No screens, just logs. Enjoy!
ROUND ONE
[18:52:56] Cyrus Doors: Right. So that means Kein insults first. When he's finished, he says DONE. Then Xylt insults, likewise when he finishes, he says DONE. [18:53:11] Xylt The Blessed: Understood. [18:53:13] Kein Smilesong: *nods* [18:53:24] Cyrus Doors: Okay! START. [18:53:33] Kein Smilesong: *looks Xylt straight in the eye* [18:53:51] Kein Smilesong: What are ya doin' ya pork-bellied, pig-bladdered bobblehead! [18:54:02] Kein Smilesong: Eating your cud??!? [18:54:12] Kein Smilesong: *smiles, unnervingly* [18:54:15] Kein Smilesong: Done. [18:54:17] Xylt The Blessed: [the helmet looks back down at him] [18:55:02] Xylt The Blessed: Small words form a small person. [18:55:07] Xylt The Blessed: Done. [18:55:55] Cyrus Doors: *nods to Kein...* [18:55:59] Kein Smilesong: *smiles* [18:56:49] Xylt The Blessed: [looks down at the halfling] [18:56:54] Cyrus Doors: Well get on with it! [18:56:57] Kein Smilesong: Maybe you should just fall down.... Like your smart... [18:57:04] Kein Smilesong: *sighs* Done... [18:57:10] Cyrus Doors: *nods to Xylt* [18:57:19] Kein Smilesong: *holds his forehead* [18:57:56] Xylt The Blessed: You would know about this, being near the floor as thou are. [18:58:07] Xylt The Blessed: Done [18:58:11] Cyrus Doors: Okay! [18:58:15] Cyrus Doors: Judges, who is the victor? [18:58:52] Xylt The Blessed: [turns to judges] [18:59:37] Xylt The Blessed rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 12 + Modifier: 1 = 13 [18:59:37] Xylt The Blessed: Taunt Check, Roll: 12 + Modifier: 1 = 13 [19:00:06] Kein Smilesong: Taunt Check, Roll: 2 + Modifier: 3 = 5 [19:00:24] Alonzo: You both were so terribly awful, I nearly fainted. Still, my point goes to the halfling, for his outfit if nothing else. [19:00:53] Kein Smilesong: *nods knowingly* [19:00:55] Xumar: Xumar gives vote to Xylt, for speaking truth of half-man's silly size. [19:01:03] Xylt The Blessed: It is true. [19:01:21] Grulpo: Both are unworthy! But Grulpo's grudging point goes to KEIN. [19:01:29] Xylt The Blessed: Vermin... ! [19:01:42] Kein Smilesong: *sighs* [19:01:46] Grulpo: Who is vermin now, eh! *sticks out his tongue* [19:01:57] Cyrus Doors: Kein is the victor, then!
[19:02:15] Cyrus Doors: To your seats. [19:02:23] Cyrus Doors: *points to Koinus and Hadley* You two, up! [19:02:35] Hadley Marrapopo: Hadley Marrapopo, everyone. [19:02:43] Cyrus Doors: Yeah, yeah. Announce yourselves if you like! [19:02:55] Koinus Sten: I dont speak my name to people under me. [19:03:00] Cyrus Doors: Right. [19:03:17] Cyrus Doors: Hadley, call it! Heads or tails! [19:03:22] Hadley Marrapopo: Hah! Well, I'm ready. Tailes! [19:03:28] Cyrus Doors: Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [19:03:37] Cyrus Doors: Heads it is! [19:03:42] Cyrus Doors: The dwarf starts. GO. [19:03:51] Koinus Sten: With Her around I better Check my coin purse before I leave. [19:04:29] Koinus Sten: Done. [19:04:34] Cyrus Doors: *nods to Hadley* [19:04:35] Hadley Marrapopo: Why does this dwarf not remove his crown / is it because he can't hide his frown? / I think that he's sad he'll lose / Perhaps he'll later go drink his piss booze / It's a well known fact that he's a drunk / even worse then that hobgoblin Hrunk! [19:04:43] Hadley Marrapopo: Done! [19:04:49] Cyrus Doors: Har! [19:04:55] Cyrus Doors: *nods to Koinus* [19:05:03] Koinus Sten: Shouldnt you run home to your mother child? [19:05:10] Koinus Sten: Done. [19:05:42] Cyrus Doors: *nods to Hadley* [19:05:47] Hadley Marrapopo: This dwarf's so ugly that that say/ "My oh my! Let's run away" / Yet here I stand laughing in his face / because I've the courage to make a strong case / -- [19:05:58] Hadley Marrapopo: His head looks like a pimple covered puss blootered piece of rotten fungus! [19:05:59] Hadley Marrapopo: Done. [19:06:07] Hadley Marrapopo: Taunt Check, Roll: 11 + Modifier: 10 = 21 [19:06:15] Koinus Sten: *roll Taunt check* [19:06:15] Koinus Sten: Taunt Check, Roll: 9 + Modifier: 1 = 10 [19:06:23] Cyrus Doors: Hey-o! What say you, judges? [19:06:33] Alonzo: The halfling is adorable. My vote is for her. [19:06:47] Xumar: Xumar thinks Hadley is very clever, and dwarf very stupid! [19:06:51] Xumar: Xumar votes for her. [19:07:10] Grulpo: Hadley gets Grulpo's vote, and maybe big slobbery Grulpo kiss if keep being amusing! [19:07:19] Hadley Marrapopo: [Slight wince] [19:07:23] Hadley Marrapopo: Right-o! [19:07:28] Cyrus Doors: Moving on!
