As someone who has played 3 paladins and a couple of rogues who've lived on the border between light and dark, I can say that alignment shifts are a welcome thing for me.
Even when I would get knocked chaotic for questing with evil people as a paladin, it was what I deserved. I was breaking how a paladin should be.
As far as fighting them tooth and nail, that is usually because players know they can't just easily get those alignment points back like XP or gold. It's totally out of their hands. Perhaps this could be aleviated by one time only tasks. Similar to quests that can only be done once per character ever. These quests give small alignment shifts but that's it.
I also understand the DM's plight about how the OOC discussions from those who fight the changes can really turn them off to handing them out. The players need to better understand their CHARACTERand the motives behind them - NOT OUR motives behind them.
When you create a character on this server, you are no longer Tony from Seattle playing EfU, you are Leon Belmont, Paladin of Lathander and thus you must put yourself in his strict, stuffy persona and abide by that persona. If you break away from that, then you will get zinged.
Also, to counter the thought that you can't get a DM's attention for something that generates an alignment shift, you can as I've done it.
You have to either wait for them to arrive in person or have documentation in the form of logs, screen shots or other means to prove that you in fact performed the act that would generate a shift.
Also keep in mind that if you are say Lawful Good you start off at 85 Lawful and 85 Good. This means that you, over your life, have made mistakes, but by and large are Lawful and Good. You'd have to do something VERY lawful or VERY good to get a shift in that direction since alignment, as far as I can tell, works along the lines of a curve of diminishing returns. Meaning that the closer you get to absolute lawful, or absolute good, the harder it is to get those points and the more you have to do in order to shift that way.
I mean if you obey the laws of a town, you are lawful, but how do you prove you are MORE lawful than the guy standing next to you? Well you have to do something extraordinarily lawful. Such would be turning in your close friend for breaking the law. That would be above and beyond what a typical 85 point Lawful person would do. (though you'd likely lose your friend, you did the lawful thing in the process).
The same goes for being evil, if you are 85 points evil you're going to have to do something REALLY henious. So if you are a murderer, you'd have to murder someone in a very vicious, painful way. Such as torturing them to death. Maybe feeding them their own entrails while they are still alive and emoting that you are truly enjoying doing this to them would push you all the way to 100 points evil. You get the point.
DM's, as one mentioned earlier, enjoy creating new items or creating quests with interesting story tie-ins more than debating the finer points of neutrality vs chaos vs good. Alignment topics are like talking politics IRL - everyone has an opinion and they're all different!
I mean, if you get an alignment shift you argue about it, but do you argue about how much DM xp you get after a quest? Or whether the DM gave you only 7 healing potions when you have 8 party members?
Honestly, just accept that if you don't role play your character to the stereo typical nature of the class and handbook description of each alignment, then you're likely to get a shift.