I've started this journal in an attempt to organize my thoughts, to keep track of the bits and pieces so to sift through and find the truth. Truth is such an elusive thing down here. I suppose I also hope that should something happen to me, the things I've learned won't die with me, the way Dreagle's secrets did.

I don't rightly know where to start. I just know there are forces at work here that thrive in the dark, I suppose I feel some need to bring them to light. So many rumors, so many secrets. There are mysteries in the very rock of this place. Things the former inhabitants knew that are now sought by the current. I don't know why, but I am certain some of these things would be better left undisturbed. The hints Mandarin left are confusing. He only had use for the truth so far as it served his purposes, the Gods only know what those were. I've sifted through the books and notes in Sewertown, Dreagle's, Strangebone's and the others. They are so full of half-truths, innuendos, and outright lies it is difficult to tell what to believe. Mandarin was certainly insane, definitely corrupt, yet strangely I was drawn to him. He knew so much. I fear so much of the truth was lost with him. One thing I know is this, the Spellguard cannot be trusted with the power they wield. The things I saw in that workshop, and the news M has told me make that certain enough, even without G's assertion that their souls are all rotten to the core. If there is anything I can do to end their schemes I will, but first I must know more of what those schemes are. Again, Mandarin's spectre raises it's head here, he was the only one who seemed to have more than suspicions about them. I will learn what I can, but I fear it may take rousing some of the citizens from their complacency to find out more. I made a trip into the Tower with a few others, to see if I could find what I saw before. We met no success and I may have turned some good fellows against me. It may work to my advantage if they think me paranoid or mad though. That way if the Agents learn of my inquiries they will dismiss me as a madman and little threat. M certainly thinks I will have little success. But she never seemed to look much beyond my "pretty face" as she put it. Let her think I am chasing after animatron prostitutes then, she'll learn eventually. As for those particular rumors, they are the most farfetched of the lot. The others however, seem at the very least plausible in light of what I know already. Invisible animatrons would not suprise me. Rituals to bind fiendish souls into the machines are not so outlandish given the shape of the creature I saw in the workshop. The same goes for the construction of animatrons from the dead. Some of the others are so preposterous I will dismiss them for now, however, anything is possible. I can't think much more about all this now. Probably time to find a good drink and a cozy spot in the inn.

*most of the names have been scratched out, leaving only initials*

Many things have happened since my last entry. I will attempt to organize them but my thoughts are far from orderly right now. Firstly, R and S and I have made a pact of sorts to find some way of rooting out the corruption in this town. We plan to form some sort of organization for self defense and to keep an eye on the various factions vying for power. So many seem content to simply mend the sails on what is now clearly a sinking ship. I'm not sure precisely what form this will take, especially given R's dangerous undertaking he's begun. We'll have to be secretive. But eventually we plan to recruit others to the cause. Our "guardians" cannot be trusted so someone must watch them and protect the people. It seems that someone will be us. I've begun approaching prospective recruits and am trying to find a token of sorts by which to identify ourselves to each other. It is my hope that this token will eventually be a sign to the townsfolk that someone is looking out for them. A little light in the darkness.

M has confirmed some of my suspicions about the Spellguard. She learned through a spy that the rumors of fiends being bound into the animatrons are true. The Spellguard practically admitted as much at their farce of an "open house" today. I believe I have made them quite nervous. My confrontation regarding the beast in the workshop was met with fidgeting denials. They even brought out a crippled Dhimani to refute my claims. At least the people have seen that "something" attacked him. Hopefully a seed of truth will take root from that. I must assume that I have been revealed as an enemy to them now and my life is likely in danger. Their attack dog certainly seems to have a hunger in his eyes when watching me. I wonder if I am being watched or if Delgado has already ordered my death. So be it. Attacks against me can only bolster my claims and give them weight. The more agressively they seek to discredit me, the more they tip their hand.

And on top of all of these struggles, it seems I cannot help but fall into the pleasant trap of woman trouble. A welcome diversion, true, but one that could become complicated, especially as they are all in one way or another involved in my other worries. There is S, quiet, kind and loyal, but possibly fragile. I fear to dissapoint or hurt her, but think it may be inevitable. And as always M, now unburdening her hidden sadness on my shoulders, asking nothing outright, but nonetheless leaving me feeling the need to do something to ease her pain. And a new intrigue, E, mysterious and beautiful, I know not yet what she is playing at, but for now it is entertaining. And somewhere, never quite there as often as I would like, there is that other, more lovely than a mortal has a right to be, oddly knowing and naive at once, and seemingly oblivious to whatever charms the others see in me. Strange that someone such as me, caring little for order or law should be drawn to one who practically has those qualities in her blood. But that is a mystery that will probably never be solved.

