Pages

I don't have a book. This place is dark, cold. I am alone. Where did I even find these pages? or the Ink? Gone. I don't regret what I did, now. Killing myself was the right thing to do - it made everything right again.

Now I am alone. There is no one here for me to hurt.

But I miss Sev. I miss Drin. And I miss Blue.

Will i ever see them again? Can I? Will I? I don't know.

Torn

I found safety in this loneliness, but I cannot stand it anymore. I want to leave this place, but I cannot.

The bitter scraps I have to eat - the cold dark air, shivering as I sleep.

I cannot stand it.

This all happened because of Mebrith. I hate her. Because of her I hurt Sev. Almost killed her. It is her fault I killed myself. If I ever see her again, I will make sure she does the same

[the pages are bound into a book as best she can, before the pages of this book begin]

Dead

I have died. Killed myself.

No, Rabbit died. She killed herself. She is gone now - I am what remains.

It is my life now - Not rabbit's.

But I will fufill her last wish, the one she was too weak to.

Revenge.

[drops and spatters of blood litter this page]

Failure

Why? Why am I failing? When rabbit was Alive, she hardly lost. But she's dead - her weakness gone. I should be much stronger, much better fighter without her weakness to stop me, shouldn't I?

But I'm losing. I foughti n a tournament today - The onle one iwas able to Beat was Sev. But she was never good at fighting with a sword.

Even worse - I saw mebrith. I had her down - I was about to kill her - But Sev Stopped me. She beat me.

I don't understand.... Why am I losing?

Feelings

Why can't I feel anything anymore? Happiness, friendship, Love. Everything that made me rabbit, It's gone. It never came back when they brought me back. Part of me is still dead, and I don't know If I can be fixed.

Rabbit is still dead, even though I came back. I'm just a shadow of what she was, the only thing I can truly feel, is her hate.

I am Shade.

Exile

I can't go back. I'm being pushed further and further away from the people that can help. It's so boring down here. I can't do any of the things Rabbit used to do...

Murder

Shouldn't have said anything. Now the idiots Sten and Mieredo are after me because I stopped people from killing me.

Brinson listened at least. He said he'd try to sort it out.

Talked to dederich about it, I will talk to Drin when i see him,. He knows I'm alive now. At least - he should.

Weapons

These weapons... They don't feel right anymore. Father's sword... It's different. I don't feel pride anymore when I use the same weapon as he did.

Pain

Its a dumb name, but he makes a lot of sense. He told me That the next time I fight, I should not fight back. That if Instead of fighting them, I fight back the anger and need to attack them. He said maybe then i could feel something other than hate. It sort of makes sense. But Mebrith wouldn't hit me, when I had no weapons out...

Why?

[the entire page is stained with tears, making it almost unreadable] This all happened So I could protect her.

Today I felt again for the first time. They both did keep their promises, They helped me. I just wish it could've happened differently..

Sev is dead, Rat-Hin told me. For the first time since rabbit died, I felt something other than hate... I felt sadness. I fell to my knees.. I cried.

She said she'd help me feel again.. But what good does it do now that she's never coming back?

But I feel something.. again. It's a start at least. Rabbit may have been gone - But She was still my mother.

We'll never get to swap books again, read each other's thoughts, But I Hope you can forgive me Sev. Please, Forgive me.

I Still love you.

Feelings

I need to stop hiding my feelings. For all I know, trying to protect Sev got her killed. I need to stop lying, and I need to tell those that I still have, before I lose them too.

Starting with drin.

Killing

Some purple haired bastard killed dag.. He ran to upper to hide... Now he's hiding behind thorn.

He thinks I won't touch him because it will kill me, when his boss finds out. What he doesn't understand, is I don't care. I have already died twice. The first time, I did it myself. The second time, I was killed by Sev.

I don't even care if I get brought back. Maybe If I die doing something for the right reason - it can make up for what i've done lately...

Hollow

Mebrith is dead too.. I'm slowly losing everything I once cared about.. Mebrith was trying to help, until I drove them both away. I don't have anything left..

Stranger

It's funny, I don't even remember his name, But he made me feel a lot better.. He told me about Mebrith's death.. I should hate him, Normally I would.. But there's something about him. I'm not sure what. I don't even know his name, But I told him everything. Showed him everything. My past, my stories.. And he showed me his.

It's strange, how a complete stranger, Could feel so familiar.. so.. dependable. I felt safe, talking to him. Maybe it was being in upper, but I' not sure.

Pain

Pain's advice has helped alot.. I was happy to see him again, to tell him how much he helped me. He's so different from allthe other humans, Maybe thats why his advice makes so much sense..

I should find him more.. see how else he can help me..