So now that I am old enough to leave home and live my life as i want i havnt the faintest idea what that is. I have spent most of my childhood making a considerable mess when trying to understand the magic that was in my fathers old books so i guess i could try that seeing as there is not a chance in the gods grace that i could ever be a warrior. So i took the money i have been saving up for this day and went out to old Davino's shop and bought a scroll case and book as well as a whole mass of other weird stuff and started on the path.

Well its been about a month now and if i do say so myself i am doing rather well. I have tried a few things, just starting small for now and working from there but its getting easier and i am able to use more of the advanced scrolls the traders are selling. Doing odd jobs about town for coin i am able to get more supplies and more interesting scrolls to expand what i am learning. Maybe i might try and help some of the cites warrior types out with some of my magic seeing as I am now a fully registered mage with the spellguard (though quite what making the agent a sandwich proved i dont know). Maybe one day i will be able to join the spellguard and help the city and maybe even pass on what i have learned, that be nice and gives me something to work towards.

Right lets see, what been happening. Oh thats right, I have been practicing more the past days and have met some really strange people along the way. Met one called Snorri, a Dwarf that follows Illmater, a lovely soul but he's as mad as the old chap that used to hang about the stairs in the rock bottom inn before it got destroyed, (I wonder what happened to that poor old guy, we used to taunt him something terrible when we where kids). Snorri and I went ghost hunting and dispite the fact he kept me safe i really dont like ghosts and spirits so i doudt i'll be going after them for a while. Also met a nice man called Kyle though he's a bit strange as well. He gave me a nice gem though i dont really know why unless he really likes me. But nevermind, i'll see him about no doudt anyway and maybe he can help me learn some more stuff by getting in some practice with what i know already. Also met a priestess of Azuth, nice lady she has helped me learn how to dispell magics which is always going to me useful.

I still wonder what is happening to our family, well at least to my brother Jarad. My poor twin is doudtless running around having a hell of a time being free and reckless, but mother always did say i was the smart one. Father seems pleased with my progress as a mage though he dosnt like the fact that I am considering applying to join the ranks of the spellguard. If i hear the story about how his best friend did and was never the same again, again I will scream. I have made a really good friend of Gralla the big half-orc warrior, she's maybe not the smartest in the world buts she's lovely and kind and an exellant warrior. We fought some kobolds who where causing trouble, well Gralla did most of the fighting, and some other things but it all went quite well and we get on great which makes things more enjoyable.

Well i've done it, i've reached the third circle of magic and i've gotten quite an impressive collection in my spell books of the lower level scrolls. Jewel and I did some work today and while she is a bit of a money minded girl she is a good sort so i dont mind her always thinking about where her next job is coming from. Met some other folks around that seemed like good sorts which is always a bonus but i keep feeling like i'm going to meet some right unpleasent types soon seeing as its be all goodly people so far i've gotten to know. Dont know if it matters much all said cause am hardly threatening so most likily thay will just ignore me seeing as i dont cause trouble.

Rigth the down side to being able to use the third circle of magic the massive cost that new scrolls are going to cost me. I asked father and he spent nearly three hours lecturing me on why he had spent so long training me to understand the art of potion brewing and wand crafting. I guess he's right, as always. I'll experiment a little and see how productive a potion brewing business will be as a means of raising the gold i am going to need to progress my studies.

Well had a responce from Davino about maybe being of some use to him as an assistant. He's not needing one for now but says he'll let me know should he be looking for something in the future so for now i'll just carry on doing as I am to pick up what i need to learn from my little jobs here and there. On the plus side i've got this potion brewing thing down to a fine art now as well as wand crafting so as soon as i know costs and such for a fair number of potion types i think i'll go about advertising my services. With any luck i'll make enought gold to pay for some of those really nice scrolls Davino and the other merchants are stocking these days. Doudtless there are other mages in the city doing the same thing but its always worth a chance and maybe i can deal with a local merchant to sell them at a cut price to his existing customers. I'll keep an eye out for just such an oppertunity, though that chap Fireheart seems to be respected as a merchant and he wont turn away the chance for a profit from what i've seen so far. Once i have a product list i'll get in contact with him about a deal.

Alrigth lets see, whats been happening. The potion buisness is up and running and whenever possible i'm making up what is doudtless the most useful ones. It seem there migth well be a good market for potions of the spell ghostly visage commonly known as blur for its protective effects. I have left word with lord Fireheart about a buisness venture in selling the potions and await word from him, though i must stay strong for no doudt being a smart merchant he is going to try and con me on the purchase costs. Met Kyle's lovely lady today as well. I can see why he likes her other than the obvious that she's an exellant warrior and really strong. We did a few odd jobs about town and i picked up a number of very interesting items, no new scrolls to add to the books but a very odd deep gnome device that can unlesh a bolt of controlled power. Maybe with study i can replicate the thing or find some way of making use of it other than its appart purpose of destroying things. I am beginning to think lower has gone back to the madness it was gripped with when i was a child. Mad gangs of angry men who have no real reason to be so angry or at least any reason that is in anyway sensible. I'm just glad Kyle was there dispite his seeming need to pick a fight with the odd boy Alex, i just feel safer knowing that if it came to it Kyle would have won any fight that would have broken out. Poor Alex, he is quite mad and you'd think from his talk a powerful warrior but really i think he's just a scared little boy. Maybe if i see him again i can calm him down and see if i cant get him sorted out a bit, he could be a very good scout if he put his mind to it rather than all these threats he keeps throwing about.

