I solemnly offer the grave greetings of the dim caves,

I am prepared to accept the position of caretaker for your mausoleum, in the name of the true Lord of Death, Jergal.

I am predominantly a scholar, but well versed in the arts of mummification, embalement, and burial. I shall keep careful records of the deceased, and maintain a clean and orderly mausoleum.

I will require certain chambers made available to me for various necromantic experimentations. Additionally, I shall expect funds be offered as an incentive to buy the organs and vital parts of the deceased for the purposes of said necromantic experiments.

I will arrange for adequate security, through the use of willing undead servants. I will establish a program in which the citizens of your town may will their remains for such a purpose. It is possible that I may require access to additional funds to arrange for the animation of said undead guards/assistant/servants, but I do not expect the expense to be large.

I look forward to your prompt response and acknowledgement of my position as caretaker of the Mausoleum.

Respectfully yours,

Aleczumberzeil te Esoterotept

Mr de Esoteric,

Please speak with our Councilors at your earliest convenience, as the Mausoleum is owned by the town, and thus the appointment ultimately rests with them!

M. Cleidt Office of the Herald

Alec mournfully reads the original notice which clearly states that letters are to be directed to the Office of the Herald, sighs dolorously, and arranges for his original letter to be forwarded in full to each Councilor, his dry lips pressed together firmly all the while.