The spellguard is now recruiting for the following positions

Spellguard Agent -

-Requirements-

1. You must learn the vernacular, which is more important than spellcasting ability, loyalty, or anything else. Spellguard agents must all speak in crisp, precise sentences that express total contempt for all around them. Remember, as a spellguard agent you're better than everybody else, and you must be willing to learn the correct speech patterns to express that fundamental truth in everything you say. Don't worry, it doesn't take most Agents long before they sound like an exact clone of every other Agent who ever lived.

2. You must be willing to kill as many people as it takes to defend Sanctuary. By defend Sanctuary we mean increase your own personal power and that of the Order at all costs. We also mean that should you make an error, you must never admit it. It was always someone else's fault, and they need to die for it.

3. You must be willing to breed sick, twisted monsters to kill enemies you don't dare face yourself, while you hide in your tower. Any other organization would ridicule and cast out such people for cowardice. The Spellguard promotes them. The more of a coward you are, the higher you'll likely get.

Spellguard Associate

-Requirements-

1. Spellguard associates must be sadists skilled in torturing and whipping civilians to inflict the fear and pain that keeps the populance in proper subservience to such a magnificent organization. Remember, the spellguard doesn't exist for Sanctuary - Sanctuary exists for the Spellguard! A good Associate is menacing enough so his or her presence continually reminds people of this fact.

2. Unquestioning loyalty. When the greed and cowardice and stupidity of an Agent causes a crises, such as a Drow Lich attacking the tower, it is you the Agents will count on to absorb the ire of whatever they've unleashed.

3. Be able to chuckle well. When people call you names and insult you for being the slave of a cowardly, power obssessed mageling, you need to chuckle like you mean it. All good Associates have the 'I don't care at all what you're saying, you're an idiot anyway' chuckle down to a science. An exceptional agent is able to also convey a promise of coming torture and miserable death in that same chuckle.

Meat Handlers -Requirements-

1. Must have the moral flexibility to carry abducted Lower children into the spellguard lairs that contain gigantic spiders, and feed them while still alive to those beasts.

Thank you for considering the Spellguard for your career. Applications can be sent to Serena tower ; or, simply find the lovely elven Agent who walks around with a black shield formed of a Necromantic spell of which the chief reagent is a baby's eye.