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Vote for Porki Thule

When our foreign enemies attack, who can we count on to defend us? Above all, you can count on Porki Thule to stand at the fore and keep you safe from harm! After all, what Mind Flayer has the strength of ego to withstand the wicked barbs of Porki's cruel rebuttals? Demands for slavery and tribute will be met with curses, underpants, and accusations of time spent in carnal knowledge of rothes.

Vote for Porki Thule! His parents probably died and he's just working off the last of his childish child-like spirit.

Dear voters,

I was under the mistaken assumption that Porki Thule was a rowdy child playing at politics, when in fact it is a grown man who meets criticism with mediocre jibes. Well that's sort of depressing, isn't it?

Vote for K. She won't make false insinuations about the outrageous personal issues of her enemies like that rothe-licker Porki.