Mr. Smithe,

I would hereby like to invite you to take seat at the judges' table at the large pre-electoral debate I am organizing to take place in the next few days.

As a judge, your function will be to sit with me and a third judge to provide commentary on the quality of arguments and general image of the debaters to the public.

Please let me know as soon as possible whether you wish to attend.

Thank you,

Grado Verkman Last Stand

Mr Verkman,

Your invitation is appreciated (and indeed, cherished), but I must respectfully declined. I take it that you are a fan of my work, so I will share with you the reason that I have decided not to attend your debate.

The insane dwarven candidate, Porky Thule, has made numerous threats on my life. He has threatened to, and I quote directly from his dirty, ale splattered mouth, chop off my legs at the knees and feed them to rothe and slaughter me in the name of some obscure dwarven deity, no doubt praised as the patron of unhealthy levels of alcohol consumption and ugly, bearded women. Because of this individual's threats to my person, I am afraid I cannot attend your debate.

You strike me as a capable individual who is well versed in politics, however. If you're interested, I'd like to offer you as a position in my fledgling political union. It would be an excellent way to see to it that only the best are given seats on the Council. What do you say?

If you're smart enough to take me up on my offer, I'll have a job for you straight away.

Most sincerely,

M Smythe

Mr. Smythe,

Seeing as this will be a public debate, I hardly would think it unwise to attend if you wish Thule to be disrobed to the public. I will make sure that there are a sufficient number of Watchmen present to ensure that any form of aggressivity in the direction of your person will be either avoided or nullified.

In the same way, should Thule issue any threats, as a judge, you have the opportunity to take this bit of instability in his personality and blow it up like a gnomish airship. Something like that will undoubtedly cost him many, many votes, and if not that, at least credibility with his future fellow councillors.

I urge you to reconsider, mr. Smythe. If you do, I shall be glad to discuss your job offer on a later date.

Sincerely,

Grado Verkman