“Now, don't cry little one, I won't be gone long at all. You'll see.” said her father, patting Kata's head gently as she clung to his leg, sobbing.

“I don't want you to go!” she wailed, looking up into his kind face, eyes brimming with tears.

“I have to, Kata. You know that.” he said as he kneeled to hug her tightly one more time.

Kata folded into her father's shoulder and cried brokenly for what seemed like hours, but must have been far shorter. The sobs finally subsided, and her father hugged her a final time before standing.

“I’ll be back in two weeks Kata, I promise.” he said as he looked down at his five year old daughter fondly. He sighed, reached down and grabbed his duffle then turned and walked up the gangplank to the waiting ship. Waves and cries from other crew welcomed him as he stepped aboard.

Kata watched her father leave, tears still streaming down her face. Her hand crept up and met that of her mother, and she clung tightly to that reminder of safety.

“Come, Kata. It’s time to go home.” said her mother, watching the ship with a resigned expression on her face. She spun about and walked away, towing Kata after her. Kata looked one last time over her shoulder, searching for the familiar face among so many strangers in the chaos on the ship. She spied him stepping down a stairway to belowdecks, then he was gone.

She shook her head. The nightmare was just that, a nightmare. He would be home soon, he’d promised.

She never saw him again.

Shauna Trevail - When was I frist called Evil?

16 and in love with Samuel, a kind caring and gentle Holy Warrior in training. I was never very attractive but he loved my strength and that we could wrestle or spar or ride together - he wanted someone that could keep up with him not stay at home and mend his small clothes.

I was so excited to see him in the market place, he had been absent for 2 months undertaking his final vows and training in Tyr's temple. By just looking at him you could see the change - he was almost radiant in his new armor.

Running up and throwing my arms around him in greetings - he recoiled from me as though I were a snake - his eyes hard and narrow and then he spat his venom.

"Get off me you succubus!! - defiler of all that is good and Holy - leave not your tainted prints on my soul. I trusted and loved you and you tried to defile me. If I ever see you again it will be from down the length of my sword - begone Shauna, by the love I once bore you, or I will smite you where you stand!"

Without a further word he turned and strode off into the crowd of gathered onlookers now pointing and whispering at the crumpled figure sobbing into golden robes.

"...rejected by Tyr's warrior she's been..." "...some harlot I reckon....." "...spawn of hell young Samuel believes...." "...never did trust that one..."

"Shauna come away he's not worth it" The voice of friendship with gentle hands helps Shauna to her feet and leads her home. The beautifully embroided tunic, fit for a knight, left discarded in its wrapping papers - like so many dreams.

“Where is Daddy?” Kata asked in a small voice.

The adults ignored her, intent on their discussion. Her mother was talking with a stranger, a man in smartly tailored clothing made from quality fabric. Kata wasn’t sure what was happening, but her mother was very upset about something, and the stranger seemed the cause of it. She’d heard her father’s name mentioned, which had brought her in from the other room in their modest little home.

“He can’t be gone! He can’t!” her mother cried in response to the strangers last statement.

“The ship was lost, with all hands.” he replied in a matter of fact tone. “This is a compensatory payment for your loss. Good day to you madam.”

He dropped a small purse that clinked onto the bare wooden table before turning on his heel and walking out the door, leaving it open behind him.

Kata’s mother stared at the purse as if it would leap up and bite her. Then she strode forward and slammed the door closed with enough force to rattle it in it’s hinges.

Kata flinched, unused to this behaviour from her mother.

“Where is Daddy?” she repeated, confused by what she’d witnessed.

Her mother’s face crumpled with sudden grief, and she engulfed Kata in a fierce hug, squeezing so tightly Kata squeaked in pain.

“Daddy’s... Daddy’s not coming home, Kata.” her mother sobbed into Kata’s long dark hair.

Understanding finally flushed through Kata, and she gripped her mother back, tears stinging her eyes. Tears followed by the wail of a child with her world ripped out from under her.

Shauna Trevail - When did I first Kill a man?

