Entry 1 A handshake is all it takes, it would seem, to turn a battlefield cleric into a cloistered administrator. The events have moved so rapidly, a week ago I spent my time healing people in the Rock Bottom, counseling the homesick and keeping warriors alive on expeditions into the Underdark how did I arrive at this point. My head is a whirl, my days spent supervising the cleaning effort my evenings planning the fund raising and working out how to responsibly use those funds - always people will be accusing of mishandling and misappropriation - people are always suspicious of institutions even one dedicated to helping feed the poor, healing the sick and bringing hope and light to all who would receive it. I thank my Lord every evening for the strength of Eo's council and friendship and wonder if she would not be better placed to run this House and it's compassionate mission. And my beautiful Sha so wild and so headstrong I love her as no other but will she have the temperament of a healer - her powers so fledgling - separating matters of the heart and duty - I truly need Torm's guidance in this. I hope that the ceremony can be arranged soon and that Mylin will preside - I wish to see my friends there - Asgrim, Gloinar and Perin (Note make sure all silverware is accounted for). I hope Dell will take the role of my best man but I have yet to ask him. I may even ask that peacock Jarold if he would like to perform - still hard to believe he could have thought me a Maskian. I must remember to get the plans and estimates to Greyward so the reconstruction can start in earnest and to organise the new guards at the earliest possible time. I hope that Hectra has thought more on what we discussed about warding the building - I believe between the Spellguard and the Watch we can turn the new House into a bastion of defense for the citizens in the event of a Drow incursion. (Note met Morgan Maddocks - I must speak to her about her thoughts on the plans for the new House - she is a lady that knows the people of Lower and their mind and she needs help with personal issues I believe) Mylin and Dell - both friends - both liabilities it is good to have a clean break from the old guard to the new, mayhaps we can get back to the real focus of what this House is about the people and citizens of Sanctuary. And Kara I have not had the chance to speak with her and to get her mind is she a little more broad-minded than Dell or stuck in the same rigid pattern that was to have become my path were it not for Eo and Sha?

It is late and I am drained - so tired - the battlefield was so much easier than this - so much easier to be a soldier than an officer - so many choices, and the consequences if I am wrong! - is this what it is like to be a Councilor? (Note: Expecting invite from Bhast to discuss progress tomorrow).

(Note: Must speak with Rilo not looking forward to this conversation)

Entry 2

Well everything is progressing at a good pace. The workload is consistent and I have good friends that see I do not spend too much time in the House and get out and about from time to time.

Eowung is overly protective these days, it would seem that she has started to emerge from her shell and is becoming a truly confident lady that will be able to take the reigns of this fine institution when I finally step down - probably much too soon to her liking. The work has been commissioned and Craddoc and his bearded misfits are scurrying around making estimates and I believe that construction will begin in earnest soon. The new basement substructure will be a blessing and it will be good to get the archives back up and running - I feel like a walking scroll case these days. I am missing Sha and looking forward to when she returns - I hope it has all gone well. She doesn't know it yet but she is to be appointed my personal guard and accolyte to the House.

I am surrounded by powerful women and at times it is like trying to herd cats to keep them all aligned on the same path - stillit is healthier to be surrounded by loving people willing to voice their opinions and stand up for what they believe rather than to be surrounded by sycophantic lickspittles. In this I am truly blessed and have no fear that my moral compass will wander of course whilst surrounded by these Amazons of Faith The meeting with Morgan went well we had a frank and open discussion on a number of topics, I introduced her to a number of ideas and she introduced me to mushroom spirits. We must remain non-political, still I admire her spirit and she may yet even win my vote. We need to forge a good relationship with the people here and she is probably the right key - she has some pull with the Tigers as well. We will now be raising our own House Guard - Kara will see to that, I have suggested a young man named Karmin as the first candidate for this new guards but that will be up to Kara of course. The Baneites are becoming an issuse as they are using forceful tactics to try and recruit people - intimidation and fear are their tools we will counter them with openess and love. In the end evil tears itself a part - until then we will be vigilante. Mylin is working well with the Watch and Spellguard and I look forward to seeing the results of the negotiations. I am glad that we are not looking to station Watch members anymore - our own House Guard will be better suited and trained for what we do. I do not like the idea of having to still be under Tiger Law but it is Lower and they are the peace-keepers here. I am glad that Mylin took on the meetings with Bhast - leaves me more time to deal with other more pressing matters. I believe we will have to buy Bhast out of his part ownership of the building but that is a future issue to deal with. We are looking to raise funds free from Council, Watch or Spellguard caveats and hope the adventureres and people of Sanctuary and Lower will aid us in this - a Politically independant entity dedicated to helping all in need. Spoke with Rilo a while ago he is a good man with honorable intentions I do not know that we will ever be best friends but I would welcome him to my home for a meal gladly.

