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The creative insults thread to use IG

Alright.

If you have some creative insults for people to use IG post them here. This thread is intended to help people insult other characters without resorting to modern words that have no place on the server.

Only post if you have an insult to add.

So here's a few from Baldur's gate I found (Because I'm far too tired to think up any of my own, I'll add some of my own when I can think of some)

Your ugliness, both in body and soul, thought true, is inappropriate for discussion and rankly impolite. You're stupid, poorly educated, and always smell faintly of lilacs, but it was wrong of me to bring attention to it.

Arrogant, drunken, priggish, whiny, pompous are common adjectives used to describe you, but I was wrong to say so. You are completely incapable of independent thought and soil yourself with regularity seldom found outside the nursery. I shall no longer bring these things up in front of the others.

Some short insults that can be used together drunk dwarven oaf wench canker on my backside loathsome mongrel dog or she-dog brutish pig boil needing lancing cantankerous stench vomit ridden wretch beer gut overly lame mule sod bastard

Added ones I like to add (from others) goat rutter god rotting bastard whelp of a pig whelp of a dog whelp of a whore hell and blood swineswater cur

Directly taken from Shakesphere! Some edited to suit awesome paladins, most not!

He's a most notable coward, an infinite and endlesssliar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

I am well aquainted with your manner of wrenching, the true cause the false way.

This knave's tongue begins to double!

Though he is not naturally honest, he is so sometimes by chance

Me think'st thou art a general offence, and every man should beat thee for thy evil tenfold!

All that is within him does condemn him a guilty man

To die by thee were but to die in jest

Were I like thee I'd throw away myself

If it only were my spit would make you, dirtier! Alas, it would be a much needed cleansing and so I will oblige. *spits*

I had as liet be wooed of a snail

I never knew so young a body with so old a head

He draws out the thread of his vocabulary finer than the staple of his argument

You speak an infinite deal of nothing

My! How fiery and forward our pedant is!

You quintessence of dust; whore; guilty creature; breeder of sinners; passion's slave; croaking raven; bosom black as death' wretched. thorn king of smiles; man of falsehood

Horrible villian; villian of the earth; soulless villian; secret and villanous contriver; lean-faced villain; insolent bloody, bawdy villain; Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain. Villainous abominable misleader of youth. Honeysuckle villain; a craven and a villain; abhorred villain

Villainy which did confirm any slander; liberal villain

Closet lock and key of villainous secrets; dull unmindful villain, detestable

How now! O heavy ignorance

By yond marble heaven

Alas!

O immortal gods! Go to, charm your tongue! O ill-dispersing wind of misery! Despiteful tidings! Mercy, mercy! Hang thee monster! Fie for godly shame!

Insults for snobs and wizards (Thanks to Anthee):

