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Elvine's tales

A book stuffed in a secret pocket in Elvine's backpack. The cover of this thin book is a flurry of various bright colours, obviously Elvine's failed attempt to dye it by himself. Deep black letters stand out from the mess, and it reads:

Elvine's Book of Wondrous Tales and Adventuring Tips

Hello! My name is Elvine, and I come from Waterdeep. The city, you know, not from any underwater dwelling. Thought such must exist, where else would the fishie-elves live? I have always wanted to see one. An underwater city, I mean. I've already seen fishie-elves. Have I told that one yet? Oh, I can't have since I just started writing this book. I wanted to write up my story and some tips for new adventurers - I've seen a lot of world and thought it would be most kind to share my experiences. That way less newcomers die in the hands of nasty beasties and stuff.

So where was I? Waterdeep or the fishie-elves? Oh well. I was wandering around the Sword Coast once, going down to south. Sword Coast is quite long so it naturally took me a long time to get where I was headed. Now that I think of it, I wasn't really headed anywhere. I was just wandering. I'm so sorry I have to live down here in the Underdark! When I was up in the surface some five years ago, I was longing to see the Underdark and the drow and all the exciting stuff the tall-folk tell tales about. Now I'd give anything to see the surface and the endless sea again. I mean, there was no land in the horizon. Just sea. And sea-gulls dropping some nasty stuff on me.

So there I was, sitting on the cliffs near that Candlekeep. You know, the fortress full of boring old monks. Didn't let me in for some reason. The gatekeeper said they 'value their belongings'. I'm sure they do - I value my belongings too, but I don't know what it had to do with letting me in. Eventually he said I need to give them a book to enter so I gave them a book I found in my backpack. I think it was a gnomish one, something about turnips. Anyway, he didn't accept it and after trying to persuade him a bit, he said he'd kill me if I didn't leave! Now that was certainly rude, so I decided Candlekeep wasn't such a nice place to visit after all.

I was kicking some rocks down to the sea. They splashed in the water, and I kinda liked the sound it made. One time the sound was different, something along the lines "OUCH" and "GOD DAMNIT". So I took an old rope from my backpack and descended down to see if the sea was alright. I was a bit ashamed for kicking rocks in the sea like that, not even stopping to wonder it might hurt a bit!

However, when I got down there, I noticed a body there. It was an elf! Her head was bleeding, so I decided to carry her to the shore and see if I could tend to it. This servant of what-was-it... A hand of some colour. Can't recall. Anyway, he taught me how to use herbs. So I pressed the wound so it didn't bleed and all that stuff. She woke up later and after filling her up in the recent happenings, she woved that she would kill the guy who threw a stone at her. I said that she need only whistle and I'd be there to help her. I so hate people throwing stones at innocent people!

She gave me a necklace of some sort. It had a fish carved out of some strange stone I didn't recognize. I asked folk about it back in the Waterdeep but no one knew. I decided to keep it, the elf was kinda pretty. Her feet and hands were like a frog's and she was kinda good at swimming.

I know I could've got a lot of money for that necklace, but I kept it anyway as a memory. The drow took it from me, of course. I hope to find the elf when I get back to the surface so she can give me a new one. Or maybe we don't have to depart. Then I don't have to keep a memory of her with me all the time.

The moral of this story is, kids, that always help those in need! It always pays back, in form of stuff, shinies or a good deed. Hey, that rhymes. I think I'll make a poem out of it. I'm not such a good singer but I met this bard lately and I'm sure she could compose it.

My hand's pretty tired after all this writing so I'll have to tell my story later. Well, that was a story too. But I mean, the way I came down here in the Sanctuary and what I was before. Maybe tomorrow.

I just met this pretty lady called Tatyana Krasivaya. I was just leaving the Rock Bottom when I bumped into her and she was bleeding! I have to be more careful when running around like that, she was badly wounded. Of course I healed her and sincelery apologized. We had a nice little talk about slaving and I told her about this book. She suggested I should publish it to become rich and famous! How about that. I told her that if she sends me some stories, I can write them here so she becomes famous too. I was hoping to go with them to go find some duergar woman's husband but she - the duergar, not Tatyana - didn't want me there so I came here to write my book.

I got a bit lost on the subject last time so I'm going to concentrate on me and Waterdeep this time. My parents went somewhere one evening, said they'd pay a visit to the local inn, but they never came back so I thought they just drank so much and forgot all about me. So I spent my youth without a home. It was quite fun, actually.

