torm protect them and bring them safely back to us, and grant those of us left behind the strenght and wisdom to carry on as thay would have us do.

The situation grows more grave as time progresses. Kaddaz, my good friend has had an attempt made on his life. He spoke of a man with red skin that tricked him into an ambuse with tales of his wife and Kyle. I feared this would happen, for the troubles between Kyle and Kaddaz have now become a matter of some public knowledge and it seems this dark assasin was using this as a means to get to and kill Kaddaz. There is something else behind all of this, some faceless evil that sets itself against the house and those who would wish to aid it's mission. This may just be the beginning. As more attacks happen and threats against the house and its people become more frequent we must be more and more on guard. With Chell gone I will turn to lady Eowung for advise. She is both wise and knowledgable and will know what to do. May the gods be with us these dark days and return our wandering friends to us safely.

Way do the innocent suffer. Why do all around me suffer and feel pain when of all of them it is me that should suffer. I have done terrible things in life yet one of the kindest and most good hearted of people i have met down here suffer at the hands of a dark warrior. The halfling Merle that it is my eternal honour to call a good friend has been held by a dark lord of Bane. A man calling himself Innus. This dark fiend took Merle and used her great friendship with Kaddaz to lure him to a trap. And it seems this dark warrior is the same that tryed to kill our paladin friend not a few days before. The beast tortured the poor girl and forced her to tell him all he wanted to hear. Thank the gods Kaddaz was able to save her from that monsters grasp and bring her to safety, but alas was unable to kill it. Still it stalks our city, no dout watching for its next chance to attack. Merle's strenght and heart is great for although badly hurt and terribly frightened she has picked herself up and begun to forge on with her life. Much heart can be taken from her example and I abmit if Kyle could show such strenght and control over his emotions he would be further on in his path but still, he progresses steedily and that is all that can be asked of him. My young Kohai is strong willed but still his emotions rule him. He must learn to control these if he is to do what he must to absolve his past sins and let go of what he did.

This day is filled with sadness and grief for all who knew the lady Shadila, the brave and wise wife of Chell. Her passing brings great sadness to the hearts of many, and our prayers are with Chell as he struggles in this time of grief. She was a wise and noble woman and although i only knew her for a short amount of time I am sure, no positive that she has taken her place with the gods and awaits her husband on the otherside for the day he will rejoin her. So much suffering exists down here and the darkness seems that much greater now, but those of us left behind should remember her as she was and take strenght from her example in life and remember that she will always be with us. And all willing when our own end comes we are judged fit to once again see her on the otherside with the gods.

Kaddaz suffers from a great pain this day. His beloved wife Jirala has left him with little or no reason given. His suffering turned inwards and he seemed to lose all caring for his own life for he spoke as though it mattered not when i asked him to wait while trying to heal his wounds as we fought of undead with Najara and the others. This total lack of caring has frightened Merle who cares deeply for Kaddaz but there was little we could do for him. Melly seemed to understand his pain but her anger roseand she ordered him to the arena to fight her, where Kaddaz spoke poorly to Merle distressing the poor girl greatly. But thank the gods what ever Melly said to him seemed to work for gone is his suicidal anger and replaced with what i can only feel is deep lose for Jirala and the life thay should have shared. Kaddaz asked me to speak with Merle for him and of course i did so. Merle's grief at what has happened led her to drink and i am remiss that i had to raise a hand to her to calm her down. She has suffered greatly in her short life and the pain it seems was too much for her. I had always thought seeing them together that Merle cared very deeply for Kaddaz and her state when i found her has only reinforced that. We spoke at lenght of many matters and she has managed to get me to speak of what happend with the Drow and Idrial for the first time since that day. She says she understands and having seen her scares and what that Banite scum did to her i fear that she does. Merle's heart is good and true dispite all the hardship she has clearly suffered and this gives me hope that perhaps I too can learn as she has to move beyond the pain of the past and look to the future. She has also told me that May would understand if i told her what i have done, but i cant. We are building a new life together down here and my past will only cause her pain. Better that she not know what i have doon and that i continue to do all i can in serving Torm in hopes that he will deem me worthy of absolution and save my soul from the hells. Merle is a good friend and i am thankful for that and that she will do all she can to help Kaddaz in his time of need as i will try also. Alas the day was long and the poor girl fell asleep by my side in the house of light. I took her to a room in the rock bottom for she needs to rest safely and the rock is as safe as anyplace these days. But she muttered in her sleep as i placed the covers over her. She called me brother and if that is what she would wish to think me as then i will be there for her as that. May Trom watch over her and Kaddaz and let them find peace from that which torments them.

