Most Esteemed Council of Sanctuary,

I am Eldellin Starspark, Gladiator of Couincillor Redd and lover of fine literature. I am wondering if the position of Librarian has been filled as of the moment, as I have dreams of running a library one day. I would be glad to go through all the passages of hiring, maintaining, and advertising for new books, and I have a good five hundred more years of my life left, ensuring I will be keeping it in good order long after even your skeletons have rotted away.

Yours sincerely, Eldellin Starspark.

An identical letter is sent.

I don't like you presuming what my skeleton will or will not do. Nina

[To the astonishment of the Office of the Herald, she does not toss the letter down a garbage shaft.]