[19:02:15] Cyrus Doors: To your seats. [19:02:23] Cyrus Doors: *points to Koinus and Hadley* You two, up! [19:02:35] Hadley Marrapopo: Hadley Marrapopo, everyone. [19:02:43] Cyrus Doors: Yeah, yeah. Announce yourselves if you like! [19:02:55] Koinus Sten: I dont speak my name to people under me. [19:03:00] Cyrus Doors: Right. [19:03:17] Cyrus Doors: Hadley, call it! Heads or tails! [19:03:22] Hadley Marrapopo: Hah! Well, I'm ready. Tailes! [19:03:28] Cyrus Doors: Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [19:03:37] Cyrus Doors: Heads it is! [19:03:42] Cyrus Doors: The dwarf starts. GO. [19:03:51] Koinus Sten: With Her around I better Check my coin purse before I leave. [19:04:29] Koinus Sten: Done. [19:04:34] Cyrus Doors: *nods to Hadley* [19:04:35] Hadley Marrapopo: Why does this dwarf not remove his crown / is it because he can't hide his frown? / I think that he's sad he'll lose / Perhaps he'll later go drink his piss booze / It's a well known fact that he's a drunk / even worse then that hobgoblin Hrunk! [19:04:43] Hadley Marrapopo: Done! [19:04:49] Cyrus Doors: Har! [19:04:55] Cyrus Doors: *nods to Koinus* [19:05:03] Koinus Sten: Shouldnt you run home to your mother child? [19:05:10] Koinus Sten: Done. [19:05:42] Cyrus Doors: *nods to Hadley* [19:05:47] Hadley Marrapopo: This dwarf's so ugly that that say/ "My oh my! Let's run away" / Yet here I stand laughing in his face / because I've the courage to make a strong case / -- [19:05:58] Hadley Marrapopo: His head looks like a pimple covered puss blootered piece of rotten fungus! [19:05:59] Hadley Marrapopo: Done. [19:06:07] Hadley Marrapopo: Taunt Check, Roll: 11 + Modifier: 10 = 21 [19:06:15] Koinus Sten: *roll Taunt check* [19:06:15] Koinus Sten: Taunt Check, Roll: 9 + Modifier: 1 = 10 [19:06:23] Cyrus Doors: Hey-o! What say you, judges? [19:06:33] Alonzo: The halfling is adorable. My vote is for her. [19:06:47] Xumar: Xumar thinks Hadley is very clever, and dwarf very stupid! [19:06:51] Xumar: Xumar votes for her. [19:07:10] Grulpo: Hadley gets Grulpo's vote, and maybe big slobbery Grulpo kiss if keep being amusing! [19:07:19] Hadley Marrapopo: [Slight wince] [19:07:23] Hadley Marrapopo: Right-o! [19:07:28] Cyrus Doors: Moving on!
[19:07:43] Cyrus Doors: *points to Carl, and then Saul* Get in there, then, if you're competing! [19:07:44] Kein Smilesong: *shifts uncomfortably* [19:07:46] Carl McDougal: [Wheezes, slowly standing, you think you hear a creak of relief from the bench.] [19:07:52] Carl McDougal: [Waddles up.] [19:08:02] Cyrus Doors: Right. Lardass, call it. [19:08:14] Saul Strong: *smirks across to Carl* [19:08:16] Carl McDougal: Carl's callin' heads, halfpint. [19:08:21] Cyrus Doors: Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 2. [19:08:36] Cyrus Doors: *points to Saul* He gets it. Introduce yourselves if you like. [19:08:50] Saul Strong: Professor Solomon P. Strong. [19:08:57] Carl McDougal: Name's Carl here. [19:09:01] Carl McDougal: And it's Carl-obberin' time. [19:09:07] Cyrus Doors: Right. Professor, start! [19:09:46] Saul Strong: The only thing Carl would ever be caught Carl-obberin is the business end of a rothe meat pie. [19:09:50] Saul Strong: Done. [19:10:52] Xumar: [Frowns.] [19:10:59] Carl McDougal: Hah- Thought Carl'd give't rancid womb stretchin' orcspawn a chance- Looks like it ain't even needed. Got about as much wit's as Glorbor's go' shadow. [19:11:06] Carl McDougal: Done. [19:11:12] Cyrus Doors: *nods to Saul* [19:11:50] Saul Strong: Orc-spawn. I had wondered how long it would be before one thought to touch on that. Nevertheless, I would rather be half a man than be mistaken for -eating- one. [19:11:53] Saul Strong: Done. [19:12:35] Cyrus Doors: *looks keenly and expectantly to Karl* [19:12:52] Carl McDougal: Hah- Carl's more't man than what you could e'r dream't be you tusk-ed troglodyte hobgoblin' panty sniffer. [19:12:57] Carl McDougal: Done. [19:13:02] Cyrus Doors: Righto! [19:13:05] Cyrus Doors: Judges? [19:13:09] Carl McDougal rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 10 + Modifier: 13 = 23 [19:13:09] Carl McDougal: Taunt Check, Roll: 10 + Modifier: 13 = 23 [19:13:35] Alonzo: Hmm! A close one, this one. [19:13:54] Carl McDougal: [Nibbles on a piece of bacon, eyeing the judges expectantly.] [19:14:01] Alonzo: On the one hand, snide comments about weight. On the other, an excellent timbre and colorful collection of insulting words... [19:14:16] Alonzo: My vote is for Carl. [19:14:21] Carl McDougal: Shi' yeah! [19:14:29] Xumar: [Pounds his chest.] And mine! [19:14:45] Carl McDougal: Heh-ha. [Rubs his gut.] [19:15:17] Grulpo: *shakes his head* Grulpo likes the fat jokes. IS FUNNY. Will vote for Professor, but is not too sad Professor is losing because Grulpo gets to hear more fat jokes if Carl stay in! [19:15:33] Saul Strong: Very well. *smiles and offers a hand to Carl* My compliments on your wordplay sir. [19:15:35] Carl McDougal: [Wheezes a bit, cupping both of his chins momentarily.] [19:15:39] Carl McDougal: Heh-ha. [19:15:40] Cyrus Doors: Carl is the victor, it seems! [19:15:43] Carl McDougal: [Shakes it firmly.] [19:15:50] Cyrus Doors: You two! Get in there. [19:15:53] Saul Strong: *returns the shake with a smile* Best of luck.