So the past few days have been up and down. At least that would be the best way to discribe them i guess. I continue to progress my studies on the third circle spells and those of the lower levels also and have made some interesting observations. Having taken a few trips into the old machine cores my interest in this powerful thing and the Animatrons of the deep gnomes has been sparked up. I read a couple of book at the store and its left me thinking that as I had before, that if i am to make any real use of the knowledge i am gathering it be best to perhaps join the spellguard. I sent off a letter noting my interest and had a replay asking me to come in and speak with an agent. When i find one with time i'll get right on this.

I think i am in love. Its almost the most perfect feeling i have ever had and whats better he loves me too. My sweet souled man comes from lower but he could come from anywhere for all i care for he makes me so happy and safe. He dosnt think he's all that smart but he's got a good heart and is so kind that he could be as foolish as a rothe for all i care. What he dosnt know i'll help him with and likily he'll do the same for me but for now i'm just so happy i have to struggle to stay seated.

Well it seems nothing is sacred after all. My poor friend Kyle's wedding was ruined by some fool setting off a bomb. Kyles such a sweet man, if a little odd and his to be wife such a kind lady i cant help but feel sorry for them. Kyle said a child was killed during it all, i mean a child. What kind of monster kills a child. Apparantly the old seeker hall was warded against magic and some of those horrid mage eater creatures where drawn in during the whole mess. Kyle said the spellguard where investigating but he didnt sound too impressed. What would he say if i told him i was applying to join them. Perhaps i wont say anything seeing as its hardly certain i will be accepted into the ranks anyway.

Well lets see here, i have been progressing well with potion brewing and advancing my studies and so far as joining the spellguard goes, well that remains to be seen. Still havnt had a chance to speak with Lord Fireheart about my offer but seeing as what happened at the wedding i think he might well be busy the next few darks. Maybe it would be best to just try and sell the potions myself and perhaps still wholesale to him at the same time. Keep money in his purse and my own so everyone is happy. Need to set out a pricing structure though, bearing in mind production costs and the effort it takes to produce the potions. I'll speak to my friends and see what sort of range thay would be willing to pay for them and base the costings off of that. I mean it does make sence to listen to the potential clients stance on such things as it is thay who would be purchasing the products at the end of the day.

I'm starting to get a fair bit of buisness from the potion selling and though i am not really turning a massive profit i have come to see it more as my way of helping the cities warriors. I have never been nor will be much of a fighter and while i am a passable shot with my crossbow i will never be much use in a fight save with my spells. But by helping in my small way to make the warriors of our city more effective i can help in that small way defend the city. I will need to prefect the brew of a few more specialist types and in this i will get Kyles help i think. He will know what sort of thing would be useful and he's a tough man so the odd miss brew while i get the balance rigth shouldnt do him any specific harm. I miss my dear sweet Kalidor though but he sent me a letter at the Inn and his words filled me with joy and hope that i'll be with him again soon, just hope its sooner rather than later. Everything is going so well of late, i've made some good friends, i'm progressing well with my studies, i'm making my contribution to the city with my potions and my continued research into the machine (Which reminds me i really need to organise another trip into the depths agian) and i am in love with a wonderful man that loves me and makes me feel more alive that i have ever felt.

Potion orders are steady and i'm having some success in some trips out into the darker places of my home. I think i can safely say i'm not going to be able to join the spellguard and to be really truthfull i dont really mind. The thought of taking orders from that creepy man Agent Miller just makes my skin crawl. He's just so cold and nasty, i mean isnt there anything in this world he's thankful for (accept maybe food... still have no idea what that was all about). Anyway as for today, went and helped Hrogrin lord it over a gray dwarf as he is so fond of doing. Dealing with a few trogs was the order of the day and it went rather well till we headed back and Kyle got set on by a really big ogre. Still Morwen was nearby and helped put it down. I've missed her, she's always so sweet and cheerful, though Kyle does seem a little more than her brother at times, well at least he would like to be i think. I find this the oddest thing about my hulking friend, he's sweet and kind but he's a bit well girlish around certain people. I mean for a man who is getting married he is a little over friendly with Morwen but then i dont know much about relationships save for me and Kalidor. Anyway i doudt it means anything, i mean he acts like that around me sometimes and he's never tried anything, besides i think Clara would beat him if he cheated on her and i dont doudt he knows it. Thay do make a nice couple, wierd but nice. Still Wierd is good, just like my home.