(Note: We need a new name - all are agreed House of Light is somewhat gauche - I have come up with the Refuge but it still doesn't sit right)

Entry 3:

This has all left me and the House quite shaken. A blatant attck on 4 members of the house - Had it succedded the House would have been gutted.

Whilst the events of the attack itself are a blank - trauma I suppose the aftermath is dream like but I am certain real. Again I was in a place waiting for a call and again Eowung was there beside me waiting for her call as well but a spirit offered a way back in exchange for a service.

I do not know why I accepted this as the spirit answered the question I was almost afraid to ask - Shadila is slain and her spirit had passed through weeks ago. Still vengance is a driving force and still I fid myself back in the paperwork with no clue where to vent my anger.

I find I cannot focus on the work at hand and my mind drifts seeking answers.

I have decided to follow in Eowung's footsteps and take a retreat to the caves where my beloved had asked me to marry - maybe here I can finally say goodbye - it vexes me that the bastards stole the ring that was to have been given to her so I am robbed of even giving that to her memory - she would have loved it the stone the same luminous green of her beautiful eyes, now I have no-one to ward "The Eyes" from inside my soul.

Mylin has been given the running of the house in my abscence with Kara as her second. Mylin is already haggling the final costs of the basement construction with Councillor Bhast and Kara is undertaking the investigation into the attack.

Final Entry:

[The page is stained with mushroom spirits and written in a nearly illedgible hand]

The damned eyes always there never leaving. Damned flayers no more spy!!!

Eo Eo Eo - I'm so sorry my curse is your destruction - wing your way blessed rest and don't forget to tell Sha - my sweet sweet Sha - both gone so empty like this damned bottle

Bloody Gods misery and pain I served faithful and now they are gone - this evil place can go loose it self in its own filth -

To those left I came to this cursed place a coward and leave coward not your fault. Mylin it's yours again Kara keep them safe Calia I .... [Ink smudges]

Ah there it is - Eo's sword - Father I'm coming

1st Entry - A New Life

[Started on a new page with 3 blank pages left between the last entry and this one. 3 Locks of hair are carefully affixed to the page - 1 Human and 2 Elven locks of different shades.]

Finding this diary under the bed where it had fallen that night is a true symbol that out of the old can come the new.

To whom do I give praise and thanks for my rescue from torment? My Father whom beseeched Torm to be lenient for my cowardice? Eliastree? Who sent Shadila the visions or Corellon? the Deity of my Love who allowed this to occur?

The three of us are reunited and the terrible consequence of my actions have been reversed - Eowung is no longer trapped in a state of perpetual undeath and I am no longer tormented for my failings to Torm.

So much has happened since this miracle has occured - Shadila and I are married - Praise the Gods but was tempered by the loss of Shadila's brother Andil the last surviving male of the Kantalith line.

In honor of Andil's memory and to ensure the Kantalith name does not leave these lands I have taken the Kantalith name and leave it to my brothers to perpetuate the Addams family line.

Shadilia is no longer a Priestess but now walks the path of the protector and I am no longer a warrior priest but have my call as a healer. Eowung is firmly in the grasp of Eliastree and continues to hold a dear place in my heart second only to that of Shadila.

We have seen Mylin and everyone else from the house except Calia and I look forward to her returnfrom her retreat. The house has not yet been completed and my heart yearns for its opening to continue its works.

The days are filled with happiness as I walk beside my Sha - we hope that our love will be a beakon in the darkness for other people - that hope and love can survive in these dismal caves and that love and unity will draw us together in strength and will provide us with a solution to leaving these caves forever.

2nd Entry - The Gods must be Crazy

What in the name of all that is Holy is Danni doing here in Santuary - is this some cruel joke by the Gods to test my sanity one more?

