Most uncharacteristically, this note is sealed with plain black wax, smells faintly of pleasantly-scented mushrooms, and is written in such a way that would make it clear a professional scribe was commissioned to pen it

Agent Miller,

I enjoyed antagonizing you greatly. Men seem to believe it's those fellows who lie on their backs and do their every bidding that attract women. In my case, nothing could be farther from the truth.

It is rare that I find someone with the stones to openly display anger towards me, and in the position to see the threats they make through. I tend to have something of a calming effect on people - many become more tame in my presence, or at least respond to my inquiries and demands with the same respect I always give those I speak to.

When I said you remind me of my husband, I was both lying and speaking truth. Beronhard was known for his lack of aptitude for public speech, his wide girth, his love of chicken breast and thighs (to the point where he'd go from place to place with his pockets lined with chicken) and his wickedness when given the chance of deciding the fate of those lowlier than him. Our marriage was one of convenience. At first, he was my stepfather. When mother was slain (I leave to you to guess who did it!) I saw in him the chance to further my station in life. He was not known for his acute intelligence, but he possessed one, his greatest asset.

Beronhard may still be alive, but the circumstances of our parting were less than amiable. I believe that if I should ever find myself in his presence again, I will do my best to see that he is dispatched to the hells. This is to say, my marriage is in shambles, and though I swore oaths to matrimony, I believe they are null and void as is everything from the Surface World in this dark and terrible place.

I wish to invite you to dine with me, so we may clear the air that was fouled by my ego (as well as yours) and get to know each other better. I understand you are a busy man, but I promise this shall not lead you astray into a long and boring conversation, but present you with opportunities for the future, which you may find suitable to your abilities and desires.

I will make arrangements. I've heard that the Residential District has the best to offer in terms of food and drink, and I'll make sure a comfortable and secure place can be arranged.

Please respond with your interest, or lack thereof, so I know to spend my time preparing what will certainly be an enjoyable evening, or if I should look elsewhere to fulfill certain deep wishes of my heart.

Yours truly,

Iphraem

PS: A positive reply shall not be taken as a sign of any weakness, or grudging acceptance. Accept my invitation, and all that I'll learn from it is that you enjoy fine eating, and perhaps the warmth of a woman's embrace.