I earned my living by fetching stuff for this mage. He was a bit absent minded - he forgot stuff all over and recalled it afterwards, and I had to get them for him. Of course some people had already taken them so it required nimble fingers to re-acquire them. Blasted thieves! I once stopped to tell one man about the wrongness of thievery, but he just drew his knife and threatened to kill me if I didn't return what he had stolen. Sometimes I had to get the stuff from inside houses - and they were usually behind locks and sometimes even traps! Unbelievable to what lenghts a man can go to keep what he has stolen.

One day the mage came to my room... Did I mention I lived with him? Oh yes. I got to peek at what he was doing and I think I learnt quite a lot of it. I just don't rightly remember all of it but it'll probably come back to me in time. I always wanted to be a mage!

So anyway, he came to my room and spoke "Dear Elvine, I just remembered where I left this magical time-travelling device of mine! Would you be so kind as to fetch it for me?" He sounded so honest so I promised to get it for ten gold coins.

A bit of ink is spilled here as if the pen had been lying on it with the writer absent for some time.

Believe it or not, someone just tried to blow up the inn! I heard a huge explosion in the neighbouring room and everybody in the other rooms including me rushed in there to see what it was about. A woman just stood there as if nothing had happened and told us to get the hell out of there. Oh well.

So, after asking around at the local inn (some real helpful fellows there) I located it in an estate at the edge of the city. I went in there, dodged a badly concealed wire that was apparently meant to launch an arrow at me from this big crossbow at the end of the corridor. There were plenty of more like those.

When I was trying to get out of there with the device, the owner of the estate showed up and... you know what, he called me a thief! Never in my life have I been insulted so. Of course I kindly noted that I must return the mage's missing belonging's and if he stands on the way, he might hurt himself. And then he drew this big sword and started hacking at me! He was kinda slow though, but when he almost hit me, I had to do something about it so I stabbed him when he was crouched after the blow. I think I hit something vital - I didn't mean to! - and he died soon after. I heard some noises outside so I thought it best to leave the thief to die and return the device.

It wasn't a real time-travelling device, I think. The mage tried to use it but it just flashed and he turned to dust! Must have been an exciting experience. I would have tried it too but the device disappeared too.

The lesson however, is that thievery is wrong. So terribly wrong. Two men died because of it, and one of them was completely innocent! Well, maybe not... If he hadn't forgotten the device around in the first place, I wouldn't have had to retrieve it from the man that had never picked it up and so on... This gives me a headache. I'm off.

P.S. I sent a letter to the Seekers! I thought it would be nice to find the surface and all, and since they've been trying to find it for years I thought it would be better to help them than start from nothing.

(Attached is a letter received from Dalabrac Aumble: https://efupw.com/efu1-forum/topic/47/4707/a-letter-sent-to-the-seekers/index.html)

Yesterday was great! First, I bought a pair of real fine boots. I think they might be elven made. A bit worn, but still usable. I never imagined boots could be so soft. Second, the person I bought the boots from turned out to be a seeker and he agreed to interview me. Grey was his name. Grey Jenkins. Yup.

He asked a lot about my past, and I got a headache from all the thinking so I couldn't write about it right away. I think he first asked how long I had been in the Sanctuary. Now I don't know how that silly human expects me to keep up with the dates miles underground but I think its been a month since I bumped to that creepy guard in those tunnels near the Sanctuary. A pretty unhelpful one, he was. Just refused to answer how long did I still have to walk until I hit the surface. But I thougt "Now, Elvine, you're in the Underdark. Many up there would sell their souls just to get where you are now!" However, instead of starting to deal souls, I decided to stay for a moment. And man, this place never runs out of adventures and the Sanctuary would surely crumble back into the dust from which it sprang without me running its endless errands!

So, next he asked where I was before that and what did I do. I was about to tell him about the wonderful sightseeing opportunities of Waterdeep when we were interrupted. I forgot all about it so I just told him about my life with the mage and fetching items. Things have turned upside down lately. Back then I had to find and retrieve stuff. Now I get the stuff all packed up but I gotta find the person who wants it! I guess its a refreshing change.

Eventually our conversation turned to how I came to the Underdark. After a load o' headache, I managed to recall it. It was this one night... About two weeks after the mage had turned to dust and disappeared into the past with the machine with him. Imagine - didn't take his loyal apprentice with him! Anyway, I was walking on some backalleys, enjoyng the fresh night air and all that. Then all of a sudden, I see this elf! No particular elf, but a dark elf! Now, even I knew their nasty reputation. But I thought maybe it was just shadows playing with my eyes so I decided to make sure it was a drow. I couldn't have forgiven myself had I just ran away without getting a chance to talk with him.