[19:15:54] Seanan Feardorcha: *nods once* [19:16:11] Seanan Feardorcha: *nods politely to Helena* [19:16:12] Carl McDougal: [Waddles back to his bench in a manner comparable to a beached manatee struggling for the tide.] [19:16:17] Helena Akinos: [She nods] [19:16:21] Cyrus Doors: Maybe if you sat in the right damn place, straggler! [19:16:38] Cyrus Doors: Someone explain to him what the hell he should be doing, I don't have the time. [19:16:43] Cyrus Doors: Introduce yourselves! [19:16:52] Helena Akinos: My name is Helena. [19:17:00] Seanan Feardorcha: My given name is Seanan. [19:17:08] Seanan Feardorcha: *dips his head to the judges* [19:17:08] Cyrus Doors: Right. Why don't you call it, lady? [19:17:13] Helena Akinos: Very well. Heads. [19:17:35] Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [19:17:35] Cyrus Doors: Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [19:17:40] Cyrus Doors: Heads it is. Go, lady. [19:17:52] Helena Akinos: Right. Is there a reason you've a love of wearing such pale brown robes? [19:18:01] Helena Akinos: Or is it such a color so no one notices you wallowing in rothe shit? [19:18:01] Helena Akinos: Done. [19:18:06] Seanan Feardorcha: Bloodreaver your scythe is long and hard, is it a compensation for the body appendange you wished you carried? [19:18:09] Seanan Feardorcha: Done. [19:18:36] Helena Akinos: Given such a quick comeback, it would seem that you've droppings for brains too waiting to prepare such words. [19:18:37] Helena Akinos: Done. [19:19:03] Seanan Feardorcha: You never retreate, that is your claim. Perhaps you fear if you run once you will never find the courage to stand again? [19:19:06] Seanan Feardorcha: Done. [19:19:10] Cyrus Doors: Right. Judges! [19:19:14] Helena Akinos rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 5 + Modifier: 1 = 6 [19:19:14] Helena Akinos: *roll taunt check* [19:19:14] Helena Akinos: Taunt Check, Roll: 5 + Modifier: 1 = 6 [19:19:21] Seanan Feardorcha: /roll taunt check [19:19:57] Helena Akinos: Tis proper for you to shut up and stop bitching. [19:20:15] Alonzo: My vote is for the lady. She was right to admonish the man for his ridiculous robe. [19:20:26] Seanan Feardorcha rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 7 + Modifier: 0 = 7 [19:20:26] Seanan Feardorcha: *roll taunt check* [19:20:26] Seanan Feardorcha: Taunt Check, Roll: 7 + Modifier: 0 = 7 [19:20:36] Xumar: *nods* Xumar votes for lady also! [19:20:54] Grulpo: Grulpo liked joke about rigid-scythe-pole. Grulpo give vote to man. [19:21:10] Cyrus Doors: And the lady has it! [19:21:16] Seanan Feardorcha: *dips his head to her* [19:21:18] Cyrus Doors: To your seats. [19:21:23] Helena Akinos: I'm sure you realize I meant no true harm. [19:21:28] Cyrus Doors: You lot jumped the line. [19:21:32] Seanan Feardorcha: Of course. [19:21:34] Cyrus Doors: Dwarf, you competing?
