In attempting to pen this announcement of my candidacy, I was torn between the necessity of theatrics and the sincerity of my simple, honest campaign. So sorry; in essence, I either fill your mouth with rotheshit, or you won't pay attention.

Gods slay the Spider Queen!

Free Booze and Elf Girls!

Get your bloody justice here!

With that tiresome showboating aside, let us get down to the brass tacks. If you vote for me, I will make governmental reform a big issue. I will make sure that it's not just me who listens to you, but all my comrades on the Council. I will make every effort to make this whole city run more smoothly, so when emergency strikes, we will be ready to strike back. Bureaucracy as a tool, not an obstacle.

I'm not going to put my issues and my personal goals out here and try to make them yours. There are more than enough troubles for everybody to have a share. What I will promise you is that if you are not satisfied with the way things are, then I will hear you out. I will do everything in my power to erase that invisible barrier, that uncrossable distance between the high and mighty Council and the honest citizen.

I do not intend to make promises that I will not keep in full. That is not my idea of sincerity. The only promise I make is that I will be here to hear you, and to act on your word. Improvement of the state of things is near, and a healthier city awaits us.

Vote K'talka Gautieri for Council.