asinine - utterly stupid or silly (“asinine behavior”); of, relating to, or resembling an ass aspersion – an unfavorable or damaging remark, slander; the act of defaming or slandering baloney, boloney, bosh, drool, tommyrot, tosh – nonsense bilgewater – pretentious or silly talk or writing to cachinnate – to laugh hard, loudly, or convulsively, guffaw to calumniate – to make maliciously or knowingly false statements about circumlocution – evasion (of an issue); pretexts, excuses; subterfuge cognizant – fully informed; conscious congenital – of or relating to a condition that is present at birth, as a result of either heredity or environmental influences; being or having an essential characteristic as if by nature, inherent or inveterate contumacious – obstinately or contemptuously resistant to authority, stubbornly rebellious coxcomb – a conceited dandy who is overly impressed by his own accomplishments; a fop diuturnity – long duration, lastingness dystrophy (adj: dystrophic) – a degenerative disorder caused by inadequate or defective nutrition; any of several disorders, especially muscular dystrophy, in which the muscles weaken and atrophy egregious – conspicuously bad or offensive to equivocate – to be deliberately ambiguous or unclear in order to mislead or withhold euphemism – a way of expressing that avoids the issue at hand fatuous – vacuously, smugly, and unconsciously foolish; delusive, unreal (“fatuous hopes”) flagrant – conspicuously bad, offensive, or reprehensible flummery – meaningless or deceptive language, humbug fustian – pomposity giaour – (Islam) nonbeliever, infidel hebephrenic – given to adolescent silliness to imprecate - to curse inane - one that lacks sense or substance (“interrupting with inane comments”; “angry with my inane roommate”) inveterate – firmly and long established, deep-rooted; persisting in an ingrained habit, habitual (“an inveterate liar”) labchezia – therapeutic swearing larrikin – (Australian) a person given to comical or outlandish behavior logomaniac – one who is obsessed with words, talking logorrhea – excessive use of words ludicrous – laughable or hilarious because of obvious absurdity or incongruity mooncalf – a fool, a freak myxedema, myxoedema (adj: myxedemic) – a disease caused by decreased activity of the thyroid gland in adults and characterized by dry skin, swellings around the lips and nose, mental deterioration, and a subnormal basal metabolic rate nescient - absent of knowledge or awareness, ignorant; agnostic onerous – troublesome or oppressive; burdensome; arduous orotund – pompous and bombastic; full in sound, sonorous paroxysm – a sudden outburst of emotion or action (“a paroxysm of laughter”); a sudden attack, recurrence, or intensification of a disease; a spasm or fit, a convulsion peccary - nocturnal gregarious pig-like wild animals of North America and South America; any of several piglike hoofed mammals of the family Tayassuidae, found in North, Central, and South America and having long, dark, dense bristles perfidious – tending to betray, treacherous periphrastic – roundabout and unnecessarily wordy pleonastic – the use of more words than are required to express an idea; a superfluous word or phrase popinjay – a vain, talkative person prenatal – existing or occurring before birth preposterous – contrary to nature, reason, or common sense, absurd to prevaricate - to stray from or evade the truth, to equivocate psychotomimetic - tending to induce hallucinations, delusions, or other symptoms of a psychosis (used of a drug, eg LSD) rapscallion – a rascal, a scamp; a deceitful and unreliable scoundrel; one who is playfully mischievous ratiocinative – of, relating to, marked by, or skilled in methodical and logical reasoning (“one’s ratiocinative powers”) scalawag, scallywag – a reprobate, a rascal sesquipedalian – (noun) a long word; (adj.) given to the use of long words; long and ponderous spalpeen – a scamp; an Irish term for a good-for-nothing fellow, often used in good-humored contempt or ridicule stercoraceous, stercorous, (stercorarious) – consisting of or relating to excrement taradiddle, tarradiddle - a petty falsehood, a fib; silly pretentious speech or writing, twaddle to tergiversate – to use evasions or ambiguities, to equivocate; to change sides, to apostatize to traduce – to cause humiliation or disgrace to by making malicious and false statements twaddle – foolish, trivial, or idle talk or chatter vermicious – of or pertaining to worms, wormy vacuous - complacently or inanely foolish; devoid of matter, empty; lacking intelligence, stupid; devoid of substance or meaning, inane; devoid of expression, vacant; lacking serious purpose or occupation, idle to vilify – to make vicious and defamatory statements about to vituperate – to rebuke or criticize harshly or abusively, to berate

Overly 'lame' ass actually is taking the term 'lame' as an insult which is entirely modern in this context.

Doesn't it have something to do with the donkey not being able to walk and thus being completely useless?

Lame's more a term to describe the condition of an animal, such as a Horse. If they've been exerted too often, or have sustained injuries and either cannot run, or run at their old speed they are "Lame".

Yes, but the use of the term as you used it above in the vernacular is modern. Whereas calling someone a 'lame mule' would fit the setting. The usage of words often changes, and if you're posts point was to avoid modern usages of insulting terms--I wanted to point out you were falling victim to your own crime.

I'm particually fond of the slurs used on Deuce Bigalow

Man Whore He Pussy He Bitch Mangina

Unfortunately, it would be OOC for Ike to use them, so maybe someone else can find a use for them

Some favorites.

cur shithead shitlover shitbather shit-loving whore goat rutter god rotting bastard whelp of a pig whelp of a dog whelp of a whore whoreslime (as "bullshit") swineswater shit-licker hell and blood

Also

Shunt Funter Funter Shunt

:lol:

A dismissive insult I used in-game that I was particulalrly pleased with: "candidate for dragon pellet." I was able to get away with that one because of a combination of high INT, WIS, and CHA. A low INT character could go with variations on "drow-bait" or "flayer food." A high INT character could use something along the lines of, "you aren't even smart enough to make a zombie burp."

Instead of saying bullshit, Mile Malloy's radio-friendly alternative is especially appropriate for this setting: "bat-squeeze!" I've heard someone use rothe-shit, and I thought that worked fine, too.

The best insult I've ever heard in any D & D setting was the one used by an ogrish NPC in SotU -- "window-licker." That just about says it all.

That's an awesome song by Aphex Twin <_<

one for drow

Spider-eating Man Whore Don't know why, whenever drow are mentioned amoungst my group we always use that phrase

foul smelling imbreed... could say it to a half orc or some from the sewer town

Iblith is a drow insult. It means shit, or filth, or carrion.