[19:21:39] Narvil Decker: Yeah, sure. [19:21:53] Hancer Vargas: Is it my turn now? [19:21:53] Cyrus Doors: Get up there, silly-hat. [19:22:01] Hancer Vargas: Guess not. [19:22:02] Cyrus Doors: And you, Spellguard-stooge. [19:22:14] Cyrus Doors: Introduce yourselves! [19:22:23] Narvil Decker: Decker. [19:22:38] Bastiaan Vandermark: Arquebusier Captain Bastiaan Vandermark of the Sembian Guard, Lantanese detachment. [19:22:44] Narvil Decker: Ain't you pretty. [19:22:57] Bastiaan Vandermark: Stand up if you want to speak to me, knave. [19:23:06] Narvil Decker: I've seen thicker beards under a maiden's arm! [19:23:45] Cyrus Doors: Save it for the contest. Decker, call it. [19:23:53] Narvil Decker: Tails. [19:24:02] Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [19:24:03] Cyrus Doors: Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [19:24:14] Cyrus Doors: The arqu-whatsit gets it. GO. [19:24:20] Bastiaan Vandermark: Thank you, goodman. [19:24:38] Bastiaan Vandermark: You are a bootless fool-born scut. A mewling flap mouthed pumpion whose droning plume plucked canker-blossom has a rump-fed mammet. Doghearted Fool. [19:24:57] Bastiaan Vandermark: Done [19:25:02] Narvil Decker: Yer so fat you wake up in sections. Done. [19:25:29] Bastiaan Vandermark: Hmph. [19:25:37] Narvil Decker: Givin' up already? Gee. [19:25:47] Bastiaan Vandermark: You are a warped, bat-fowling horn-beast with an infectious clapper-clawed visage. You have a bawdy weather-bitten whey-face remembling a froward rough-hewn codpiece. [19:26:03] Bastiaan Vandermark: Done [19:26:10] Narvil Decker: Ain't that cute. Well, I oughta know that yer mother was twice the man that yer beard can ever boast! [19:26:13] Narvil Decker: Yeah, done. [19:26:31] Bastiaan Vandermark rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 20 + Modifier: 0 = 20 [19:26:31] Bastiaan Vandermark: *roll taunt check* [19:26:37] Bastiaan Vandermark: Taunt Check, Roll: 20 + Modifier: 0 = 20 [19:26:37] Narvil Decker rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 18 + Modifier: 0 = 18 [19:26:37] Narvil Decker: Taunt Check, Roll: 18 + Modifier: 0 = 18 [19:26:40] Cyrus Doors: Ho-ho. What do you have to say, judges? [19:27:04] Alonzo: My vote is for Captain Vandermark, indeed! [19:27:25] Xumar: Xumar votes for man in silly red armor, yes. [19:27:58] Grulpo: Grulpo gives vote to dwarf, grudgingly, even if is Spellguard... no. No! Grulpo gives vote to non-spellguard-dwarf! [19:28:15] Cyrus Doors: And there you have it! [19:28:17] Bastiaan Vandermark: *he waves to the crowd with a flourish, bowing* [19:28:23] Bastiaan Vandermark: Thank you! [19:28:24] Narvil Decker: Figgers the fairy would vote fer the pansy. [19:28:25] Cyrus Doors: Back to your seats.
[19:28:39] Cyrus Doors: Right. You three all competing? [19:28:51] Hancer Vargas: Yeah. [19:28:52] Zerathan Zen: I reckon. [19:28:54] Rhukt Dauchkt: I am... Ain't sure about that lot. [19:29:15] Cyrus Doors: Anyone else still waiting to compete? [19:29:42] Cyrus Doors: Right. A threeway, then, it seems. All you three go up there. [19:30:18] Zerathan Zen: [Hood and mask pulled back, revealing the face.] [19:30:21] Cyrus Doors: Each time you insult, you'll get a bit more time to insult each of the other two. Otherwise, it's the same. [19:30:33] Hancer Vargas: Hancer. [19:30:38] Cyrus Doors: We'll go with the elf, the human, and then the dwarf. [19:30:47] Rhukt Dauchkt: *Grimly* Rhukt. [19:30:48] Zerathan Zen: And I'm Sharps [19:31:02] Rhukt Dauchkt: *Growls* Not a -Dwarf-. [19:31:26] Zerathan Zen: Ye, dwarf, to say anything's equal to ye would be te insult it. [19:31:53] Cyrus Doors: Right. Elf, GO. [19:31:58] Zerathan Zen: And fer ye: There's a way te make a rothe the most beautiful creature in t'world, and that's to compare it to ye. [19:32:09] Zerathan Zen: Done. [19:32:29] Cyrus Doors: *nods to Hancer* [19:32:41] Hancer Vargas: *ahem* You call this a threeway, I call it a one and a halfway! You two can shuffle on home, no reason for you to stay! [19:32:59] Hancer Vargas: Now I dont know you, and you dont know me, but youre so ugly, goblins dont want you in their family! [19:33:05] Hancer Vargas: *to the elf* [19:33:18] Hancer Vargas: I dont think you can swing a sword, but from the way you speak you dont have to say anything to make people bored! [19:33:40] Hancer Vargas: Now if you ask me, this whole crowd's a little suspicious. There's nothing but guys in here, except for these bitches. [19:34:04] Hancer Vargas: Here. Look. Take a pencil. Why dont you go home, and wait till something good hits you. And while youre at it, take the other competitors with you! [19:34:05] Hancer Vargas: Done. [19:34:22] Rhukt Dauchkt: *Grimly* The only home