Danielle is the sweetest most innocent person I know and to be plucked from her Monastary and deposited here - WHY???

Why would the Gods send a dancer and healer who has never left the monastary in her life into this hell hole?

What are Danielle and Shadila keeping from me? I know there is something there - they talk and when I come in the room fall silent.

I hope Elran and Terrence can ward Danni and keep her safe - Danni would do anything someone asks as she sees service as an act of worship - Torm keep her safe and me sane through this time.

Priestess Leera attempted to punch my lights out - at least this has been resolved and I see her a valuable addition to the House. So many people just don't understand - Danni's subservient attitudes irritates a lot of people but she is truly happy - people keep trying to change her and order her to do things to make them feel better but she is miserable - Torm Guide me what can I do?

Eowung is my best hope - perhaps her gentleness and past will help Danni to see a new way, a way that will keep her safe from the opportunists that pray on the weak and naive in Sanctuary.

3rd Entry - Torm Help us All

What has Eo done? GAHHHHHH - She has unleashed Dannielle without proper supervision or training - I was hoping that she would have understood that Danni needs to be kept close and instructed rather than just given a robe and told to go and do good.

I couldn't beleive it when she told me what she had said to Lotho the man could remove her head without blinking.

Someone has to teach her temperance - zeal for Torm is a wonderful thing if she were not surrounded by wolves - unfortuntaely she has lost a measure of respect for me since I took Shadila's name - she basically said that she appreciates the input but is bound to Eowung and not me.

On the brighter side I am enjoying me time with Shadila - with the house yet to open we have found plenty of time to ber together and to learn more about each other - I hope the Gods are kind and help us to see the light of the sun once more.

4th Entry - Mixed Blessings

A son or a daughter? I am beyond words to describe the joy I am feeling!

The prospect of being a father scares me to death - what do I know about parenting? Then again what did I know about courtship and marriage - nature will take its path and I am surround by wise and kind people.

Eowung is stoked at the idea of being an Aunty and I knwo the others in the house are happy for us as well.

Shadila however has been very ill these past 2 weeks - I have staid by her constantly - praying and healing but she does not get any better and she does not grow any worse - we are both exhausted - so much healing energy granted by Torm has been poured into my darling Shadila but still the fevers come and go and so do the cramps - this is not normal I know but no-one here understands what is happening.

I fear for the child and I fear for my wife - all other thoughts are driven aside - my life exists on two levels - Shadila and the house - I have not spoken with friends in so long - I am not sure what is happening with Eowun and Danni.

Shadila stirs again the fever begins my vigil continues

Torm please be merciful on the Kantalith clan - so much has already been lost.

5th Entry - Despair

My Lord has answered half of my prayer and my Shadila lives, but hopes for rekindling the Kantalith clan have faded perhaps if we ever reach the surface again we will find the answers but for now nothing.

We ventured out for the first time today both of us were weak from the 3 week ordeal we have been through - Shadila's reflexes are still there and she again wore her armor with pride - words cannot describe the awe I feel towards the resilience of this lady I so proudly have at my side.

The challenges we faced were easily overcome and when the excitment dies down and it is just the two of su saginthe question always comes back - Why?

We have shared with Eowung what has happened as she is truly family and will help us to overcome this loss.

Through joy or grief duties must be attended to - and it was a Joy to meet and appoint Linda as an Accolyte to the House - Kaddaz seems interested in taking on a role as a House Guard and we need more Paladins to ward Evil from our ranks.

Torm be merciful!

6th Entry - House is Reborn

Well out of personal despair professional hope has arisen. The House is open and people are coming in - time to see this vision become a reality.

I wish Mylin was here to see this - in her abscence I have taken control - leadership was needed - when she returns she is welcome to take it back.

We number 5 priests 4 paladins and 2 associates it is a strong start to the house. There is much more that needs to be done but this is seocndary to the house being operational.

We will help the Lathandrites in anyway we can and am waiting to hear from Aric their leader - the Stouts have agreed in principle to the plan I have proposed - if Aric is agreeable we can go to the Watch, Spellguard, Seekers and Council.

Shane spoke to me about the idea of opening an orphande withint the House - I do not see why we could not do this with some renovaitons and extensions - this is early we will see what happens.

