Mr Penrose,

I'll not beat around the bush. We are impressed with your work, and we want you and any associates you may have to work for Vile Industries as our Journalists. You will receive access to the barracks, which includes free food and lodgings. You'll get informants, good money and office space. The catch is that we would like you to rename your publication to "eVile Magazine". Your name will be given full credit, and we will fully respect your desire to fill your publication with whatever material you like, as long as it doesn't damage the Industries' reputation.

We look forward to hearing your decision.

Dr Profidious Vile, Proprietor of Vile Industries

Dr Profidious Vile,

Hello! While your offer is very tempting, we here at the Penrose Knows value our independence, poor food, cramped quarters, and lack of monetary recompense, because it's all about the work. So we must decline your very generous offer. Thanks though and best of luck in your business ventures!

The Penrose Knows