For now I should find what answers may be revealed in dreams, and pray an assasin's knife doesn't wake me.

I nearly forgot. M has told me where to seek Dreagle's remains. This definitely bears investigating. The truth of his death could shed light on any number of things, and there may be other ways of finding truth from this, though those thoughts are probably best left unthought.

Hammer, 4th, Year 151,

I may as well start dating these entries. It seems every time I get up to date, events rush forward with such velocity it puts me behind a tenday at least. The House of Light has burned nearly to the ground, R swears P and her band are responsible. I still don't fathom precisely what her motives are, but nonetheless, several innocents are dead and a place of shelter has become a smoking pile of debris.

I shall have to go back a few days to make things clear though. Several days ago, a group of us set out for Fort Mur. P said she was interested in talking to me, she had revealed that she knew some of R and my plans. I later learned he had been spending much time with her. Even now he feels guilt for what has happened. We made it to the Fort without much incident and P and I found a place to talk while the others rested.

She revealed to me that she had plans that may coincide with mine, but told me I was reckless and on course to incite violence and death. I disagreed but she is not one to be reasoned with it seems. In the end the issue was unresolved. We headed back to Sanctuary.

On the way, we were assaulted by trolls. Or rather, trolls attempted to take a toll from us and S, sometimes that elf is nearly as stubborn as a dwarf, refused and began to fight. There were just too many of them and we were soon overcome, our group being scattered and unprepared for the battle. As a result of her injuries, S lost her memory for a time and did not recall me or the feelings we shared. She has since recovered the memories, but apparently not the feelings, or so she has expressed.

My own injuries left me unconscious and seperated from the rest. All except P it seems. I cannot guess how she managed to drag my nearly lifeless body all the way to Sewertown, but that is where I awoke. It was there that she tried to convince me, and very nearly did for a moment, that I had been unconscious for a month. She told me that in that time she had been elected Councilor, and I had been tried and found guilty of endangering Sanctuary. She said I was presumed dead and so must remain with her in Sewertown. She then revealed that she had read this journal. She seemed particularly incensed that she was not mentioned in it, even to the point of trying to believe the passages about E were about herself. I'm not sure if this is part of her madness, an act, or genuine jealousy. In any case it was somewhat amusing.

Eventually she gave up the lie and released me but warned me not to continue in my plans. She offered me a place with her but I refused. She is too dangerous. I suspected it then and it seems confirmed now. She may just believe she is justified and this perhaps is the most dangerous thing about her. Still, I may be able to get close enough to her to learn something of what she plans. I shall have to be cautious though. The most beautiful serpents are often the most poisonous. I wonder if she would be satisfied to read this journal now.

R's part in all this is a whole other story, one I have yet to hear all of. Perhaps he will tell me later. I saw him after they stoned that fiend Maestro, who M said was one of the bombers. He seems quite wracked by guilt. I can understand but still, was he so wrong in holding out hope that P's intentions were good? Is it not the right thing to do? To try to see the best in people? But then, look where it got M. She was friends with Maestro, perhaps more, and he showed himself to be a foul and twisted beast. Must we be so driven into corners here that we cannot look kindly at anyone? I won't live in constant fear, and my hope is to find ways to lessen the fears of others if I can.

At least I have E's gentle presence to calm me for now. Her sarcasm is entertaining and though she seems somewhat cold to others, with me she is all warmth. It is something to thank Tymora for I think. There are so few such blessings here.

I still wonder where G is though. It would be helpful to have that strong sense of right to help steady my doubts. I will have to try finding her, perhaps leave a letter for her.

All of this and I still have not mentioned Wulgar. I still feel shock when I consider how lacking in sense that decision was. That brave Seeker, guilty only of standing up for himself and those who needed his aid, killed by a town called Sanctuary, a town supposedly founded on the very ideals that led him ot his course. I will not dwell upon the hours I spent in a cell for speaking the truth about that travesty, I'll only say that I would do it over and over again if need be.