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Azzam Fan Fiction

Hey guys! I am a long-time player here, and I've started to write some EfU fanfiction. This is an excerpt from a short story about our very own Sheriff Azzam. Please leave constructive criticism!

He glared at the zurkhwood sheets lying upon his desk. Trivial numbers and the written whines of his incompetent privates glared back at him; mocking his proud Bedine spirit. There was a time, the lean yet hulkish man thought, when he lived by the blade and his desert wits—those were good times; real times. Now, his weapon of choice was a feathered pen, and his wits served only to spar with fat politicians.

With an enraged grunt, he swiped the zurkhwood papers from his desk, spitting bitterly at them on the floor. There was a silence, then—one with all the poignancy of a shadowed desert sun. He sighed in quiet relief when a knock resounded upon his door.

“In.” The Bedine liked to keep his subordinates on edge, always in fear of their commander. He cared little for friends—friends wasted away under the searing rays of At’ar, leaving you all alone in the cruel desert winds. No, he would have no more friends.

The brawny, well-muscled figure of Sergeant Timmons glided in, smooth and confident. The Bedine glanced up, sharing a pregnant gaze with the decorated officer.

“Sheriff. I wanted to run these latest recruitment reports by yo-“

“Leave them.”

Timmons slowly approached the desk, gingerly avoiding the earlier spilled stack of reports. The Bedine could smell him, then—a musk of sweat and steel; a musk he knew well. He set the papers down, but did not turn to exit. His deep amber eyes pierced into the Sheriff, unsaid words ripe upon his tongue.

“You may leave, Sergeant.”

“Azerus…”

“LEAVE ME, Sergeant!”

Timmons’ large hand suddenly fell upon the Sheriff’s shoulder, clutching hard. Though famed for his barbarous temper, the Bedine did not resist. His eyes met those of the burly sergeant, and he swam in their ample amber pools. Like the desert asp, they drew him in before striking their killing blow.

Timmons drew away suddenly, looking about with a newly-procured awkwardness. The Bedine stared daggers into his desk.

“Leonard, I…”

“No, don’t. Don’t say it.”

“You must understand, Leonard. It must stay hidden; I have the respect of my MEN to think about! Thei-“

“You’re ashamed, Azerus? You’re ashamed of this?”

With a fiery scream, the Bedine slammed his meaty fist upon the desk, cracking it. Sergeant Timmons gazed absently to the door.

“I can’t do this, Azerus. Not anymore.”

“Leonard, please. I didn’t-“

“You didn’t mean it, Azerus? No, I suppose you never do. Goodbye, Sheriff.”

The Bedine was once more drawn to his broken desk, unable to look at the departing form of Timmons. No, he would have no more friends—he would wander the cruel desert of his heart alone.

Hot. But it needs more snuggling

EfU slash?

O_O

azzam punched mort in the face, stomped his head into the ground then snapped his neck and threw his body on the floor, stomping it into a puddle as an example to all

Brokeback Undermountain.

That was lush, I knew there was something about Azzam :wink:

You are a disgusting, disgusting man.

I cannot let such a clear play for my EFU-related slash fiction throne go unanswered.

Ready your quill, warrior!

Umm.... was it just implied that Azzam was gay? 'cuz I think that story just implied he was gay. That's like calling the great Norris gay. You don't do that.

That was beautiful. It is good to know, that even in the harsh lands of the Underdark, love and beauty will always have their part.

I will look up to Azzam now, as the strong Bedine warrior I have always hoped to be.

Thank you, HiddenEfUWriter. Your words have rekindled the fires of hope within my otherwise cold and lonely heart.

Please warn me not to click if you ever write EfU slash again.

Ever.

Please.

I, for one, am pleased I had to look up what 'slash fiction' meant. When can we expect more, HiddenEFUwriter?

