TL;DR at bottom
After some thought and discussion with the other members of the dm crew i have permanently retired from the dm client. Although I enjoyed working with some of you on things by and large it was a drag and just not something i was getting a lot of joy out of. In fact I grew to be aggravated by it.
I apologize if this comes as an interruption in some of your plans but trust me there are enough motivated individuals on the other side of the fence (where the grass is not necessarily greener) to make your WILDEST DREAMS COME TRUE not unlike a certain US messianic presidential candidate.
I enjoyed playing a hell of a lot more than dming. There is a certain personality requirement DM'ing well, requires for lack of a better word, for you to be able to do it for long spans of time. I think its patience. I dont know. Whatever it is they have it; i dont. I tried it, i went away, i tried, went away, tried etc and it just got to be too much. I can't code. I can't script. When I open the toolset my head hurts if i'm not using a wizard. If I had my way I would break the magic level of this server and turn it into a vorpal holy sword free for all. But I digress:
Being a DM may be something you aspire to, but you have to realize furthering a story or making something happen is only a part of it and a minority part at best. These guys spend a lot of time working on things you will never see or interact with to make the EFU experience a whole lot smoother. The scripts and programs involved are highly complex and I couldnt begin to describe or fathom them. Hosting fees, efusql, efuqs, this database, that chatlog, people cyb0ring (ok that parts always funny but still), who wants this, who wants that, i have no idea what the plotline is theres no thread on it holy crap ill wing it oh i did it wrong. And thats not all of it you people have no idea what its like over there and whats coming down the pike. Its frustrating for a simplistic southern conservative lawyer mind. Give me beer, baseball, and taunt-power attack. Give me a plot hook, give me enemies, friends, and lots of chances to throw in an inappropriate real life reference for humor. Give me an emote so long, overworded, and overcomplicated Kiaring has to put down her hash pipe and squint to say, literally, "WTF mate"
when logging in as a dm becomes "oh god what do the little bastards want now" instead of "what fun can i wreak today" its time to hang it up. im not a parent or babysitter for the pcs. i may never be a parent or babysitter. i dont want to be one now. However, I will find time to play because when i play i dont have to deal with perpetually pissing gnomes or questions i couldnt possibly come up with an answer for. I run quests, gather loot, develop relationships, plot and scheme, shoot the shit, or engage in long OOC tells with magister about chicks, life in general, or my law practice while hacking through all the lvl 3-7 quests we call "the XP train."
With that being said I'm going back to work I have to meet with FBI and ATF agents tomorrow and they hate my client (who decided after being found guilty on 3 counts with a max sentence of 20 years hey its time for me to tell all! I couldnt have done this months and months ago and maybe gotten probation or a very minimal sentence with time served oh no that would make effing sense) with the heat of a thousand fiery suns and they think he's basically full of shinola, not unlike a certain messianic US presidential candidate, which he is, like said candidate.
TL;DR - im never gonna dm again, dming sux dont ask to be one, i will pc, i will kill you, my next char will probably result in dozens of pc and hundreds of NPC deaths. Also LOL, OBAMA. Just remember brother love loves you