My Shadila is ill in mind and spirit after the loss - Linda ha sbeen comforting to me but Sha does not want to speak with anyone at time not even myself - this is not her fault and she understand this but it will haunt her for a long time - I love her so much and it hurts to see her in such pain - perhaps Eowung can break through.

So much so fast

Linda has taken to being a Disciple and her new duties with Gusto and I look forward to seeing how she and the other ladies really drive this house forward.

I am concerned that, like Mylin, I am being set up as a figure head for the house - i have been called the heart of the House and other such titles. The House is more than one person and it must be able to survive and thrive even if "The Heart" is taken from teh House.

This is something Mylin never grasped and it has taken too long for the House to recover from its set backs. Security and Adminstration both have leaders and deputies appointed - I am confident I could walk away now and the House would thrive without me.

3 new Priests all seek to become accolutes - Snorri of Ilmater, Azrael of Kelvemore and Jozan of Torm. We are well on the way to consolodating a serious proportion of the Clerical power in Sanctuary under the House's banner.

Linda recommended Daristin for promotion I have had to reject it at this time as he is not Officer material. I hope Linda will understand the reasons behind this.

Kaddaz and Jirala's wedding has been tarnished by an attempt onhis lovely Brides life and this Shan character claims to have uncovered a second threatening letter - need Kara to look into him - he may be a plant.

I must wonder if the Elven Priestess May is behind the attack on Jirala - she is a lady scroned and I am sure she is angry - I pray I am wrong in this.

And so the cylce starts again and the forces of darkness will attempt to disrupt our House, I was forced to kill a man in the very House that heals when he tried to take my life - the Watch consider it a closed case.

My mind is frayed and I need to seek Shadila's comfort before finishing this entry.....

It became to much for Shadila - the bitterness and hatred towards the House that only wants to help - she poured herself into protecting its peopel but the threats are never ending.

I knew I had been ignoring her needs in favor of the House to teh detriment of happiness and marriage. It came to a head when Shadila said she was resigning from the House and leaving that she could not stand it any more here in Sanctuary.

My duty was clear the four fild duties are Faith, Family, masters and all Good Beings of Faerun. Well my Faith is not in quesiton but I haev allowed my Service to the House to disrupt my Family and it was time to act.

We met with Eo where I passed onto her letters I quickly penned and she accompanied us to the palce where it all began. There she left us to ourselves and headed off to return to Sanctuary.

The Gods have smiled and small vents have opened in the frigid waters heating them with a sweet scent - the luxury of hot bathes and my gorgeous wife and uninterrupted times to ourselves.

This day has been bliss we have both found our smiles and have recovered the playfullness we lost after the loss of the twins. I know this is still very painful for Shadila but the healing process has begun.

We need to decide soon what we are to do but for now I cook breakfast and awaken my beautiful Shadila for another wonderful period of doing nothing but being together.

I am excited!!

Refreshed and renewed we are getting ready to set off and look for the exit to this dark place.

We are well equipped can move quickly and have the blessings of Torm to fight our way out of just about any situation.

I know what Shadila is capable of and she knows the power at my disposal - we can do this - we can find the sun - we will see the sky and feel the wind - we will find a home - we will see the Kantalith line grow strong and I can pay my respects to my father as Shadila can to her's.

It is with a tinge of regret we leave behind these soothing waters and these caverns that have seen us engaged, married and renewed - now they are the starting point to our new life together.

I will leave part of my soul here with Eowung, Linda, Kara, Mylin and the others but my duty to my family is clear.

Torm be merciful and kind and see me through to my rightful palce of duty - Corellon please deliver your daughter to safety and hapiness far from this accursed place!

Well it has been an interesting time - we headed out and encountered another couple of trolls which were dispatched with ease - Shadila can really fight and yet keeps such a feminine quality about her.

We travelled for hours but a number of times have to head back as passages were blocked. A Pair of greater hooks caused an issue but were over come and the hardest was a group of elite gnolls - Torm's hammer stunned their Elite casters and without them the others fell quickly to mace and sword.

We decided to head back to the caverns and set out in a different direction after rest and relaxation for aching muscles in the soothing warm springs.