Craven's another really good "Old-timey style" insult. Courtesy of George R. R. Martin.

Directly taken from Shakesphere! Some edited to suit awesome paladins, most not!

He's a most notable coward, an infinite and endlesssliar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

I am well aquainted with your manner of wrenching, the true cause the false way.

This knave's tongue begins to double!

Though he is not naturally honest, he is so sometimes by chance

Me think'st thou art a general offence, and every man should beat thee for thy evil tenfold!

All that is within him does condemn him a guilty man

To die by thee were but to die in jest

Were I like thee I'd throw away myself

If it only were my spit would make you, dirtier! Alas, it would be a much needed cleansing and so I will oblige. *spits*

I had as liet be wooed of a snail

I never knew so young a body with so old a head

He draws out the thread of his vocabulary finer than the staple of his argument

You speak an infinite deal of nothing

My! How fiery and forward our pedant is!

You quintessence of dust; whore; guilty creature; breeder of sinners; passion's slave; croaking raven; bosom black as death' wretched. thorn king of smiles; man of falsehood

Horrible villian; villian of the earth; soulless villian; secret and villanous contriver; lean-faced villain; insolent bloody, bawdy villain; Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain. Villainous abominable misleader of youth. Honeysuckle villain; a craven and a villain; abhorred villain

Villainy which did confirm any slander; liberal villain

Closet lock and key of villainous secrets; dull unmindful villain, detestable

How now! O heavy ignorance

By yond marble heaven

Alas!

O immortal gods! Go to, charm your tongue! O ill-dispersing wind of misery! Despiteful tidings! Mercy, mercy! Hang thee monster! Fie for godly shame!

Yeah, that should spice up the insults of any paladin who uses taunt (me >_>) albeit some aren't suitable for a paladin.

You bawling, blasphemous, incharitable dog!

Also Shakespeare.

Go fornicate with a rothe like your mother seems to have done to an orc.

Is one of my favourites and is interchangeable for different races!

My favorite:

"You braindead Zombie"

I have absolutely no idea how to insu-- ah, who am I kidding?

My biggest advice is to be sure of the spelling and the grammar. This is particularly true for native speakers of English. You may say it like 'imbred' but it's written 'inbred.' That makes all the difference when you want to point out how stupid a particular sister-loving swordslinger really is.

I mean, really, don't make yourself look stupid.

When it comes to insults, my philosophy is rather eastern. Every target has the same soft spots. It's a question of whether you're good enough to RP them out of him or her:

* parentage, particularly his or her mother,

* ancestry (race, region, the ex-slave thing, the lost explorer thing)

* skills and never, ever forget about the moral fiber.

Now string it into a paragraph. Pepper your conversation with it. And don't let up. Remember, you're picking a fight, dammit.

The Middle East didn't get the way it is without a lot of dedicated craftsmen working on the Art of the Insult.

Hello all. May i say first that insults and swearing is one of the matters that really troubles me while playing. I haven't been playing for a long time now and yesterday i did my come back. After some hours of gaming i realized that a new fashion has grown. Many people were using vulgar words like for example bitch or shit. I don't want to be the snobbish puritan but it just "sounded" so bad. Most of us swear quite offen in our daily lives but please do not pass this into this game. I am not saying that we should stop swearing. Someone would like to play a rude character and for that reason he might be swearing more often. But please try to put some more imagination on this matter. And i don't mean using substitutes like "shyte" or "fark". Make your swearing more... sophisticated.

I'll set out some of my favorites: Cowardly dog(s) You are king in your imagination Much wind pours from your mouth Listen to my laughter as i mock you.

Some words worth memorizing for a high-INT character, particularly a snob or a wizard. While some of these may not be insults in themselves, all are easy to put into a context that will make them so.