"I know her secret and I know yours as well God lover"

The ugly little man snarled and uless you want the city watch down here and tearing apart your father's fine little establishment you had better come in here and entertain me girl, and if you cause any problems I will gut that bitch friend of yours for the aggrevation.

Something inside of Shauna snapped and all she could see was the image of Samuel as she had seen him on the last day - cruel and arrogant.

Stepping inside the foul smelling dwelling the ugly little man gloated "There that wasn't so hard was it? Maybe that little friend of yours would like to be here as well?" as he rubbed his hand over Shauna's leg

I can't remember all the details - I know my robe was torn and that a broken bottle ended up in the bastard's throat - he won't touch Kata or any girl again.

The spreading crimson stain and the unmoving corpse was somehow grotesque, even as the bile rose in her throat a little voice whispered - he deserved it you've done nothing wrong.

Looking around she gatheres the small coin purse and spies a beautiful ring on a leaning set of drawers - Smiling she picks it up - whispering to herself "Kata will love it it is her birthday tomorrow"

Seeing little else of value the young lady dons a filthy cloak and pulls the hood up to obscure her face, hunching slightly she slips out into the darkening street.

The door shut behind them with a finality that rang in the cool air of the morning.

Kata and her mother stood outside what had been her home for the past six years, and watched as the debt collector took the key and sneered at them.

“This hovel isn’t much, but it might cover your debt, woman.” he said. He looked Kata’s mother up and down and leered.

“If not, we can find other ways of raising the coin too.”

Outrage and fear played across her mother’s features, and she grabbed Kata roughly, propelling her before her over the rough cobbles towards the nearest turn in the street. All their wordly possessions were tied down on a small rickety cart that trailed behind them.

“What are-” Kata tried to say, but was quickly shushed by her mother as she looked over her shoulder at the grinning man standing outside the empty cottage.

“Not now, child. We have to find somewhere to stay.” she said. “Somewhere I can afford...” she muttered under her breath too low for Kata to hear.

Kata subsided into a sullen silence. She plodded along the street, shivering in the early morning cold of late Autumn. She was old enough to understand what had happened, but not why it had.

Several hours later, the sun had almost reached it’s zenith in the sky, but the pair were still wandering the streets. Kata’s mother was becoming increasingly desperate, and Kata wisely kept quiet and out of the way.

What the future held was anyone’s guess.

Shauna Trevail - What was Home Life Like?

Ever since I can remember we lived in the same house on the Docks of Waterdeep. I always had the same room to myself until Kata moved in with us then I had to share - at least I got the top bunk.

Granger "Rangy" Trevail, a modest merchant and retired rogue, always provided well for his family. Nicholas, Kata and myself always had tutors and instructors - though I always preferred the sword and riding to history and math.

I always remember the talks Rangy would have with us about looking out for family and doing anything necessary to keep family safe - something I have always vowed to do and something he has done very well. We live in a rough part of town but have always been left alone and treated quite friendly by the people around.

I had heard rumors that Papa was not as retired as he made out to be and would certainly explain some of the odd assortment of items that needed to leave Waterdeep in a hurry on a Trevail & Co ship.

What I really miss most are Mamma Trevail's roasted pigeon pies seasoned with a special assortment of spices that I am not to be told until my wedding day. At this point hat looks to be a long way away.

It was five years to the day since she’d learned of her father’s death.

Kata celebrated in her usual way, lighting a small candle she’d hoarded for that purpose, and staring at it until it guttered out. Memories came unbidden, dancing through her mind like the flame before her:

Being lifted into the air, giggling, as her father tossed and caught her. The warm smile and tender embraces of a devoted father warmed her as the candle couldn’t.

Squeals of delight when her father presented a gift with a flourish; a small beast carved from wood, a treasure she still carried.

Her father walking onto the ship, disappearing from view for the last time.

Screaming arguments between her mother and strangers, usually about money. Lying in bed beside her mother, listening as she wept silently till sleep took her.

The ugly, leering face of the man that had taken their home, their sanctuary. The home her father had built.