Today we met firece opposition and overcame it - we are truly a great team and I am confidant nothing can stand against us.

Shadila sleeps - her first peaceful sleep in so long. Here we can see our foes coming - we do not have to worry about false words from lying lips or people reviling us for trying to help - here it is just us together - I have never been happier in my life than I am right now. Were Eowung here right now our happiness would be complete.

[On a page smudged with dirt, blood and tears]

My sun has set and the moon has fallen from my sky - there are no stars just the inky blackness of numbing despair.

My end has come - the last act of Chell Kantalith completed. My joy is gone but my duty remains and an Addams never shrunk from duty.

I carry my beloved's armor and weapons and leave my own behind - perhaps some creature in the dark will take and end what I am feeling.

Sanctuary ahead my life behind and trapped in the requirements of my service to my Lord.

Vague images are all I remember - darkness, trolls, running - the pain and the blood.

Never so helpless - cursed by a mage - unable to cast - alone. Potions help can;t move quiet enough - spotted and flee

Caves full of fog - lost pursuers - too much blood seeping - feel cold - no healing - go on or die.

Canal ward - nearly home - The House empty - no guards - no one to help. Key to doors - stairs - darkness.

"Oh Goddess"

These words cut through the murkiness and opening my eyes there was Eo - face contorted in fear and worry.

Words canted and I can feel the soft touch of Eilistrae closing wounds and restoring strength. Again and again the soft touch of the Goddess as my broken form is restored. Welcome darkness swallows me again

"Chell here eat this"

Blue eyes smiling down at me from an Elven face as Eowung offers me food and drink. So tired and hungry the fare is welcome.

Eating slowly - Eowung watches concenred and hurting from the tale of my beloved's passing. Again sleep takes me mercifully away from the darkness that has taken hold of my heart.

"Chell I know how to help you"

My fair Ewoung calls on her Mistress and I feel the shackles on my mind ripped asunder and my strength in Torm fully restored.

How can I in words express the graitude and closeness I feel for this lady that has yet again saved my life. Eilisatrae please grant Eowung the happiness she deserves in her life.

Finally sleep - peaceful sleep - uninterrupted.

The blue of Eo's eyes has drowned out the horror that lurks within - I awoke to find her still sitting beside me leaning against the wall in sleep.

She found me passed out at my work table and woke me in the middle of the nightmare - she was so angry that I hadn;t been sleeping and using spells to try and dispel fatigue - when I could finally explain what was going on and the Eyes were back - she understood and knew what to do to help.

Laying Eo out and covering her so she can sleep and I can write this journal with a clear mind for the first time.

The nightmares will keep coming - what did that Flayer do to me - they have taken a horrible turn and are much worse - what is it about Shadila and now Eowung that can keep these at bay?

My armor is ready - Shadila's plate has been modified and colored to suit me White for the House of Light - Black for Mourning. I have given to Elran her weapons and belt and wish him well that he will escape and help the Kantalith name to flourish.

Danielle has been very quiet about what has happened - we haven't spoken much - she seems conflicted and is avoiding me - I think I know why. Hopefully Eowung can help her through this in a lot of ways she has had a far rougher time of it than I have and I know she is still hurting over Kaddaz - but life moves on and she will grow and adapt.

Linda is doing a great job with the clean up program though I am suprised she even considered the idea of sending people to do crime undercover and with the CDL. Still she has seen the error of the idea and it will not be brought up again.

Will meet with the Tigers and see what can be done - we are in lower and are going to remain in Lower - The Watch and the CDl won;t like it but I am sure the Tiger's will listen to what I have to say - it will work to both of our interests.

I can hear Eowung beginning to stir - the least i can do is prepare her some breakfast to say thank you - hopefully today we can make the journey so she can say goodbye to Shadila.

Well the journey has been made and Eo has said good bye to her Sister.

I spoke with Eo and what needed to be said has been said and as I expected she was shocked.

Shadila you taught me the meaning of living now and speaking plain and honest. I hope this does not destroy me or Eo but that we will survive through this.

Know that we are safe and all you have asked I have put into play. Now we await and see if the Gods have granted me Wisdom or Folly in this matter.

Eo has left for the temple and I look forward to seeing her back soon - I pray she will fidn the path she is after and will find the peace she seeks. Eo has some hope of learning the fates of the slaves that were taken.

