Bards, playwrights, and poets seeking a patron for your art, kindly write to Aurin Guerini, the Hero of the Canal and patriot of Lower. I seek skilled individuals to compose poems and works about my past glories and triumphs.

Gold will, of course, be paid upon completion of a satisfactory work. I take my letters at the Pisser.

The notices are refreshed.

Hello ol' chap, I am Petey Sewle, the greatest bard here, or there, I don't know. Anyways, I read your charming notice in lower about your need for a bard. I'd be happy to offer my services.

What I will recquire: Just tell me everything you did in the canal. I wasn't there, so I can't sing about it.

Send me a package of mushrooms with your reply, my best work is done while smoking you see.

After I'm done I wish to be payed well. Thank you very much.

-Petey Soule, the greatest bard to have ever existed in the history of the history of time ever.

Well, I will write about you. IF your not dead of course... dead men tell no tales. hehe, quite clever!

The ale-splattered notices crumble and fade, eventually falling to the ground and being trampled upon by passing vagrants and armed radicals as they go about their business. Their author is either long dead or detained elsewhere.