~Jakes Antiques now sells WANDS~
After untold public pressure, Jake has finally succumbed; he now has a steady supply of priests on hand, ready to work for YOU.
Why bother with an arcane wand? When instead you can FEEL the harnessed power of a god pulsating between your fingers, ready to BURST forth at a twitch of your fingers!
All divinely inspired wands can be yours, the selection below are just some of our more popular items. Feel free to report to Jake any minor to moderate miracle you have witnessed, and wish to be able to repeat no less than TWENTY FIVE times in the comfort of your own home. With nothing but a genuflection in the right direction, he will have the raw power of the heavenly hosts encapsulated in a two foot stick before you know it, and ready for your immediate use!
~ THE WANDS ~
Suffering from excess fanatical attention? Constantly become bewitched or ensorcelled by extremists? Zealots keep knocking on your door too early in the morning? Look no further, Jakes WAND OF AGNOSTISIM will see you straight! Only 452 coins! ((Protection from alignment))
It is a sad fact of life in Sanctuary, that if the man you meet in the dark ally doesn’t want to sell you something, or sleep with your children, its only because he has already stuck something sharp between your ribs. But have the last laugh as you stagger from the ally, sans purse and bleeding from mouth, as you will own one of Jakes WANDS OF SUTURES. These wands come in all sizes from the budget consumer to the hardcore adventurer model. 90 coins will buy you the POCKET PUNCTURE PLUGGER ((cure minor wounds)) ideal for Halflings, Goblins and their ilk. 250 pieces of gold will allow the upgrade to the convenient FAST FRACTURE FIXER ((cure light wounds)). For the calculated adventurer, trying to balance a limited budget and escalating laceration count, the COPIOUS CUT CURER is the obvious answer ((cure moderate wounds)) for only 340! Finally for those whose friends or family regularly die due to massive trauma, Jake offers the HUGE HAEMATOMA HEALER ((cure serious wounds)). For a mere 760 coins there is never an excuse to walk blood across the floor of the Rock Bottom again!
Piecemeal armour is more than a just result of limited metallurgical and armour smithing talents in Sanctuary, it’s a fashion statement! But don’t let that bit of flesh your showing to lure members of the opposite sex become a liability! Plug the gaps with Jakes INVISIBLE PLATE WAND ((shield of faith)). For just 460 coins you can maintain that rugged look while still occasionally keeping off an arrow or sword from a fiendish foe.
The underdark is a place of inconsistent thermal demands. If its not a sweltering slog though thermal vents, its having your frozen skin flayed off in the aptly named windy caverns or standing around listening to some dreary potential employer while dubious sewer fluids evaporate from your legs. Lets face it, no one can leave the Rock Bottom confident that pulled on the correct attire for the day ahead. Remove the anxiety with Jakes WANDS OF STABLE ENVIROMENT. To take the edge of the worst of it, a MINOR WAND for only 460 coins ((Endure Elements)). But for true luxury, for the feeling that you never left the fireplace at the home, insist on a MAJOR STABLE ENVIROMENT for 1320 ((Resist Elements)).
In our bellicose environment, some people visit the arena for a duel two or three times a day. There is nothing worse than drawing that rusty sword you pulled from the intestinal tract of an oversized arachnid, only to find your opponent liberated more from his drow captors than just his freedom; as he pulls out a massive, rune encrusted blade. Never fear, you thought ahead, and purchased Jakes WAND OF ENGRANDISMENT ((enchant weapon)) for a thrifty 1150. With a stylish flick of the wrist you’re on equal terms, that glowing eldritch pig sticker is only a few swift thrusts from being your own!
Of course not every duel will go your way, and sometimes mysteriously disappearing from sight can be the better part of valour. You have two options, you can either train with the ancient Monk Orders of Shar to learn to dissolve your flesh into the shadow weave. Or you can buy one of Jake’s WANDS OF SUPERIOR JUDGEMENT for 1400 ((Invisibility)).
The Underdark abounds with numerous lightly enchanted yet hard to sell magical items. Never be afraid to pick up a few more with a WAND OF HYPERTROPHIC GIRTH ((bulls strength)). Not only will your pack seem lighter, but at 1350 coins your purse will as well.
Bitten by spiders? Gnawed by rats? Your immortal soul flayed by the walking minions from beyond the grave? Or maybe just feeling a bit peaked after a hard days grind? Try the new WAND OF PEP UP. After parting with 2650 coins you will find you can feel good day after day.
Your rich aunt just died? Just traded a wrongdoer’s head for a hefty packet? Time to invest big in a major wand. Each one hand crafted from the bones of massive and increasingly rare reptiles from the deepest underdark. For the grand total of 4350 coins you can purchase a NOIR CANE ((darkness)), a WAND OF SUDDEN BEAUTY ((blindness/deafness)) or the ultimate tool for every adventurers tool bag, the WAND OF FRUSTRATION ((Hold person)).
~ To buy, leave a note with Jake at the Pissing Crone ~