The past days have given me much to think on. Kaddaz for his part seems to be coping better with his lose and at last part of that man i first met on walking into this town has returned. Of course it will take him time to fully recover if he ever can but at least he has returned to his old self in many ways and that is something to be thankful for. I have been foolish and as a result maybe i should take my own advise more often. I said somethings to some people that i should not have and suggested things that i know not to be true. That aside i am going to do that which i keep telling Kyle. Control of one's emotions and impulses gives us focus and allows us to better see the path the gods have given us to follow. With all this in mind i will go back out into the city and continue the work that i have until recently been doing. On a happier note Torm has granted me the use of the forth circle of devine powers. May his wisdom and strenght allow me to use this gift to do his will and the good that it is that i am to do with it.

This day i have seen much that makes my heart lift and see once more the good in many of the people within this city. Kaddaz has done away with his blackened armour and now seems a little happier and even agreed to continue my leasons in the use of a sword which i must say with a little pride seem to have paid off for i managed to defeat my old friend in a sparing match. I have also seen the lady Danni looking much happier than i have seen her in some time. It is good to see her as such for she is a kind and good hearted woman and a fine servent of Torm who deserves better than to suffer in silance. I have also seen Najara, Gabi and Eleina to my suprise on what can only be thought of as a night of girlish fun. Which is almost odd to think of as Eleina is normally so focused on her duty. But maybe this will be good for her and the others. It is always good to unwhined after a long day with somefriends. The city just seems that much more peaceful these days. And long may that continue for in that peace maybe May and I can find sometime to simply be together for it always seems that we are doing something that either keeps us apart or has us fighting side by side.

I have been remiss. I have failed to mention my old friend Snorri whom i have run into these past days. I havnt seen that crazy dwarf for some weeks and his joking ways i have missed. He is not only a good friend but a fine person to have around you should things turn sour. I can only hope his reappearance is not a chance encounter and that i will continue to see more of him. He knew Thorigan, the Dwarvish warrior that May cared so much for and holds him in similar reverance to my beloved wife. I wish i had, had the chance to meet this brave and mighty warrior for from what Snorri and May have told me he seems like a fine fellow. Perhaps in time he will I hope find me worthy of May if he does not already for it seems he cared deeply for her even to the point of looking upon her as his own daughter. I have had an idea but must speak with May on it before i become too rapped up in it. But all going well maybe it will be one more support that May and I can use to keep our bond strong when we are apart.

There is so much happening these days that i have failed to make note of it here but now that i have time i can at last try and give all this some persepective. Kaddaz told me that Danni was in the throws of some great depression and longed for death and it seems that my hope that she could move beyond this terrible thought was missplaced for Merle has told me that Danni has fallen. She was a good, kind and caring younf woman and a fine servent of Torm. Her last words to me will stay with me forever with her passing. She told me to leave the house of light and to fufill the work that Torm would have me do not to act as a nursemaid but to aid those who seek to put an end to evil. The riots in lower have made the situation more uncertain, for i know not if any other members of the house still live nor if the building itself is intact or in what shape much of lower is. With all that has been said of late it may be a great risk to venture down to that part of the city even had the stairway not been in ruins. I will take time to think on this and Danni's words and hope that Torm grants me the wisdom to find the right path from here. On a happier note Merle has asked me to help her by teaching her of the gods and how to help and aid the suffering of those in need as Danni did in life. Merle's courage and heart continue to amaze me and I will do all i can to help her for she is more like a younger sister to me now than just a friend. Kyle has returned to the city from his absence and was present at the wedding of Galing and Meldor. His return is good news as perhaps now he is better equipt to deal with his feelings and to find his path though i must admit a level of anger towards him for he has spoken with May of his past even though he knows full well that to recall what has happened is to ignore all we worked on together. I will forgive him in time but for now perhaps it best if i gave him time to think on what he has done and must do. My good friend Frubo is gone. Slain and moved on to the next world to be with the god he served in life. He will be greatly missed and was a good friend and all my prayers go with him for his journey to the next world. My mind has drifted as always to my darling May. I have not seen her since the riots and i fear for her safety, i pray she was not in lower during those terrible events and is safe and well in upper hopefully in our room at the Rock Bottom. Torm watch over her and bring us together once more.