asinine - utterly stupid or silly (“asinine behavior”); of, relating to, or resembling an ass aspersion – an unfavorable or damaging remark, slander; the act of defaming or slandering baloney, boloney, bosh, drool, tommyrot, tosh – nonsense bilgewater – pretentious or silly talk or writing to cachinnate – to laugh hard, loudly, or convulsively, guffaw to calumniate – to make maliciously or knowingly false statements about circumlocution – evasion (of an issue); pretexts, excuses; subterfuge cognizant – fully informed; conscious congenital – of or relating to a condition that is present at birth, as a result of either heredity or environmental influences; being or having an essential characteristic as if by nature, inherent or inveterate contumacious – obstinately or contemptuously resistant to authority, stubbornly rebellious coxcomb – a conceited dandy who is overly impressed by his own accomplishments; a fop diuturnity – long duration, lastingness dystrophy (adj: dystrophic) – a degenerative disorder caused by inadequate or defective nutrition; any of several disorders, especially muscular dystrophy, in which the muscles weaken and atrophy egregious – conspicuously bad or offensive to equivocate – to be deliberately ambiguous or unclear in order to mislead or withhold euphemism – a way of expressing that avoids the issue at hand fatuous – vacuously, smugly, and unconsciously foolish; delusive, unreal (“fatuous hopes”) flagrant – conspicuously bad, offensive, or reprehensible flummery – meaningless or deceptive language, humbug fustian – pomposity giaour – (Islam) nonbeliever, infidel hebephrenic – given to adolescent silliness to imprecate - to curse inane - one that lacks sense or substance (“interrupting with inane comments”; “angry with my inane roommate”) inveterate – firmly and long established, deep-rooted; persisting in an ingrained habit, habitual (“an inveterate liar”) labchezia – therapeutic swearing larrikin – (Australian) a person given to comical or outlandish behavior logomaniac – one who is obsessed with words, talking logorrhea – excessive use of words ludicrous – laughable or hilarious because of obvious absurdity or incongruity mooncalf – a fool, a freak myxedema, myxoedema (adj: myxedemic) – a disease caused by decreased activity of the thyroid gland in adults and characterized by dry skin, swellings around the lips and nose, mental deterioration, and a subnormal basal metabolic rate nescient - absent of knowledge or awareness, ignorant; agnostic onerous – troublesome or oppressive; burdensome; arduous orotund – pompous and bombastic; full in sound, sonorous paroxysm – a sudden outburst of emotion or action (“a paroxysm of laughter”); a sudden attack, recurrence, or intensification of a disease; a spasm or fit, a convulsion peccary - nocturnal gregarious pig-like wild animals of North America and South America; any of several piglike hoofed mammals of the family Tayassuidae, found in North, Central, and South America and having long, dark, dense bristles perfidious – tending to betray, treacherous periphrastic – roundabout and unnecessarily wordy pleonastic – the use of more words than are required to express an idea; a superfluous word or phrase popinjay – a vain, talkative person prenatal – existing or occurring before birth preposterous – contrary to nature, reason, or common sense, absurd to prevaricate - to stray from or evade the truth, to equivocate psychotomimetic - tending to induce hallucinations, delusions, or other symptoms of a psychosis (used of a drug, eg LSD) rapscallion – a rascal, a scamp; a deceitful and unreliable scoundrel; one who is playfully mischievous ratiocinative – of, relating to, marked by, or skilled in methodical and logical reasoning (“one’s ratiocinative powers”) scalawag, scallywag – a reprobate, a rascal sesquipedalian – (noun) a long word; (adj.) given to the use of long words; long and ponderous spalpeen – a scamp; an Irish term for a good-for-nothing fellow, often used in good-humored contempt or ridicule stercoraceous, stercorous, (stercorarious) – consisting of or relating to excrement taradiddle, tarradiddle - a petty falsehood, a fib; silly pretentious speech or writing, twaddle to tergiversate – to use evasions or ambiguities, to equivocate; to change sides, to apostatize to traduce – to cause humiliation or disgrace to by making malicious and false statements twaddle – foolish, trivial, or idle talk or chatter vermicious – of or pertaining to worms, wormy vacuous - complacently or inanely foolish; devoid of matter, empty; lacking intelligence, stupid; devoid of substance or meaning, inane; devoid of expression, vacant; lacking serious purpose or occupation, idle to vilify – to make vicious and defamatory statements about to vituperate – to rebuke or criticize harshly or abusively, to berate

Examples:

"Your vacuous euphemisms are taradiddle."

"Such vermicious vituperation! Private, arrest this congenital mooncalf."

"You, sir, are a prenatal popinjay full of flagrant flummery, and I would hazard to conjecture that your offspring shant be much more fortunate either.

"Being cognizant of the spalpeen's ratiocinative powers is prone to cause one paroxysms of diuturnious cachinnation."

o_kanivalos Hello all. May i say first that insults and swearing is one of the matters that really troubles me while playing.

<snip.>

Most of us swear quite offen in our daily lives but please do not pass this into this game. I am not saying that we should stop swearing. Someone would like to play a rude character and for that reason he might be swearing more often. But please try to put some more imagination on this matter. And i don't mean using substitutes like "shyte" or "fark". Make your swearing more... sophisticated.

I don't think your objection to modern swears is prudish at all. I strongly object to them while roleplaying as I find they detract from the sense of immersion we all try so hard to maintain.