Since it was night, I couldn't shout after him. People in their homes wouldn't have enjoyed it quite so much. I followed him for quite a few miles - I don't know why I didn't shout after him when we got outside the town walls. Anyway, I noticed this forest opening the following night and there were - you'll never believe - moon and drow elves dancing together! They were singing some beautiful songs, too. As I looked around, I saw some more drow in the bushes. I thought they were playing some game and as I was on my way to ask if I could join, all went black!

I woke up in the slave caravan - I don't know how they mistook me as a slave - on my way to Traensyr. There I had to help this mind flayer with his headaches - I get those too so I guess it was just a favor to a kindred spirit. Sometimes the big drow woman told me to go kill some other drow, in secret. Those drow-made clothes were perfect for hiding and trying to move quietly! Damn, I miss them. Well, I lost them after the assignments. One night some other drow came in our house and started killing each other, so I thought I should just stay out of their way. Not going to interfere with their differences. I found this little backdoor which took me somewhere outside the city. I wondered my time until I stumbled upon that non-helpful watchman.

After asking some other general questions to which I tried to answer as politely and wisely as I could, he told me to send a formal application to the Seekers. I just sent it, so maybe I'll hear about it later this week.

Not only books can be read, but also a whole shitload of things. Me and Ghost met this man who could read auras! I knew I had an aura, along with quite a few things. Being very self-examinative of my nature, I asked him to read my aura - and he said it was BLUE! Imagine, I have a blue aura. I wanted a purple or a green one. There's gotta be someone I can send complaints about this. He said red would've been bad while blue is good. A soft colour, he says. I think its cold and evil. And while evil people can be pretty cool too (Ghost worships Bane. Or Cyric. He rambled about both.) But he's cool anyway) I don't want to be evil. I don't think good's such a practical choice either. I mean, you gotta do all that noble stuff like giving away all you own and stuff. Not really my thing, though helping others pays sometimes. I wish I could read auras. I could tell if someone was actually needing my services or just pulling my leg. I was pretty unsure about this one fellow talking about Casimir and some elf that wanted people to go hunt for drow. After all, he wanted me to spy upon some Imnan. Gather information and stuff. And of Roryn Orebender too. I'll see to it if things get boring anytime.

Long time ago, when I was stumbling about the Skullport, I saw this elven lass reading pictures! You know, pictures carved into the stone. Not anything easily learnt I think, since the pictures were of such bad quality. I had no idea what they were about. She said they were something about burying people alive because they did something nasty. I thought they resembled.. Oh, nevermind. I think the Underdark is full of all kinds of pictures. Especially the Seeker hall (pestered Ivlysar about my application the other day) with all those paintings. The skill could prove useful...

Some really wise folk can 'read lips', or so I am told. It means that someone moves his or her mouth as if talking but doesn't actually talk! And then the wise guy knows what the speaker's saying. Or if someone is talking and the wise guy can't hear what he's saying, but knows anyway because he sees how the mouth moves. Now that's something really useful down here. There's always someone to spy upon and if I could read lips I could keep a distance to the one I'm spying!

The most amazing style of reading is that what mages do. They read nothing! I mean, they look at the paper and read what it says, but the paper is empty! A couple of times I saw a mage use magics when reading a paper, probably using the paper so he didn't have to remember the magic words - and when he threw it away, it was empty! How about that. I don't think I wanna try magics anymore after all - its such hard work! I'll just use those magic sticks and read the magic words from papers - papers that are not empty! I'm not going to learn to read empty papers. Nope.

Whew! I knew I had collected a few gold pieces from here and there for my retirement, but the banker said I had 4000 shimmers on my account! Now that I think of it, I always seem to find large pouches when I go adventuring. Along with loads of other stuff. Plus when I collect the goods on adventures, I always come out richer than the others... Strange. Anyway! About wealth I recall this one story.

Me and my buddy, a dwarf, were arguing who's the richest man in Waterdeep. He was suggesting someone with no actual idea of wealth, and just couldn't understand he was wrong. So, we decided to break in a bring a token of their wealth. So...

One night I went to this estate. A couple of dogs in the courtyard, had to use this one magic stick I found. Pretty easy to use, it was. The dogs fell asleep right where they stood without making any noise! Then, there was this badly concealed backdoor with a simple lock... Too simple. Launched a small needle at my finger. I pulled it out very quickly when I heard the mechanism. I started to doubt he was the richest man after all, since he couldn't afford some real traps.