With all Danni said to me, the riots in lower and many other things that have happened I have been thinking about what could be done to help this city within the teachings of Torm that would allow me to continue to do what i have been doing to help this city but also to seek out and put an end to the evils of the world to be found in this place. Perhaps the idea that Danni said Chell had been thinking of would be the best for his wisdom far exceeded my own and his last conversation with me was to ask me to step up and help lead the house forward as best i could. Chell had spoken of an order of knights but perhaps that would not be entirely be what is needed. More like the house and organization seeking to aid the city but on a more proactive manner by seeking out evil and corruption with the city and putting an end to it. Much as was the way of the temple i grew up in back in Baldur's Gate. Of course i will need help to make such a thing possible but there are a great many good people in this city who may wish to do just that. Perhaps even to go as far as to use my old homes methods to an extent but with a wider view not simply that of Torm but that which can include all those who are of good heart and can aid in the endless fight against evil. My old masters words come to me now as i right this. His wisdom was a guiding light in my youth and perhaps that which he taught me can be of use now. He always said that in serving each other we become free. Down here the thought of freedom is ever present in the minds of many and maybe if this idea can be made to work we can work to make that dream a reality in some small way.

Merle went into lower this day and has made it back alive thank the gods. She spoke of armed men walking the streets and of the strangness of the place has now it is so quiet. There where men within the house it seems who had taken it over following the riot and from what i have heard thay where all killed and now thankfully Azreal is in lower at the house and with any luck he can find Linda and any other survivors and help them stay safe. It seems the Tigereyes and the local thieves guild turned on each other buring the riot and from what has been said the Tigereyes where all but destroyed leaving little law and order in the lower city at the moment. We must hope that order is restored and perhaps this is the time to have the Tigereyes replaced for of late thay have been nothing more than causing the troubles in the lower city. There where those amoung them whom where doudtless not involved but this presents an opertunity to make something of gap thay have left. May the gods grant those who serve on the council the wisdom to do what must be done and heal the wounds of our city and once again reunite upper and lower.

Linda is gone. She was slain in the house from what i have heard trying to retake it from a bang of thugs. May the triad watch over her soul and grant her a place by Tyr's side as her actions in life have justified. Her belongings have come to me after Merle was given them by Eleina. I will take Linda's shield as a reminder of all she did for me and what she fought for. The rest i will pass on to warriors and people of good heart as Linda would have wanted. Gods be with you sister, and may we all learn from your example.

Najara has left the city to find her own path and all my prayers go with her. She was a good friend and i hope that one day fate either brings her back to us or that we find eachother on the surface world when my work here is complete. Her leaving has hit Kyle hard and i was forced to take his ale from him for he has gone into a drunken hollow of self pity. There is little that can be said to him to make him see reason in such a situation but to try and remind him of what it was that Najara would have him do.

With Linda dead and Azreal in lower and for all i know dead as well I do not know how many of the members of the house still live. I begin to fear i am the only one left. When the city os brought under control and access to lower restored i will bury Linda's citizen stone within the house so that in some small way she will always be with us. If I am all that remains then it is my duty to rebuild the house and to make it stronger. May the gods give me the strenght to do what must be done and to safeguard any of the others who may yet be alive.

This day has been strange to say the least but by no means unproductive. I still carry many of Linda's things and Eleina has passed more to me she had forgotten she had. Merle and I travelled with Bodoc and Drasha as well as a few others to some jobs and for the most part we have been sucessful. Merle is a fine warrior and continues to impress me with her courage as does Bodoc. Drasha stood by my side as we fought an undead hoard and once more proved herself a noble and brave warrior. It seems to be a common thing for the smaller folk to be brave and that is more than a comforting thought in these times when courage will be needed. I have heard nothing new of members of the house and now i do fear i am all that is left. If that is the case i will do what i must to continue the work the house stood for but perhaps it is time for some change. To make the house stronger and move it into a new dawn.