you have is the broom cupboard for being a skinny assed rat... Heck I bet the drow paid some poor sod money to give a bonebag like you away. [19:35:28] Rhukt Dauchkt: And as for the elf there.... Next time get a impressive off something else but a kobold... Its embarassing. *Grimly* [19:35:35] Rhukt Dauchkt: impressive scar* [19:35:59] Rhukt Dauchkt: Done. [19:36:05] Zerathan Zen: [Turns to Hancer.]Any insult against a common man would be a compliment to you. [19:36:32] Zerathan Zen: [Grins and turns to Rhukt.] Ye call yerself Rhukt. Need I say more? [19:36:57] Zerathan Zen: Done [19:37:14] Rhukt Dauchkt: *Grunts* [19:37:21] Hancer Vargas: *waves his hands* *to the Rhukt* I dont need to go again, i've bloodied these guys enough. These ladies look like they can't take it rough. [19:37:25] Hancer Vargas: Done. [19:38:10] Rhukt Dauchkt: The elf forgot to mention that his mother is a rothe and his father smells like the ass end of a deep pig... [19:38:26] Rhukt Dauchkt: Done. [19:38:32] Cyrus Doors: Right! [19:38:35] Rhukt Dauchkt: *Grimly* [19:38:43] Rhukt Dauchkt: Taunt Check, Roll: 19 + Modifier: 4 = 23 [19:38:50] Zerathan Zen rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 14 + Modifier: 1 = 15 [19:38:50] Zerathan Zen: Taunt Check, Roll: 14 + Modifier: 1 = 15 [19:38:52] Hancer Vargas rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 16 + Modifier: 3 = 19 [19:38:52] Hancer Vargas: *roll taunt check* [19:38:58] Hancer Vargas: Taunt Check, Roll: 16 + Modifier: 3 = 19 [19:38:58] Hancer Vargas rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 9 + Modifier: 3 = 12 [19:38:58] Hancer Vargas: Taunt Check, Roll: 9 + Modifier: 3 = 12 [19:39:14] Alonzo: My vote is for the hooded gentleman. [19:39:31] Xumar: Xumar gives vote to man with hood also! [19:39:51] Grulpo: *nods in agreement* Rhukt funny at times, and elf silly to look at, but Vargas-man is the winner! [19:40:21] Cyrus Doors: All right! End of round one! *rings a bell* [19:40:22] Hancer Vargas: *nods and sits down* [19:40:29] Zerathan Zen: [Frowns.] [19:40:29] Rhukt Dauchkt: *Snorts*
ROUND TWO
[19:40:33] Cyrus Doors: Everyone who won the first round, sit in this corner over here. [19:40:41] Cyrus Doors: Right next to Kein here. [19:40:47] Cyrus Doors: Everyone else, on the other side! [19:41:11] Cyrus Doors: All right! [19:41:28] Cyrus Doors: Next up, Carl and Helena! [19:41:57] Carl McDougal: [Wheezes, slowly waddling up.] [19:42:53] Cyrus Doors: Call it, Helena! [19:42:56] Helena Akinos: Heads. [19:42:59] Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [19:42:59] Cyrus Doors: Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [19:43:08] Cyrus Doors: All right. Go ahead, Helena! [19:43:12] Helena Akinos: Carl, you've the body to take out a hive of beholders. [19:43:28] Helena Akinos: Unfortunantly, it would be done by them falling ill to devouring the poisonous lard that fills your gut. [19:43:29] Helena Akinos: Done. [19:44:22] Carl McDougal: [Squints at Helena.] Y'know Carl was thinkin' you ain't so bad, bu' once he got a whiff of wha' was down b'low I'd rather take m'chances wi't rusty snatch've a legless, pimpled gibberling. [19:44:53] Carl McDougal: Done. [19:45:25] Helena Akinos: Was your head balded by banging it against a door to open it? Because it would show in such stupidity in your speech through the cracked pieces of skull that are no doubt lodged in your brain. [19:45:30] Helena Akinos: Done. [19:46:33] Carl McDougal: Shi', Carl though' this was an insul', not ye' another pointless exercise've some lackwi' woman battin' hers tongue aroun' like some drunken viper. Bes' keep your mouth for things what'd be more suitable. [19:46:35] Carl McDougal: Done. [19:46:47] Cyrus Doors: All right! [19:46:49] Helena Akinos: *roll taunt check* [19:46:49] Helena Akinos: Taunt Check, Roll: 3 + Modifier: 1 = 4 [19:46:52] Carl McDougal rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 13 + Modifier: 13 = 26 [19:46:52] Carl McDougal: Taunt Check, Roll: 13 + Modifier: 13 = 26 [19:47:18] Alonzo: The large man is vulgar, but skilled. I give my vote to Carl. [19:47:26] Carl McDougal: Heh-ha. [19:47:39] Xumar: Xumar thinks the lady was the best! [19:47:56] Grulpo: *thoughtfully scratches a tuft of goblin-hair on his chin* [19:48:04] Carl McDougal: [Wheezes, shoving pie into his mouth.] [19:48:13] Grulpo: Grulpo give vote to Carl. [19:48:16] Carl McDougal: Shi' yeah! [19:48:27] Helena Akinos: Oh, well done, Carl. [19:48:27] Carl McDougal: [Chuckles.] [19:48:34] Carl McDougal: Play wi' Carl'n you ge' BURNED. [19:48:34] Cyrus Doors: Not bad, not bad! [19:48:56] Carl McDougal: [Huffs and mops sweat from his brow, yet again commencing his fleshy seige of the bench.]