Anyway, I sneaked into this chamber and guess what I found - a safe full of gems, including this real big diamond. Of course I took it and ran away. One of the dogs caught a bit of my clothing. Dunno why I ran to the frontyard.

But, my buddy! He brought me this small bag. I laughed my little arse off. But he claimed it was magical and that he had brought all the gold the man had. What a ridiculous claim. His face came very pale when I showed him the diamond and told him there was more. He left me with the bag and ran to the estate and got caught - and was even blamed for stealing the diamond! Too bad. Got hanged the next morning.

I ran out of friends pretty soon after that - even though I was rich, so very rich - because everybody blamed me for his death! Why would I have masterminded the death of my own buddy? My heart mourns for such misunderstanding. Anyways, that's when I moved to Luskan...

Now I've just had about the most exciting experience in my life! There I was, planning to go and wander about the Underdark. At the gate, a hellish stench caught my nose and there stood this dwarf. Well, he wasn't so well equipped but I thought, better to have some company, even if smelly. It can be so awfully boring to wander about the Underdark all alone - let alone dangerous!

Finally he agreed to come - and I convinced him to come close enough so I didn't have to shout in the middle of the Underdark. And we didn't get too far off the gates when we already met two humans... Bent over a very dead body! Oh yes, we caught the murderers red handed. They said they had been attacked by the dead guy but I seriously doubted that - he was dead after all. We met some more people but none of them joined us - a pity. We found some real exciting things.

The dwarf said he is a ranger but he was immediately spotted by some gnoll magelings! Lucky he didn't get himself killed. And lucky the snakepeople didn't see him. That would've been the end of me too. They looked pretty much like powerful wizards.

Since he was pretty badly wounded, I gave him some potions and sent him away - after promising to wander about some safer places next time. I couldn't help being excited - I had found new caverns! - but I couldn't expect everybody to be as seasoned adventurers as I am.

I found this big dragon, though it was made of stone. Almost had a heart attack. But what was really scary was the things I saw in this canyon I found... Imagine like, men but instead of legs they had the body of an ant! And they were big. I sneaked a bit further, and what did I see... A floating eyeball! Not a small one, mind you, but a real beholder! That was when I had enough and started backing away to the Sanctuary. Next time I'm going to pick that lock behind that statue. I bet it was a dragon's lair...

Lesson one: Be sneaky!

Geez. I always miss all the exciting things! I couldn't believe my ears when I heard the city had been attacked by hundreds of SPIDERS while I was paying a visit to the Blue Mushroom. They weren't so happy to see me again, for some reason, but I it must've been because of some terrible incident with lizards or something. I didn't want to bother them with it.

So there I was, talking about that beholder I saw yesterday, when Ryft showed up. I thought maybe she hasn't seen beholders before, so I asked if she wanted to see any. Well, of course she did. Now there's an adventuring spirit if I've ever seen one! She may become as good as I am someday. Anyway, soon I had six of us just going to see the eyeball. Some of them couldn't be sneaky and they wanted to kill the eyeball. I think that would've been a sight!

Anyway, we didn't see any beholders... But we did find a mind flayer! I was pretty scared. I dunno why, I thought I got over with that thing. But I wasn't the only one running. When it used its big brains against us, we had to stop to think for a moment and we noticed it was pretty weak! So we killed it. And I, Elvine, landed the killing blow!

At first I just wanted the heck out of there but after a while, I thought that I won't be going back there every day. So why not see what else is there? So, I went back. And some people showed true friendship - I almost fell to tears there when Ryft, Rissi and Celas came down with me! Well, the place was beginning to look familliar but I realized I had been here before only when we reached the gates of the mind flayer city. Felt a bit dizzy there. Others didn't feel so good too. So we went back. Saw the place only once before when this one mind flayer that was befriended with the dark elves visited the place. He needed a mule. I wasn't too good at that and lucky I wasn't lashed by his big brains!

On the way back though, we met more antmen. And one of them knew magics! Celas fell, and the rest of us were pressed tough... When I realized there was still some magic left in my cloak! It was a shame to lose it - releasing the magic destroyed it - since it smelled like fresh air and water and it reminded me of the surface. But our lives - well, their lives actually since I managed to hide - depended on it so I released an air elemental from the cloak and we were saved. And did I hear a word of thank? Oh well. I'll forgive it since they did such a nice thing coming down there with me.

Lesson two: Be loyal to your friends! (if its worth the trouble)