I nearly lost Merle. We where facing an undead threat with Jallia and Bodoc with the aid of some others from the city when the beasts over whelmed us and the larger one of their number struck Merle down. We where forced back into the safety of the ruins where thankfully Kaddaz was able to kill the beast giving me time to retrieve Merle's body. I carried my little sister back to town in the hopes that the priesthood could raise her back to life. I prayed to Torm for her as i carried her, i cannot have lost another friend. My prayers where answered it seems for Merle has returned to us and from what she has said she saw Danni on the otherside who sent her back to us. Danni heard my prayers and watches over Merle and has given us a great gift in sending her back to us. My own hatred for the vile undead has grown and that towards the evil magic that creates them and i will focus all i can on seeing them destroyed wherever thay arise. Torm grant me the strenght to avenge what thay did to Merle and the wisdom to be a good servent in hopes that Danni's appreance before Merle is proof that in some small way i am on the road to my own redemption.

I am not the only one. This day i have meet up with Arthan and Kara and my heart is relieved to see them alive and well having made it up from lower. Gods be praised that these two have survived the madness of lower and found there way safely to us in upper. I spoke with Arthan concerning the meeting that the Seeker Kor’us Corcael was hoping to arrange after i spoke with him concerning the house and what it could do to help his hopes to restore order to lower. I have told Arthan i will attend this meeting but will take his advise and find two others to come with me in the event that something goes wrong during it. Perhaps if the plan works out as Kor’us hopes I can begin to rebuild the house with Arthan and Kara's help and once again make it strong. As Chell told me before he died, now is the time for me to step up and help move the house forwards into a new era. One of greater strenght and resolve to help the town and its people.

It is strange how the slightest thing can give us new perspective on our world. I have sent the last few days out at the bluemushroom with a vile sickness not wishing to infect my darling May or any of my companions. But as i made my way back i encountered a strange sight. The way to lower is reopened. The lift constructed by counciler Bhast once again links our towns two parts and i have set foot in lower for the first time since the disaster that severed it. The situation is grave but seems almost peaceful for now. I spoke with the men who seem to be calling the house home and healed their wounds before making my way back to upper. Perhaps this is the start of something. For so long i thought the council where content to let lower rot but this gesture by Bhast has given new hope to lower and perhaps when i meet with Arthan this night to discuss the way forward for the House of light we can find some more ways to improve things. Amoung things i will speak with Arthan about rebuilding the house in terms of numbers. May has spoken of joining and if i can find him i will ask Snorri to join us. Perhaps even if i can in time i will bring them both to the meeting i have asked Arthan for. What ever happens we have hope now that things have at last started to turn towards a brighter future.

It is stange how your life gains prespective as you see the path those you call friend unfold. My friend Fyrian and his darling wife to be Alia have asked me to perform the service for their wedding and I am truelly honoured. Thay are both people of good heart and will make a fine couple. It is good too see them so much in love and it reminds me each day of the love I share with my darling May. I continue to progress in my studies of Torm's word and feel i am finally being allowed to put the actions of my past behind me and so moving on to what i can only hope to be a bright future. Each day i meet new folk whom are of good heart and virtues ideal, and with that spreads the hope that the stain on this city following the attacks in lower will soon be lifted. I am yet to meet with Arthan but he is doudtless being kept busy in his own duties as i am in mine. May has spoken with me of the children staying at the Archibald estate and a scheme for adopting them. It would seem my wife would have us take on one of the children and I cannot agree more. If we can give a child a safe and loving family in the midst of all that has happened then we should but it is quite an undertaking and May will need to think on the matter to see if it is what would be best for not only us but for the child as well. I have some gold saved at the bank and should May decide to adopt a child then I can inquire as to perhaps purchasing a house for our new family. After all it hardly seems right and ask a child to call an inn their home. All this and more fills my mind but there is little that can shake the happiness i feel at this time for Fyrian and Alia. May the gods keep them and make their love evergreen.

Its almost strange how people can change over such a short period of time. While in the inn the other night i over heard an arguement involving Jallia, Kaddaz and Jon over comments passed by Jon in regards to Paladins and their attitude's. Having not been present for much of it, it was not my place to involve myself but the matter seems to be rather heated and somewhat unlike Jon to use such words as Whore when speaking of Jallia. Kyle was involved in this also and seemed only to be fanning the flames of the disagreement. I know his mind is else where following Najara's leaving but I had thought him wise enought to understand that such actions make the situation only worse and while the same could be said of Kaddaz i can understand his position as the slur goes against him also. While his words where unforgivable, the manner in which some would doudtless deal with it is worse still. If i can i will speak with Jon but i doudt he will be inclined to listen as i saw a notice he had put up remaking the same point that Kaddaz had responded to and while I agree with what my old friend had written i would not wish to see anyone harmed over this matter. Just when the darkness of this place seemed that little bit less overbearing this has cast a shadow over it once more. I can only hope that the situation resolves itself and no blood is spilled as a result of a few rash words.

