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[Research log - Agent Miller]

Marpenoth 17

Materials: Rothe, sporebread

Creator: The talented Captain Maiev Gray.

Quality: Eight out of Ten. A wonderful creation, sporebread fresh and delicious, rothe still warm. Only marred by lack of condiment.

I have not yet engaged in carnal relations with her, much to my disappointment.

Marpenoth 27

Materials: Sporebread, condiment (?), some kind of pork

Creator: That Bitch Helsh

Quality: ZERO out of Ten. The single worst sandwich I have ever eaten IN MY LIFE. I should strangle her for such incompetence. Uncle was too polite to say such, but he displayed his disgust adequately.

Didn't her mother teach her anything?

I simply must have my beautiful Calendra make me one soon. From there, who knows what might happen..?

Marpenoth 29

Spell: Geas?

Caster: A Chosen, Bonehewer.

Effect: Must accomplish a particular task, or I will die within 2 (two) weeks. Unable to express what this task actually is! Very strange. That Bitch Helsh is going to help me to get the hell out of this, since she's gotten me into it.

Ugh.

Uktar 8

Materials: Rothe, sporebread, cheese

Creator: "Sammie Wilkino"

Quality: Seven out of ten. No condiment, I have no idea who combines cheese with a meat like rothe!

After the debacles with Whitewell and Helsh, and Blake's general incompetence, I don't think I'll be granting another idiot woman my reccommendation, unless she can prove without doubt that she is as good as a man.

Things are looking good for me in the Order. I have recovered the artifact, at the expense of more than a few others. I believe I may be in line for a promotion, if I keep this up.

Uktar 15

Fantastic! Opalshore is dead, Helsh is [something is scratched out] missing in action, Whitewell is out, Petrov is ... somewhere? Presumably dead. All of my rivals for promotion are gone. I will make quite the Officer! (Operative? Details, details.)

I have done much. Recovered the [scribbled out], captured a rather powerful animatron, captured, and later obtained the corpse of, a drow (soon to be drow gloves!), and soon I will capture and murder [scribbled out] and D[scribbled out]. I will also, of course, need that bitch Thorn to die. A true Thorn in my side.

No sandwiches of late, females are scarce. With luck, they will continue to be so!

For all of her feminine failings, perhaps when I am a strapping young Officer, the beautiful Madam Theron will only have eyes for me...

WORST SANDWICH!!!!!

WHAT?!?!?

WHY DOES IT EXPLODE??!?!!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

WHY ALWAYS ME?!

Current Tasks

-- Animatron Watcher/construction/collection of parts/proof (Bowels?)

-- Greenhouse construction/funding

-- Lab parts

-- Unseelie

-- Recruitment

-- Cllr. Redd (being threatened)

It doesn't look like there'll be much time for sandwiches. A terrible time for that moron to die.