The Smiling Death, consumer of my thoughts and desires, I have swum your river, and it pulled me to Sanctuary. I knew at once why you wanted me here. There is more meat here than I ever thought possible. The streets teem with life, it is your divine larder. Your humble servant does not know what he has done to deserve such a bounty, but he swears before that he will consume them all to bring glory to your name. What I consume in the flesh, will be consumed by you in the spirit. Together we feast!

I offer to you this dark the flesh of the rat. I start simple, for I understand all beings, large and small, pass into your maw and add to your glory. My first meal was a rat. But not the petty, miserable things I had seen before, but a massive, sleek beast. It was the size of a dog, and worthy foe. M’sh and I shared equal portions. The skin tasted like lower bowel, but the flesh was succulent and sweet. Well exercised and well fed. The flesh was denser, more solid than any rat I had eaten before. The rats here are different - stronger and harder. The organs were… not quite as I expected, the liver too small and red, and the heart larger and more purple. Something is different about these rats, I have eaten a riddle, and in time the power of your spiritual digestion will secret answers for your follower.

I offer you the flesh of the kobold. The bounty of this place is beyond compare. I beg you to bless me with more stomach space. So much flesh passes in front of me, I feel I can only taste a titbit here and there, never stopping for a full meal. I must have eaten organs from a dozen kobolds. Although spiritually pleasing, their hearts are dry and tough, and the lungs course and heavy. It was rather in the humble kidneys I found the most moist and tasty flesh. The rich blood of the reptiles mingled in the mouth with spicy warm spurts of urine. I hope you savoured the succulent fluid explosions, great Lord of the Consumption.

I offer to you the flesh of the zombie. I have finally learned my lesson on the dead that walk. After many tasteless, dry meals, your wisdom infused me. The way to choose a good zombie lies not in the flesh or state of decay of the zombie. Rather quality comes from a close examination of the parasites that infest the rotting flesh. After this realisation, I enjoyed several feasts. The tastiest was a variety of yellow hookworm, although the more common maggots also have an acceptably nutty taste. I am glad that I was able to consume something delicious for you, my lord. I hope the zombies and parasites are as much to your liking as they were to me and M’sh.

I offer to you this dark the flesh of an ettin. The being was huge and presented a considerable challenge to consume. The bigness of the ettin prevented me from consuming every organ. However the advantage of the size was obvious, even to an inexpert consumer like myself. The cheek, normally the most succulent part of an animal, yet usually only a snack, not a meal, was here not only vastly increased in size and weight, but also doubled in number. The four cheek stakes were satisfying in mass and in delicacy. I hope you lingered on them with as much appreciation as I did.

I offer to you this dark the flesh of the Clear Ooze. Your tests were almost the end of me this dark. Before me you placed a warehouse, stuffed with many different living slimes and jellies. With the help of a mage I was able to put names to some of them, and I tried them all, as your dutiful servant. The first was called a Mustard Jelly. Even with your strongest wards against acid, I was burned most painfully. My belly burned hot and swelled in size. I curled up and screamed, hoping to keep your prize within, but I was not able to, and I burned my throat and mouth vomiting the ichor back up. I will need to practice hard before I can consume such for you, o’ Smiling One. Next I consumed a portion of a large Gelatinous Cube. I cut the clearest looking segment, and the taste was not unpleasant, light and tangy. Unfortunately it froze my mouth and throat, and I was unable to swallow the single bite I took. Only due to judicious backslapping and the fact I fell into water, which dissolved some of the jelly, was I able to breath. Again, you show how far I am from your glorious eating, how far I have yet to travel. Finally I settled on a Clear Ooze. It was not good eating, rank in taste and almost as toxic in consistency. With your spells of protection I was able to hold down several bites. I was deathly ill all-night, shuddering and sweating under the mushroom where I slept. I hope this will suffice for you, and do not yet have me consumed for my weakness.

I offer you this dark the flesh of a volt. I was led deep into the machine by brother of the soil, Jaug. He is not an eater, but he respects my strength and we work together well. Inside he showed me the size of this machine they speak of. You have showed me my reward already, is this the task you pulled me here for? Am I to destroy this machine? The machine lashed out at us with bolts of lighting, but we did not flinch. The volts seemed to live off this energy, reflecting it back at us when we entered their territory. Life learns to feed of anything, even something as unnatural as a giant metal machine. When we killed them all, I chose the largest one, and ate it in its entirety. It was like a tangy fish of the water, but each bite let out a small zap. With your blessings upon me, this was not harmful, and I enjoyed the rush. The two long strips of blue flesh along either side of the spine were both the most heavily charged, and the best tasting. Since volts hunt in packs there is always ample quantities of this flesh, which I will consume in your name, as always.