I have found time hard to come by these past days and while i am sorry i have been unable to find it to spend with those i care for i must remember that I have matters i must attend to. My friends will i hope forgive my lack of apperance but I must abmit my planning and inner thinking on a great many matters has kept me very busy. I have been trying to figure out what is the best way for the House of Light to proceed and while I have many a great and bold idea I fear many are simply not practical so must continue the think on this matter. I have heard many an interesting and disturbing tale as i walked the streets late at night while many sleep and I hope many are simply tall tales. I hear that Jon has fallen and Arthan too and while I hope nothing has happened to them i do fear that Jon's fate was sealed. Still one can only go on and hope that all will be as it should be and if thay have indeed moved on that thay have found peace and know no more pain nor fear.

I must finally do as Chell had asked of me and step up and take the house forward. I do not know as yet if Arthan lives but regardless I must go on and do what I can to keep it alive. The men that call the house home seem to be of a desent sort causing no trouble nor damage to the house itself. With any luck I can speak with them at lenght and hopefully come to some kind of agreement that will see the house returned to its former ways. Alas i will need aid in the work i shall be undertaking and perhaps now is the time to seek out new faces to bolster the ranks of the house and once more bring the skills we have to use in helping the people of this town to see new hope and heal the wounds that have severed our once peaceful town.

Jon and Arthan are dead as i feared and now Kyle and Kaddaz are once more at eachothers throats and it seems there is little i can do about it. Still for now i have other things i must think of and place my trust in that Kaddaz and Kyle will find a way to live without having to destroy eachother. This day i met two brave souls that given time will become great members of our community and help pave a way to peace for all of Sanctuary. Shayne and Nina are fellow fallowers of Torm and are of good heart and it does me well to see thay are not afraid to do what thay must even down here where sometimes it can seem as though the gods have no power. With Arthan gone i must forge on and rebuild the house using some of the thoughts he had expressed. So many have died and i will find some way to honout their memory and sacrefic. Gods be with you all my fallen friends and may you see fit to guide us if we should go astray.

It is almost strange to think that so much time has passed yet i seem to have done little. Of course i know that this time i spend in prayer for guidance is not wasted but it almost seems as though i am not doing as much as i used to but i am afraid it cannot be helped. What time i have will be spent do as i have always done and helping those who would accept it to complete whatever tasks thay wish to undertake and to do my small part to try and make this place a little better. These last days have left me with a strange feeling. Before i was afraid to leave this city for i felt my soul was damned and to return home would disgrace my family and my church. But these past weeks have had me being able to wield more of Torm's divine grace and i can only think that such a gift would not be bistoed upon one damned and cursed from his favor. With any luck i shall continue my path to the fifth circle and so be better able to help others as my old master once did. Perhaps this is some kind of sign that my purpose lies in this place. After all my darling wife May is here and my friends and i have found some measure of peace after all that has happened. Perhaps so, and so I shall continue to do Torm's work in hopes that perhaps one day i can complete my task in this place and take my beloved wife home, where perhaps my brother awaits. One never truelly knows but i do know that Balian survived that attack, i feel it within my very soul and one day we will be reunited. Side by side as we have always been until now. Be that at home if i ever see it again or in the next world or perhaps even in this place if his mind has him seek me out. In that case i pray he is safe and if he does come after me that he finds his way to Sancturay safely. What ever happens i pray Torm keep him and all that i hold dear from harm and suffering.