[19:48:56] Cyrus Doors: Next up! Kein and Bastiaan! [19:49:03] Kein Smilesong: *stands up* [19:50:14] Bastiaan Vandermark: By your leave, goodman. *he nods to Cyrus* [19:50:23] Cyrus Doors: Right. Call it, Kein! [19:50:35] Kein Smilesong: Tails. [19:50:41] Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [19:50:41] Cyrus Doors: Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [19:50:54] Cyrus Doors: All yours, Bastiaan. [19:51:16] Bastiaan Vandermark: *he clears his throat, fist over his mouth* [19:51:41] Bastiaan Vandermark: Your infectious unchin-snouted flap-dragon has itself an tiny unchin-snouted apple-john! Frothy milk-livered goblin! [19:52:22] Bastiaan Vandermark: Done [19:52:40] Kein Smilesong: Oh Mr., in the armor. What if I told ya that I was havin trouble pullin my own weight? Would you take my load, and would I feed you grain? Or would you do all of my manual labor? Do you have horns? Maybe I should just put a harness on ya' and call you my own pet Ox. [19:52:58] Kein Smilesong: Done. [19:53:18] Bastiaan Vandermark: Mammering half-faced vassal, Yeasty spawn of an onion-eyed coxcomb! Impertinent spur-galled flirt-gill! Paunchy rum-fed bum-bailey! [19:53:34] Bastiaan Vandermark: Done [19:53:49] Kein Smilesong: So would you eat me? You seem to think I am some sort of Oxen food. [19:54:08] Kein Smilesong: Is your brain so small, that I must try to comprehend? Done. [19:54:11] Bastiaan Vandermark rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 13 + Modifier: 0 = 13 [19:54:11] Bastiaan Vandermark: *roll taunt check* [19:54:11] Bastiaan Vandermark: Taunt Check, Roll: 13 + Modifier: 0 = 13 [19:54:20] Kein Smilesong rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 11 + Modifier: 3 = 14 [19:54:20] Cyrus Doors: Right! [19:54:21] Kein Smilesong: Taunt Check, Roll: 11 + Modifier: 3 = 14 [19:54:32] Alonzo: My vote goes to the eloquent man in red! [19:54:38] Kein Smilesong: *turns to the judges* [19:55:05] Xumar: *holds his head* Strange man in red confuse Xumar so much! Is words meaning ANYTHING?! [19:55:26] Kein Smilesong: *tilts his head* [19:55:26] Xumar: Xumar votes for halfling, because Xumar understands what he is saying! Calling him oxe. *nods* [19:55:59] Bastiaan Vandermark: *appears very pleased with himself* [19:56:15] Grulpo: Grulpo gives vote to Bastiaan also. Grulpo knows what -every- word meant. [19:56:16] Grulpo: *nods empthatically* [19:56:35] Bastiaan Vandermark: Ah Hah! *he bows once again with a flourish* [19:56:38] Kein Smilesong: *sighs* Oh well.. No hard feeling eh, Bastian? [19:56:47] Cyrus Doors: Spoken like a true poet. *with a nod to the goblin* Right. That makes Bastiaan the victor. [19:56:47] Cyrus Doors: Moving on. [19:56:49] Bastiaan Vandermark: None whatsoever, giglet
[19:57:03] Cyrus Doors: *points to Hancer and Hadley* You two, up there! [19:57:04] Hadley Marrapopo: Well mysterious man. [19:57:31] Cyrus Doors: Hadley, call it. [19:57:40] Hadley Marrapopo: Heads [19:57:44] Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [19:57:44] Cyrus Doors: Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [19:57:53] Cyrus Doors: Heads it is. GO. [19:57:58] Hadley Marrapopo: [Grows very quiet for a moment] [19:58:09] Hadley Marrapopo: Dis this fellow ever tell the tale of he escaped slavery? [19:58:12] Hadley Marrapopo: No? [19:58:24] Hadley Marrapopo: Well, I have this in the strictest of confidence. [19:58:29] Hadley Marrapopo: He was a rotten fink! [19:58:42] Hadley Marrapopo: That's how he escaped! They let him go because he ratted out other slaves! [19:59:04] Hadley Marrapopo: Now that's just rottener then a rancid piece of moldy cheest that's gotten petrofied by a beholder and shat upon by a rothe. [19:59:06] Hadley Marrapopo: Done! [19:59:14] Hadley Marrapopo: [Shakes her head sadly] [19:59:36] Hancer Vargas: *coughs* Ahem. You dont want me to get angry! You wont like me when I'm angry! I'll smack you in the head, nick your belt, and show the world your dirty panties! [20:00:05] Hancer Vargas: You're laughable. Pathetic. Everytime you insult nobody gets it. Your baby chute reeks so bad gigolos wont take money to touch it. [20:00:19] Hancer Vargas: Why dont you pack up your things, and run home to mommy? You couldnt win an insult battle with a comedy army. [20:00:21] Hancer Vargas: Done. [20:00:35] Hadley Marrapopo: Well, at the least I ain't a fink, feller. That's just terrible. Can't believe you did not even deny it. Do you know what that makes you? [20:00:39] Hadley Marrapopo: [Looks about] [20:00:44] Hancer Vargas: About to win this match. [20:00:51] Hancer Vargas: *coughs* [20:01:07] Hadley Marrapopo: It makes him a FINK! [20:01:08] Hadley Marrapopo: Done. [20:01:27] Hancer Vargas: *shakes his head with a small smile no* [20:01:40] Hancer Vargas: *roll taunt check* [20:01:40] Hancer Vargas: Taunt Check, Roll: 19 + Modifier: 3 = 22 [20:01:55] Cyrus Doors: *strokes his cheek* [20:01:55] Hadley Marrapopo rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 20 + Modifier: 10 = 30 [20:01:55] Hadley Marrapopo: Taunt Check, Roll: 20 + Modifier: 10 = 30 [20:02:18] Cyrus Doors: You still have a go, don't you, fella? [20:02:27] Hancer Vargas: Well alright. [20:02:30] Hadley Marrapopo: He talked out of turn! Forfeit. [20:02:30] Hancer Vargas: Since you say so. [20:02:48] Hancer Vargas: Oh look! Youre trying, and thats nice and all. [20:02:59] Hancer Vargas: But my insults have already decided your fall. [20:03:09] Hancer Vargas: You can come back and try a riposte aftermath, but when my insults hit you its a literal bloodbath! [20:03:16] Heltec has left as a player.. [20:03:24] Hancer Vargas: This is the *crone* you can't bring that weak hand! Your insults reek, take your ass back to the Last Stand! [20:03:33] Hancer Vargas: Done./ [20:03:38] Cyrus Doors: *nods* Right. [20:03:56] Alonzo: The gentleman was the clear victor. [20:04:28] Xumar: Man speak in many rhymes, but... is insult contest! Being a fink is big insult, yes! Xumar gives vote to halfling lady. [20:04:44] Grulpo: Hmmmmhmmmhmhmmmm. [20:04:54] Grulpo: *looks very pensive, and is slowly scratching his thigh, staring at both* [20:05:07] Grulpo: *licks his lips* [20:05:31] Grulpo: Is very, very hard decision Grulpo must be making. [20:06:37] Grulpo: Grulpo is giving vote to man. Is saying funny rhymes. But will be sad is not slobber-kissing halfling girl! [20:06:47] Hancer Vargas: *winces* [20:06:52] Hancer Vargas: I'm sad too. [20:06:56] Hadley Marrapopo: Ahhh heck.
