[The papers in this book are old, stained and yellow. They look like pieces of scrap paper collected from waste bins or off the floor, crudely bound together by strings and sinews.]

Hello.

My name is Alexandra Simmons.

[the following line is written in a scratchy way] That is all I can remember.

I had a dream. I was in the forest. A little girl came to me and asked for help. Her mother. Taken by a monster. The girl fell. I woke up.

The rest of the day. Or night. I can't tell the time down here. The rest of the day. I followed some people. We killed gnomes and moles. I didn't get paid much. Later I followed an elf girl. Zerelde. She lusts for blood. We did a job for The Captain. I killed a man. I felt. Horrible. My head hurts. It hurts so much. Why can't I remember? Why? WHY? WHY?

Remorse. That is how I feel. I killed my first man. My axe into this throat. The blood sprayed on my face. It repeats. Over and over. In my mind. My axe. His throat. The blood. All for 300 gold. I felt so wrong. What have I done? What am I doing? Why am I here? In this. Hell. It's so dark. So cold. Every sound is echoed. Through the walls of the caves. It's like living. In a dream. But it's not. It's real. The damp smell. The echoes. The dark light. All real.

I hear. Screams. Inside my head. They scream in pain. I hear voices. When I am alone. They whisper. But I don't understand. It gets louder. And louder. And louder. Then. Silence.

People. They talk to me. It makes me feel. Comfort. The last person who spoke to me. "Ini". He died. Not long after. Today. Another man. A wizard. His name. Kahrlan. He's nice to me. He cares. Maybe he can help me. Help me find out. Help me. Remember.

I see her now. The girl. From my dreams. Sometimes she sits next to me. At the bar. Sometimes. Down the narrows of the sewers. She looks at me. Sad. No one else sees her. Only me. Who is she? In my dream. She asked for help. Save her mother from a monster. What monster? I see monsters. Everywhere.

I see violence too. Many people just want to kill things. I don't understand. So much blood. On the walls. On the ground. Death at every corner. Maybe. I won't live long enough to remember. My memory will be lost. A mystery no one will know. Forever trapped in the sands of time.

The whispers call again. I still don't understand them. Maybe. If I concentrate. Focus. Listen. Listen. Listen.

I see her more often now. She looks at me. Pleading. For help. I want to. But I don't know how. More people. They want to help me. I have friends now. It is somewhat. Comforting. They will help me. Yes. They will help me find it.

I went out of the town. Through a portal. Used the key the gnome from the Crone gave. It led to a tavern. There was a tentacle man. A mind flayer. Thats what Delydia told me. Illithid. He said. He can make wishes come true. I asked him to help me remember. To stop the voices. He said. He will help. He will write to me. When it is time. I hope it works. I want to remember. I want the voices to stop. I want to dream again.

Nearby the tavern. There was a temple. Shar. I bought a statue from the temple. A statue of a woman. It's pretty. I read a book there. It said. To embrace nonexistance. I feel. Maybe. If I don't find my memory. I should embrace not having one. Kahrlan said. Shar is evil. I don't know. I just need help. Either find myself. Or forget. One man. In the town. Lyalar. He told me. That my life is good. Now. And there's no need to think of. The past. Maybe. He is right. But. There is still. Hope.

I went back. Back to the inn. The Illithid Intryzz told me about. A 'Dream Room'. I convinced a few. A few men and women. From Sanctuary to help. We entered the dream. It was a forest. Like my previous dream. I saw a little girl. Like before. I tried. I tried to stop them. But they killed her. Said she was evil. Then. Later. They all died. Only I remained. A lady in white. She said it was my fault. My madness had killed them. I shared my madness with innocents. They died. In a dream. And their bodies lay stiff in reality as well. Then. An old lady. She asked me if I wished them alive. I said yes. And I willed it to. The lady in white. She yelled in disbelief. Then the old lady said to me. None of this is ever real. But to ask myself what is real. Ask myself. We woke up after that. The Illithid mentioned. That one of us was strong in the mind. He looked at me. My mind. Strong? If it is strong. How can I not remember? How can I hear voices? How can I see things unreal?

Nothing makes sense. Not yet. The voices still come. As does the little girl. I wish not to die the same fate. As the criminal that was stoned. Today. It was Ini. He went insane. And killed people. I wish not. To share that fate. Of public execution. Humiliation. Disrespect. I want to be normal.

[The following is written in a shakey manner]

The elf. Serade. She tried. Magic. To help me remember. I don't know what she did. But. The screams. And cries. In my head. Grew louder. And louder. Then I passed out. I dreamt. In the forest. Again. With tens of little girls. All crying. Then. A bright light. And screams. Then. Silence. I was alone.

Is this. My memory? Or something else? I do not know. I want to know.

Gone. My belongings. My gold. As if the loss of my mind wasn't enough.

Each day goes by. No sign of my memories returning. I'm sick. I'm tired. I see the girl often. So often I don't notice. I hear the voices often. So often I ignore. If they had something. Something to say. I might've drowned it out. Drowned by my ignorance. My faithlessness. My indifference.

I feel like giving up. My life is meaningless. No memories. No goals. Only survival. Married to pain. Divorced only by death.

Time goes by slowly. I wish this was a dream. I want to wake up. Wake up Alex. Wake up.

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[this goes on for a few pages]