When I hear modern swearing, I think one of two things: 1) this is an IC-free zone where roleplay is for whatever reason suspended; 2) this is a player I might not want to interact with much in future.

Being more "sophisticated" with our insults while IC isn't hard, once you *think* about the setting, + there's no shortage of material on this very website. It takes some thought, but so did your concept + so does your roleplay. Even if you aren't going to read the Realmslore (shame on you!), you still know enough about the setting to come up with stuff that's miles better than "fark:"

    * Perhaps the half-orc sitting next to you at the Crone makes a rothe pen smell good. Maybe he looks like day-old zombie spew. * Maybe the cleric on the corner is walking proof that Helm ain't too picky. * Or the bard performing at the Rock Bottom couldn't hit the right notes with a hammer + a head start.
When it comes to the one-syllable swearing, what's wrong with checking a good ol' thesaurus?

And when all else fails, make something up, ya blexy squirm.

can I add "kiss my [insert various bodyparts here]" to this list of ones NOT to use. Its a pretty modern turn of phrase.

BUT I must say, if the basis for the FR setting is a relatively medieval world, the use of words to do with sexual and bodily function were used quite openly. although s**t doesn't really become an offensive word until much later. Usually such words are disguised as double meanings however: cock, ass, bitch, prick and bastard are all perfectly non-profane words in a certain context. USE a good context to make a good insult.

"My man john had a thing that was long... my maid mary had a thing that was hairy" a REAL medieval song... it turns out in the end that the long thing that john is desperately trying to get into mary's hairy thing is a broom stick into a broom head. Those naughty medievalists!!

the f-word dates from as far back as the 1500 (if not earlier), and has been used as a profanity probably from the 1700s onward. Simultaneously due to today's feeling around that word I would also prefer it to be limited.

If you're looking for one word expletives for low-int characters... stick to blaspemy. Damn and bloody. Its hard without being able to use christ/god... but be inventive with the FR pantheon.

Or fairly simplistic euphemisms like "Eat crow".

Go fornicate with a red hot poker.

I like general reccomendations of suicide, such as

"You know that bridge over there? Why don't you hop off it and bring a little happiness to the world" or "You better kill yourself soon, or i'll be doing it. And trust me, mine will hurt a lot more."

I remember saying: "Oh your good with a sword? Why don't you do us all a favour and go stab yourself with it."

I'm bumping this in light of recent threads.

yeah good point on the bump.

this thread reminded me of my all time favorite slur from the end of book 1 of the icewind dale trillogy

"May the flees of a thousand raindeer[rothe] nest in your genitals"

then you have others which i also like such as:

Your intilectual ability, surprisingly has become surpassed by that substance you escrete through your rear which you regulary mistake for some exotic food substance.

(^in todays day and age you would just say something like "your that dumb you think your on shit is chocolate" or "Shit eater" but you get the idea on how with a few more words and changing what words you use it becomes alot more setting appropriate)

I sometimes use these as cusses

What the hells? What in the nine hells? Gods in the sky! Gods in the Earth! Damnit (is always good)

Blood and ashes! Blood and bones! By Moradins beard! By Brandobaris' hairy feet! You smell worse than a dead orc lying face down in his own escrements! I've stepped in shyte more litterate than you! I've been to whorehouses less skanky than this place! You reek more than a whore after harbour festival! Darkness take you! May the Flames of Kossuth engulf you! May you burn in the Flames of Kossuth for all eternity!

Some of these I stole, some I made up on the spot. Cookies* for those who come up with the true sources.

The cookie is only a metaphor, and cannot be traded into physical items in the real word.

FInally a link in which were allowed to swear.

some ooc insults -YOUR MOMMA SO FAT WHEN SHE WENT SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN THE WHALES SANG " we are family"

http://home.oldwiz.net/~blakfistforge/duergarwit.html

More insulting jokes than real insults I guess. Still, I've offended people in MUDs by telling them, so they can still work :)

BTW, Someone is gonna have to explain "window licker" to me. I've heard in some game before but I never got it.

With what Ely said about the genitles;

"Oh gods! The burning! *screams*"

Whats wrong with just saying bastard, come on, in the old meaning of bastard, i am a bastard so i doubt i'd be insulted by it but it works.

And a comeback for it:

"Bastard by birth, bastard by nature" then cast fireball and blow them away MUHOHAHAHA

The original exclaimation:

"Fie!"

Shakespeare provides.

I have just one thing to say:

"Where for art thou, Romeo"

Or we could go one step further with "Damn you to the hottest of the nine hells you fooolish whelp!"