I always find it strange how some people seem to take an almost total dislike to someone when only just having met them but so seems the case with the fellow i saw arguing with Kaddaz and Shayne this day. I have seen him about town of late and while i know not his name his hatred for Kaddaz seems total and he questions everything my old friend stands for. He is of course a fool but his words where called upon by Kaddaz and Shayne to be backed up at the arena where the man agreed that he would fight Kaddaz but insisted that it be a match to the death. While i deplore such actions it is of course their own lives and not mine and so thay are free to choose what thay do. The fellow boasted to the assembled watchers that the fight would not last long after trying to have Kaddaz give up his armour and weapon which is out with the only rule he demanded for the duel. Needless to say I prayed that my old friend would emerge victorious but alas the fellow must have had second thoughts and cast a spell i am unfamilar with and vanished into the streets. It need not be said that Kaddaz was angry at this nor should be feel otherwise for the act robbed him of a chance to right the wrongs done upon him by this mans words. I fear that this man may now harbour Kaddaz ill will enought to try an attempt on his life but I pray that his attempts are unsucessful as many have been before. Torm watch over my friend in this time of trouble and keep him safe from harm.

This day brings mixed feelings to my heart for both good and bad things have happened. Azreal and Kara live and have signed the letter i left in the house and May has left me a letter also letting me know she is safe and well. For this i am glad and thankful, but things trouble me and in particular Kyle. It is not bad enought that He was part of an expadition including many of my dear friends that ventured into the temple in lower to halt an undead curse where it seems thay where nearly all killed. But he had the nerve to remind me that he had sworn the same oath i live my life by. I have always done all i could to aid those in need and to try and protect them from harm without him having to remind me of it. Kyle seems to have an overbaring ability to say the wrong thing and if i where less thankful for the life Torm has granted me i fear i would have struck him. I will speak with him on this but I shall have to try not to allow my anger to control me. For now I will continue to do all i can to reopen the house and bring back the fine work that was done within it by so many brave and noble souls.

This has turned out to be a good day indeed. I spoke with Verisa and Shayne about the house of light and we have agreed to work together to get the plans i have been working on for some months off the ground. With that in mind we travelled to the house with Nina and a young priestess of Illmater and her friend, a quiet but seemingly kind woman from a barbarian tribe. We spoke with Winston, one of the people who seem to have taken up residence within the house and agreed on many points that give me hope that he and his compainions will be willing to turn the House over to us so that we can once more do the good work we had always wished to do. Verisa and I attended the meeting in the old tigereye fortress of all the parties in lower on behalf of the house and bore witness to the creation of a new council for lower under one Barry Wesh. While i know that this man bares taint he seems a resonable sort and with luck we can hope for improvements in lower soon. I had to break the sad news of Fyrian and Allia's deaths to Snorri this day and while the lose is great i know my old friend will pull through and find the strenght to carry on. Torm keep them and bless them in the next world.

I have spoken with a man who says he represents an order of knights within the city this day. He warned me against reopening the house and spoke at lenght of plots and dangers against in the past that while in part true are only half truths. I would have hoped a man of faith would have respected anothers wish to do his gods will, and that i am bound not only by that, but to the promise i made Chell to strenghten the house and move it forward. While i am glad there are others within this city willing to do right and protect good and noble values i find it somewhat insulting for a man to rant at me before calling me stubborn for only wishing to help others. But as i have always done i will not look ill upon this man nor his fellow and i pray that Torm will aid their cause as he does our own to the betterment of Sanctuary as a whole. The road to rebuilding the house will be long and hard but i have faith that with hard work and an open mind we can find that road and begin our journey to its end.

The plague that has been spoken of for the past days has hit and leaves the people of our town striken with its foul symtoms. I myself feel foul of it but was given a cure by an elvish woman. Torm protect us these next few days and rid us of this vile plague. My thoughts lie with Merle for she to was sick and i could find no trace of the woman whom i had met. I pray she is alright and has found her own way to rid herself of the sickness. She is a capable and quick witted soul and i am sure she will be fine but still i worry, then she has become like a sister to me and thus of course i worry for her. I will continue to lend what aid i can to the people but with luck the cure will become readily available soon enought and we can all get back to our lives without this most horrible of distractions. Thank the gods May is not here for if she where to fall sick i do not know what i would do, though i pray she is well and will soon return to me.

Merle is safe from the plague and i have seen Merien for the first time in quite a while so i can count this a good few days. It also seems Eowung has returned to the city and has been seen within the house of light. These next days will be important if i am going to be able to continue the work i have started to restore the house. With luck Eowung will not object to the plan Arthan and I had begun and hopefully we can rebuild the house with greater unity than it had before.

