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How to Appeaase lag

You give this Prayer:

"Oh mighty lag, the weaver of fates, slayer of players, I beseech thee, hold back your powers this dark. We are mere mortals, insignificant before your magnificence we always tremble in awe and fear of your power...

So I beseech thee, lord of lag, The Player Killer, the Black Wind of death, Stay your hand, for another dark.

Amen."

:?

Skipping highschool to go protest against the government in 1990s Serbia is one of my fonder memories.

By university I took it to the next level by joining Otpor (The Resistance) a pro-democracy student organization (to meet chicks). Canvasing, protesting, carrying flags, getting beat up by police, all that jazz.

We had these propaganda stickers that we used to place over governing party's election posters which ended up covering 90% of every surface in my city. They were pretty cool as they would stick anywhere, and I had a habbit of carrying 50 of those with me everywhere I went, distributing democracy one wall at a time.

One thing you had to watch out for while doing it were the cops. If they caught you posting anti-government propaganda they'd bring you in on a bullshit excuse and more often than not rough you up a bit. In other cities there were much more serious cases where students from my organization ended up with broken bones after run ins with the cops. The bottom line is, they weren't "just doing their job", and we didn't like them much.

So there I was, one fine winter morning, waiting for a bus and trying to line up a sticker nicely on a bus stop, when I noticed a big blue figure come up next to me. I froze. Glancing to my right, I saw a huge angry looking cop standing next to me. He looked like he didn't have his morning coffee yet, and hadn't noticed the sticker that was still in my hand. I needed to get rid of it, fast!

At the moment like that, when a politically motivated beating is staring you into the eyes, lots of things go trough your head. I guess a good measure of sanity is whether, at that moment, you decide to take the whole situation one step further and put that sticker on the cop's back. Clearly, I was not sane back then.

The reason I didn't end up with multiple fractures was that the cop was wearing a thick winter coat. The white sticker was nicely visible accross his blue back, spreading cheer and democracy around like a grumpy mustachioed human billboard. Then I thought about the reaction he'll get when he walks into the police station with that thing on his back, and I decided it's nice enough day to walk to school, before I start laughing out loud.

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