Azzam is not gay. If anything all the watchmen are complaining he spends to much time with his whore. Like When Sten would need him to discuss some important information and hes not their or just leaving and gos "Let Lothor deal with it."

According to polls, most of the slash fandom is made up of heterosexual women with a college degree,

Oh. Now I get it.

Azzam is Gay i knew it. Err i meant Kyle new it... you get what i mean.

Who said that this isn't the real Azzam? The hidden Azzam none of you ever knew! :twisted:

More sexual angst from Azzam! All those... new Watch recruits... looking for promotions... so... tempting...

I would also need to look it up to know what it means. Not sure if I want to or not though. >_>

wcsherry I, for one, am pleased I had to look up what 'slash fiction' meant. When can we expect more, HiddenEFUwriter?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slash_fiction

Slash fiction is a genre of story that focuses on the depiction of romantic, and sometimes sexual, relationships between two or more male characters, who are not necessarily engaged in relationships in the canon universe. While the term originally was restricted to fan fiction in which one or more male media characters were involved in an explicit adult relationship as a primary plot element, it is currently more generally used to refer to any pairing between male characters. The term is also sometimes applied to fiction focusing on relationships between female characters; however, some fans distinguish femslash as a separate genre.

The name arises from the use of the slash symbol (/) in the description of the primary pairing involved in the story, as compared to the ampersand (&) conventionally used for friendship fiction.

More: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slash_fiction

Reading that made me realize we need more prominent female NPC's. Who wants to read a femslash story about the Cleaning Lady? That is the only prominent female NPC that comes to mind who is still alive.

Although my original comment was deleted due to its overwhelming awesomeness, other prominent female NPCs include the seeker chick with the burnt face, Noli the cook, the gnome clerk chick, and Adelia Tyrell.

Of course, I don't think NPC femslash will one up this. You'd have to start writing about PCs in order for this to keep being equally hilarious.

Cleaning Lady + Seeker Chick with the Burnt Face = Hotness :!:

That's true Sanctuary drama right there. An old, probably homeless, woman with a trash cart in the street in a romantic love affair with "don't look at me I'm ugly, oh my gods they are out to get me" Seeker Lady.

....

Anyway, I just want to say that this thread made me laugh. I just want to give kudos to whoever wrote it.

Good stuff. Keep it coming.

:D

Obviously written by Azzam's number one fan ScottyB.

As an ex-Watch player, I will say that this story excerpt rather accurately sums up the intrigue occurring within the Watch faction while I was a player. There were massive homo-erotic undertones to every interaction with Azrus Azzam; likewise, the male characters within the Watch faction exhibited a bonhomie that went far beyond the simple rituals of heterosexual male bonding. Homosexuality is often greeted with harsh stigma-especially in this male-dominated online world where the merest hint of non-heterosexual thought is met with ridicule and outright hostility-but since HiddenEfUWriter was bold enough to reveal the truth, I am pleased to confirm that Azzam is, in fact, as queer as the desert fox.

I think it is a critical step forward for Sanctuary gay rights that Azzam is now out of the closet; I only hope more characters-non-player and player-are able to follow suit and openly declare their sexual orientations. Sanctuary has been in the dark a long time about this problem, but it is my hope that this revelation-and the subsequent revelations of those willing to follow in Azzam's pioneering footsteps-bring homosexuality to the fore of Sanctuary thought, and make it so no character ever has to fear coming out of the dark about his or her sexual orientation ever again.

Thank you, HiddenEfUWriter, for addressing this critical social problem facing Sanctuary. I look forward to more cutting, insightful pieces that expose more aspects of Sanctuary's repressed social mores. If enough of us stand up and be counted, we can-once and for all-shed the light of truth on all of the bias and bigotry that serves to restrict our pursuit of true freedom.

-SaRF

Squall and Rinoa Forever ...If enough of us stand up and be counted...

I knew it.

Also,

Azzam is, in fact, as queer as the desert fox.
is possibly the best thing I've ever read.