A new home.. a refuge, sharing beds and food with beggars and whores. Fleas in the bedding, but warm.

Her mother, dressed like a whore and nervously smiling at an aging seaman just off ship, his purse bulging with unspent coin.

The flame flickered, and died. Kata sighed, and wiped her eyes quickly. No one would see her cry.

“Come back here, you little bitch!” Kata’s mother screeched from where she lay on cushions in the small room they shared in the brothel.

Kata turned and looked at her mother. She no longer recognised her.

It had been eight long years since her father was lost. Kata had grown, was almost a woman. Her breasts were budding, and she found herself the recipient of attention she’d rather avoid. Including her mothers.

“Piss off.” said Kata, staring at her with open hostility.

Her mothers eyes narrowed as she reclined lazily amongst the dirty sheets, reeking of the cheap rotgut sold at the bar.

“What did you say?” she whispered venomously.

“You heard me, you hag. I’ve had enough of this. This life, if you could call it that. I’m going, and you’re not gonna stop me!”. Kata glared at her mother, and turned away.

“No! You’re not going anywhere you little slut! I know what you’re doing! I’ve seen you ogling the customers. You want my job! You do, don’t you!”. She swept her arm out as she spoke, unsettling a bottle of rotgut and spilling the contents on the floor.

Kata watched the blood red liquor drain away. She felt something small and innocent die inside her, but didn’t care. Furious emotions swept through her; hurt and anger that had been bottled up for years fanned into flame, burning away reason and any self-contol she may have had.

She spun and stared at her mother again. There was no feeling in that stare. There was nothing.

Her mother recoiled, tried to stammer some half-hearted apology, but it was too late. Far too late.

Kata advanced, fists balled.

When she was done, she closed the door gently behind her, rubbing her bleeding knuckles. Her mother would live, but she’d never be a successful harlot again. Squaring her shoulders, she walked away, never looking back.

Shauna Trevail - Disconnected

I was 8, it scratched me so hard I bled but it didn't hurt. When I broke it's neck I knew it would never scratch me again. Nicky will miss "Mr Thomas" but cats do get run over all the time, maybe he will get a nicer one next time.

Some people have called it a gift I can switch off pain which leaves me free to remove the source of that pain, like Mr Thomas or that little bitch Bekky Collins - she never liked me, claimed I stole her boyfriend, but Samuel always liked me. She slapped me and went to walk away - I don't know if I meant to but she dropped when the oar hit the back of her head. With no one around it was easy enough to drop her in the harbor.

Her funeral was nice - mama bought me a new black dress and I got to put a flower on her coffin - I was told she had fallen in the harbor and had drowned. Everyone was upset and said it was a great tragedy but I know the truth we are better off without her.

I have never really cared what happens to me or my body I can only describe it as disintrest, whilst I enjoy companionship it is not necessary. I have heard people describe the feelings of ecstasy in union with their partner but I don't see it, for me there is nothing a blankness - it is a great tool for working with people that crave that kind of attention, helps to build trust and makes it easier to obtain the outcomes you require but often requires a large investment in time.

Samuel, I would have to say made me truly happy and I could almost truly feel affection for him - it hurt when he rejected me but in the end it is another pain that gets locked away though it does resurface - I would have thought slaying a dozen paladins by the sword would have exorcised that pain but who knows.

And what of Kata and my sisters? Can I say I truly Love them - I don't know - Idon't know what that word means - yes I will fight for them and protect them. Sure I would kill to keep them safe but what is the big deal with that? Still it gives me a focus and a direction with which to keep moving in these dull grey caves.

Can I say I find a satisfaction with my work? No! It is all disconnected.

Kata watched the target from a distance. Pretending to look out over the still water beyond the docks, she threw careful glances at the other girl. The target was sitting on the stone dock, her feet dangling over the muddy water.

Kata was hungry. Hunger gnawed at her insides like maggots infesting an old corpse, and she swayed a little before steadying herself. She tried to recall her last meal, but couldn’t, which worried her.