ROUND THREE
[20:07:18] Cyrus Doors: Right. Time for the finalists! [20:07:34] Cyrus Doors: Carl, you and hooded man! [20:07:50] Carl McDougal: [Grunts, standing with effort.] [20:07:52] Cyrus Doors: Oh, wait. [20:07:58] Cyrus Doors: Hang on [20:08:06] Cyrus Doors: Bastiaan, you're messing my system up! [20:08:06] Hancer Vargas: *shrugs* [20:08:16] Bastiaan Vandermark: The seats were taken [20:08:22] Cyrus Doors: I'm losing my patience. [20:08:23] Hancer Vargas: I think ill sit and let him have his go. [20:08:28] Cyrus Doors: EVERYONE WHO AIN'T A WINNER GO SIT WITH THE OTHERS [20:08:42] Cyrus Doors: And if you ARE a winner, sit where you're supposed to [20:08:45] Carl McDougal: [Wheezes, crushing some bacon over a piece of pie and shoving it in his mouth.] [20:08:56] Cyrus Doors: Dwarf! Get on the other side! [20:09:45] Carl McDougal: [Wheezes.] Who's comin' up't Carl, then? [20:09:48] Cyrus Doors: Bastiaan. Get up here. [20:09:49] Hancer Vargas: [Whisper] aint it your turn buddy? [20:09:55] Carl McDougal: Heh-ha. [20:10:07] Cyrus Doors: Bastiaan goes first. GO. [20:10:27] Bastiaan Vandermark: *once again clears his throat* [20:10:38] Bastiaan Vandermark: *looks Carl straight in the eye* [20:11:09] Bastiaan Vandermark: Squalling half-faced Orc, the chasm beneath your nose is a pottle-deep death-token! Currish, Idle-headed foot-licker! Spawn of a Knotty-bottomed strumpet flax-wench! [20:11:56] Bastiaan Vandermark: Ah, Done. Apologies. [20:11:59] Carl McDougal: Hah! Them word's gettin' stale, an' so's tha' beard. Carl's seen finer hair hangin' off've a kobold snatch. Anyways- Them fancy words is startin't stink worse'n a four days dead Luskan dockwhore. [20:12:18] Carl McDougal: Done. [20:13:11] Bastiaan Vandermark: Oafish ill-nurtured lewdster. You are a beslubbering fly-bitten clotpole. A Pribbling swag-bellied fustilarian, spawn of an ill-bred pigeon egg. A vain crook-pated hugger-mugger! [20:13:32] Bastiaan Vandermark: Done [20:13:38] Bastiaan Vandermark: *he nods politely to Cyrus and the judges* [20:14:25] Carl McDougal: Where you get them insults anyways? T' boardin' school for little miss Cormyrs? Carl though' this was a righ' old insult-off no' some air spewin' vocabular-atin' wretch off. Tha' bein' said I's had better competition havin' whore's pay me! [20:14:39] Carl McDougal: Done. [20:14:57] Bastiaan Vandermark: Would that have been your mother? *aside* [20:15:11] Cyrus Doors: Right! [20:15:26] Carl McDougal: Hah- b'lieve i' or not, there's a reason' you's got such a portly frame'n handsome face. [20:15:29] Alonzo: Carl is so terribly crude. My vote goes to Bastiaan. [20:15:49] Xumar: The red man's words are still so confusing to Xumar! Xumar gives his vote to Carl. [20:16:04] Carl McDougal: Shi' yeah. [20:16:06] Grulpo: Grulpo votes CARL. [20:16:24] Carl McDougal: Shi' yeah!