People kept asking me if i produced potions of speed, so i went out and got the scroll needed and have added it to my stocks. Thay cost a fair amount to produce but with all the demand people must be willing to pay for them. I'll experiment a bit more with some other types also, elemental protection might prove handy seeing as it was by large the only reason those two hunters asked for my help the other dark with those giant spiders. I felt really sick and angry the other dark, that monster Agent Miller had a mad burned alive on the gates of the new Dunwarren, thankfully a watchman put the poor man down. What kind of monster is he, i mean the man might have been a murderer or an assasin or whatever he was ment to be and his elvish friend who thay arrested before the madness got going was as bad no doudt but to do that to a man is just sick. I'm not going to let it bother me, too much in life is good for this one sick twisted old monster to drag me down. I actually felt more angry at myself for not seeing the spellguard for what thay are. Any organisation that hires people like Miller arnt worth my efforts, and dispite Kyle saying one agent was alright (No suprise it was a woman mind you) i will not even consider it again. I think Clara might be a little annoyed though, during the whole mess i broke down and started crying, i mean who's going to blame me, i'm not a fighter or soilder used to seeing that sort of horrible show and i'm not ashamed of it either. But Kyle came over to make sure i was alright being the kind heart soul he is but Clara did shoot him a glare and seeing as I know what Kyle's like to an extent i told him to leave it be. I dont want anything to come between those two. Kyle's a good man and I like Clara, she such a lovely soul and so very kindhearted for the most part. I'd not want to be between them for any reason, so i should maybe speak to Kyle when i have a chance. Besides i have my Kalidor and he's all i'll ever need.

Anyway, no sence being all glum, too much to be happy about so on we go again. Word of mouth seems to be spreading about my potions and everyone keeps saying how cheep thay are. I'm not doing it to get rich i mean, why bother when i can be helpful and so on. Still the little i make off them adds up and lets me buy better scrolls to add to my books and the odd trinket also, which reminds me i need to speak to Lord Fireheart about selling some bits and pieces. He'll likily have them already or not wish them but one must try.

I've done it, little old me has figured out the first basic spells of the fourth circle. Father will be so proud, though he is likily going to lecture me now no the proper use of power. Still i'm so happy and things are just going so well. I've had great sucess with the potions buisness, i'm progressing well with my studies and i've got many a good friend these darks it just makes the dark that little brighter. I sat with Serrey while he sang and have to admit he's got a beutiful voice. He sings of the surface world and it sounds so nice but its not my home. Maybe one day i'll see it but for now i like what his song makes me think of so it will work well. I also saw that necromancer fellow the council wants brought to trial, and his undead servant. That man is of great power and i see why so many fear him but i didnt get the impression he wanted to do us any harm. Still he said he was leaving so i guess we'll never really know. I think the only thing bad for now is i havnt seen Kalidor the past nights, i miss him and want to be with him. But he's most likily busy working so i can wait. I think i'll give Kyle a shock when next we go out and do some work, maybe turn into a troll just to throw him off. That should be fun, well for me at least.

Aint no-body got any manners anymore. I was raised in upper sure but i was born and spent most of my days in lower and i just dotn get it. Folks walking about making threats and hitting some people for being spy's. Must be something in the water down there that makes normal folk get all crazy and what not. Then again, uppers as bad at times. The council exiled Neles, my cheerful somewhat wierd friend for having some spellguard item. Neles isnt a thief so as far as i can tell if some agent lost something and Neles found it whats the harm. Thay should be happy it want found by anyone unpleasent like that rude little halfling i met in lower and her gang of thugs. Kyle says thay work for someone called Captain Thorne. Might have to keep an eye out a bit more. This whole mess is so depressing, i just want to curl up and let it all wear itself out which it always does. Why cant we just be happy we are safe and dont have to worry about to much and just get along. Most of the folk doing all the fighting and complainin aint even from here originally, i mean its aint really their home and thay just go around making trouble. Some folks just need to learn some manners and stay out of other folks buisness.

Alrigth now i am glad my family is almost normal. Sure my father is has a wicked temper and dosnt trust anyone anymore, and my brother is most likily running around playing knight gone wrong but thay are almost normal when compaired to the Firehearts. Clara's sweet and kind, her uncle while a money mad merchant is a good man at heart. But Eddie, what can really be said. He's loud, pigheaded and arrogant. But under all that, what kind of man is he really. He's nothing like the others, and while he has a somewhat crass way of speaking he dosnt seem to be doing it out of badness more out of boredom as he keeps saying. Then i guess our little town aint nearly as full of action as he is used to be being a knight from a far off land. He spent some time in the inn's common room having a go at nearly everyone Clara brought up in conversation, from their uncle to Kyle. I am just glad i was too tired to stay there and listen to any more than i had already. On a side note i need to stop getting angry as much, everytime i do i find myself talking like my brother used to when he got angry at me for getting him in trouble with father. Maybe i am more like them than i thought, now thats a worrying thought. I mean what have i got to be angry about anyways. Well save from people being just plain rude and making threats to peopele i am friends with that is. Folks could do with a lesson in manners i think, but it aint my place to say so it dont matter much.