Things hadn’t gone well for her since she left her mother, five long months ago. She’d walked out in a rage, with little but the clothes on her back. Only later did she realise how unprepared she had been, taking no provisions, extra clothing or weapons, apart from the small knife at her belt.

She lived on the streets, stealing food in markets and sleeping wherever she could find shelter. Success in her new life was limited at first, but as the weeks progressed she got better at being sneaky, until she was able to steal and eat enough to stay alive, though the ache of hunger never left her.

She looked out of the corner of her eye again, and saw the girl shift and stand. As the target moved away, Kata turned and followed, weaving smoothly between the sailors, merchants and other folk wandering the docks. She followed the target up a wide lane, away from the immediate smell of rotting fish and garbage, and started to close the distance, her anticipation building.

She turned a corner and saw her opportunity ahead. A cart had broken a wheel, and was listing badly to the side, spilling bolts of some wrapped goods onto the cobbles, where a small crowd had gathered. The target stopped to watch, and Kata ghosted up behind her, unnoticed in the chaos and noise, so she thought.

Her eyes on the small purse hanging from the girls belt, she didn’t see the small boy leaning against a wall across the street. She reached slowly, ready to grab and bolt, when the boy cried out.

“Watchoo doin’, eh?” he called, and laughed as the target turned and stared down at her. Kata stared wide eyed up at another set of eyes inches above her own, and froze momentarily.

The pause was enough to seal her chance of escape, and as she started to turn away she felt a stunning pain explode against her head. Her legs failed, and she slumped to the ground, stunned and helpless. Whimpering, she curled into a ball waiting for the expected beating that usually followed.

It never came. She opened one eye slowy, and saw the target... girl, standing over her, smiling and holding a hand out.

“You’ll have to do better than that, you know,” the girl chuckled as she dragged Kata to her feet, and looked at her critically. “I saw you ages ago.”

Kata hung her head and looked for another opportunity to run, but something stopped her. Maybe it was the purse still dangling enticingly from the girls waist. Maybe it was the hunger eating at her.

Or maybe it was the warm smile, she wasn’t sure.

Entry 7 - 16 years old

Kata stood behind Shauna and smiled.

The gutter rat of three years ago was gone. She was a young woman now, standing almost five and a half feet tall with lush black hair cascading down to her shoulders. She wore snug and comfortable leathers, her favourites. A long sword, the pommel worn with use, hung from the leather belt cinched around her slim waist.

The years had passed quickly, almost like a dream. Shauna, the girl she’d tried to rob so unsuccessfuly had surprised her by helping her up, buying her a meal and talking to her, rather than beating her or worse.

From this point, the friendship blossomed. Kata met Shauna near the docks almost every day, and they’d spend time talking, watching the ships arrive and depart, and fantasizing about things they would do when they were older. Months later, Shauna stunned Kata by asking her to move in and live with the Trevails, a small but well-to-do merchant family.

Life with the Trevails was a happy time. Kata received lessons with Shauna, and learned to read and write. She learned to work with sums of coin. She learned to wield a sword. All this time, her friendship with Shauna deepened, until the present - they were sisters in everything but blood.

The raucous cry of a sea bird overhead brought Kata back from her reverie, and she smiled again as she saw the object of Shauna’s attention approach through the mingling crowd in the market place.

Samuel was tall, trim and good looking. He and Shauna had been spending time together for months - riding, sparring and talking to all hours. The last two months had been hard for Shauna; Samuel was absent, cloistered in another part of the city doing final penance and taking vows of paladinhood. Now he’d returned, and her heart was in her face as she raced forward.

The reunion was not what they expected.

“Shauna, come away. He’s not worth it,” said Kata gently as she lifted Shauna to her feet. Stealing murderous glances over her shoulder, she led her sister home.

Shauna Trevail - The Dream

"Get the girls they will fetch a price, kill the boy we don't need no squeakers!"

Strange sounds, people runing through the house, a short pained scream - Mama! Papa's yell cut short.