[20:16:32] Cyrus Doors: Right! And now we get the finalists! [20:16:32] Bastiaan Vandermark: The day is yours. Congratulations. *he nods aside* [20:16:32] Carl McDougal: Ah- shit. [20:16:38] Carl McDougal: [Grunts.] [20:16:48] Carl McDougal: Skinny'n I, 'en? [20:16:50] Cyrus Doors: For the grand prize, both of you get up here! [20:17:20] Cyrus Doors: Carl, call it. [20:17:22] Carl McDougal: [Puffs and wheezes, shoving pie into his mouth.] [20:17:28] Carl McDougal: I'll le' skinny have his rhyme. [20:17:44] Hancer Vargas: Me, him, me, him? I'm fine with that. [20:17:47] Cyrus Doors: Heads or tails? [20:17:55] Carl McDougal: Tails. [20:17:58] Carl McDougal: I doesn't care. [20:18:00] Cyrus Doors: Cyrus Doors rolled 1d2 and got 1. [20:18:08] Cyrus Doors: Go ahead, slim. [20:18:08] Hancer Vargas: Alrighty then. [20:18:48] Hancer Vargas: *ahem* I heard there was an insult contest, not a battle of worst dressed! His insults are so weak, they're saggier than his chest! *to carl* [20:19:09] Hancer Vargas: You need less pie and more description! Aside from being a lardass, orc stupidity is your affliction! [20:19:24] Hancer Vargas: I hear him speak, *to the crowd* but I dont hear you laugh. [20:19:42] Hancer Vargas: Speaking of laugh, you should have heard the whores when he showed them his staff! [20:19:48] Hancer Vargas: Done. [20:19:54] Carl McDougal: Hah- Tha' all you's got? Carl's gonna put you away like a fresh pie. Speakin've tha' Carl ain't no slouch, once this'n match's done you's gonna be saggin' worse'n Carl's last couch! [20:20:36] Carl McDougal: Anyways, yer rhymes migh' be clever, bu' Carl ain't even good wi' 'em'n his is clearly better. [20:20:37] Carl McDougal: Done. [20:21:39] Hancer Vargas: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was a battle. You're so horrificly fat, horseman can't fit you for a saddle! [20:21:40] Carl McDougal: [Idly shoves some bacon into his maw.] [20:22:05] Hancer Vargas: Your insults are weak, you're a verbal kobold. [20:22:16] Hancer Vargas: And damn if that stink isn't the combination of pathetic and old! [20:22:33] Hancer Vargas: You came in here thinking that you're something awesome! But your insults are so putrid it smells like rothe dung blossom! [20:22:44] Hancer Vargas: So come on, dont cry, its just a contest, and you fat bastard you found out I'm the best! [20:23:00] Hancer Vargas: You can't touch my insults they come way too fast. This is a two man race and you just came in last. [20:23:01] Hancer Vargas: Done. [20:23:16] Carl McDougal: Harh- Saddle you says, funny you should say tha', 'cause't only one bein' ridden here's you. They's fit one for you jus' fine. Speakin've tha' it's gettin' down't time an' Carl's thinkin' tha' all've you rhymes is jus'- [20:24:25] Carl McDougal: Wastin' everyone's time- Ah shit. Now I's doin' it. Goddamn that's irritatin'. Anyway. You gonna vote for Carl or this wretched, thrice cursed orc cunted, arse lickin', spellguard lovin', pimple faced, trog kissin' FINK?! [20:24:37] Carl McDougal: Done. [20:24:53] Cyrus Doors: Huh! [20:24:53] Hancer Vargas: *roll taunt check* [20:24:53] Hancer Vargas: Taunt Check, Roll: 7 + Modifier: 3 = 10 [20:24:54] Cyrus Doors: Both were pretty darn good, I gotta say. [20:24:58] Carl McDougal rolls Taunt Check, Roll: 2 + Modifier: 13 = 15 [20:24:58] Carl McDougal: Taunt Check, Roll: 2 + Modifier: 13 = 15 [20:25:14] Cyrus Doors: Before we go further, I want to hear what the audience has to say. [20:25:14] Carl McDougal: [Exhales slowly.] She-it. [20:25:24] Cyrus Doors: Everyone who is for CARL clap now! [20:25:26] Seifer Crescentmoon: [Smiles at Figgy.] [20:25:29] Bastiaan Vandermark: *claps* [20:25:35] Figgy: *claps* [20:25:35] Hadley Marrapopo: [Claps] [20:25:40] Frem Fricken: *claps* [20:25:40] Helena Akinos: [She claps] [20:25:49] Cyrus Doors: Everyone who is for SLIM clap now! [20:25:56] Figgy: *claps* [20:25:56] Drin: *claps for slim* [20:25:56] Kein Smilesong: *claps* [20:25:56] Seifer Crescentmoon: [claps] [20:25:56] Carl McDougal: Heh-ha. [20:26:05] Carl McDougal: [Claps the guy on the back rather roughly.] [20:26:16] Hancer Vargas: *stumbles forward* [20:26:37] Cyrus Doors: Righto! [20:26:44] Hancer Vargas: Judges have no say in this? [20:26:49] Carl McDougal: Shi' yeah. [Raises Vargas' hand with his and hollers loudly, his jowls quivering.] [20:26:55] Alonzo: We've got all the say in the world, sir. [20:27:01] Hancer Vargas: Woah *almost loses balance* [20:27:08] Alonzo: And my vote goes for you, the gentleman with the hood. [20:27:17] Alonzo: *nods* [20:27:32] Xumar: Xumar is greatly conflicted! [20:27:48] Xumar: Very close, very close indeed! [20:27:50] Carl McDougal: [Holds out a piece of bacon surrepticously, waving it at Xumar.] [20:28:04] Xumar: *eyes the bacon* Xumar gives point to Carl. [20:28:10] Carl McDougal: Shi' yeah! [20:28:21] Grulpo: HmmmmhmmHmmm! [20:28:45] Grulpo: Is needing one last thing, before can decide, and make BIG CHAMPION of one or other. [20:28:52] Carl McDougal: [Wheezes a bit.] [20:29:00] Grulpo: Each, say one NICE thing about Grulpo! [20:29:08] Carl McDougal: Hah! [20:29:24] Cyrus Doors: *shrugs* I'll allow it. Grulpo is the master, after all. [20:29:27] Carl McDougal: Everthin' Carl's learned he ain't done on his own- shi' no. I's but a humble studen' in't school've GRULPO! [20:30:12] Hancer Vargas: I dare say Grulpo, you have the composure and diction of Halaster, and the grace and kindness of a sage ruler. Your personal musk reminds one of stalwart warriors, and I heard the ladies line up to meet your bed. [20:30:28] Grulpo: *nods slowly* [20:30:36] Grulpo: Both is pretty good. But Grulpo gives vote to.... [20:30:45] Grulpo: *licks his lips, savoring the suspense* [20:30:50] Grulpo: CARL