I know in my heart that what ever decisions Eowung makes we will remain Brother and Sister. I miss her prescence and sleep is not easy but I persevere - perhaps I am just growing use to teh horrors I see each night.

Meriam saved both Linda and I from being suffocated in the Auction House fire - I beleive Valerious was behind this attempt to kill 2 senior members of the House of Light.

How is it that just minutes before the doors are locked and the fire set that all the Tigers and Valerious disappear and were not trapped inside?

Afterwards as the fire was being fought I spoke with Valerious he is a bitter and twisted man who sees oinly hate - his arguments have no foundation and the greatest harm he accuses us of - the dead citizens - were killed by the peoepl he knows - as if it is our fault these thugs atatcked the building and peopel in it.

Either he is behind these attacks or he knows who is doign it - his corruption is total and would not listen to reason - I will see his blood on my blade as an enemy of the House and all that is right - then the people that follow his orders.

If any of the Tigereye Mercenaries ar einvovled in tis I will see their bodies disposed off - this is a corruption that cannot go unpunished - I now see that we are at war and it is time to remove this evil that threatens us.

Today I ordered and approved the execution of a man. Torm help me if I am wrong.

Eowung's abscence has finally helped me to throw into perspective the nature and duty of my service in Sanctuary and I have come to the realisation that I am slowly failing the House and the City.

So many months ago I worked to exhaustion to put out the fire that gutted the House and amid the ashes and ruins Mylin told me to rebuild the House and then she disappeared. Whilst I had the support of friends this was left as my burden.

This burden destroyed me and when I had lost both Shadila and Eowung I could not live with the crushing despair and responsibility and took my own life.

Fate played a hand and I was returned to this life to be in the arms of my bride even though it be for a short time before she was taken again. Her words and her love even as she lay dying changed me - taught me to be honest with myself about who and what I am.

Shadila's death is something that I will never truly get over and I do no think another can take her place - I told Eowung the truth and made my offer and as I knew she would she recoiled - there is too much there too much hurt and I pray she finds the peace she seeks with her new sisters - how I envy her that opportunity to be amongst the true believes again and to receive tutelage and lessons.

But the path between Eo and is now fully laid bare, nothing is hidden - no shades to trap and bind - we can go our seperate paths and know we will always love each other as brother and sister.

That is one path cleared the next path is the House itself - I have fulfilled the duties as requested - the House is rebuilt and has been restaffed by people that care for the Mission of Sanctuary. It is time to admit that I have reached the limits of what I can really do with the House - the truth is I do not have the compasison to feed the hungry, cloth the cold or shelter the homeless - My home is on the Battlefield and no matter how much I tried to give up that path it is calling me - My beloveds final wish for me to take up the sword and the family path was an honest look into my soul - My Shadila knew me better than I knew myself.

So Linda will become the new Head of the House though she does not know it yet - she is close to the 5th Circle - where Mylin was when atthe height of her power before her fall - she has the compasion and love for the Peopel and will lead the House well.

I spoke with Jozan to give him a kick up the rear he is a Priest of the 4th Circle and needs to realise he is a leader of men not a mewling journeyman priest any more - Torm has invested great power in him now he needs to make the power shown - he needs to step up and become a disciple.

I also believe Arthan should be a Dsiciple his zeal for the protection and safety of the House members cannot be underestimated - once he can learn to channel zeal into constructive plans he will be a fine Disciple and I hope to see this happen very soon.

As for me? I wish to take the fight to the Evil - I am not an administrator or a healer I am a battlefield cleric and I will take my Holy vows as a Paladin of Torm - my role in the House if any will be determined by the Disciples - I expect I will become an Accolyte or Guard perhaps asked to leave else everyone continue to look to me rather than the rightful leadership.

I have had some thoughts about Council and fighting the corruption there or perhaps founding an order of knights - I do not know what the future paths hold I only know I must be true to myself if I am to be true in my service and dedication to Torm.

[Chell's Journal lays untouched on his bedside table in the House of Light slowly gathering dust]

[The journal is recovered by Linda and given to Chell's Sister Danni who reads the journal and gives it back to Linda to be left on Chell's grave when he is laid to rest beside his wife in the Peaceful Caverns]