Frightened the 3 year old crawled out of bed and hid in her favorite hidey hole in the cranny made by Nicky's cot and the corner of her room, clutching "rusty" her ginger haired bear tightly.

Loud crash as door burst open lamp light floods the room - 2 hooded men in dark clothes burst in one dragging Samantha scremaing from her bed - the screams muffled as a gag is jammed in place. "Find the other she's here somewhere" The man drags Samantha into the darkness.

The other figure advances towards the cot where Nicky sleeps, knife in hand - a familiar voice swearing and Edwin storm into the room sword drawn - running the hooded figure through from behind! The hooded man drops with a painful grunt, face only inches from a ginger haired teddy clutched by a terrified dark haired girl.

Screaming Shauna bolts for the door, Rusty clutched tight, Edwin makes a desperate grab to stop her but she is past and flees towards the safety of Mama's big bed.

The crimson pool around Mama drips from the bed clothes to the floor - Papa lies unmoving on the floor his own crismon tide flowing around slippers to meet Mama's red flood.

Frozen in the door way the little girl tries to comprehend - behind Edwin utters a soft oath and snaps out orders.

"Charlie get Shauna and Nicky take them the Refuge" "Francis dig up the lads and scour the city find Samantha or the boss will have our ears." "Kellie get this palce cleared up nothing happened here you understand?" "I am going to the clearing house the Temple will ask a lot for their services."

A young man gently picks up the unmoving girl an holds her tight and fetches her little brother and moves into the night. A journey, lights, voices and a grey bearded old man "She is too young for such things" A pretty pink and yellow cloth with pleasant vapors and Shauna drifts into a dreamless slumber.

Shauna wakes frightened as sunlight streams in her room - Nicky is gurggling happily in his cot but somethig isn't right where is the other bed?

Putting on her clothes the 3 year old Shauna fearfully peers into Mama's room and the soft bed is made as always, Papa's slippers peek out from beneath the discarded dressing gown as they always had.

Downstairs Mama and Papa and Edwin are eating breakfast. Seeing Shauna they smile - "Good Morning sleepy - want your favorite scrambled eggs for breakfast?"

The confused little girl looks around "umm Mama wheres Sammy?"

Papa and Mama exchange looks as Papa scoops her into his lap with a gentle sigh.

"Now Shauna what have we told you about these dreams? You don't have a sister - Sammy was a make believe friend and you are too old for make believe - now eat your breakfast and remember no more dreams!" The last statement accentuated with a playful poke to the young girl's nose.

Entry 8 - 17 years old

It was that time of the year again. Kata had just turned seventeen, and was blooming.

Helping with the Trevail business and constant practice at swordplay with Shauna, Edwin working them both hard until they were passably competent also the effect of enhancing her strength and agility. Kata was stronger than almost anyone else she knew her age, and moved with cat-like grace.

She looked down at the ring on her finger. Shauna’s gift sparkled in the afternoon sunlight as she wiggled her fingers, and she laughed with delight.

“I love it,” she said warmly to her sister, as the pair stood outside the family warehouse on the docks.

“I’m glad,” replied Shauna, smiling but with a flat look in her eyes that Kata missed completely.

A door opened in the side of the warehouse, and Edwin’s lined face looked out.

“Stop dawdlin’ and get a move on, I haven’t got all day for this,” he said gruffly. Both girls nodded quickly and moved inside, hiding smiles. They knew Edwin was really a big softy, more like an uncle than an employee, but they let the charade continue.

“Now,” he said, “we’ve got a delivery to make, girls. Just the three of us this time, Rangy wants it kept quiet, all right?”

“Sure, Edwin.” replied Kata. Shauna nodded as well, and Edwin clapped his hands together, satisfied.

“Right then, let’s get on with it.” he said. He gestured to the heavily laden wagon in front of them, already hitched with two horses , and the girls climbed aboard; Shauna on the hard bench seat at the front, Kata on the softer canvas covered load behind.

Edwin climbed up beside Shauna, huffing with the effort. With a practiced snap of the reins, he moved the wagon through large swinging doors that closed behind them, out into the deepening afternoon.