Things are put into order by the strangest things. This day began with many thoughts running through my head of questions without answer and endless problems. But I was struck down while fighting deep orc's with Verisa, Kaddaz and Merle and for whatever reason i was sent back. Torm it seems still has a use for me and now i will redouble my efforts towards the house. We suffer the loss of Talia this day and as is to be expected Snorri has not taken the news well. But my dwarvish friend is strong and will work through his pain though as normal his whole atitude changes when he is in pain. But all things considered he will make a fine member of the house of light dispite the fact that he was lead to belive by many that he was already one. In some ways he is a little simple minded but that is no bad thing. He see's things a thay aught to be and with luck and hard work such a way can be made to come to pass. Torm watchover you Talia, and you over Snorri. I pray you can keep him from doing anything foolish.

The growth of the house continues well and I feel more confidant than ever that it will all work out and that these past months of work have been well spent. With Snorri and Nina the numbers of our clergy grow and Shayne and Verisa are exellent additions to the knights of the house. And while i wished Kaddaz would be in a position to take his place with them I am sure my old friend will in time be restored to his former path. This day saw me aid the seekers out by the old bone yard and to say it was a near disaster would be the most accurate thing to say. Legions of undead and their Vampire masters lay in wait for us and it was with great luck and skill on some part by many of the part we all made it safely back. Great note should be made to Valaun. He had tried to force the Vampires to take him over the rest of us when it seemed we had little hope of escape from death and his strenght and character where shown to be of the best sort when he faced the beast down and helped slay it. For my part i felt somewhat useless as i could do nothing to help as my blade seemed to simply glance off the creature but thankfully i have been able to repay Valaun in some small way for his great deed's by lending my healing talents against the wounds he suffered. Torm protect him and allow him the strenght to carry on as he has shown he is more than capable of.

Months of hard work and prayer have been answered this day. I met once more with Winston in the house of light and he has handed the building over to me as its caretaker along with a number of amulets that i will issue to the members of the council of light. I give praise to my lord this day for allowing me the strenght to have keep hope in reaching this goal and in hopes that we can do what we must to aid all those who shall need it and that we continue to be useful servents. I have been busy writting letters to all the members asking them to a meeting where we can set the foundations of the new way forward as well as to others for tasks that will need to be attended to for the house to return to its former modest splender.

Torm and all the gods be with us as we strike out on this new path, and may Chell, Linda and the others watch over us as we continue the work thay started.

We have elected our council and now the real work can begin. Shayne, Nina, Verisa, Merien and myself will do all we can to make the house run smoothly and with luck and patiance we can make a differance to the people of this town. I have spent much of the time since the meeting updating the records of the house and sorting through much of what was left behind. While part of me wishes to get rid of much of it as reading it only reminds me of all those we have lost, i must admit it is comforting to think that perhaps the others, Chell, Linda, Arthan, are watching down on us and hopefully we are doing well and that thay approve of all that we have done and shall do. Much work will have to be done and we are as yet still in need of further numbers to aid in our tasks but i have faith in the people of this town. Lower sorted its problems with a little hard work and peace has returned for the most part to the streets. If such a thing is possible and the return of the house also then i have faith that the people of this town will in large part come to look at our house as a place of hope and that we can live in peace. My old master said it well, I serving eachother we become free, and freedom is a dream all share.

I know it may be selfish of me to think it but I do wish May was here with me now. I know her duty lies elsewhere at the moment but I would have her know the good work we have been able to do these past days and that the House of Light is finally reopened. I pray Torm keep her safe and deliver her back to us soon.

May has return to the city and my heart is over joyed. Much has been done but she seems happy with what we have done in her absence and is more than keen to continue the work she had begun wiht the house. It is nice to have her back and now we can hopefully look forward to working together as for so long we where unable to do so and this has weighed heavily on my heart. I have spoken with Kyle about his involvement and it is good to see that he still holds enought respect for me to listen to what i have to say and to find his own path. His stubborness if a fine quality but his direct involvement with the house be that as a member or as a guard in times of trouble is too great a risk. He see's this and we have discussed a solution and for his part seems to agree. With luck this will give him the focus he so needs and let him let go of his sins and move on. With luck he can make a diffeance but he must do this outside of my own work. Torm be with him and let him do what he must. I have recieved a return letter from counciler Bhast asking for a meeting and so i will endevor to speak with him. While I know little and care less for politics i hope we can come to an agreement that satisfyies both parties and allows us to get the House running with no need of further paper work and needless discussion as is my experiance with politics.

