In an effort to beat down Druqks' ego and bolster my own, I am letting the fair peoples of EfU know that I will be going out of town in approximately 30 minutes and shan't return until Sunday evening.

Being ultimately more important than Druqks will ever be, I apologize profusely. For all Games participants, worry not I'll have the brackets up by the night before, though I'm running short on sponsors still. Anyways, see you kiddos on Sunday, don't let anyone blow up the Town Hall while I'm gone.

I'll be home in a couple of hours and might log in to irc then, so you'll get a chance to talk to me. I'll probably be going IG at around 9-10pm GMT+2 in order to bring further enjoyment into your otherwise bleak and pathetic existances.

Garem is unimportant, DruQks FTW.

regards, your friendly neighbourhood DruQks

I'll not be here this weekend either.

He puts a sharp needle in Garem's ego.

He then proceeds to bring DruQks a sacrificial lamb.

I've decided that I wish to try and consume the contents of a 300g bag of potato chips, despite the fact that I've just had dinner. This usually takes around 20-30 minutes, but since CSI's on the telly I might have to drag it out a bit.

As I'm not the heartless monster that is DruQks I've chosen to take my leave of you until I'm done feeding, simply because I cannot hold in my heart the knowledge of all of you having to cry yourself to sleep due to the slight decrease of performance that'd surely follow by playing with only one hand. You can, however, expect me back within the hour.

Likewise, I wish to apologize that I've not been at your disposition while typing this post, but alas, my in-game performance would've still been hindered, if only a little. Read above to see why this is unacceptable.

Yours truly.

(Hey, just following the trend.)

If I wasn't such a total n00b I'd have said something clever like "Is this what EfU has come to?". :)

Addendum: I wish to inform you all that I've successfully achieved my goal, and that I'll be honouring you all with my presence while my stomach deals with the digestion.