The trip was uneventful for the most part, as the creaking wagon made it’s way from the docks and into the busier section of the ward. The girls rested comfortably, each with their own thoughts while Edwin held the reins loosely, correcting the wagons course when required. Nobody spoke much, enjoying the comfortable silence.

The sun was disappearing behind the distant city walls when they arrived at their destination at last. The wagon pulled up in front of a larger barn-like building in rather poor condition. The only windows were high in the walls and had their shutters hanging or torn away completely. The large double doors in front of the trio sagged sadly, revealing the inky darkness beyond.

“Scout it out Kata,” said Edwin as he eased himself to the ground.

“Right,” she replied, and leapt off the back of the wagon lightly. With a last glance and smile at Shauna who was still sitting on the bench seat of the wagon, she turned and moved silently toward the useless doors.

Peering into the open entrance, she let her eyes get accustomed to the darkness before proceeding. As shadows began to resolve from the blank dark, she heard a small sound and felt a slight touch of wind pass her cheek. Behind her, someone groaned.

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Edwin staggering away with a long arrow embedded in his chest. After a few steps, he dropped soundlessly to the cobbles and was still.

Kata didn’t hear Shauna’s screamed warning; all her senses were focussed on the still form of Edwin. Shock, then burning rage roared through her, pushing everything else away. Hissing, she drew her blade and ducked into the darkness inside.

Inside, the darkness was less pronounced, and Kata could see a little. She felt something pluck hard at her cloak, and looked down to see another arrow snagged in it. She ignored it and scanned the interior, searching for the source of the attack.

Movement came from her side, and Kata ducked instinctively. Something swished where her head would have been, and she thrust her sword in that direction, feeling it bite. There was a scream of pain, followed by vile curses as she rolled away from the attacker.

Anger burned white and hot inside her now. She rolled smoothly to her feet and spun around, charging the dark shadow that was still cursing fluently. She hit the figure hard, the shock of the impact throwing the attacker to the ground and leaving Kata winded but still standing. She looked down at the prone shape, and saw it was a man... boy really, not even as old as Kata.

Consumed with rage, she leaned down and placed her sword blade across his throat.

“This is for Edwin,” she hissed, and yanked the blade hard. The boy gurgled and thrashed as Kata backed away, then shuddered and was still.

There was a crash behind her, and she spun to see Shauna wrestling another youth to the ground behind her. A blow to his head with the hilt of Shauna’s dagger stopped the fight quickly.

Kata turned back to the still shape beside her. Realisation of what she’d done dawned on her slowly as adrenaline drained away, leaving her shaking. She’d killed, for the first time.

Almost retching, Kata turned and ran outside to Edwin’s still shape. Relief warred with other stronger emotions as she saw the arrow was embedded in his shoulder, not his heart as she had feared. Stumbling away, she finally succumbed to the nausea.

The pain in her stomach was nothing compared to the pain in her chest as she remembered the blank eyes of the boy, staring accusingly at her even in death. She would always remember those eyes.

Shauna Trevail - Why Kata?

It was unbelievable - some new street punk thought they could lift my purse!!! It was very satisfying to see the grubby girl land on her backside with a thump.

She was obviously not guild affiliated or she would have known you don't touch a Trevail on the docks - she was a frelancer and there was a good reward for bringing in freelancers. They usually ended working in brothels in other cities against their will or as oarsmen in the navy for an extended period of time.

Still there was something about her - a toughness to her fibre she lay there knowing she was beaten and didn't beg or plead but waited for what ever punishment was forthcoming. She reminded me of someone - another girl I think - I am just not sure.

“You’ll have to do better than that, you know,” I giggled as I hauled her to her feet. "Come on lets go and have a pie"

The look was priceless she almost began salivating on the spot - You would never think anything so skinny could eat 3 whole pies and part of mine as well!!

I was suprised when she told me her name was Kata I was sure it should have been something else - another name or was it a different Dark haired girl ......

I just can't remember