I spoke with Counciler Bhast this day and while many believe him to be an underhanded maniplator i found him to be of a reasonable manner. He will front the expense of the repairs to the house and has asked that should we require anything i should send word to him. While i know Verisa is doudtless going to have numerous suggestions i think it would be best not to let her know. She's liable to ask for things that we have no need for and this could put the counciler off from helping us. Of course i will speak to Verisa myself and take what she has to say and weed out anything that would be termed a nessesery thing from all the rest of her more colourful suggestions. The house will have to close down again for a while as the repairs and made and of course we must continue to work during this time but when it reopens work can truelly begin in ernest.

All the work in the world it seems cannot change some things. Some still take pleasure in the suffering of others and yet claim it is the call of justice. What justice is there in beating a man to death no matter what his crime was. Yes I know that Maalgor and many others deserved death and that countless innocents are dead because of them including my dear friends Allia and Fyrian. But justice is the truth and balance that keeps us apart from such monsters and is not served by making us into them if only for a short while as thay are tortured for their crimes. If death is their just punishment so be it but we are not monsters and should be capable of dispencing justice without behaving like one such creature. Threats mount against the cause of justice each day and as these grow more and more damage is done. For months i watched the house of light fall inot shadow before the riots powerless to stop it as the hate swelled within lower at all the people viewed as threats to their liberty. And now i fear it will happen again. Threatening notes and open conflict with worshipers of the black fist worry me greatly and now I fear we have truelly lost Verisa. Once more we must weather a storm that may yet prove to be our end but so long as i have strenght i will carry on. Torm grant me the wisdom to do what must be done, the strenght to fight this battle in whatever form it comes and the clarity to stand with those I care for in rebuilding the house in the hopes that lower and her people can accept us as allies if not friends. I am lucky in my friends, May, Nina, Merle, Shayne, Kaddaz even Snorri and the others. With any luck we can find our way and forge a new path into the darkness of this town and bring what little light we can to its people. At some point I know i will be gone from this place, be that through death or when Torm see's fit to show me the way home. But i will strive to ensure that whatever happens, i leave Sancturay with the knowledge that togther we made some sort of differance. That perhaps we healed some of the old wounds and brought a small measure of peace to her people.

As i write this I know i should be speaking of this with someone so as not to let it boil up in me and destroy me as i have allowed in the past but no matter how hard i try i cannot bring myself to lay my troubles on others. I have spent so long allowing others to do so on me but still i cannot do the same for myself. The damn Banites curs that have made it their mission to slur me and Torm at every opertunity have kept it up and this time thay have spoken ill of May, the purest and best part of my existance. Thay slander her in ways i cannot even bring myself to write here and the anger is rising in me even now but i must maintain control. To let them anger me is to let them win and to give their vile god what he wants and i will not do that. As Torm struck the vile beast Bane down so shall I see those two pay for what thay have said but i will not lower myself to their level and stoop to violance to solve all my problems. Time will tell as one of the fools keeps telling me and in this he is right. In time i will find their weekness and destroy them and then thay will know the true power of faith and the path of the good and honourable over that of vile deeds and evil.

May is safe and well and Merle and Nina have convinced me to forget the fools words. I know i shouldnt let them get to me but its so hard when thay speak of my beloved May in such a way. The house still undergoes repairs and with anyluck will soon be reopened but for now we must continue on. It is after all just a building and the true heart of the house is those of us who strive to follow on the good work it has achieved. I have advertised a combat tournament to help raise money for the orphange in upper and perhaps we can find a knights in those that turn up for it. Things are progressing well on all fronts and now my mind drifts back to happier things. Of May and out family and what we spoke of so long ago it seems. So many of the children in the orphange need good homes and not all in this town can or will spare their time for such a need. But perhaps we can. The running of the house takes up a great deal of all our time and even then we have time for other things. Perhaps one day we can look into this and perhaps have the family i have so longed for since coming here. I know i have May and Merle is like a sister to me. Even Nina and Shayne seem like family but still is wish for something more from life. Something to give back. Maybe one day, after all we have all the time in the world and the stabilty in our lives we have not had for so long now the house has been restored.

*the pages gather dust as thay go unfilled until it is found by those who know where to look*

*A man in black can be see taking the journal from where it was kept*

*the journal rests, for now, at Jozan's wife hands, May Silas (Nightwind)*