...on both sides of the doors at the Watch + Town Hall.*

5 Alturiak 1372 DR

Dearest Sherrif Shorty:

I regret that this letter may somehow interrupt your daily five-course yet again.

However, your people at the you-know-where are not interested in the you-know-what. The fact that it poses a security you-know-what seems beside the point. Considering the ample funding your organization enjoys, I cannot imagine why my observations have met with such you-know. I thought the job of the Watch was to keep Sanctuary's citizens you-know-how.

For the sake of not furthering the security you-must-know-what, this diagram is a general representation of you-know-where. I can only hope it is clear enough to make sense after you've downed those incredibly rich pasties of yours. Look at this picture. Pretend it's a place where you regularly post your people. Something on the picture does not belong. A fresh batch of candied mould to the first sherrif or Watch-supporting Councilmember who can figure out what that something might be.

For your convenience, I have taken the liberty of labelling the cardinal directions. I know how tricky those things can be.

On behalf of the people sentenced to live in this gods-forsaken chip of you-know-what, get off your lard-encrusted ass + do something about the gaping you-know-what before something crawls out of it.

Oh, + thank you for making Sanctuary a wonderful place to raise the kids. Sherrif Walters 4-Ever.

The Watch privates stationed on both sides of both doors read over the posters. Five minutes later, after some head-scratching, they remove them.

Soon thereafter, the postings are forwarded to the Watch House. Sergeant Fezlkirn reads over one, amused, and then files it in the Watch archives. He forwards another to Sheriff Walters, and surreptitiously slides the other two into a long inconspicuous carrying tube, which he takes home with him later that day.

After spending a good twenty minutes yelling at the recruit who brought him the posting, Sheriff Walters sets aside his stone lizard omelette and lays the posting out on his desk. Attempting to figure out what the map is pointing toward, he gets up and circles the desk several times, to no avail. Finally, he sends Sergeant Boris to go rummage through Lieutenant Greer's possessions and find that set of lanceboard pieces. Once these are brought down to his office, the Sheriff begins placing them on the map in positions corresponding to sentry points on the Sanctuary gate. He then has Sergeant Fezlkirn bring him two other maps of the gate area, which he lays out next to the posting. After aligning them with the directions on the posting, he finally concludes:

"I knew it. Bunge is up to something. Well, Boris, you know what to do."